We all know the biggest crime ever committed against humanity was when Marvel Comics stopped putting those one-line ads at the bottom of their pages - the ones that used to tell you what was going on in their other releases of that month.
"But even so," I hear you cry, "what kind of fool would be so sad as to have a favourite set of those ads?"
This fool would.
In Steve Does Comics' tireless endeavour to sink ever further into the quagmire of futility, I bring you my favourite set of Marvel's one-line ads. They come from Marvel Spotlight #12, featuring the debut of the Son of Satan.
Why they're my favourites, I don't know. I suspect a quick check would tell me they're neither better nor worse than the ones that could be found in any randomly selected comic. It strikes me that, rhythmically, these particular ones're mostly ungainly - and the last quote in particular seems especially clumsy in its execution.
In the end I think it's down to mere association, the fact that they appear in conjunction with the Son of Satan, the man I've modelled myself so closely on for all these years.
So, to compound my madness further, here they are:
"Who'd ever believe the Miracle Man could destroy the world? Not the Fantastic Four- till they face the truth in ish #139!"
"Dracula Lives - in three terror fraught tales, no less!"
"How can Conan stand against - the Shadow in the Tomb?"
"Special battle issue! Ka-Zar vs the Super-Soldier --- all waiting for you, in Astonishing Tales #20, right now!"
"Who is Memorax? Learn his startling secret - in Warlock #8!"
"Crazy magazine! First explosive issue - now on sale!"
"Kraven the Hunter's back in town! But this time, the town is Frisco --- and the victim is Daredevil! Don't miss the wall-to-wall action!"
This is where I now ask you which Marvel comic featured your favourite one-line ads.
This is where I suspect I'm not going to get any answers.
Keep Those Things Away From Me - Novel
1 year ago