Steve Does Comics

Thor's all-time greatest enemy - Poll Results!

2012-02-10T20:33:00.000Z

By the malleting majesty of Mjolnir, the results are in from our poll to find Thor's greatest ever foe!

And what results they are. Why, they threaten to shake the foundations of fair Asgard itself.

In joint fourth, with one vote each, are the Destroyer, Mangog, the Enchantress and Zarrko the Tomorrow Man.

In joint second, with three votes each, are Hela and the Absorbing Man.

But the runaway winner - appropriately, given that he's no stranger to running away - is none other than Thor's half-brother Loki, with a mighty fifteen votes.

Verily, the people of the Internet hath spoken.

Sadly, Larry the Lava Man got no votes at all. Oh the cruel injustice.

But, regardless of such unfairnesses to the sneaky subterranean, thanks to all who voted - and commiserations to those plucky villains who didn't quite make the grade.

Origins of Marvel Comics.

2012-02-06T20:35:00.001Z

First off, I promised the man the world knows as Capn Midnight that I'd give a plug for his comic Zombie Outlaw. So, if you don't have enough zombies in your life - or would rather spend your time with the outlaws than the in-laws - it might be just the thing for you.

But it's now time for Steve Does Comics to leave such gruesome matters behind and perform its speciality of reviewing something I've not actually read.

Well, OK, that's not strictly true. I've read Origins of Marvel Comics more times than I could shake a Skrull at but I haven't had my hands on a copy for a good fifteen years, meaning I'm going to have to ramble on about my vague recollections of it and hope they bear some resemblance to reality.

I was given the first three Marvel Origins books on Christmas Day in what may have been 1975 and, of course, quickly realised they're the three greatest books ever published in the history of mankind, containing as they do the births of our favourite heroes and villains.

First of the Triptych of Tremendous was Origins of Marvel Comics. How could I not love it? Not only did it have Stan Lee's hands on the cover but it gave us the first appearances of the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, the Hulk, Thor and Dr Strange. Sadly, Ant-Man, who was technically Marvel's second ever super-hero, was nowhere to be seen.

Still, as if the origins we did get weren't enough to make any Christmas, we also got a bonus story for each of those characters, from a few years later in their development.

Admittedly the choice of later stories could in places seem a little odd.

The later Fantastic Four tale barely featured the Fantastic Four at all, concentrating as it did on the Thing fighting the Silver Surfer.

It was hard to argue against the story featuring the Hulk vs Sub-Mariner. With its lack of the usual supporting cast, it could hardly be called a typical example of that phase in the strip's history but it had two of Marvel's mightiest heroes going toe-to-toe, so who was ever going to complain about that?

The later Spider-Man tale featured the Shocker. It was entertaining enough - and gave us a fair bit of Peter Parker's personal woes but, given the string of classics to choose from, and the fact it was atypical in being drawn by John Buscema, I always felt there must've been more logical tales to choose from.

The selection for the later Thor story always seemed plain perverse to me - being Part One of a two-part story, meaning it ended just as it was getting exciting. Not only that but it was inked by Bill Everett instead of Vince Colletta, meaning we didn't get a flavour of the strip's usual look.

I must admit I can recall barely anything about the later Dr Strange tale other than it was drawn by Marie Severin and featured Umar. To be honest, such was its lack of impact on me, I think I may have only read it once and never bothered to revisit the tale. The failure to select a Gene Colan/Tom Palmer outing really did strike me as baffling.

The other Dr Strange tales - featuring his Steve Ditko drawn debut and his origin - were of course beyond reproach.

I think Thor's origin was the only one I'd actually read prior to getting the book, so it was an eye opener to see exactly how my much-loved heroes started out. The Fantastic Four tale, with its origin and then meeting with the Mole Man felt incredibly long and epic. Spider-Man was of course an emotion-packed classic.

But my favourite origin of the ones presented here had to be the aforementioned Thor. There's still something about Don Blake finding that cane in that cave, and the Stone Men From Saturn's invasion attempt that always grabs me.

My least favourite of those origins was probably the Hulk's. The bit where he actually became the Hulk was fine but the later section with the Gargoyle all felt somewhat workmanlike and of its time compared to the other origins.

At the time I had the book I wasn't aware of the controversies over who created what in the Marvel Universe and so took as gospel Stan's recollections of himself basically coming up with everything. It'd be interesting to read Stan's text sections today, with that in mind.

I also now know the golf match at which Martin Goodman decided he needed an answer to the Justice League may never have happened, that Amazing Fantasy #15 may not have been planned to be the last ever issue when Spider-Man was slotted into it, and that a whole bunch more anecdotes about how things unfolded may have owed more to Stan Lee's faulty memory and breezy willingness to bend reality to the needs of a good story than they did to accuracy.

So, as a historical document it was probably somewhat unreliable but it helped make my Christmas one year, and anything that makes a child's Christmas can't be totally without merit.

The Norse Poll. Who is Thor's all-time greatest enemy?

2012-02-04T19:47:00.001Z

With his flowing blond locks, fluttering cape and wingy helmet, who doesn't love Thor: God of Thunder?

Well, plenty of people it'd seem as, over the years, he's managed to acquire more foes than you can shake a hammer at. But just who is the thunder god's greatest ever enemy?

There's plenty of contenders. There's Loki, Mangog, the Absorbing Man, the Wrecker, Ulik the Unstoppable, the Stone Men from Saturn and, of course, Odin.

I'll always have a soft spot for Hela thanks to the fact she's managed to kill him on more than one occasion.

But who can forget such foes as Mr Hyde, the Cobra, and that lava man bloke? I can't remember what his name was; so, given Stan Lee's love of alliteration, I'll assume it was Larry the Lava Man.

Regardless of such well-informed musings, put forward your favourites and, in a couple of days from now, I'll put the poll up.

And at last the world can decide just who is Thor's greatest ever enemy.

Forty years ago today - February 1972.

2012-02-01T21:34:00.000Z

Hooray! It's February, named in honour of the Roman god Februlon who got his super-powers by...

...oh OK, I admit it, I've no idea who it's named after.

Not that it matters. All that matters is that this month forty years ago found our heroes still in the mood to give everyone a good kicking.

I think we all remember where we were when we first saw the Vision trying to beat a Skrull to death.

I certainly do.

I was reading an issue of The Avengers.

By an incredible coincidence the Vision was in it, trying to beat a Skrull to death.

With its venture into space and its tale of our heroes vs a Skrull armada, this issue was surely the highlight of Neal Adams' short stint on the strip.

It's the return of the foe no one ever seemed to want to see return, as Dr Spencer Smythe and his Spider-Slayer make yet another futile attempt to bump off Spidey.

Captain America's clearly on a mission against Hydra.

But who can that mystery man be?

My money's on either the Kingpin or the Red Skull.

Gil Kane gives us another of his determinedly 3D-style covers, as the man without fear bursts out of his own cover box

Is that Mr Kline who's doing the zapping?

I liked Mr Kline. He was up to no good.

I used to have a copy of this but owned it before I started collecting comics, and therefore only got to read it once or twice before it found its way to a rubbish tip. I still have fond memories of it though.

Am I right in remembering it as an attack on racial segregation and apartheid?

Jarella's back and causing all sorts of problems for our sun.

Thor's messing about fighting Kartag the Keeper while Mangog threatens Asgard itself.

Is this the one with the pharaoh type bloke in it?

If so, I first read it in an Alan Class comic.

If it's not, I don't have a clue what's going on.

Clothes Maketh the Man.

2012-01-30T19:33:00.000Z

As I roam the streets of Sheffield, people say to me, "Steve, with your trilby, string vest, purple loon-pants and Clarks Wayfinders, you're a man who knows how to dress well. Not only that but, with your Clarks Wayfinders on, you need never fear getting lost - nor not being able to identify small woodland creatures you encounter. But, if you had to walk around dressed as a super-hero, which one would it be?"

Well, I think I can safely say you should never ever wear anything Killraven would - unless you want to look like a 1970s' sci-fi porn star....

... and not in a good way.

But, on the issue of what one should wear? Well, I've always had a liking for boots that turn down at the top, in the style of Captain America and Conan.

Then again, I've always been fascinated by Batman's gloves with the bendy spikes sticking out of them.

Iron Man's armour'd make me feel safe from the threat of flying bullets and give me the impunity to become as totally evil as I seek to be. But I can't help feeling it must be a bit claustrophobic in there and, looking at that mask, he must only be able to see things that're directly in front of him.

There's no way I'd choose a cape, as that'd be ostentatious - and a threat to life and limb if I tried to use a revolving door whilst wearing one.

The Fantastic Four's togs always looked too much like overalls for my liking.

Let's face it, the Hulk's purple trousers aren't a costume. They're just purple trousers.

So, in the end, I think I'm going to have to go for The Flash's outfit. Not only does it have little wings on it and lightning bolts to signify the dynamism that's rightfully mine but it's also my favourite colour - red. On top of that, it cunningly conceals itself inside a ring.

Rings are indisputably a good thing. Just ask the Mandarin.

And that's why, if forced to spend the rest of my days in Spandex, it's the costume of The Flash that I shall be wearing.

Either that or Adam Warlock's.

But, Reader; what super-hero outfit would you wear if forced to?

Your favourite non-Conan-related warrior woman of all time - Poll Results!

2012-01-25T20:31:00.000Z

Thanks to events of the other day, we all know just who's the greatest Conan-related warrior woman of all time. But that still leaves us with one loose end that I'm sure's haunted us all our lives. Just who is the greatest non-Conan-related warrior woman of them all?

As you'd expect from such a battle-hungry bunch, it was a hard-fought poll - and much blood was no doubt spilled - but at last we have our answers.

Joint fifth, with one vote each, were Boudicca, Xena, River Tam, Elektra, Hu San-Niang, Red Fox, Raven and Mad Max 2's Warrior Woman.

Joint third, with two votes each, were Thundra and Dr Who's Leela.

Second, with three votes, was Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

But the runaway winner, with a mighty nine votes, was my own personal favourite, Marvel Comics' Valkyrie, proving that not always knowing who you are needs be no obstacle to seeing off your rivals.

So, well done to Babs and Samantha and the Enchantress and any other people she's managed to be over the years, thanks to everyone who voted, and commiserations to all those warriors who didn't quite make the grade.

Your favourite Conan-related warrior woman of all time - Poll Results!

2012-01-22T18:39:00.000Z

Reader, has this anonymous layabout been voted
greatest warrior woman of all time? Only Steve
Does Comics can tell you.

"Crom!" have I declared many times, in the heat of battle, "It ofttimes seems there are none the world loves more than a warrior woman."

And it seems I was right because the results are in from our poll to find your favourite Conan-related battling bombshell of all time and, with a massive twenty nine votes, it may well be the most popular poll we've ever run.

So, with no further ado, let's get on with it.

Joint fifth, with one vote each, are Zenobia and Zuma. Clearly if you want to ride high in the Warrior Woman Stakes, it doesn't pay to have a name beginning with Z.

In joint third, with four votes, are Valeria and Generic Cover Girl #1. It's a great triumph for Generic Cover Girl #1 - putting, as she has, all other generic cover girls well and truly in their place. But no doubt Robert E Howard's very own Valeria will be disappointed to do no better than a woman who doesn't even have a name.

In second place, with nine votes, was Red Sonja. Frankly, I wouldn't want to be around her when she finds out she didn't win.

But at Number One, to the surprise of no one but me, it's Bêlit who just pipped Sonja at the post by gaining a massive ten votes. I suspect that Bêlit probably can't count, so, in all likelihood, she'll probably never be aware of her achievement. On top of that, she's been dead for 10,000 years and probably doesn't even have an Internet Service Provider.

Regardless, well done to Bêlit, commiserations to all other fighting females, and thank you, loyal reader, for voting.

Who's your favourite non-Conan warrior woman?

2012-01-20T19:16:00.001Z

Mere days ago, I asked you for your favourite Conan-related warrior woman - and the poll that sprang from it's now up. However, some of you nominated warrior women who were not of the Conan canon.

In order to keep the poll simple and unconfused, I only added nominations to it that were from Conan's universe. But, because I don't want people to feel their other nominations went to waste, I'm going to launch another poll, dedicated to non-Conan battlers. Because even I have to admit sometimes that there's more to life than comics, the nominations can be from any art form and any genre - as long as it's not Conan.

As we all know, Britain has a proud tradition of warrior women. Who of us, in primary school, didn't thrill to tales of Queen Boudicca/Boadicea giving the Romans a good thrashing with her ninja skills and chain mail bikini? And, of course, we also have good old Britannia, ready to stab people with her trident at the drop of a hat.

But there're other warrior women too. Who can forget Xena - or her arch-enemy Callisto? There's Wonder Woman, She-Ra, that woman in Battle Beyond the Stars, Kate Bush in that video with the cello; and, no doubt, a thousand others I've neglected to mention.

Still, despite this, I'm inevitably going to nominate The Defenders' Valkyrie, as I like her hair.

But don't let this high level of thinking intimidate you. Feel free to nominate your own favourite.

Needless to say, in a couple of days from now, I'll gather together your nominations - and the left-over ones from the previous post - and put them in a poll.

And then, at last, the world can decided just who is the world's favourite warrior woman.

Fantastic Four #45. The Inhumans make their debut: Part 2!

2012-01-18T22:19:00.000Z

It's time to shake ourselves from our subterranean hideouts because I'm flinging myself head-first into part two of my favourite Fantastic Four tale of them all, as the FF finally get to meet the rest of the Inhumans.

Having survived the collapse of the building they were stood on at the end of last issue, our heroes manage to capture Dragon Man by the simple ploy of no longer trying to fight him, instead letting Sue use her feminine charms to keep him in line.

While the others try to work out what to do with the brute, the Torch goes for a walk, meets a mysterious girl called Crystal - who has superpowers - and is taken by her to an underground lair where he meets her family, who include Gorgon and Medusa.

Gorgon's none too pleased to see him and, with the aid of an Inhuman called Triton, tries to kill him but the Torch escapes and, signalled by him, the rest of the team descend on the site to deal with his would-be assassins.

But that's when the issue's great no-frills climax gives us the last-panel sight of a man known only as Black Bolt smashing through a brick wall to confront them. Now they're in for it!

Perhaps what's best about the issue is that, although it's packed with incident, including the resolution of last issue's cliffhanger, the scenes with Dragon Man, the introduction, one at a time, of the Inhumans, and even the first appearance of the group's flying motorbike, the tale doesn't neglect to fit in the all-important human drama, with the Thing ruminating woefully on how similar he is to Dragon Man, while the Torch fails to get a date with Dorrie Evans and suddenly finds himself someone new to lust after in the shape of Crystal.

The tale's still hopelessly confused and confusing in its portrayal of the Inhumans. It's still not clear whether they're good guys or bad guys, what their motives are or why Medusa - whose clearly now a prisoner of the others - was running from Gorgon.

It's interesting that, at this stage, it's still Medusa who seems most worried about the Torch's well-being while Crystal expresses no concern at all when the others try to kill him. Could it be that, even at this stage, the plan was for Medusa to become Johnny Storm's new love interest rather than her sister? That had certainly been hinted at the last time Medusa'd appeared as a member of the Frightful Four and it's questionable whether the plan had yet been changed.

Just as with last issue, the fact that none of its events make sense when subjected to any kind of scrutiny doesn't matter because the thing bowls along at a pace that stops you asking any awkward questions, and there're some nice subtle touches to the tale too, such as the way Jack Kirby blacks out the Torch's face at times in his early scenes with Crystal, in order to capture a sense of how threatening his presence is to her.

And how can you not love a comic that features the Invisible Girl tucking the sleeping Dragon Man into his bed?

Warrior Women - who's your favourite?

2012-01-16T20:29:00.000Z

First of all I'd like to say thanks to Pat of Silver Age Comics and Paul D Brazil of You Would Say That, Wouldn't You? for giving this site a plug on their own blogs - although Pat has libelled Booksteve terribly by making out he's to blame for this site. Paul currently has a short story crime anthology out, that he's edited, in aid of the Children 1st charity.

But that's the present. And, because I hang around with intellectuals, I know that any history professor'll tell you the past is a far more exciting place to be.

That professor'll no doubt reveal that the past was a world of muscle-men in loin cloths, monsters, demons and sorcerers. It was a land of helpless wenches, duplicitous princesses and narked-off witches.

It's also a world of warrior women.

That leads me onto today's topic of debate. I think we all love a good warrior woman but that raises the issue of just who was the best of Conan's various fighting females?

I was going to launch a poll straight off but quickly realised there'd no doubt be someone I'd missed off. And so I'll do my usual thing of throwing it out to you the reader to give your opinions before I launch that poll.

Off the top of my head, I can think of three main warrior women from the Conan-verse: Bêlit, Red Sonja and Valeria. Speaking personally, I was never a fan of Bêlit, finding her a bit annoying, especially in her insistence on being in issue after issue after issue. I also worried that all that fur had to itch. Plus she ended up dead in the original Robert E Howard tales, which was the kind of downer you don't really need from your heroines.

But when it comes to Valeria and Red Sonja I've always been genuinely torn. I encountered Red Sonja first but I've always suspected that, whatever the origins of her name, Roy Thomas based Red Sonja very strongly on Valeria. Valeria also gets brownie points for having been in Barry Smith's masterpiece Red Nails. Then again, The Sonj was in Bazzer's last story in the monthly Conan the Barbarian mag, which was pretty classic-tastic too. Valeria always seemed a bit more mentally stable to me than Sonja but, then again, I suspect Sonja'd flatten her in a fight.

Anyway, that's my thoughts on the matter. But what about you? Conan's warrior women - who's your favourite?

Fantastic Four #44. At last - The Inhumans!

2012-01-14T09:25:00.115Z

As I roam the deserted tenement blocks of Sheffield, that're earmarked for clearance, strange young women sitting on bits of rubble often ask me, "Steve, what's your favourite ever Fantastic Four story? Is it that one with Galactus, or that one where Dr Doom steals the Silver Surfer's powers?"

And I say, "No. It's the one where the FF first meet the Inhumans."

"Then you're like us!" They say. "Come with me to our underground lair where I can introduce you to my bizarre family and their paranoid ways!"

I say, "Thanks, luv, but I get enough of that at home."

That aside, it's all true. The first Inhumans story is indeed my favourite Fantastic Four tale of. And it all kicks off with the magnificent issue #44, surely as random and meaningless a comic as there's ever been.

Foolishly unexcited by Reed Richard's invention of the dishwasher, the Human Torch sets off in his sports car, looking for some action but gets more than he bargained for as he's hijacked by Medusa - still in her villainous phase.

Gun in hand, she forces him to help her flee a mysterious figure called Gorgon who likes kicking things. While the Torch and Medusa are chin-wagging, they bump into Dragon Man - freshly revived after his last appearance, and up for doing a King Kong with Medusa.

It all leads to a rooftop confrontation, involving the FF, Medusa, Gorgon and the Dragon Man, before Dragon Man abducts Sue, Gorgon abducts Medusa, and everyone else finds themselves trapped in a collapsing building.

There really is no rhyme or reason to this tale, it's carried along on a lunatic energy that sees ideas and actions flung into the pot for no purpose you can see. When Dragon Man suddenly appears by bursting out of the ground, you do wonder by what process this story was planned, and have to conclude it probably wasn't planned at all. Jack Kirby probably just made it up as he went along.

This feeling's especially strong if you've read later instalments. Given what we know about what happens in those, nothing that Medusa or Gorgon do or say in this issue makes any sense at all.

But who cares? What we're seeing is a strip approaching the peak of its creativity, one that means all sense and logic become irrelevant. It's pure escapism and it's great.

Dr Strange's all-time greatest foe - Poll Results!

2012-01-10T18:39:00.000Z

A wise man once said there's nothing in this life quite as magical as magic. He then went on to say there's nothing quite so circular as circles, and nothing quite so blue as blue. What a sage and a wit he was.

Reader, that sage was me. And that's why I took his advice and now make a point of arriving everywhere by hanging from a flying umbrella while trilling that a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.

But all this talk of magic can mean just one thing.

That it's time to announce the thrillsome-tastic results of our poll to discover just who is Dr Strange's greatest ever foe.

Many as the Moons of Munnopor were the votes, and many were the recipients:

Joint fifth, with one vote each, were Dracula and Nightmare.

Fourth, with three votes, was Baron Mordo.

Third, with four votes, was, "Marvel Editors."

Second, in what I see as a turn-up for the books, was Silver Dagger, with five votes.

But, to perhaps no one's surprise at all, the winner, with a walloping twelve votes, was that inflammable fiend of infamy the Dread Dormammu. So, congratulations to the master of the Dark Dimension, and let's hope his success doesn't go to his head.

As always, thanks to all who voted - and commiserations to all those villains who failed to make the grade.

Leaving the Circle.

2012-01-09T22:24:00.000Z

Holey Moley! Can it be that I actually have a hit on my hands?

Before I've even told anyone it exists, my latest story on Amazon's Kindle Store's already started selling!

How that happens, I don't have a clue, but thank God it does. Perhaps one day my dream of not having to fight off the local foxes to get all my meals from my neighbours' wheelie-bins can come true.

And there was me thinking my decision not to call it Nightmare Horror Citadel of Doom, Death Terror, Argh! might turn out to be a mistake.

Anyway, it's true. It's here, Leaving the Circle. It's 1934, and an entity from Other Realms discovers there might be more lurking beneath the snows of, "The Roof of the World," than first meets the eye. But, now it has that information, what's it going to do with it?

Leaving the Circle can be downloaded at the following places (and remember, you don't need a Kindle-machine-thingy to download it or any of my other legendary tales. It can be downloaded straight to your computer):
Amazon.com. Amazon UK, Amazon Germany, Amazon France, Amazon Italy, Amazon Spain.

Cover image credit: Fitz Roy 2 by Prissantenbar (Public Domain), fiddled-about-with a fair bit by me. Source: Wikimedia Commons.

Thanks for your time and tolerance ~ Steve.

Fifty years ago today - January 1962.

2012-01-07T20:53:00.000Z

It seems like only days ago I was blathering on about it being 1972. And now here I am claiming it's 1962. Clearly a new and strange madness has claimed me.

Fortunately, it's a madness that means I now have a chance to see what our favourite Marvel heroes were up to exactly fifty years ago.

The answer is, "not much," as most of them were still no more than a gleam in the eye of the various people who claim to have created them. But, even that long ago, there were two Marvel comics that brought us the antics of super-powered cavortionists.

It's always seemed a strange cover to me. That window's far too close to the floor. Why's there no furniture? And why does that house have twenty foot high bright yellow walls? But who cares about that? What matters is that Fantastic Four #2 gives us all the Skrulls we could ever need, in the first FF tale I ever read.

Isn't this the story where Reed Richards defeats the would-be invaders by convincing them that comic book panels are photos of real-life monsters that inhabit the Earth - basically using the conceit that, to comic book characters, drawings look like photos? Why, it's positively metafictional before the word was even coined.

It's easy to forget that Marvel's second Silver Age venture into the realms of super-hero-dom featured not the Hulk nor Thor but the mighty Ant-Man.

Of course he wasn't called Ant-Man in that debut tale and had yet to get his costume, let alone the wondrous Wasp but, still, already Henry Pym had gained the power to shrink and be menaced by things that were no kind of threat to anyone else.

I'm sure, from what I can remember, that, at the end of the tale, he vows never again to meddle with such things that man was never meant to meddle with. Oh, Henry Pym, if only you'd known...

Incredible Hulk #2 - the Terrible Toad Men!

2012-01-05T21:07:00.000Z

As I roam the streets of Sheffield, people often say to me, "Steve, why are you roaming the streets of Sheffield with giant magnets strapped to the sides of your head?"

And I say, "Poltroon! Know you not that magnets are the mightiest weapon known to man? Why, if I had just one more fridge magnet glued to my forehead, humanity itself would face extinction."

And it's true!

If you don't believe me, just take a look at Incredible Hulk #2, in which the treacherous Toad Men from somewhere or other decide to use their mastery of magnetism to invade the Earth.

As they explain, with their magnets they can suck the water from the oceans and make people's feet stick to the pavement. Who ever thought feet and water could be so magnetic?

But that's not the only trick because, ignoring the fact that the moon has no magnetic core, with their magnets they have the power to yank it out of Earth's orbit. Clearly they get their laws of magnetism from the same place as Magneto.

I must make a confession. This is the first Hulk story I ever read, way back in the pages of Mighty World of Marvel #4. In fact I only read the second half at that time, as I'd missed the first three issues, but just one glance at the opening image - Bruce Banner stood in the wreckage of a crashed alien spaceship - was enough to hook me. I didn't care that the Toad Men were silly villains. Let's face it, the Skrulls - also in that issue - were even sillier and that didn't stop them becoming arguably Marvel's main alien menace to humanity over the years.

Revelations about the unexpected power of magnetism aside, the thing that's always stood out for me about this tale is it's drawn by Marvel's two defining Silver Age artists, Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko, and I've always loved the combination on this tale, with Ditko laying his moodier style over Kirby's dynamism.

Still, the problems of the early Hulk comics leap out at you. The first being that the Hulk's a bad guy and as much a threat to humanity as the Toad Men. He at one point muses on the possibility of using the Toad Men's weapons to destroy all mankind. Then, that plan scuppered, he sets out to kill Betty Ross and Rick Jones. It's only him turning back to Bruce Banner as the sun comes up that stops him.

That transformation highlights the other problem the strip had; the fact that Bruce Banner only used to change into the Hulk when it was dark. On paper it seems a great idea, adding a sense of nocturnal menace and tragedy to the proceedings but it proves to be an unwieldy conceit that manages to make the Hulk ultimately irrelevant to the tale, as he plays no part at all in the Toad Men's demise. There's also the fact that, once the Hulk's irrelevant rampagings are over, there's only space left in the mag for Bruce Banner to defeat the Toad Men with ridiculous ease.

But perhaps what most strikes you is that the whole story feels like a B movie, combining 1950s alien invasion flicks with The Wolfman and Frankenstein.

This probably all makes the story sound terrible and, in theory, it possibly is. But, one, it was the first Hulk story I ever read, so I'm bound to have a fondness for it and, two, I'm a fan of 1950s invasion flicks and Universal horror movies, so its mood is always going to appeal to me.

In the end, I don't suppose anyone reading it'd be shocked to be told the title was cancelled within a few issues of this one but it has a charm to it that those of us who love the corny and hoary can't resist and it is oddly enjoyable to speculate just how the comic would've developed had the early concept of the Hulk never been ditched.

Dr Strange's all time greatest foe.

2012-01-03T17:38:00.000Z

By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth and the Flipping Fiends of Fomething-or-other. Our dauntless quest to find the greatest super-villain of them all brings us to that magical master of mystery Dr Strange.

As we all know, the good doctor once had a battle with the bottle but then went on to face even deadlier foes. There was the Dread Dormammu, the Naughty Nightmare, Bothersome Baron Mordo, the Fiddlesticky Faceless Ones, the Sinister Satannish, Umar the Unspeakable and those two hypnotised blokes who beat him up in that Steve Ditko story where he teamed up with Spider-Man.

Those two blokes aside, it's fair to say that, thanks to their mystical bent, most of Dr Strange's foes have been a little more stylish than the run-of-the-mill villain. So, of all the foes Dr Strange has ever come up against, who's been your favourite?

Personally, I've always had a soft spot for Nightmare, possibly because he was the first Dr Strange villain I ever encountered, but also because I too have been known to have had the odd nightmare in my time and can therefore claim that Nightmare is the only foe of any super-hero that I've ever encountered. Needless to say, my mastery of the Eye of Agamotto has kept me safe every time.

But, in the end, it's not my opinion that counts. It's yours. So, give me your favourites and, as always, in a couple of days from now I'll put them in a poll - and at last the world can answer the question; "Just who is Dr Strange's greatest ever foe?"

Forty years ago today - January 1972.

2012-01-01T19:25:00.000Z

Suffering Shad! No sooner have I finally learned to write "2011" on things, than I've suddenly got to start writing "2012" on them instead. How can I possibly get round such a startling circumstance?

Simple.

I'll just write "1972" on everything from now on. That way I'll never be out of date.

1972 was a big year for me. It was the year I started reading American comics and it was the year Mighty World of Marvel hit the newsagents of this sceptred isle. Does all this specialness mean a change in circumstance for our Marvel heroes as they enter 1972, leading to an era of peace and goodwill to all?

Somehow I have a suspicion it doesn't.

Writer Roy Thomas is still on his King Kong trip as Spidey and Ka-Zar tangle with Kraven the Hunter and Gog the space monster.

The Fantastic Four find themselves up against not only Steve Does Comics favourite - Diablo - but also their old team-mate Crystal.

On top of that, the Thing gets to visit another version of Earth, where he finds revoltin' developments haven't been quite the same as they are round our way.

The Kree/Skrull War rumbles on as Neal Adams and Roy Thomas drag the Inhumans into it.

I think this is the one where we get to see how Maximus went mad.

Captain America comes up against Hydra and it doesn't seem to be a happy new year for Sharon Carter who looks like she's out to keep up with Lady Dorma and beat Gwen Stacy to an early grave.

Women. They can be so competitive!

It's unlucky for some, as Conan the Barbarian #13 sees the Cimmerian Clobberer up against a Spider-God.

Spider-God, Spider-God, does whatever a spider... er...

It's that rarity, a Daredevil story from this era that I actually remember.

If I'm right, poor old Natasha's, accused of bumping off some super-villain or other. Was it the Scorpion or Mr Hyde or was it both?

Whatever the truth of the matter, I suspect that, as so often in my own life, exploding robots might've been involved.

The Hulk thwarts the Leader's Invasion of the Body Snatchers plot.

I think this is the one with the back-up tale where the Hulk finds himself in a town that's just a mirage, and thus proves a Hulk story can be great without him doing any smashing.

I do sometimes wonder if I should just pretend Iron Man doesn't exist, as he has yet another issue I recall not one thing about.

That aside, I do love the way Gil Kane's drawn Iron Man on the cover.

Like a much-pressed moderator on the Asgard Forum, Thor's still having trouble with the trolls.

My razor sharp wits tell me he's about to launch into that epic quest to find the Well at the Edge of the World.

Verily, I love this era of Thor.

Your favourite cover of all time. The Results.

2011-12-28T18:53:00.000Z

There are times when you wonder if the Internet can possibly take the strain.

And this is one of them.

Mere days ago, I asked you to name your favourite comic book covers of all time. And you gave me your answers! So, without further ado, here is what you came up with:

Fantastic Four #72. Jack Kirby.
The Silver Surfer shows his peaceful intent by randomly zapping the Earth.
Wasn't this used as the cover for issue #1 of Marvel UK's Super-Heroes comic?
Nominated by Ronnie Poore.

Action Comics #402. Neal Adams.

This is one of the very first comics I ever bought. I'm glad I did. After all, there was a lot at stake.

Nominated by cerebus660.

Action Comics #406. Curt Swan.

Superman loses his head in a crisis.

Nominated by cerebus660.

Adventure Comics #336. Curt Swan.

At last we find out who Starfinger is. I wonder if it's Clark Kent? I've never trusted that boy. I always felt he was hiding something.

Nominated by Stevenw888 (no relation).

Amazing Spider-Man #50. John Romita.

Spidey turns his back on a life of crime-fighting. Personally, I have a feeling it won't last long.

Nominated by cerebus660.

Amazing Spider-Man #59. John Romita.
Mary Jane Watson's first ever cover - and she's determined to make the most of it.
Nominated by cerebus660.

Conan the Barbarian #24. Barry Smith.

Barry Smith might bow out with this issue but Red Sonja certainly doesn't.

Nominated by cerebus660.

Defenders #16. Gil Kane.

The Defenders vs Magneto and his chums. Clearly, things are in the balance.

Nominated by Ade Salmon.

Fantastic Four #1. Jack Kirby.

Each of the FF gets to demonstrate his/her powers on their debut cover.

Nominated by cerebus660.

Fantastic Four #4. Jack Kirby.

The Sub-Mariner makes his Silver Age return and tries to make off with the Invisible Girl. The Invisible Girl? Personally I don't know what he sees in her. Or have I made that joke before?

Nominated by cerebus660.

Fantastic Four #46. Jack Kirby.
When Black Bolt waves his arms around, you know he means business.

Nominated by cerebus660.

Fantastic Four #51. Jack Kirby.
When Reed Richards starts to get sucked into the Negative Zone, Sue Richards shows her value to the team by just standing there asking the Thing to save him, instead of using her force field to do it herself. No wonder they replaced her with Medusa. Medusa would've saved him.

Nominated by both cerebus660 and Ade Salmon.

Fantastic Four #52. Jack Kirby.

The Black Panther makes his debut.

Nominated by cerebus660.

Fantastic Four #106. John Romita.
Is there any hope for our heroes?

Nominated by cerebus660.

Fantastic Four #5. Jack Kirby.

Dr Doom makes his debut and instantly wrecks the atmosphere.

Nominated by cerebus660.

House of Mystery #195. Bernie Wrightson.
"Bat Out of Hell!" And not a Meatloaf in sight.

Nominated by cerebus660.

Luke Cage, Hero for Hire #15. Billy Graham.

Nominated by Ade Salmon.

Superman #233. Neal Adams.

Anything Luke Cage can do, Superman can do better.

Nominated by McScotty.

Superman #252. Neal Adams.
I'm totally showing my ignorance here but just who is that man with the bare chest and blue cape?
Then again, who's the man with the flying skis?

Nominated by McScotty.

Swamp Thing #4. Bernie Wrightson.

Nominated by Ade Salmon.

Teen Titans #16. Nick Cardy.
A genuinely wonderful composition from DC's cover maestro.

Nominated by McScotty.

Teen Titans #26. Nick Cardy.

Nominated by McScotty.

Thanks to everyone who took part.

Daredevil's greatest ever foe - Poll Results!

2011-12-26T18:14:00.000Z

As Noddy Holder once so famously declared, "It's Chri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-istmas!" - and that's always an exciting time of year.

But it's just got even more exciting, as the results are in from our sensational poll to discover just who is Daredevil's greatest ever enemy.

There was a wide spread of voting but a surprisingly clear winner.

In joint sixth place, with one vote each, we find Mr Fear, Stilt-Man and the Mandrill.

In joint fourth, with two votes each, we find the bovine-tastic duo of Man-Bull and Bullseye.

In joint second, with three votes each, we find the Kingpin and Death-Stalker

But the winner, with a massive six votes, is the Gladiator, a man who, despite being able to give you a close shave any time he wants, won through by much more than a close shave.

So, congratulations to the Gladiator - even though he doesn't really exist and therefore can't read this message to him - and thanks to all who voted, including myself because it's Christmas and I think one should always take the time at Christmas to appreciate one's self.

Merry Christmas to you, the Reader. And here's looking forward to our no doubt equally thrilling gallery of our all-time favourite covers, which is due to be posted in the next couple of days. It's still not too late to nominate one if you haven't done so already.

Your favourite cover of all time.

2011-12-22T19:24:00.000Z

ABC front-man Martin Fry once said you should never judge a book by its cover - or the look by the lover. Then again he also said that when Smokey sings, he hears violins. But we all know a good cover can drastically affect the level of fondness we have for a comic.

In a couple of earlier posts [1][2], I gave some examples of my favourite covers of all time, and it'll possibly come as no surprise to the sharp-eyed that my all-time favourite's probably Jim Aparo's for (Weird) Adventure Comics #436. The thing's plain beautiful and proves the Hulk is right, and green and purple really can mix.

But even I realise the Internet's not just about me. So, what's your favourite comic book cover of all time?

In a few days' from now, when everyone's had the chance to nominate their favourites, I'll post them on here and, wearing my awesome Steve Does Art Appreciation hat, I'll have a see what I think of them, and invite the comments of you, the cognoscentus* that is the Steve Does Comics Reader.

*Warning! "Cognoscentus" may not be a real word, and Steve Does Comics cannot be held responsible for any humiliation you may suffer if you try to use it in educated company.

Who is Daredevil's greatest ever foe?

2011-12-19T18:27:00.000Z

Steve Does Comics' endless quest to find the greatest super-villain of them all moves on, as its ghastly gaze settles on the man they call Horn Head.

Clearly, when it comes to villains, Daredevil's always had a blatant problem.

He doesn't really have any super-powers.

It's true he has heightened senses but, for the most part they've barely done more than compensate for him being blind. This has often meant the quality of foe he can be pitted against hasn't always been up to that of Marvel's other crime-fighters, and the man without fear's often found himself in two, or even three, part epics trying to overcome foes Spider-Man could defeat in a single panel.

Sometimes this weakness has become an asset. Daredevil #7, where he found himself getting flattened for page after page by the Sub-Mariner, made his physical feebleness into a selling point, demonstrating his never-say-die spirit in the face of hopeless odds. It's easy to be heroic when you're Superman. It's a whole lot more impressive when you're just some bloke.

However, despite all this, Daredevil still managed to acquire a villain's gallery of his own. Among others, the comic gave us the Owl, Stilt-Man, the Jester, Man-Bull and Mr Fear. Later on, the Kingpin was drafted in from The Amazing Spider-Man, and, of course, the strip eventually gave us a Bullseye deadlier than Jim Bowen could ever have envisaged.

Personally I've always had a soft spot for the Gladiator - mostly for the basic nastiness of his weaponry. But ultimately, when it comes to my favourite, I think I have to go for Death-Stalker. This is probably down to my long-standing desire to be the Shadow and run around in a big hat, laughing for no reason.

But of course, what I think doesn't matter. What matters is what you think. So, nominate your favourite Daredevil villain and, as always, in a couple of days' time I'll construct a poll from your nominations.

Then at last the world shall decide just who is Daredevil's greatest ever foe.

Captain America #110.

2011-12-17T19:20:00.000Z

As we all know, within the last few days, comics legend Joe Simon has died. I would write a glowing tribute but my knowledge of his life and work is probably too limited for me to get away with it. I will say though that it's always a sad day when a comics great dies, especially as - even though their creations are frequently household names - the creators themselves have often lived their lives completely unknown by the general public.

It does however give me an excuse to look at his most famous creation - Captain America - and take a look at one of that strip's most celebrated phases, the short period when it was drawn by Jim Steranko.

I have to admit I've not always been sold on Steranko's work, sometimes finding it too like an exercise in graphic design rather than heart-felt story-telling but even I have the taste to have always appreciated his stint on Captain America. And issue #110 was where it started.

It's a significant issue for other reasons too because this is the tale in which Rick Jones officially becomes Captain America's sidekick and gets to run around dressed as Bucky. Luckily we're spared the horror of him being referred to as "Ricky" but not the necro-something-or-other of seeing him dressed as his 1940s' predecessor.

It all starts when Steve Rogers is roaming the city at night, minding his own business, when none other than the incredible Hulk smashes through a brick wall. During Cap's tangling with the monster, Rick Jones shows up, gets injured and - unconscious - has to be taken back to Cap's flat. Once recovered, Rick declares he wants to take Bucky's place, and goes with our hero on his next mission, a subterranean battle with Hydra who're out to contaminate the city's water supply. Needless to say Cap sees off this threat to New York - and a new partnership is born.

What leaps out at you about this issue is what a complete and total weener Rick Jones is - and, frankly, what a nut-job. Upon waking in a strange apartment, his first reaction to seeing a dead crime-fighter's costume is to put it on and parade around in it in front of that dead man's guilt-stricken ex-partner. Not only is this presumptuous but plain weird. Who upon finding a dead man's clothing feels compelled to put it on? He then whines and grizzles his way though the rest of the tale, managing to mess up everything Captain America does, and leaving you wondering why Cap doesn't just smack him in the mouth like he's asking for.

Cutting a far more impressive figure is villain-of-the-piece Madame Hydra, who shares the Valkyrie's love of having her hair hanging over one eye. Unlike the Valkyrie, she also has a taste for carrying whips and wearing skin-tight green leather which I suspect can never be a bad thing in a woman. From what's said in the story, it appears to be her first-ever appearance and she certainly makes her début in style.

But if Rick Jones and Madame Hydra are the characters who drive the tale, overall it's dominated by Jim Steranko and his work. Aided by Joe Sinnott's clean inking, it's a beautiful thing to look at. But, also, Steranko's determinedly stylish layouts lend the story an atmosphere that, for some reason, brings to my mind the classic 1950s' sci-fi flick Invaders From Mars. Not because there's any similarity in either the look or content of the thing but because it shares the strangely surreal air of that movie. It seems odd to speak of sound when reviewing a story told in purely visual terms but there's a strange silence to Steranko's work, that lends a sterilising and haunting feel to things, almost as though what we're reading is some twenty page dream that Captain America's going through.

Perhaps a sign of how much Steranko's thinking's dominated by style rather than story is that, when we first meet Cap in the back alley, he's lighting a cigarette and having a smoke. It makes no sense at all in terms of character. Does the most physically perfect specimen of manhood, whose body is a presumably a well-honed temple, really smoke?

Of course he shouldn't and of course he doesn't but it looks stylish, so it gets used. Such liberties with the basic nature of a character should be unforgivable but the story's surreal air allows Steranko to get away with it, thanks to the feeling that we're seeing some sort of alternate version of Captain America to the one we're used to.

Desert Island Comics.

2011-12-14T20:16:00.000Z

British readers will no doubt be familiar with the national institution that is Desert Island Discs, which the Internet tells me is the world's second longest-running radio show. But, for those not in the know, each week a well-known guest's invited in to talk about their life and choose eight songs they'd most like to have with them if stranded on a desert island.

Well, I'm not going to talk about my life here. I fear such Lovecraftian terror would chill the soul of even the hardiest explorer in the land of Blog. I am however going to risk choosing eight comics I'd want to have with me if the world finally sees sense and banishes me to a desert island.

Given the zillions of comics that've been published over the last century, this is no easy task but that's not going to stop me trying.

Origins of Marvel Comics.

I know it gets stick because of Stan Lee's tendency to fill it with anecdotes about how he single-handedly thought of everything while the likes of Jack Kirby could only sit and gawp, in no-doubt slack-jawed awe, at his limitless creativity but I don't care. The thing features the first appearances of the first round of Marvel's Silver Age heroes - and even flings in samples of their later appearances too.

Not only that but, unlike the Essentials, it's all in colour.

Spider-Man Comics Weekly #1.

I never had Mighty World of Marvel #1 but I did have Spidey's equivalent Marvel UK issue - and the free red paper bag that tried to pass itself off as a Spider-Man mask.

I have no memory whatsoever of what the Spider-Man story was in that fateful issue but I know it introduced us to Thor and the Stone Men from Saturn, so that's good enough for me.

Not only that but it revealed at last the startling secret of FOOM!

Conan the Barbarian #24.

Barry Smith's last issue, as Conan and Red Sonja decide to go stealing things that aren't rightfully theirs.

I first read this in Marvel UK's weekly Avengers comic, which meant I got to see it reproduced on a larger scale than the original. Having read a reprint in the Essential Conan, I know Smith's detailed art suffers when seen on the smaller page but that can't take away from the lusciousness of it all.

Marvel's Greatest Comics #34.

A comic that certainly lived up to its title for me, as the mag reprints the Fantastic Four's first ever meeting with the Inhumans. It's still arguably my favourite Fantastic Four story of them all, even though it doesn't make much sense.

And dig that Gil Kane cover. He's doing that visual depth thing again.

X-Men #137.

While the original X-Men never appealed to me at all - even when drawn by the likes of Steranko and Adams - there's a whole bucket-load of tales to treasure from the Dave Cockrum/John Byrne era.

Personally I preferred the Cockrum run to Byrne's, as his art was less cartoony, but the Byrne stuff was all pretty fab too.

For my favourite, I have to choose the one where poor old Phoenix, having turned evil, gets to pop her clogs, by order of Jim Shooter.

Of course, some might argue the whole thing was made redundant by Marvel later bringing Jean Grey back to life in typically unlikely fashion, but I still remember how great it was at the time.

Marvel Spotlight #12.

I don't have a clue just what it is about the Son of Satan's first appearance that grabs me so much. Maybe it's just because I'm a corny old horror fan or maybe it's just the melodrama of Herb Trimpe's tortured-looking pencils but it still has a strange allure for me after all these years.

The Mighty Thor #130.

Thor and Hercules team up to take on Pluto and the hordes of Hades. What more needs be said? It's all epic stuff and I love Vince Colletta's inks on the title.

Silver Surfer #3.

I can't deny I've never been a Surfer fan - all that hanging around whingeing and whining about everything - but I love this tale.

My Satan fixation's clearly taking me over again, as the Surfer finds himself tackling the Devil while doing his usual pining for Shalla Bal.

Mephisto's a cut above the usual super-villain, and what kind of madman could fail to be grabbed by John Buscema's art on this issue?

Iron Man's greatest ever enemy - Poll Results!

2011-12-12T20:47:00.000Z

It's time to plug your metal chest plate into the mains, hit the bottle and don a cravat because the results are in for our poll to find Iron Man's greatest ever foe.

Perhaps it comes as no shock that the winner - with a walloping 46% of the votes - was none other than the man with more rings than a nine-year-old sycamore; the Mandarin. The man they call Mandy picked up seven votes.

Second, with three votes, was a surprise to me. It's Man Bull, who, back in the days when I used to read Iron Man, was nowhere in sight. He was always too busy beating up Daredevil.

Third was that perennial wrong-doer Jack Daniels, with two votes.

Joint fourth were Titanium Man, Limited Battery Life and Dr Doom, with one vote each.

Sadly, Hypno-Robo-Neanderthal failed to register a single vote. He wuz robbed I tells ya. Robbed. And if he hadn't exploded, I've no doubt he'd say so too.

Fatal Inheritance. Bunging up the Plug Hole.

2011-12-10T18:41:00.001Z

With my recently plugged short stories doing so well that they're actually matching sales of my hot cakes step-for-step, it's the perfect time to announce I now have a full-blown novel on Kindle.

In Fatal Inheritance, when her flatmate is left a house that brings death to all who own it, occult investigator Liz Sanford goes into action.

Can she find out what deadly secret the house contains?

And, if she does, can she stay alive long enough to celebrate that success?

Personally I think it'd make the ideal Christmas present.

That is of course assuming you know someone who likes spending their Christmases reading about people being killed by the forces of evil.

I know I do.

That's why I'll be reading Fatal Inheritance.

Actually I won't. I've already read it, so I'll be watching Mary Poppins.

But don't let that put you off.

The might and majesty of Fatal Inheritance can be downloaded at the following places:
Amazon US Amazon UK Amazon Germany Amazon France Amazon Italy Amazon Spain.

Thank you for your time. And please don't forget to vote for Iron Man's greatest ever foe.

Fantastic Four #7. Kurrgo and Planet X.

2011-12-09T19:19:00.000Z

Fasten up your seat belts, check your oxygen tank and hit that booster because it's time to dip once more into the 1972 Fleetway Marvel Annual, for the Fantastic Four's big day out in Space.

Confronted with the inevitable destruction of his world at the hands of a stray asteroid, Planet X's ruler, the beach-ball headed Kurrgo sends his own personal robot to Earth to turn mankind against the Fantastic Four so they'll consent to flee to Planet X where Kurrgo hopes Mr Fantastic'll be able to concoct a plan to save his world.

When they get there, Reed Richards, being Reed Richards, takes just hours to invent a potion to shrink the entire population of Planet X, so it can climb aboard the planet's only spare space ship and flee.

As they flee, Kurrgo - refusing to leave behind the potion that'll make him full-size again and thus leave him dwarfing his fellow X-ians - is left behind to die, a victim of his own megalomania.

One of the things that always strikes me about Marvel stories from this era is just how long they seem. For years I labelled under the misapprehension that this and the annual's other tales were much longer than later outings, but a quick check tells me it's only 22 pages long. So much does it cram in.

I complained in a recent post that Jack Kirby seemed to be basing his later Fantastic Four tales on whatever he'd seen most recently on TV - but clearly there was nothing new about that because, with its giant robot and its abducting of our heroes to a doomed world, it's pretty obvious this tale's inspired by the 1950s movies The Day the Earth Stood Still and This Island Earth. And it's great, filled with splash pages and divided into chapters, just to really add to that feeling of a 12 cent epic.

Kirby's depiction of Planet X - and its destruction - are great too. But I also love the earlier scenes on Earth, covering the FF's discomfort at having to attend an official dinner in their honour, and the squabbling and bickering that precede it. It's easy to see in these scenes the reason for Marvel's 1960s' success. Can you really imagine Batman, Superman and the Flash of this era fighting amongst themselves about having to attend a dinner engagement? Marvel's heroes simply had a life and a character that DC's more socially adept stars couldn't match.

Of course, in the end, it's a very silly tale. The idea that a super-advanced civilisation needs the scientific know-how of an Earth-man to solve their problem - and the idea that Reed Richards can knock up a shrinking potion in a few hours - is ludicrous. But then silliness is half the fun of a Silver Age comic book. And, if you don't want fun, why are you reading about people in spandex?

Lies! Lies! Buy your cheap lies here!

2011-12-07T21:25:00.002Z

While the world queues up to nominate its favourite Iron Man villains, I might as well take this lull in blogging proceedings to shamelessly plug my alternative ventures.

As you may know, in the past I've been known to dabble in fiction. My novels Danny Yates Must Die and Mr Landen has no Brain (HarperCollins/Voyager) are still spoken of in hushed whispers wherever people have laryngitis. Likewise, my short stories were once scattered around genre periodicals, like chaff.

Years ago, however, I gave up the lure of lying for a living, to concentrate on telling the unvarnished truth in blogs like this one.

But a man can only resist making things up for a limited spell, and now I'm back in the making-things-up department, with three short stories available for download on Amazon's Kindle Store. At last I know how Stan Lee and Jack Kirby felt all those decades ago when they started a shocking new era in publishing by launching issue #1 of the Fantastic Four on the world.

Not only do these stories have words in them but they're as cheap as the bloke who wrote them. Who says this isn't the Steve Age of Bargains?

First published in the award-winning The 3rd Alternative magazine, the dark fantasy Waiting for the Wireman in 1974 discovers just what two children might get up to on a dark October night when the scarecrow fails to scare and there's a storm a-brewing.

Available for download at:
Amazon US. Amazon UK. Amazon Germany. Amazon France. Amazon Italy. Amazon Spain.

Carrying sees a "woman" known only as the Relentless Heliotrope stumble across a mystery on the thirteenth floor of a building that's only meant to have twelve.

Just why has the man she finds there been sat alone for so long?

Why has his expected visitor never arrived?

And what is the secret of the shoebox he's meant to have delivered all those years ago?

Available for download at:
Amazon US. Amazon UK. Amazon Germany. Amazon France. Amazon Italy. Amazon Spain.

In a lighter vein altogether, a complimentary sausage and her boss's incompetence plunge occult investigator Liz Sanford into an unlikely mystery involving a big night out, her self-declared arch-enemy, and a cabinet minister.

Just who is behind the least likely award nomination of all time?

Will Liz Sanford finally get to use that coffin with her name on it?

And who is that woman in the cupboard?

Available for download at:

Amazon US. Amazon UK. Amazon Germany. Amazon France. Amazon Italy. Amazon Spain.

Thank you for your time - Steve.

Cover image credits:
Carrying:
Self-Portrait by Moonlight by Alessandro Zangrilli (self-made for wiki) [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
&
Moon at its Fullest a Few Minutes Before the Lunar Eclipse of 20 Feb 2008 by Thom Rains [CC-BY-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Waiting for the Wireman in 1974:
Noche de luna llena by Luz A. Villa from Medellin, Colombia (Noche de luna llena - Full moon night) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

The Weakest Link:
by moi.

Iron Man's greatest ever enemy.

2011-12-06T19:13:00.001Z

"Iron Man! Iron Man! Does whatever an iron can!"

Now you know why they don't let me write super-heroes' theme tunes.

Still, if this blog takes musical and lyrical incompetence to a level never before seen, that doesn't stop it having an opinion on matters more pictorial.

And that means it's time for Steve Does Comics to tackle the burning question; "Who's Iron Man's greatest ever foe?"

Despite being one of Marvel's most powerful heroes, Iron Man had a surprisingly modest start to his crime-fighting career, coming up against the likes of the Scarecrow, the Red Barbarian and of course the never-to-be-forgotten Mr Doll.

Personally, of these early foes, I always had a soft spot for his first ever super-powered opponent, Hypno-Robo-Neanderthal.

Sadly, after that one classic appearance, Hypno-Robo-Neanderthal never again returned to threaten the world - possibly because of his fatal vulnerability to fridge magnets.

Later, however, Iron Man did start to meet foes that even magnets couldn't stop, as he came up against the likes of Titanium Man, the Crimson Dynamo and the Mandarin.

And of course, technically, Thanos is an Iron Man villain; as rock-face made his first appearance in the pages of that self-same title.

So, who is your favourite ever Iron Man villain? As always, after a couple of days. I'll put your nominations into a poll and at last the world shall decide, just who is Iron Man's greatest ever foe.

Marvel's heroes. On the wall. Off the wall.

2011-12-03T18:43:00.000Z

I've bemoaned in the past my lack of childhood super-hero wall stickers but, thankfully, stickers aren't the only things we can stick to our walls.

We can also stick posters to them.

The truth is that, somehow, despite my voracious comic-reading habits, as a child I only ever had two comics-related posters on my bedroom wall.

One was the one that came with Marvel UK's Planet of the Apes #1, and the other was the John Buscema poster that came with the first issue of The Titans. I'm proud to say I still have both those posters.

There were, however, another set of posters that always impressed me greatly.

And those were the six that frequently appeared on the back of Marvel UK's weekly comics in the early to mid-1970s. I can't remember ever seeing them advertised in the American comics and, therefore, what the story was behind them, I have no idea.

All I know is they were things of beauty, with a level of anatomical accuracy not always found in super-hero figures, suggesting that real-life models may have been used.

Who painted them?

I don't know.

The Hulk's face has a touch of the John Romita about it. The Thor figure's lean build, and pose, looks to be in the Neal Adams envelope - although I'm not convinced the painting style is. The mad thing is that, despite their obvious desirability to any true lover of the radiation affected, I never nagged my dad into buying them for me, even though we could have had the lot for a mere 90 pence.

Then again, for all I know, taking inflation into account, 90 pence could probably have bought you a semi-detached house in the middle of London back then.

Still, if I missed out on such treasures, at least I have my Titans and Planet of the Apes posters to keep me warm at night.

40 years ago today. December 1971.

2011-12-01T22:14:00.000Z

Roy Wood once declared, "I wish It Could be Christmas Every Day," John Lennon told us, "War is Over, if you want it," and Kate Bush said, "December Will Be Magic Again," but does the Festive Season of 1971 see our heroes in the mood to kiss and make up with their old foes? Or does it just see them eager to get on with Boxing Day - with the emphasis on the "boxing"?

Roy Wood might want it to be Christmas every day but Roy Thomas clearly wants it to be King Kong every day as he sends Spider-Man off to the Savage Land to fight Gog, a giant alien who's been adopted by Kraven.

It's never been one of my favourite Spidey tales, being too far removed from the web-spinner's natural milieu, but you have to dig that Gil Kane cover. If that wouldn't make you want to buy the comic, what would?

Neal Adams' Kree/Skrull War rumbles ever onwards as the Avengers find themselves up against the Mandroids.

I believe it may be in this issue where Iron Man suddenly remembers he has roller skates, and we all discover that anyone can enter the Avengers Mansion any time they like, just by climbing up out of a man-hole.

Can it be true? Can Captain America and the Falcon really have broken up?

More importantly, can there really be a group of people who thought it was a good idea to call themselves "Femme Force"?

We might associate early Conan tales with Barry Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Smith but the cover of issue #12 shows just what Gil Kane can do when let loose on barbaric derring-doings.

It's Gil Kane again.

I love this cover. How great is the Scorpion on it? The thing that strikes me about all of Kane's covers this month is how stylishly he creates a sense of 3-Dimensionality with his compositional sense.

Given that, on his first appearance, the Scorpion nearly killed Spider-Man with his bare fists, I assume the Man Without Fear'll be the Man Without A Pulse by the end of the tale.

It's the return of one of my favourite villains of all time, as Diablo shows his class by taking over a Latin American country and getting Crystal to run around with not many clothes on.

It's the first part of that story where the Leader decides to replace politicians with evil robots that're up to no good.

No wonder no one could spot the difference.

Despite her supposedly being a fearsome warrior woman, Sif proves, as always, a total wimp, as Thor has to intervene to stop her meekly marrying Loki.

Get a backbone, woman!

It's the man called El Tigre!

I don't have a clue who El Tigre is. Frankly I don't have a clue who three of the seven people on this cover are. I also don't know where Marvel Girl is.

The X-Men's greatest ever foe! Poll Results!

2011-11-29T19:17:00.001Z

It might soon be X-mas but there's a whole heap more X-citement in store for us than that, as the results are finally in from our poll to find the all-time greatest X-Men villain.

I'd like to say it was a close-run thing but the truth is that, to possibly no one's surprise at all, one candidate ran away with it.

Thirteen might be unlucky for some...

...but not for Magneto who came out on top with a mammoth total of exactly that many votes.

Second were the Hellfire Club with four votes.

Joint third were the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, Dark Phoenix and the mighty Juggernaut, with two votes apiece.

Joint sixth were Apocalypse and Mr Sinister who scraped together one vote each.

Everyone else got no votes - which is no doubt a comfort to the Toad who can now feel he can look the likes of Deathbird in the eyes as an equal.

So, it's well done to Magnus, or Erik or whatever his real name's supposed to be and, as always, thanks to all who voted.

When did Spider-Man's Classic era end?

2011-11-26T18:26:00.000Z

Fate is a magnificent thing. Just as I was wondering what I should write about tonight, R.W. Watkins has come to my rescue by suggesting I throw out a question.

That question is; when did Spider-Man's "Classic" era end and the adventures of everyone's favourite web-spinner become just another comic strip?

Of course, it could be that Spider-Man was never special for you.

Alternatively, it might be that Spideyness is the gift that keeps on giving and, for you, it's never stopped being 20 pages of Purest Awesome every month since it first started.

For myself, it's an easy question to answer.

For me, Spider-Man's Classic era ended with Amazing Spider-Man #185, when Peter Parker graduated from university. I'm sure there were plenty of perfectly good Spider stories after that date but somehow it doesn't feel like real Spider-Man to me if Peter Parker's not a student.

Of course, this is only my ten pence worth and you may well be tearing your hair out at such ludicrous opinions - knowing, as you do, that Peter Parker graduation was only the start of the strip's goldenest ever Golden Age.

Or perhaps you think it lost its pizazz somewhere halfway through issue #2.

Or perhaps a little part of you died when the Clone Saga finally ended and you had to live with the knowledge that never more would clones be traipsing through your favourite mag.

If so, here's where you can get it all off your chest. It's practically psycho-therapy but, unlike a visit to Dr Bart Hamilton, it won't charge you a fortune and won't turn into the Green Goblin and try to kill you when you've finished.

Fantastic Four #94. Dare you enter....?

2011-11-23T21:34:00.000Z

Children. What a nuisance they can be, always getting in the way when you're trying to kick a super-villain in the nadgers.

Fortunately there're people in this world you can turn to, to look after your children while you're busy with such matters. And so it is that Marvel's answer to Mary Poppins - Agatha Harkness - makes her debut.

I've complained in the past that the last two years of Jack Kirby's tenure on the strip saw what for me was a marked decline in quality. But, in the interest of fairness, I should say that a quick glance at my battered old copy of Essential Fantastic Four Vol 5, suggests that, even during this period, there was a short-lived upturn, as that volume kicks off with The Prisoner-inspired Dr Doom tale before giving us the Thing's first encounter with Torgo and then this outing.

Admittedly, in between the Doc Doom and Torgo tales, there's a truly woeful Mole Man two-parter that makes no sense whatsoever but it's probably best we draw a veil over that one.

In Fantastic Four #94, Reed and Sue Richards decide that, as their lives are in constant danger, they should temporarily leave their baby Franklin with someone who can look after him.

That someone is Agatha Harkness who seems creepy and sinister enough on first appearance but, on closer inspection, turns out to be even more creepy and sinister.

To make matters worse, after God knows how many years' absence from the strip, the Frightful Four decide to make a comeback and attack the FF as they stay at Harkness's house.

The Thing, Mr Fantastic and the Human Torch are quickly taken out by the Frightful Four's sneak attack and deadly powers, while the Invisible Girl's defeated by their dramatic act of... ...locking her in her bedroom. No doubt the house promptly reverberated with cries of, "Help! Help! Let me out of my bedroom!" And to think people have accused Stan Lee and Jack Kirby of not being able to create empowered females.

Still, as General Thunderbolt Ross once remarked, the Invisible Girl was really only there to keep everyone's morale up by looking nice.

Fortunately, with the Fantastic Four helpless, Medusa's on hand to ~~look nice~~ tackle the villains, who've re-hired her without grasping she's the sister of sometime Fantastic Four member Crystal. Sadly, despite having a fair bit more spunk than Sue, Medusa turns out to not be much more use in a fight and is also captured.

This, of course, should mean our heroes are doomed. But the villains haven't counted on the presence of Agatha Harkness who promptly unleashes her sinister powers on them.

Given that later Jack Kirby FF tales frequently seemed to have been based on whatever it was he'd just watched on TV, I suspect this issue may have been inspired by the classic 1950s horror movie Night of the Demon. Like the villain in that movie, Agatha Harkness has a cat that turns into a much bigger cat, a big creepy house in the middle of nowhere, and a demon to set on those who offend her.

Another clear parallel is how the tale's ending leaves it noticeably ambiguous as to whether the supernatural threats the Frightfuls face in her home are real or just products of their imagination - exactly the same approach Night of the Demon director Jacques Tourneur tried to take with his film before the producers decided such ambiguity was bad for box office, and added a bunch of decidedly unambiguous shots of a giant demon.

What's great about this tale is how atypical it is for a Fantastic Four adventure. We're used to seeing the FF inhabit a world of super-science, of men in high-tech armour, of big machines, big planets, big people and even bigger concepts. Seeing them plunged into a world of the strange and supernatural - and a claustrophobic setting - is a welcome change of tone and, while Kirby's celebrated for his technology, the issue does remind us he was equally adept with the occult as with the pseudo-scientific.

Of course, not all's perfect. There is the question of how the Frightful Four knew about the secret passages in Harkness's house in order to use them for their attack and, while Agatha Harkness can clearly defend her latest charge, you do wonder at any parents who'd happily leave their child with someone so blatantly involved with dark forces.

But we all know this blog likes to be so hard-hitting that even Frank Miller daren't look at it for fear of its controversy, and so I'll say that, in my opinion, Fantastic Four #94 was Jack Kirby's last genuinely outstanding Fantastic Four tale.

But then again, what do I know? You may have other ideas. So, here's your chance to share them. What do you think was Jack Kirby's last outstanding FF tale?

The X-Men's greatest ever foe!

2011-11-21T18:20:00.000Z

After a distinctly shaky start, the X-Men went on to dominate Marvel Comics' output to such a degree that the various X-titles practically became a comics company in its own right, and long-standing readers had to suffer the sight of even venerable old scrappers like the Sub-Mariner and Spider-Man suddenly being labelled mutants in an attempt to cash in on that success.

But, of course, no matter how mighty those mighty mutants might be, they'd have been nothing if they'd had no one to smack in the gob.

So it is that the likes of Magneto, Apocalypse, Juggernaut, the Shadow King, Deathbird, Dark Phoenix, the Sentinels and, erm, Unus the Untouchable were foisted on an ever-eager public.

That means it's time for Steve Does Comics to discover just who is the X-Men's greatest foe. And that means I'm inviting you to nominate your all-time favourite X-Men villain.

As always with these things, once the nominations are in, I'll use them to post a poll, in a couple of days' time, and the world can at last decide the issue once and for all.

Or at least until the next lunch-time.

Johnny Hawke!

2011-11-19T19:04:00.001Z

While America gave us heroes who could do such magnificent feats as flying, running at the speed of light and bending things, the comics of 1970s' Britain gave us their own brand of heroes. I've already looked at Billy the Cat and Katie. And who can forget the adventures of Bella Barlow belle of the bar, who, if memory serves me right, managed to win a gymnastics bronze medal at every Olympics for about forty years?

I do like to feel there was an endearing Britishness in her tendency to win bronze medals instead of the gold ones her American comic book equivalent would no doubt have won while simultaneously dealing a death-blow to communism.

Then again, in fairness to the girl, she did usually have to compete with both legs in plaster after having them smashed by her evil coach just days before competition.

Another such low-key hero was Johnny Hawke. I must admit I have no memory of him from the weekly Beano comics, so I assume he was created specially for the 1973 Beano Annual in which he appears.

Which of us wasn't thrilled to hear that next year's London Olympics (at which Bella, in traction, will no doubt win a bronze medal) will have surface-to-air missiles on stand-by just in case they're needed? What a fun event it threatens to be. But one person who won't be thrilled by news of surface-to-air missiles is Johnny Hawke, because all his friends are airborne.

That's right. Johnny Hawke isn't like other boys. Other boys can't talk to birds.

In this story, an anaconda escapes when a crane drops the crate it's being transported in. Luckily Johhny's on hand to save the day by summoning his avian allies to pick it up - before it can eat any children at the local school - and drop it off at the nearest zoo.

I don't have a clue who drew the thing but has there ever been a more stirring comic panel than the double-page spread below?

Despite it all, there are certain worries. Such as why isn't Johnny Hawke in school at the tale's outset? Instead he's down the local docks, fishing.

I'm also worried about Mr Hicks the cop with the gun. Since when does what appears to be barely more than a local village bobby happen to carry a rifle around with him? Since when does British law permit him to just start shooting it at will? And just why is he so keen to use it? My God, I hope they don't stick him in charge of those surface-to-air missiles, or I suspect we'll all be in trouble.

The Hulk's greatest ever foe: Poll Results!

2011-11-16T19:09:00.000Z

It's time to split your shirt but not your jeans and lift up a mountain because the results are in from Steve Does Comics' sensational poll to find the Hulk's greatest ever foe.

As always it was a hotly contested vote, with opinions swinging this way and that but in the end the winner was the man who must've known all along he was going to triumph because he called himself the Leader.

That's right, the man who's as high-handed as he is high-headed came in first with a Gamma-tastic six votes.

Second was Thunderbolt Ross with a Hulk-Busting five votes.

Joint third were the Abomination and, "Himself," with two votes each.

Fifth place was a three-way tussle between the Missing Link, Wolverine and the Glob with each claiming one vote.

I'm proud to say I voted for the Glob, as you can't beat a good old pile of mud when it comes to enemies. That's why I've now decided my back garden is my deadliest foe. Grargh! Puny garden is strong but puny Steve is stronger!

Thanks to all who voted. And remember; within each of us, ofttimes there dwells a mighty and raging fury.

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 11: Ghosts Limited Collectors' Edition.

2011-11-15T20:24:00.000Z

As I roam the amusement parks of Sheffield, going, "Wooooooooooo," and pretending to be a monster so I can scare away the locals and help myself to the pirate's treasure that rumour has it is buried beneath them, people often say to me, "Steve, as Sheffield's acknowledged master of fear, which was your favourite 1970s' DC horror mag?"

And I say, "Much as I loved the likes of House of Mystery/Secrets, Weird War Tales and the Witching Hour, there's one that stands out head and shoulders above them all."

That comic is Ghosts.

I think the reason it stands out is obvious.

You see, reader, as its cover blurb told us, every single tale in it was true.

Yes, all of them - even the ones that only involved one character who ended up dead at the end, with no witnesses, meaning there's no way anyone could ever have known what had happened in order to recount the tale. The fact that such events still managed to make it into print shows you just how thorough the DC writers were in their research.

And that meant I always wanted the Ghosts Limited Collectors' Edition.

As far as I'm concerned, a comic can never go wrong with a skeleton on the front of it, nor with a haunted house on the front of it, nor with curious but imprudent youngsters on the front of it. I assume this cover's drawn by Nick Cardy, and it gives us all three of those features.

Not only that but it promises ten Halloween spine-chillers, four tense tales of haunted houses, a midnight maze puzzle and a 3-D Trick-or-Treat cut-out. Obviously, as an Englishman, I have no idea what this Trick-or-Treat thing is of which they speak but it certainly sounds exciting and I can't wait for it to catch on in this country.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes #199.

2011-11-12T19:17:00.000Z

As anyone who ever sat though the Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop show way back in the 1970s can tell you, there's no sight more nightmarish than that of a human being talking to their own hand.

So it is that the Legion of Super-Heroes have plenty to worry about as issue #199 sees the return of Tyr, the big, red alien warlord with the talking metal gun-hand, who was last seen in issue #197.

When Tyr was captured at the end of that tale, his gun-hand flew off into outer space, vowing vengeance.

And now it's back, determined to rescue its master by trapping the Legion in their own HQ.

Unfortunately, when Superboy turns up to try and rescue them, it gets ideas above its station by taking control of him and deciding that, with Superboy under its spell, it doesn't need Tyr any more.

Happily, it's all sorted out by Princess Projectra and Chameleon Boy doing their thang, to trick it into giving itself up. It's all nicely drawn by Dave Cockrum, while Tyr, despite being a bit futile in this tale, does look good, with his bright red skin, gratuitous height and mohawk.

But of course what really makes this issue stand out from the pack is that its back-up strip gives us a wrong-doer of such unique awfulness that I once voted him the worst super-villain of all time.

Yes, strangely familiar....

Not only does he look like a refugee from Dr Hook's taken to rummaging through Kraven the Hunter's dustbins and stealing any clothes Kraven's thrown out for being too lame, but he has a great plan - to defeat Bouncing Boy.

Now, I don't like to teach my grandmother to suck eggs but my advice to any would-be super-villain would be that if your ambition's to defeat Bouncing Boy then you should probably give it up as a bad job.

Regardless, while he's flying back to Earth from some mission or other, Bouncing Boy's space shuttle's captured and taken to an asteroid where his abductor Otto Orion Jr declares he's going to set Bouncing Boy loose on the asteroid, hunt him down like a dog and kill him.

Is this the end for the man who convinced generations of children that obesity is a super power?

When the villain puts down his weapon and has his
hands occupied tying his boots, our hero bursts into action
by, erm, just standing there, watching.

Of course it isn't.

Why? Because Bouncing Boy saves himself by hiding in a puddle until he catches a cold, so he'll sneeze, causing him to ricochet off a wall and knock Orion out on the rebound.

Yes, that's how hopeless Otto Orion Jr is, that he can be defeated by a plan that pathetic.

Oh well, what can you do? As anyone who's ever tried talking to their hand could tell you, not everyone in life can be as sinister a presence as Shari Lewis. And, as anyone who's ever worn leopard-skin tights can tell you, not everyone can be Kraven the Hunter.

The Incredible Hulk's all-time greatest foe.

2011-11-10T18:52:00.000Z

Rargh! Steve smash! Puny Internet is strong but puny Steve is punier!

No, wait that's not right.

Whatever.

All that matters is Steve Does Comics' insane quest to find the greatest super-villain of them all has reached Marvel's mightiest marauder, the incredible Hulk.

Film critic Mark Kermode once claimed a Hulk movie can't work because the Hulk has no great enemies. Pshaw! What kind of madman could turn his nose up at the Abomination, the Glob, the Rhino, the Space Parasite, the Leader, Umbu and the Galaxy Master?

But of course those're only a small selection of the myriad foes Jade Jaws has fought over the years. So, who's your all-time favourite Hulk villain?

As always, after a couple of days, I shall gather your nominees together and put them in a poll.

And then the world can at last decide just who is the Hulk's greatest ever foe.

Les Daniels, RIP.

2011-11-09T20:09:00.002Z

As has already been reported on various other sites, including Bronze Age Babies and Rip Jagger's Dojo, writer and comics historian Les Daniels has passed away.

I must confess I only really knew Les Daniels from his book Marvel: Five Fabulous Decades of the World's Greatest Comics which I bought almost exactly 20 years ago. It's a scary thought that if he wrote it now it'd have to be called Seven Fabulous Decades of the World's Greatest Comics.

But that just reveals how much time's passed since then. These days, thanks to the Internet, one can find out pretty much anything one wants to about comics, with the press of a button. But, back then, when such limitless resources were barely more than a twinkle in the eyes of some mad scientist, reading such a book was like finding a horde of buried treasure, packed with pictures, anecdotes, info and quotes from famous creators.

It really was a joy to behold, and still is. And for that, although I knew next to nothing about him, I shall always be grateful to Les Daniels. You can read what I had to say about that book by clicking on the picture above.

Forty years ago today. November 1971.

2011-11-07T20:27:00.000Z

Thanks to the Steve Does Comics' time machine, we've already seen what our favourite Marvel heroes were up to fifty years ago this month, but just what were they up to ten years later?

Obviously they were all ten years older and had therefore, no doubt, learned to be calmer, less ready to use their fists, and to sort things out by reason and logic.

Nope. They were still hitting anything that couldn't run away fast enough.

Spider-Man finds himself having to deal with both the Lizard and Morbius.

Still, at least he turned up well-armed.

It's the Avengers vs a herd of cows, and Ant-Man vs the Vision's tonsils, as Neal Adams arrives and the Kree/Skrull War steps up a gear.

For the first time in living memory, a Captain America cover doesn't feature the Grey Gargoyle. Instead it features a mystery villain.

Could it be the Red Skull?

Could it be Baron Zemo?

Could it be Irving Forbush?

I'm assuming from the cover that this is where Barry Smith and Roy Thomas give us their adaptation of Robert E Howard's Rogues in the House.

I seem to recall that the sorcerer in this has a living-room lined entirely with mirrors. If only I had a living-room lined entirely with mirrors, so I could look at myself all day long and appreciate my beauty as others can.

I read this a couple of years ago, after acquiring a pile of old Daredevil comics. I should therefore be able to tell you exactly what happens in it.

I don't have a clue what happens in it.

Hooray! First he wins our poll to find the greatest ever Fantastic Four villain and now Dr Doom takes over leadership of the FF as they look to take on the latest threat to mankind.

I also read this a couple of years ago and believe the villain to be the Over-Mind. Or was it the Stranger? Or was it both?

The Hulk takes on a giant statue and a bunch of Ancient Egyptian gods.

Bah! Puny gods have no chance against Hulk!

Iron Man tangles with someone called Mikas.

I know nothing about Mikas but assume, from his implied MO, that he has something to do with the villainess of last month's story.

It's Thor and the Silver Surfer vs Durok the Demolisher.

I love this story. Not being a great fan of the Surfer and his endless whingeing, I love that his surfboard gets smashed.

Was Durok ever seen again? I hope so.

Dan Dare. 2000AD Annual, 1978.

2011-11-05T19:04:00.001Z

Whoosh! Whizz! Bang! It's Guy Fawkes Night!

And that can only mean one thing

Rockets!

And that can only mean one thing.

Dan Dare!

While America may have had the likes of Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers to protect it from interplanetary menaces, 1950s' Britain had the mighty Dan Dare, a square-jawed, pipe-smoking, rock-fisted defender of the British Empire and Commonwealth, guaranteed to save us all from dastardly aliens and their foreign ways.

Actually I don't know if any of that's true, as I've never read any of the original tales. For all I know he might, back then, have been a rampant communist who spent all his time telling his youthful readers that resistance is futile and we should surrender at once to our rightful Soviet overlords.

None of that matters because I first encountered Dan Dare in the 1970s, in the pages of 2000 AD where he was revived and revamped. Appropriately for such a national institution, it was Dan Dare who kicked off their 1978 Annual.

And what an action-packed tale it is. Our hero rushes to stop a spacecraft from crashing into the Earth, discovers its crew are dead, its bridge full of deadly floating slime, then finds himself and the ship transported via black hole to an alien world where a criminal called Mytax has lumped his lot in with a giant, green, winged alien called Solan who appears to be virtually all-powerful.

Mytax might sound like something you'd buy for Athlete's Foot but it soon turns out he's a first-rate heel and, having no sense of good old fashioned English decency, tries to have Solan kill Dan. Pausing only to slaughter a giant monster, Dan ruins everything for everyone before Solan's father turns up to take him away.

Yes, in a twist we've never seen before in any story ever, it turns out the all-powerful alien is only a naughty child who needs a good spanking from his parents.

It might not be the most original tale ever, and its ten pages of non-stop action don't exactly allow an awful lot of room for character development but it does look appealing. There're no credits that I can see but the finely-honed critical instincts that bought you this post, tell me the art's probably by the redoubtable Massimo Belardinelli who was apparently not to everyone's taste on the strip and was dropped from it after a while.

As his art always looked fine to me, I can only assume people's problem was that, in Belardinelli's hands, Dan Dare didn't look overly like Dan Dare. But who cares about that? A pretty picture's a pretty picture and, as Guy Fawkes could've told you...

Erm...

Er...

No. I can't think of anything Guy Fawkes could've told you that has any relevance to this story. But happy Bonfire Night anyway.

And remember, kids, don't blow up Parliament. It's naughty.

The Avengers' all-time greatest villain: Poll Results!

2011-11-02T19:07:00.000Z

Well, the Greek Prime Minister might be trying to put everything to a referendum but he's well and truly behind the curve, as this site's already done the only referendum that counts.

That's right; the results are in from Steve Does Comics' poll to find the all-time greatest Avengers villain. Could it be the Grim Reaper? Could it be the Space Phantom? Could it be Attuma?

In fact it was none of the above because the runaway winner was Ultron with eleven votes.

Second was Kang with six votes.

Joint third were the Squadron Sinister and Count Nefaria, with one vote each.

Joint fifth was everyone else in the entire world, with a walloping zero votes.

Who'd have thought a mother-fixated patricidal robot could prove so popular? Well, the Greeks probably could. They did after all invent the Oedipus Complex. It just goes to show there's no such thing as a coincidence in this world.

As always, thanks to all those who voted.

Fifty Years Ago Today! A sensational new feature rocks the Internet!

2011-11-01T19:05:00.001Z

It's no secret that one of the most popular features on this blog is the one where I post the covers of various old comics, in order to find out what our favourite Marvel heroes were up to exactly forty years ago. So popular is it that people who've never even heard of comics - or even of me - bang on my door at night demanding, "Steve, what were our favourite heroes up to exactly forty years ago?"

But now that fateful moment has arrived when it's actually possible for me to do the same for our favourite heroes fifty years ago.

Granted, right now that doesn't take much doing as, in November 1961, Marvel had just one super-hero comic out but, as time goes by, such a feature will no doubt enable us to see how the company grew and developed as the 1960s progressed.

The Mighty Marvel Age of Heroics kicks off with The Fantastic Four #1. And what a great cover it is. With just one image, Jack Kirby lets us see at a glance what our brand-new heroes are all about. Instantly we can see that Mr Fantastic can stretch like knicker elastic, the Human Torch can burst into flames and fly, the Thing is big and ugly and can crush cars, and that the Invisible Girl's completely useless.

One thing that's always baffled me about the cover though is that Reed Richards is shown stretching free of ropes whilst declaring, "It'll take more than ropes to keep Mr Fantastic out of action!" That may be true but who exactly has tried to tie him up? I assume it's not the monster - it's clearly only just arrived. And, besides, why would you waste time trying to tie people up if you were a giant monster?

I can only conclude that, the moment he saw a monster appear, Mr Fantastic tied himself up so he could demonstrate to it that ropes cannot hold him.

What a complete and total berk.

It's Halloween! Down to the bare bones: The Top Ten greatest skeletons on Weird War Tales covers.

2011-10-31T10:00:00.000Z

Hooray! It's that magical time of year again, when the dead rise from their graves and pester the living. It's good news for fans of Jimmy Savile but what about the rest of us?

Well, such an occurrence can only mean one thing.

Skellingtons.

Thus it is that Steve Does Comics looks at what I reckon are the Top Ten skeletons ever to grace the cover of Weird War Tales. As always with Steve Does Comics, it's hard-hitting, it's controversial, it's a debate likely to tear the Internet itself asunder. But here we go...

10.

It's not just a skeleton. It's a skeleton with a pet skeleton.

Just when you think it's safe to pop down to the beach, those pesky skeletons come up at you from under it. That's the last time I ever go to Skegness.

This time of year, even the clouds want in on the skeleton action.

One of Britain's finest war heroes once claimed they don't like it up 'em. Here's someone about to put that theory to the test.

What's the use of being a skeleton if you can't have a weird flying bird-thing to flap around on and cause even more consternation with?

Beckoning. Beckoning.

All because you're a skeleton doesn't mean you can't be an artist.

They still don't like it up 'em.

It's even more beckoning - but this time with the Clawing Hands of Horror.

Just when you think they've run out of skeletons, they send on the sub.

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 10: DC Famous 1st Edition #C-26, Action Comics #1.

2011-10-29T19:33:00.000+01:00

While the world holds its breath awaiting the outcome of our poll to find the Avengers' greatest enemy, it's time for Steve Does Comics to bring back the Internet's most demanded feature, as I once more ramble on about a comic I've never read but always wanted as a kid.

I have to admit that, even now, I've never read Superman's debut tale. But that's all right, as I've managed to divine his origin from other places. Thus I know that Clark Kent was a nerdy reporter until bitten by a radioactive spider, whereupon he took to dressing up as a bat to fight crime.

Of course I'd have known all this sooner if I'd had the catchily titled DC Famous First Edition #C-26 which reprinted Action Comics #1 in all its glory. I was never, as a child, in any doubt that, being very old, the contents would be crude compared to what were then modern standards but, still, the chance to see how it all started was a severe temptation for me.

One thing that does strike me is that, looking at this title's entry on the Grand Comics Database, Action Comics #1 would appear to have had seventy two pages. Was it normal in the 1930s for comics to have that high a page count? I always knew old comics had more content than their modern equivalents but I was assuming it was something like fifty pages. If seventy two was the norm, they certainly believed in giving you value for your 10 cents back then.

The Avengers' all-time greatest villain.

2011-10-27T19:42:00.000+01:00

For a team specifically created to be Marvel's flagship super-group, it's always seemed to me the Avengers have generated surprisingly few great villains in their time.

Mostly, in the 1960s and '70s period in which I read the strip, they seemed to find themselves up against villains who were rarely - or even never seen again - or bad guys imported from other titles, often after failing to set the world alight there.

Still, amongst all these not-quite-greats, there was the odd classic bad guy created for the strip.

And, anyway, all because a villain's not an all-time great doesn't mean he can't be appreciated.

In a couple of days from now I'll create a poll to find out just who is the Internet's favourite Avengers foe. And that means I need your nominations.

Remember, if he/she/it isn't in it, he/she/it can't win it.

Giant-Size Avengers #4. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 13.

2011-10-25T21:29:00.000+01:00

At last it's the end of the Celestial Madonna Saga. Soon I shall be free to drivel on about whatever it is I want to drivel about next.

But first, with such an event, I think we can take it for granted Marvel'll have pulled out all the stops to make sure such a tale's special, using the finest creators to produce a truly landmark issue that people'll speak of in hushed whispers forever.

And so it is that when we open the book, we find Giant Size Avengers #4's guest artist is...

...Don Heck.

Now, as long-suffering readers of this blog'll know, I'm open-minded on the subject of Don Heck. I quite like his early Iron Man and Avengers work, and I like his work on Sub-Mariner #68.

But sadly not all his art was of that standard and there were times when trying to read a comic drawn by him could be a painful experience.

This is one of those times. It simply looks dreadful. How much of that's down to Heck and how much is down to John Tartag(lione), whose inking here can only be labelled primitive, is hard to say but either way the final effect is terrible. In places it genuinely looks like the thing's been drawn by someone who was just randomly dragged in off the street.

Still, as we all know, pretty pictures are only part of a comic book, and a great story might yet overcome ugly graphics.

It turns out that story has an awful lot to pack in.

Diverted from his travellings through time, the Vision finds himself in what I take to be the centre of the Earth where he discovers Dormammu and Umar have captured the Scarlet Witch and're up to their usual out-to-take-over-the-world mischief. The Vision soon sees off Dormammu's underlings but looks like he's going to come a cropper when the Witch, under Dormammu's control, drains him of all power. Happily the sight of her BF dying brings the Witch to her senses and she sorts out Dormammu with an almost bathetic ease before she and the Vizh head off to Vietnam to rejoin the rest of the gang.

While all this has been going on, the rest of that gang have been exposited-up senseless as writer Steve Englehart tries to tie up all loose ends.

So we get the final threads of explanation that Moondragon and Mantis were both raised as potential Celestial Madonnas but, of the two, the more in-touch-with-reality Mantis has been chosen. Then at least three different version of Kang show up to cause trouble before a final Kang appears and kidnaps Mantis, who then turns out not to be Mantis but the Space Phantom in disguise. Kang out of the way, Mantis is now free to marry a tree and fulfil her destiny - but not before the Vision and Scarlet Witch arrive and say they want to make it a joint wedding. So Immortus does the honours, Mantis and her new tree-husband become beings of pure thought, and everyone lives happily ever after - except Kang who's presumably now stuck with the Space Phantom for a girlfriend from now on.

The thing that strikes you about the story is how over-crammed it feels as Steve Englehart seems determined to throw in everything including the kitchen sink. We even get the return of the Titanic Three. I suppose some of it's unavoidable; he had to finish off the Scarlet Witch sub-plot that'd been rumbling on for several issues, in order that the Vision and the Witch could get married. Hence we need the intrusive and unwelcome Dormammu sub-plot that, apart from making Dormammu look feeble, really feels like it belongs in a different issue altogether.

Of course, the question has to be asked why did the Vision and the Witch have to be married this issue anyway? Wouldn't it have made more sense to have a later tale devoted to their wedding rather than having what should be a major event squeezed into Mantis' wedding story?

The multiple Kangs really do feel like overfilling the bucket, as does the arrival of the Space Phantom. By the point that he shows up, you're feeling it wouldn't be a surprise if even the Living Eraser put in an appearance.

I also wonder just how valid the Vision and Scarlet Witch's marriage is. I'm no expert on American law but does a wedding overseen by "the King of Limbo" really have any legal status in the US?

Being the rampant hard-line feminist (grrr) that I am, I also query the fact that, without ever being consulted, Mantis and Moondragon have been raised purely with an eye on them becoming a wife to a tree. You'd have thought it's something they might be a little offended to discover. Instead Moondragon seems offended only that she's not the one who's been chosen.

I also have to wonder about the ethics of Mantis' prospective tree-husband having resurrected and taken possession of the Swordsman's corpse to use as a kind of zombie for its purposes. There is such a thing as respecting the dead.

So, overall it's a disappointing end to the whole thing, with Steve Englehart simply trying to fit too much in for the good of the story, lapses of taste and a terrible art job.

The one thing I do like is the characterisation of Thor, from whom we get a fair bit of internal monologue as he ponders on the nature of mortality, godhood, the passage of time, leadership of the Avengers and no doubt a whole bunch more things I've forgotten about. I don't remember him ever being depicted as so thoughtful in his own mag and it's refreshing to see here.

The Fantastic Four's all-time greatest villain. Poll results!

2011-10-24T19:24:00.000+01:00

Flame off, team-mates. Clobbering time is well and truly over because the results are in from Steve Does Comics' breathless poll to discover the Fantastic Four's greatest villain of all time.

I could claim it was a close-run thing but the truth is that, to possibly no one's surprise but Diablo's, Dr Doom ran away with it, coming out on top with a crushing nine votes.

In second place was the Sub-Mariner, with just two votes, while Galactus had to settle for a mere one vote.

Not to be outdone, Hockey Stick Head matched Galactus stride-for-stride by also getting one vote, meaning Hockey Stick Head is officially the joint third-greatest Fantastic Four villain of all time.

No I don't know who he is either, and neither do Mr Google and Mr Wikipedia, but a good villain never let a small problem like non-existence get him down.

As always, thanks to everyone who voted.

Dr Doom	9 (69%)
Diablo	0 (0%)
Galactus	1 (7%)
Sub-Mariner	2 (15%)
The Impossible Man	0 (0%)
The Frightful Four	0 (0%)
Hockey Stick Head	1 (7%)
The Black Panther	0 (0%)
The Red Ghost and/or his apes	0 (0%)

Avengers #135. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 12.

2011-10-22T19:59:00.000+01:00

Some might accuse me of lacking stamina but I must admit that, by this stage, Celestial Madonna Fatigue's starting to claim me. Still, at last, after twelve issues and over a month of posting, the end is finally in sight.

And for it we get a fresh new look. Most instalments of the seemingly endless epic have so far been drawn by either Sal Buscema/Joe Staton or Dave Cockrum but this issue's pencilled by George Tuska. I know Tuska's not the most popular of artists with everyone but I've always had a soft spot for him. His style's instantly recognisable, full of vigour and his story-telling's clear and efficient.

While it might be part of the Celestial Madonna storyline, the issue's focus is more on the Vision than on Mantis, as the red-faced battler discovers just how Ultron turned the Original Human Torch into him.

It turns out he did it with an awful lot of effort; first having to track down the Mad Thinker, then having to snatch the Torch from under the nose of the Silver Surfer and then having to find the Torch's creator Phineas T Horton to force him to make the necessary changes.

It's here we're told Ultron wants to create the Vision so he'll have a son, which I'm not sure is as pleasing an explanation as the original one that he was simply out to create an assassin to bump off the Avengers.

Regardless of that, it's a strange sight seeing the newly-activated Vision before he's had his memories wiped and therefore speaking and acting like the Original Human Torch. And, seeing him having his identity wiped by Ultron again raises the feeling I've touched on before that the Torch really was hard-done-to by Marvel's post-Golden Age writers.

While all this is happening, the rest of the Avengers are back in Vietnam, increasingly mystified by what's going down as they find themselves in conversation with Libra and the ghost of the Swordsman.

But it's not the origin of Mantis they get to hear. It's the origin of Moondragon who turns up and tells us that, as a girl, she was in a car attacked by Thanos' spaceship, only to be rescued by Mentor - ruler of Titan - and taken to his world for an upbringing noticeably similar to Mantis'.

If all this wasn't enough, back at the Avengers Mansion, Jarvis - alarmed by a sinister laugh coming from the Scarlet Witch's room, barges in to find it empty.

What can it all mean?

Only next issue - the concluding part of our saga - can tell.

Steve Does Covers. Planet of the Apes #2.

2011-10-20T10:34:00.001+01:00

As I roam the streets of Sheffield, people often say to me, "Steve, with your knowledge of the visual arts, you're like Sheffield's answer to Brian Sewell."

And I say, "What? the bloke from UFO? I'm sure he was great but, frankly, I'd rather be Ed Bishop."

"No, you great steaming fool!" they say. "Not George Sewell. Brian Sewell, the renowned art critic and vowel mangler."

"That's all lovely," I tell them, "but I'd still rather be Ed Bishop. Does Brian Sewell have a secret underground base full of unlikely equipment for fighting aliens? Well? Does he? Does he?"

Apparently he does.

Still, being Sheffield's answer to Brian Sewell gives me all the excuse I need to climb onto the roof with my bazooka and take a pot-shot at the flying saucer of Art Appreciation.

And I'll start with the cover to Marvel UK's Planet of the Apes #2.

After issue #1's beautifully painted cover [right], I was at the time hugely disappointed by it. It just seemed like a return to the second-rate covers Marvel UK habitually inflicted on us.

Nowadays I think it's great. Granted the draftsmanship's not what you'd call sophisticated but the actual composition's pleasingly dynamic, with the apes' heads rising above the horizon, their varying heights fitting in nicely with the curve of the logo but also breaking through it to exacerbate the sense of three-dimensionality created by having the crouching humans on a different plane in front of them.

The line of apes plays a nice trick on the subconscious. Obviously, we know it's a group of separate apes but, having them in a line as they make their way across the page, creates a subliminal impression of a single ape caught in a string of snapshots as it crosses the cover, creating a sense of movement in a static image.

I also like the red sky - and the presence of a low sun; a homage, I assume, to the opening titles of the TV show which featured a gorilla with raised rifle silhouetted by the burning sun.

At the time, I thought the ape in the lead bore a remarkable resemblance to Nationwide presenter Michael Barratt. Sadly, nowadays, the resemblance is lost on me.

More happily, none of them ever reminded me of his co-host Sue Lawley.

Avengers #134. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 11.

2011-10-19T21:40:00.000+01:00

This cover bears no relation to what actually
happens inside. Grrr!

It's time to grab our talking sticks and fling ourselves once more into the swirling tempest of Time to learn yet more of the origins of Mantis and the Vision.

Still clinging onto their stick, the Avengers learn that, after the rise of the Kree empire, a group of Kree pacifists discovered the Cotati plant people still lived, having gone into hiding in a cellar for what appears to be several hundred years.

The pacifists promptly forged an alliance with them and, through a series of events, including the arrival of the Star-Stalker, ended up finding their way to Earth where they created the Temple of Pama and the garden in which the Swordsman was buried.

Personally I'm always happy to see the Cotati. I can't say they come across as riveting company but they do seem to be nice people. Like Columbo, though, there is one thing that's always bothered me.

We're led to believe that, following their massacre by the Kree, the Cotati took to hiding themselves away in a cellar in the Kree capital for several hundred years.

Leaving aside the question of how they managed to remain hidden in the middle of a major city for hundreds of years, there's the obvious problem that it means they've been living for centuries in a room without windows. Now, I'm no Kim Wilde - that's why they wouldn't let me on Top of the Pops - but even I know enough about gardening to know that plants and rooms without windows don't mix.

The Vision meanwhile is having revelations of his own. Hanging onto his own magic stick, he learns that, after the Original Human Torch inconveniently exploded in the mid-1950s, he was revived by the Mad Thinker in order to fight the Fantastic Four's Human Torch.

Sadly, such a revival was short lived, as he suffered the indignity of being killed by the computer Quasimodo, surely one of the rubbishest villains in the history of comicdom. If you're going to kill a legendary character, at least do him the service of having him be killed by a proper villain.

But, when you read this section, it really does rub it in how futile the life of the average super-villain is, as The Mad Thinker puts what's clearly a ridiculous amount of work into finding and repairing the Torch, for no worthwhile reason.

Meanwhile, back in the present, having picked up a signal sent by Hawkeye but meant for Captain Marvel, Moondragon shows up at the Avengers Mansion and is promptly attacked by the Scarlet Witch.

Now, there're those harsh souls who might say that wanting to attack Moondragon is a perfectly normal response to meeting Moondragon. But the Scarlet Witch is no normal human and it's clear from her behaviour that something dark and sinister is going on with her and Agatha Harkness. After the events of last issue, where the Witch was almost attacked by her own chair, this is all quite intriguing in its sense of dangerous forces at work in the domicile.

So, yet another chapter progresses in the lives of our heroes, and at last we get the promise of resolution, as the Avengers - minus the Vision and his girlfriend - suddenly find themselves transported to Vietnam where the ghost of the Swordsman, and Libra await them.

The Fantastic Four's all-time greatest villain.

2011-10-17T19:57:00.000+01:00

They say you can judge the quality of man by who his enemies are, which is bad news for some of us, as my deadliest enemy is the "Bossa Nova" setting of any Yamaha keyboard.

But the Fantastic Four are cut from a different cloth; a cloth of unstable molecules. You the public have already decided who Spider-Man's greatest enemy is, and now, in Steve Does Comics' endless quest to find the greatest super-villain of them all, it's time to take a look at Marvel's mightiest quartet.

There can't be many comics that've given us so many classic foes as the FF have. Why, just off the top of my head, I can name the likes of Dr Doom, Galactus, Annihilus, the Super-Skrull, Diablo, the Sentry, Ronan the Accuser, the Mad Thinker and, erm, Paste Pot Pete.

We also shouldn't forget such perennially under-appreciated foes as the Miracle Man, the Molecule Man and Psycho-Man. For that matter, I hear Willie Lumpkin was in the habit of bending Johnny Storm's hot-rod mags in half to get them through the letter box, leaving an unsightly crease in them. The vile so-and-so.

But don't let my ramblings influence you. Simply nominate your favourite Fantastic Four foe and, after a couple of days, I'll put your nominations in a poll. Then, at last, the world can vote for the Fantastic Four's greatest villain of them all.

Avengers #133. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 10.

2011-10-16T20:50:00.000+01:00

You have to hand it to the Avengers. If someone with Immortus' track record handed me a stick, claiming it'd take me back in time, the least I'd demand is a good sturdy rope to tether me to the present, and for Thor to remain behind to give him a pummelling if he tried anything.

Not the Avengers though. He gives them the sticks and they're off, no questions asked, into the ocean of Time to unearth the origins of Mantis and the Vision.

It's the origin of Mantis that turns out to be the most convoluted, as it doesn't even begin with her but with the beginnings of the Kree race and the seeds of the Kree/Skrull War.

Long long ago, on a world far far away, the Skrulls decide to pay a visit to Hala, homeworld of the then-primitive Kree and their planet-mates the Cotati plant people.

The Skrulls offer them a deal that whichever race does most in the next twelve months to impress them'll be granted access to the Skrulls' technology and knowledge. The Cotati win the competition by creating a garden - as opposed to the Kree who waste an awful lot of effort creating a totally pointless city on the moon - and the Kree respond with good grace by killing all the Cotati and the Skrull visitors. All of a sudden it's clear just where Ronan the Accuser got the attitude from.

Yes, they're celebrating killing some plants.

It is a strange thing though to see the Skrulls depicted as more advanced and peaceable than the Kree, given how they've always been portrayed up to this point. On the one hand, I like the fact that we're told it's such Kree aggression that'll ultimately drive the Skrulls to become the devious war-like imperialists we all know and love but, on the other, it does feel a little off for the Skrulls to be so much more advanced than the Kree. I do prefer the idea of them as moral and technological equals.

Not that the Vision cares. He has other things to worry about as, sent off with a stick of his own, he heads back to the late 1930s to see the origin of the Original Human Torch. For those like me who've never read the Original Human Torch's adventures, it's a useful history lesson on one of Marvel's Golden Age giants and provides an explanation for various mysteries, such as the Vision's fear of jumping into water.

But, clearly the origins of both the Vision and Mantis are so earth-shattering and senses-searing they can't be contained within one comic and so we have to wait for next month to find out how these events lead to the creation of our heroes.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, even stranger things are afoot, with the Scarlet Witch using her powers to bring a chair to life while, in Saigon, the ghost of the Swordsman - who seems a much happier bunny than he ever did in life - and Libra hang around waiting for something to happen.

But waiting for what to happen? And what does it all have to do with Moondragon?

Spider-Man's all-time greatest villain: Poll Results!

2011-10-13T18:57:00.001+01:00

Walloping Websnappers, the results are in from the first stage in Steve Does Comics' epic quest to find the greatest super-villain of all time.

And the vote for who's Spider-Man's greatest foe has given a resounding victory to that boggle-eyed bounder of badness the Green Goblin. It might be unlucky for some but not for Norman Osborn's worse half who gained a pumpkintastic thirteen votes.

Second was J Jonah Jameson with six votes.

Doc Ock managed five votes.

"Himself," and the Kingpin both managed two votes, while the Shocker, the Scorpion and my own personal favourite the Lizard managed just one.

Thanks to everyone who voted, and my condolences to all those super-villains who had to walk away empty-handed.

With thirty one votes, it was this site's most responded-to poll so far and, here, at a glance, is how it all went:

Doc Ock	5 (16%)
Green Goblin	13 (41%)
The Rhino	0 (0%)
The Scorpion	1 (3%)
J Jonah Jameson	6 (19%)
Himself	2 (6%)
The Lizard	1 (3%)
The Sandman	0 (0%)
The Kangaroo	0 (0%)
The Gibbon	0 (0%)
Molten Man	0 (0%)
Kingpin	2 (6%)
Electro	0 (0%)
The Chameleon	0 (0%)
The Looter	0 (0%)
Mysterio	0 (0%)
The Vulture	0 (0%)
The Shocker	1 (3%)

Giant-Size Avengers# 3. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 9.

2011-10-12T21:07:00.000+01:00

Maybe it says something bad about me that the thing that's always most impressed me about Giant-Size Avengers #3 is Mantis' chest.

This is because, when she lies on her back during her fight with the hapless Midnight, Dave Cockrum shows it flattening out under the pull of gravity.

Compared to the other revelations in this tale, the fact that Mantis' breasts move might not seem a major plot point - or even two major plot points - and it isn't but it's always been one of my bugbears when a comic book artist shows human soft tissue being totally immune to the effects of external forces such as gravity and inertia, giving the impression that the characters are made from some form of living concrete. Frankly, looking at the way most super-heroines are routinely depicted, you do wonder how the undertakers are ever going to get the coffin lid shut.

But of course, while my focus might be on Mantis' anatomy, plotter Steve Englehart's attention is on an altogether different anatomy - that of the Vision.

Still trapped in Immortus' labyrinth, the individual Avengers still keep coming up against members of Kang's Legion of the Unliving. This time out, Mantis makes short work of Midnight, while Thor goes on a one-man avenge trip against Kang, after discovering Iron Man's seemingly dead body.

With Kang doing a runner after getting fed up of Thor hitting his force field, Immortus uses his own Magic Limbo Powers TM to restore everyone to perfect health, sends the component parts of the Legion of the Unliving back to where they came from and promises to reveal everything there is to know about the origins of the Vision and Mantis.

But of course this is the issue where we get the start of the whole process of Vision-origin-unveiling, as we're given the big reveal that the synthezoid is in fact the Original Human Torch.

We find this out when the Torch inspects the Vision's mortally wounded body and spots something that astonishes him.

Exactly what that something is, is anyone's guess. As with Ant-Man's shock discovery of something in the Vision's brain, way back in Avengers #93, the nature of that discovery is never explained to us. Still, I do remember how important and gob-smacking this issue's revelation seemed when I first read this tale all those years ago, even if now I'm not sure it's the best way to handle it. I can't help feeling it would've been better to just give us a teaser that there was a big secret behind the Vision's creation and delay the full reveal until the the issue that specifically deals with the Vision's beginnings, rather than shoehorning it into a story about something else.

Something that does bother me in the issue is that people keep saying Iron Man's dead because he has no pulse and no heartbeat.

But how do they know?

For one thing he's wearing armour and, for another, no one who says it ever seems to actually make the effort to check or even get close enough to find out. It seems to me they're all a bit too quick to declare him gone, almost as though it's wishful thinking.

I don't know, you give them a mansion, give them a butler, and still they can't wait to get rid of you.

Six-Armed Spider-Man: Poll Results!

2011-10-10T19:26:00.000+01:00

The poll results are in and, after all these decades of controversy, you - the World - have decided you love Six-Armed Spider-Man; with ten of you voting for, "Like," six voting for, "Loathe," and four deciding that, after forty years, you still haven't made your mind up. Truly this is the Steve Does Comics Age of Democracy.

Faced with this result, I think we have to say Marvel now have no choice but to bring back Six-Armed Spider-Man.

Not only that but I'd say so decisive a result means they have to give all their characters six arms from now on. We demand Six-Armed Ant-Man, Six-Armed Deathlok and Six-Armed Galactus.

Admittedly this means Dr Octopus would now have twelve limbs, meaning they'll have to rename him Dr Dodecapus but what do we care? In all revolutions there have to be casualties.

Steve Does Comics' 100,000th Anniversary Special! Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 10: Batman Limited Collector's Edition. All-Villain Issue.

2011-10-08T20:22:00.001+01:00

Wham! Bam! Splokk! And whatever other sound effects you can think of - because, like a drunk smashing majestically through a plate-glass window, Steve Does Comics has finally crashed through the 100,000 page-views mark.

With this blog's usual Route One approach, that'd normally be my cue to post a picture of the cover of issue #100,000 of various comics and pass comments on them along the lines of, "I've never read this one and don't have a clue what happens in it."

Sadly, thanks to the major comics publishers' habit of relaunching their titles every few years, we're never likely to see a comic hit the 100,000 issue mark. So, instead I'll ramble on about yet another comic I always wanted as a kid but never had. This time out, it's another of Batman's Limited Collector's Editions.

I always loved the way Jim Aparo drew torsos, so this was always going to appeal to me. Surely only the terminally unexcitable could fail to be aroused by the sight of our felon-bashing fledermaus reacting dramatically to the sight of his deadliest foes being Bat-Signalled into a purple dusk. You also have to dig that cape too. The way Aparo used to draw it, it was practically a character in its own right.

Steve Does Comics: How it all
began, 100,000 years ago.
Click the pic to go there.

If the cover blurb's to be believed, there's all the usual features one expects of a DC Limited Collector's Edition but you also get a giant pin-up plan of the Batcave - which means that all the villains on the cover had to do was buy a copy of the comic and they'd have access to all of Batman's greatest secrets.

Why, with knowledge like that, it could only be a matter of time before Two-Face stole Bats' giant coin.

And then what would our hero do if he ever encountered a giant bubble-gum machine and had no giant money with which to buy a circular ball of latex he'd be scared to swallow in case it wrapped itself round his intestines?

Spider-Man's all-time greatest villain.

2011-10-06T19:25:00.001+01:00

There're times in a man's life when he must set himself a task so huge it staggers the very senses. Steve Does Comics favourite Brian Blessed did just that when he set out to climb Mount Everest without ~~shouting~~ oxygen. Mount Everest then reciprocated by trying to climb Brian Blessed without oxygen.

Sadly that attempt ended in tragedy for Mount Everest and never again would its hubris know such abandon.

So it is that I'm setting out to discover just who is the greatest super-villain of all time.

But, to do that, I need a poll. And, to get that, I first need candidates.

And where better to start collecting candidates than with Marvel's flagship character Spider-Man? That's why I'm asking you to name your all-time favourite Spider-Man villain. In a couple of days from now, I'll use that list of nominees to create a poll for us to vote in. That done, I can then start collecting criminal candidates for all our other favourite heroes.

Spider-Man of course is remarkable for being blessed with a whole slew of classic villains. In its first couple of years, the strip gave us Dr Octopus, the Lizard, the Green Goblin, the Scorpion, Mysterio, Kraven, the Vulture and many more. The production line of memorable villains slowed after that but the Romita years gave us the likes of the Kingpin, the Shocker, Silvermane and the Rhino, while even later years gave us Morbius, the Jackal, Venom, that bloke who was like Venom, and that bloke who was, erm, made of bees.

So, that trip down Memory Lane completed, who's your all-time favourite Spider-Man villain?

Avengers #132. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 8. More of the Legion of the Unliving.

2011-10-05T20:31:00.000+01:00

Some people might pay good money to hang around in mazes but I don't get the feeling the Avengers would be amongst them.

Abducted by Kang, our super-doers find themselves separated, trapped in the labyrinth beneath Immortus' castle, with no way out and no choice but to roam its passageways until they find someone.

What they find are various members of the Legion of the Unliving who waste no time trying to do for them.

While Mantis and Hawkeye escape their respective confrontations unscathed, Don Blake's almost killed by Frankenstein's Monster until it occurs to him to turn back into Thor, Iron Man's seemingly killed by the Original Human Torch and, at the tale's climax, the Vision lies close to death, having had The Ghost pull the same materialising-inside-you stunt on him that the Vision usually pulls on others.

Meanwhile, in Vietnam, strange things are afoot with the Swordsman's ghost...

Rarely have things looked so grim for our heroes as they seemed destined to die, one by one, in Kang's inescapable trap.

Admittedly, it'd do their cause good if they actually tried activating their brains at some point. I'm really not sure at all why, at a time of high danger, Thor decides to change back to Don Blake. He claims it's because Don Blake might have more hope of escaping Kang's labyrinth than Thor does but it's hard to see why he'd think that. It's also hard to see why, having made the change, he tries to fight Frankenstein's Monster while still in his Don Blake guise.

Then again, Thor starts off the issue knowing that Kang's behind it all but, within a few pages, seems to have totally forgotten Kang's behind it all.

It does feel wrong to see the original Human Torch as part of the Legion of the Unliving. Obviously plotter Steve Englehart flung him into the mix because he knows the Vision's the original Human Torch in remodelled form and, with Wonder Man in the team, the Torch might as well be there too.

But you can't get round the fact he just doesn't belong. The rest of the Legion of the Unliving are all to some degree misanthropes, while the Human Torch isn't. We're given the explanation that Kang somehow has control over them by virtue of being the one who revived them but - what with Torchie having been brought back and used for wrong-doing by the Mad Thinker in Fantastic Four Annual #4, and now this - of Marvel's classic Golden Age trinity, he does seem to have been the one most poorly served by later writers.

Still, you can't knock the drama of it all, with poor old Don Blake nearly coming a cropper, Iron Man seemingly deceased and the Vision on the verge of death at the issue's climax, it's beginning to look like one of those days when nothing can go right for our heroes.

They might be up against the Legion of the Unliving but, at this rate, the tag, "Legion of the Unliving," could end up being a fit description for the Avengers too.

PS. Don't forget to vote in our six-armed Spidey poll. You never know, lives may one day depend on it.

Avengers #131. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 7. The Legion of the Unliving.

2011-10-03T21:05:00.000+01:00

It might sometimes feel like the life of a super-hero is like mine - non-stop action. But it seems that even super-doers can have their hiatuses.

And Avengers #131 is just that, as the team have probably their least action-packed day ever.

Their tribulations with the Titanic Trio over and done with, the team hang around in Saigon, with not a lot to do but take stock of just where they're at in their lives. The Vision mulls over his love triangle with Mantis, Mantis mulls over her claimed destiny as the Celestial Madonna, Hawkeye mulls over where he fits in with the group as they are now.

And Captain America...?

Well, Captain America reappears from nowhere, in a silly costume and calling himself Nomad. It'd be nice to say his guise as Nomad lends him a certain dignity but the truth is that, looking at him, it wouldn't be a surprise if instead of "Nomad" he'd renamed himself Captain Cheesy, so corny does he look. And let's face it, it takes something special to make a man who normally runs around wearing a flag look cornier than usual.

Someone who'll never be normal is of course Kang the Conqueror who's in no mood for mulling. He and Rama-Tut have been plucked from their fight in the time-stream and taken to the castle of Immortus.

Immortus is, as long-standing fans will recall, the King of Limbo. Sadly, this doesn't mean he's the world champion at dancing under a horizontal pole.

It does mean that, like Kang, he's had past doings with the Avengers.

And this means that, within moments of meeting, Kang and Immortus have agreed to an alliance and, using Immortus' equipment, Kang brings the Avengers to the catacombs beneath Immortus' castle, where they'll have to face the Legion of the Unliving, a group of battlers Kang's constructed from the ranks of deceased super-beings.

From the point of view of our heroes it's a strangely low-key issue. Up until the final two pages, when they're abducted, the only excitement most of them get is right at the start of the tale when Mantis gets to kick-up a mugger. And you have to hand it to the mugger; there can't be many street-crooks optimistic enough to try and rob the Avengers.

But even now, all is not quiet, as a figure appears at one point who seems to be the late Swordsman.

And just who is that hooded mystery-man lurking in the shadows?

Iron Man meanwhile is as much use as a wet paper bag, as he refuses to give the Vision any advice on his love-life. He's Tony Stark: international playboy womaniser. Has all that womanising taught him nothing of the ways of lurv?

But, with the Avengers in introspective mood, the focus is all on Kang as he refuses to accept he's going to reform, and sets about his latest scheme. You do wonder how block-headed he is that, even when knowing Rama-Tut is his future self, he still won't listen to any of his warnings.

I do like the Legion of the Unliving. The grouping of Frankenstein's Monster, the original Human Torch, Wonder Man, Midnight, the Ghost and Baron Zemo is so disparate it could only occur if justified by them all being not alive. And I'm especially happy to see Midnight back - not least because he looks remarkably like my own legendary super-hero The Masked Manhunter.

But can the Avengers possibly overcome such odds as a load of dead men?

Only time will tell.

But wait, there is no time in Immortus' Limbo.

Now we're in lumber.

Limbo lumber.

With linguistic skills like that, God alone knows why they won't let me write comic books.

October 1971.

2011-10-02T19:11:00.000+01:00

It might still feel like the middle of summer for people in some of parts of the UK but that can't change the fact that September's over and we're firmly into the month for ghosties and ghoulies.

But, like ghosts, several of our favourite Marvel titles disappeared in October 1971, only to reappear in November. No Thor, no Avengers, no Daredevil. I can only assume this had something to do with Marvel switching to a greater page-count for their titles, and some creators therefore not being able to meet the deadline.

Needless to say, such trials and tribulations for some of our heroes didn't put the rest of them off their fighting.

There're those who hate the six-armed Spider-Man storyline. There're those who love it.

Count me in the, "love it," camp. As far as I'm concerned, a man can never have too many arms - especially if he's coming up against the first-ever appearance of Morbius the living vampire.

Throw in an appearance from the loathsome Lizard and a great Gil Kane cover and what more could you demand of a comic?

Every time I do one of these monthly round-ups, the Grey Gargoyle seems to be on the cover of Captain America and the Falcon. How did they ever manage to get such a prolonged story-line out of such a workaday villain?

Barry Smith's Conan the Barbarian takes on a real-life Bull God.

Was this the story that ends with Conan's friend being hanged to death? If it was, you've got to hand it to Roy Thomas. That's potent stuff for a 1970s' comic book.

For all those fed up of the Thing turning against his team-mates, the Fantastic Four #115 sees Mr Fantastic turning against his team-mates.

Is next issue the one where the Invisible Girl turns against her team-mates?

Actually, I think it's the one where Dr Doom takes over leadership of the FF. That's the only part of the Over-Mind saga I've ever read.

Speaking of Doomsie, it's amazing he had time to take over leadership of anything, seeing as he already had his hands full trying to turn the Hulk into a living bomb.

I've no idea what happens in this one but it looks like another forgettable foe for our armoured Avenger.

The X-Men vs Dominus.

I assume he's called that because he likes to dominate people, not because he likes to play dominoes.

I really don't have a clue what happens in this one either. I've never even heard of Dominus. I take it they never invited him back?

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 9: Phantom Stranger #29.

2011-10-01T22:04:00.000+01:00

Follow me into strange worlds - for I am Steve What Does Comics, and many are the comics I never had as a child.

This time out, in the feature the whole world's talking about, it's The Phantom Stranger #29 that comes under scrutiny.

Keen readers of this blog'll know I was a bit of a Phantom Stranger fan, even though he hardly ever did anything apart from appearing from behind bushes to give people a futile lecture before disappearing again.

However, there was an issue of The Phantom Stranger that I always wanted but never had.

And this was it.

My finely honed senses tell me it features an evil doll.

"And don't forget, when your elders neglect to say their prayers, grab 'em by the legs and throw them down the stairs."
Siouxsie Sioux.

In fact, the Grand Comics Database tells me it features, "The Devil Dolls of Dr Z," which implies there were more than one of them - and that none of them were very nice.

Speaking as someone who remembers, with the appropriate level of dread, the killer troll doll in Dr Who's Terror of the Autons, and thinks Karen Black's homicidal Zuni fetish doll in A Trilogy of Terror is a journey into fear that only the strongest can survive, I'm always going to be hooked by tales of evil dolls - even if I won't be able to sleep afterwards for fear of what my own treasured dollies might do to me while I'm insensible.

But rarely has a comic book cover flung such an air of malice and menace in the face of a potential reader as this one did. And rarely therefore have I felt so compelled to buy a comic as I would've done had it ever appeared in front of me, demanding to be bought.

Avengers #130. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 6.

2011-09-30T19:42:00.001+01:00

This is the tale that puts the Clobber into clobber as we get a tale involving no less than four characters in armour - although a fan of such apparel might be less pleased to discover the character who comes across as toughest has no shielding at all. And that's Thor who gives both Iron Man and Titanium Man a lesson in what brute force really is.

At Mantis' prompting, the Avengers go to Vietnam to lay the Swordsman to rest at the Temple of Pama, and then roam the streets of Saigon trying to find out if her memories of growing up there are reliable.

They aren't, and it's becoming increasingly clear that Libra's version of her origin was true.

But the Avengers have more immediate problems.

Thinking the group are there to arrest him, a villain called the Slasher decides to set the Titanium Man, Crimson Dynamo and Radioactive Man on them, telling them the Avengers have tried to frame him for a diamond theft. The trio are now working for the communist government and don't appreciate the Western heroes flinging their weight around on their turf. Needless to say it all leads to a punch-up.

But oh dear, the Avengers are not in a happy place - and I don't just mean Vietnam - what with Mantis still not knowing who or what she is, the Vision convinced his recent tendency to freeze under pressure means he's going mad, the Scarlet Witch still jealous of Mantis, Thor and Iron Man coming to blows over the difference between justice and revenge, and the Swordsman dead.

Admittedly, the Swordsman's problem's somewhat bigger than those of the other Avengers but at least he gets a nice send-off.

I said that Thor gives both Iron Man and Titanium a bashing for their impertinence in taking him on - and he does but more important is that he's effectively the peace-maker of the day, looking for rational solutions to conflict where others just want to solve everything with a smack in the kisser. It's at times like this that his superiority over mere mortals really shows through.

One of the images that leaps out at me reading this issue is Agatha Harkness sitting in on an Avengers meeting; bringing to mind all those tales of Yoko Ono sitting in on Beatles recording sessions and annoying the other members by eating their biscuits. I sincerely hope Aggie's not in the habit of nibbling on Thor's Garibaldis.

The Titanic Three? I hope there're no icebergs in Saigon.

But of course the main novelty of the tale's the sight of the Avengers coming up against a communist super-group made up of what're normally villains. Clearly Steve Englehart's going for a bit of undisguised metaphor here as, motivated by a middle man, the representatives of two world-views take each other on with a level of hostility and distrust that's not at all necessary.

Whether Radio, Crimso and Tit, as I don't like to know them, are still villains is open to question. As you'd expect from their background, they certainly don't come across as the nicest people on Earth, but they do seem to be operating to a moral code that's been previously alien to them, punishing a man who's killed his wife, and wanting nothing to do with the Slasher once they discover he's a thief.

You have to say the Slasher's a genuinely nasty piece of work, leaving a trail of battered and hacked up people behind him. The sight of blood flying from innocent bystanders as he attacks them is genuinely unpleasant and, for some of us, feels like too real a level of violence to belong in what's mostly an escapist comic.

But just why is the Slasher referred to as "Buzzsaw" at one point? Is that his civilian identity's nickname, or did Steve Englehart just get confused? Maybe it's just me but "Buzzsaw" - bearing in mind the potential double meaning of his more usual title - would've been a better name for him than "the Slasher".

But then what do I know? Apart from that time I was wounded by shrapnel in Vietnam and had to fight my way out, I've never even worn a suit of armour.

Swamp Thing vs Man-Thing: Poll Results.

2011-09-29T19:23:00.000+01:00

As the swamps of Sheffield bask in the hottest late September since records began, it's that time of day when I have to stop wrestling with that alligator, stop tying that anaconda in knots and concentrate instead on the matter at hand -- because the swamptastic results of our mudtacular poll are in.

And you The Public have decided that DC's Swamp Thing is better than Marvel's not at all similar Man-Thing - with Swampy winning by fourteen votes to nine. As you wouldn't expect for such an un-nimble character, Man-Thing got off to a racing start but, slowly, Swamp Thing caught up with him and overtook him.

Having only read one issue of Swamp Thing but numerous issues of Mike Ploog's Man-Thing, I can't deny that when it comes to scientists turned into mud monsters after jumping into a swamp when their work on a secret formula was sabotaged, I have a bias in favour of Ted Sallis' carrot nosed alter-ego and am therefore disappointed not to see him triumph.

Click me to go here!

On the other hand, given the reverence people tend to have for Bernie Wrightson's Swamp Thing, I did fear Manny wouldn't get a single vote apart from my own. And so, seeing Swampy at least put up a good fight, gives me great cheer.

Of course, all true lovers of things that go glump in the night know the pair of them'd be flattened by the Glob from the old Hulk comics.

But clearly that's a poll for another day.

Giant-Size Avengers #2. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 5.

2011-09-28T20:17:00.002+01:00

Sometimes you can't help wondering how Kang the Conqueror keeps track of who he is at any one time.

Tipped off that the Avengers have been abducted by Kang, Hawkeye rushes to the Avengers Mansion, to be met by the Swordsman and Rama-Tut.

It seems Rama-Tut's a later version of Kang who, tired of endless conflict, returned to Ancient Egypt to reclaim his throne before deciding to prevent his former self from acquiring the Celestial Madonna. For that end, he had himself sealed in his tomb, in a state of suspended animation, until the time was right for him to awaken.

The trio set off to stop Kang's attempts to start World War Three but first have to defeat Kang's Macrobots, each of which contains and is powered by a paralysed Avenger.

Once that's finally achieved, Rama-Tut tackles Kang who refuses to listen to sense. The physical clash between the pair causes the walls of Time to break down, allowing Kang to see it's Mantis who's destined to be the Celestial Madonna.

The villain decides that if he can't have her, no one can and tries to kill her but the Swordsman flings himself at the shot and, as Rama-Tut and Kang vanish, fighting, the Avengers are left to ruminate on the death of their fallen colleague.

Hooray! Hawkeye's back! He may be the second-least powerful member the Avengers have ever had - and not always have the best of attitudes - but, like Hank Pym, he's always felt like one of the things that makes the Avengers the Avengers. Although I suppose the fact that he returns in an issue whose cover promises us the death of an Avenger tips us off as to who that Avenger'll be. Let's face it, they're not going to bring Hawkeye back as the natural replacement for Thor, Iron Man or the Vision.

That means it can only be the Swordsman who cops it and, at last, the poor sucker gets to be the hero he's dreamed of being. And finally, after spending chunks of the issue insulting him, Mantis comes to appreciate him.

It's interesting that on the page where Kang and Rama-Tut's fight breaks down the fabric of Time, not only do we get to see all of Iron Man's previous incarnations and Hank Pym's but we also get to see Dr Doom, leaving us in no doubt that Kang, Rama-Tut, The Scarlet Centurion and Doom are all supposed to be the same character. Apparently Doom was also going to be on the cover, alongside the other two but the idea was dropped. If we take it that Doom is indeed the same character as them, it does raise all sorts of questions of just where he fits in their various time-lines.

Also wanting to know where they fit in are Mantis and the Scarlet Witch. Held prisoner in large glass tubes, still not sure which of them's the Celestial Madonna, the fate of the world hung in the balance, it's good to see the pair of them showing their sense of perspective by bickering over which of them's the Vision's girlfriend. They really do come across as stunningly up their own backsides in these exchanges. Still, at least Wanda compensates to some degree by finally stopping being useless and flattening Thor with a meteor.

PS. Does anyone know if Neal Adams had a hand in the inking? Dave Cockrum gets sole art credit in the issue but there're certain panels where the inks have a noticeably Neal Adams vibe to them, not least in the last three panels and also the full-page splash where the Avengers combine to attack the Thor-powered Macrobot.

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 8: Batman meets the Spectre. Brave and the Bold #116.

2011-09-27T18:52:00.000+01:00

Once more Steve Does Comics casts off the icy grip of the grave, whips out its Ouija and returns from beyond the veil to look at another comic I always wanted as a kid but never owned.

This time it's the meeting of DC's two finest men of mystery, as Batman teams up with the Spectre to fight whatever forces it is they're up against.

As a kid, I loved Batman and I loved the Spectre. Thanks to The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, I also loved murderous multi-armed goddesses. I loved Jim Aparo and I loved 100 page comics. So, when you put all that together on one cover, how was I ever not going to be drawn to The Brave and the Bold #116?

Although I never had it as a kid, I read this tale a few months ago, online, and was somewhat disappointed with it, as Batman and the Spectre acted like old buddies and even knew each other's secret identities. It has to be said the Spectre presented here seemed far removed from the totally unknown Vengeance of God character I knew from the Michael Fleisher Adventure Comics tales.

But then, I don't suppose that version of the character would even have wasted his time teaming up with Batman.

Avengers #129. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 4.

2011-09-26T19:59:00.002+01:00

Way back in the early-to-mid-1980s, Madonna Louise Ciccone might've been singing about her Lucky Star but, in The Avengers #129, her Celestial counterpart gets her very own star - right above the Avengers Mansion.

To some this might seem like a good thing, as all that light spilling from it into the mansion'll save the Avengers a fortune on electricity.

But it only brings trouble, as Kang the Conqueror takes its appearance as his cue to launch an attack on our derring-doers.

It seems that, whoever the Celestial Madonna's to be, her child's going to be the most powerful being in the Universe and, like the unassuming soul he is, Kang's decided that if anyone's going to be father to that child, it's going to be him.

So he defeats the Avengers with ridiculous ease, captures the Scarlet Witch, Mantis and Agatha Harkness - in case one of them's suitable material to be the next Mrs Kang - and whisks them all off to Egypt where he's set up base in the pyramid of his earlier incarnation Rama-Tut.

Being the insensitive brute he is, Kang doesn't bother capturing the Swordsman, who he deems to not be worthy of his attention; leaving Swordy to make his own way to Egypt, under the captive Agatha Harkness' mystic guidance. Unfortunately, just as he's about zap Kang, he's stopped by someone who declares himself to be Rama-Tut.

I suppose the main thought this issue raises is what's going on in Kang's head? Not knowing who the Celestial Madonna's going to be, he captures all three women who're present at the Avengers Mansion - including the not exactly youthful Agatha Harkness. I don't like to be ageist but, really, what're the chances that a woman who looks like she'll never see 100 again is going to be one he's after? And what's he going to do if she is?

From one thing that doesn't bear thinking about to one man who doesn't get thought about. And that's the Swordsman. The former villain continues his long decline into psychic collapse as he now has to battle on, knowing that both the woman he loves and the Avengers' deadliest foe view him as beneath consideration.

Not only that but, as the issue nears its climax, he has to overcome the knowledge that he's only still alive to see it because a vampire he's encountered in Rama-Tut's pyramid couldn't be bothered to kill him when it saw more appetising prey. I know from personal experience that it rarely does a man's self-esteem good to know he's not even viewed as a worthwhile meal.

Still, there is at least hope at the end of the tale that he can turn it round.

But just who is that man claiming to be Rama-Tut - and how can he be there if Kang is too?

Only Steve Englehart and the next instalment of our thrilling serial can tell us.

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 7: Swamp Thing #5.

2011-09-25T10:56:00.000+01:00

Glug, gluggle glog and slurg; bubbling like a mad thing, Steve Does Comics emerges from the swamp to list the latest comic it always wanted as a child but never possessed.

I only ever had one issue of DC's Swamp Thing - and this wasn't it. The one I had was, if I remember correctly, the penultimate issue and drawn by Nestor Redondo. While the inside of that comic was a beautiful thing to look at, the cover was pretty run of the mill.

Swamp Thing #5 on the other hand, I have no idea what it looks like inside but you can't ignore the thing it's wrapped in.

Actually this is the first time I've ever seen it in colour as, at the time, I'd only ever encountered it via those one-page ads DC used to run where they'd post a picture of five or six random titles they had out that month, while reproducing them with a seriously strange colour scheme. Therefore I had no inkling as to how brightly-coloured parts of the cover really are.

Still, even if I'd have preferred it to be more darkly lit, the sheer dramatic composition of Bernie Wrightson's image - with its echoes of old Universal horror films, and Swampy bursting out of the frame itself to do some serious smiting - was more than enough to sell me on the thing.

All of this inevitably raises one obvious question. And that's the subject of the site's latest life-or-death poll which can be found in the life-or-death sidebar to the right of this life-or-death blog.

Avengers #128. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 3.

2011-09-23T20:09:00.000+01:00

If you should always know which witch is which witch, you should always know never to let anyone mystically seal you off in a room until cock crows.

Sadly, the Scarlet Witch fails to heed this advice as, after returning from the wedding of her brother to Crystal of the Inhumans, she agrees to let the Fantastic Four's nanny Agatha Harkness tutor her in the real ways of witchcraft.

Needless to say, trouble soon follows. Within moments of Harkness magically isolating the pair of them in the Avengers Mansion, they're attacked by a demon called Necrodamus who's after their souls.

With Harkness and her familiar knocked out, the Scarlet Witch is forced to defeat the demon on her own, using her hex power for an unprecedented fourth time in one fight, at which point it becomes clear the whole battle was set up by Harkness as part of the Witch's first lesson.

Meanwhile, on the nookie front, Mantis finally gets round to telling her supposed beloved The Swordsman to sling his hook, and then wastes no time coming on to the Vision.

The course of true lust rarely runs smooth though and, before she can make a serious stab at getting her leg over, a mysterious star appears from nowhere above the Avengers' Mansion, flooding the place with light.

When the Avengers rush outside, they're confronted by Kang who declares he's going to conquer the 20th Century. And there's nothing anyone can do to can stop him! Nothing!

With this tale, the emphasis suddenly shifts from Mantis and onto her love-rival the Scarlet Witch. It's not before time. She's been in the strip for years by this point and for the most part's been next to useless, spending most of their fights stood around trying to conserve a power that rarely achieves anything beyond annoying a foe. Clearly writer Steve Englehart's decided it's time to beef up her powers so she'll actually be more use in a life or death struggle than I would. She still comes across as fairly useless in the fight with Necrodamus but at least she comes out on top in the end, even if it's more by luck than judgement.

On the art front, the combination of Sal Buscema and Charlton Comics' stalwart Joe Staton's an odd one. Buscema always had a somewhat flat and simple style, with Staton having a more quirky, cluttered look and plenty of contrast between light and shade. At times his inks threaten to overwhelm Buscema's pencils while adding visual depth to them. It's not an off-putting combination but it's likewise not a natural one either.

Mantis really is coming across as a first class biyatch by now, callously dismissing the Swordsman's desperate declarations of love, while on her way to take advantage of Wanda's absence by coming on to the Vision.

But you have to hand it to Kang. How many times over the years has he turned up declaring he's about to conquer the 20th Century and that nothing can stop him, only for him to be sent packing five minutes later, with his tail between his legs? And still he never gives up hope.

One can only hope the Scarlet Witch can show equal sticking power in her romantic struggles with her love-rival.

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 6: Batman Limited Collector's Edition.

2011-09-22T19:49:00.001+01:00

While Mantis takes a breather, pondering the twists and turns of her battle with the Star-Stalker, it's time for me to slide down the Batpole of Nostalgia, into the Batcave of Reverie, into the Batmobile of Memory and out onto the streets of Comicdom City to consider yet another mag I always wanted as a kid but never got.

You may just have guessed from my subtle intro that this time out it's Batman and his Limited Collector's Edition.

Sadly, even though I was indeed a limited collector, I never managed to come by a copy of it.

But one look at that Neal Adams cover, showing Batman running around in mud, when he should've had the sense to make Alfred do that, should be enough to explain why I wanted it.

Nor was the cover the only secret of its allure. If the accompanying blurb was to be believed, the mag had 6 spine-tingling stories, 3 super-size pin-ups, a guide on how to draw Batman, and yet another 3D diorama cut-out.

I'm telling you; if only I'd had all those collector's editions, my life would've been so 3D that I'd've ended up with a sense of depth that would've left me thinking Radiohead sounded like Wham.