Amazing Spider-Man #2. A cellar-full of aliens.

As I roam the streets of Sheffield, people say to me, "Steve, why're you roaming the streets of Sheffield? Why aren't you at home, listening to The Organist Entertains on Radio 2?"

I tell them, "I can't. My radio's knackered."

"Then why don't you take it to a repair shop?" they say. "I hear the prices can be highly reasonable."

"Because," I point out, "I live in fear that aliens might put listening devices in it that they'd then use to learn secrets vital to the security of the Earth."

"But, Steve," they say, "you're poor and ignorant. What could you possibly know that could help aliens?"

I just tap the side of my nose, knowingly, and walk off into the night, as the gasometers beyond the Wicker Arches loom ever closer.

If only Doctor Cobbwell had had my sense but, in Amazing Spider-Man #2, devoid of my innate understanding of the dangers of cheap repair shops, he's taken his mighty wireless to the Tinkerer to be mended. It's only when he sends his part-time science-lackey Peter Parker to collect it for him that the truth of the Tinkerer's scheme is unearthed.

Tipped off by his Spider-Sense that all's not well with the radio, Spidey soon discovers an alien plot of exactly the kind I described above.

Happily, despite almost being vacuumed to death, our hero makes short work of the aliens, and the world is free once more to listen to Janice Long in peace.

As we all know, it was compulsory for all Marvel heroes to face aliens as soon as possible after their creation, and Amazing Spider-Man #2 is where Spidey gets his turn. Compared to Thor's battle with the Stone Men from Saturn, it's low-key stuff. In truth it's even low-key compared to the Hulk's less than pulse-pounding early scrap with the Toad Men. But that doesn't rob it of its essential charm. Mostly thanks to Steve Ditko's artwork, this has always been one of my favourite early Spider-Man tales.

I'm fully aware there're people out there who think the Terrible Tinkerer story is very silly and, being about aliens, has no place in a strip supposedly rooted in the real world, like Spider-Man is. And those people are probably right but, as far as I'm concerned, if Spider-Man can have adventures with Killraven and Red Sonja, there's no reason he can't fight aliens.

Sadly, years later it was retconned that the aliens weren't really aliens at all. They were just a bunch of petty crooks, including a young Mysterio, who were in the habit of dressing as and talking like aliens just in case anyone snuck into their underground lair and overheard their plans.

On top of that, we were told the Tinkerer, who, here, at the climax, is revealed to be an alien too, was merely wearing a mask of his own face to disguise the fact that he was really who he seemed to be all along.

I would say this is the worst retcon you could possibly imagine - attempting to explain away a silly story by coming up with an explanation that's actually sillier than the story you're trying to explain away. But I should never forget the average comic book company's infinite capacity for generating terrible retcons, and so I wouldn't risk so bold a statement.

What I am happy to risk saying is that I don't care what any later tales said. As far as I'm concerned, in May 1963, the amazing Spider-Man came up against a bunch of aliens and sent them packing, even if one of them did think he was really Mysterio. I like to feel space travel can have that sort of effect on an alien. And you know what? I'm sure Janice Long does too.