So, in the absence of having any current affairs and showbiz news to talk about, let's leap straight in and see if I can successfully pretend to know what was going on in the pages of our favourite comics company, during that seven day period.
I really don't have a clue what's happening on that cover. Princess Leia seems to be about to brain a child who's planting a flower. I always knew she was a wrong 'un.
Then again, I don't have a clue what's happening inside the book either. Clearly, Warlock and the Micronauts are in it but what are these special bonus features, of which the blurb boasts?
Based on previous experience, I would assume that one of them's likely to be a Tales of the Watcher story.
If I was right about the above, it means the Watcher's a very busy man at the moment because he's also got a story in this comic.
This time, he's asking, "What if Spider-Man had joined the Fantastic Four?"
I don't have a clue what would have happened but, given the track record of What If? stories, I doubt such a circumstance would have ended happily.
And, with this issue, the Watcher gets even busier still because he pops up with the tale that demands, "What If the Hulk Had Always Had Bruce Banner's Brain?"
Apparently, according to this, he would have teamed up with Reed Richards, in order that they could conduct experiments together.
Whether this is before or after Spider-Man joins the FF is anyone's guess.
Meanwhile, in the main Hulk strip, Bruce Banner's still trapped on an island belonging to a High Evolutionary wannabe.
Back in New York, Ant-Man's still up against the man who's out to make people age dramatically, in order to disguise the fact he's lost his job.
In the Andes, things go totally bonkers when a SHIELD agent decides its a good idea to throw an atom bomb at a Celestial.
I'm sorry but what kind of training are they giving these people?
Behaving far more responsibly, Night-Raven's still up against the Chinese Tongs.
The Black Knight's still on a quest that's going nowhere.
And Nick Fury's up to something or other.
The eagle-eyed observer will note that this issue bears the wrong cover date of June 17th instead of the 27th.
It looks like we're getting a reprint of Tomb of Dracula #58 which doesn't feature Dracula at all. Instead, Blade helps a friend whose wife's been possessed by a vampire.
Granted, that story doesn't feature a legion of vampires either, so I'm assuming the claim on the cover is mere hyperbole by the copy writer.
Then again, it could be a totally different tale and Marvel UK may just be using the wrong cover for it.
Oddly I remember this week's Star Wars tale very clearly. Not sure why, maybe I read it a few times or actually had the US issue.
ReplyDeleteLies is sent to a planet turned into a factory. An ex-something of hers lives there (mentor, teacher, lover, shrug) but no one on the planet knows about the rebellion.
She is supposed to teach them. The kid plants a flower which, I guess, gives the people hope. Pretty sure Tegge the Darth Vader wannabe who was the major villain at the time visits the planet and hilarity ensues.
Thanks, Aggy. Sadly, it still doesn't ring any bells for me. Marvel's Star Wars stories really did make no impact on me.
ReplyDeleteSteve, in the Spidey "What If?" He actually gets to join the FF, a twist on the story from ASM #1. Sue thinks the team doesn't need her, and gets transformed into a fish-lady and stays with Namor. Reed gets bummed out.
ReplyDeleteThe story is actually very good, but that's it "in a nutshell".
Thanks, KD. Does this mean Spidey gets to fight Galactus?
ReplyDeleteI fragging LOVED early "What If?" books. Talk about conflict & turmoil. They usually had me sit back and pause after reading, muttering a low "Wow...".
ReplyDeleteI wish they would've created a shared alternate universe with the characters/situations from the early part of the series.
Spidey in the FF had fantastic possibilities (Foghorn Leghorn voice, "I say, I say, that's a joke, son!")
I would've bought a Armored Avengers book every month. Hank Pym coulve been called the Iron-Giant (YEARS before the animated film), Jan the Iron-Wasp or Iron-Sting (kinda like that one), and Rick Jones (alright everyone, all together now, "Uuggghhhh...!") could've been called Iron-Ghost, due to his armor's Vision-esque properties
So many potentially great stories, never to be written or drawn
Spidey versus Galactus would've been funny, done silver-age style. I think he would've confused the hell out of both Galactus and the Silver Surfer, or they'd just get so annoyed they'd leave earth thinking it wasn't worth it. Lol!
ReplyDeleteNo need for the Nullifier. Lol. Shorter story, definetly.
ReplyDeleteI can see it now. Spidey swinging around Galactus' head, webbing up his eyes and avoiding his cosmic-blasts, relentlessly joking away.
ReplyDelete"INSESSIVE INSECT!!", Galactus bellows.
The Watcher shaking his head, thinking "I never saw this coming..." Lol.
Pete could've moved Aunt May to the Baxter Building, so she wouldn't have to worry about bills any more. Sue would get tired of Namor's anger management issues and ask Reed to cure her water-breathing habit.
ReplyDeleteLike I said, so many potential stories.
As long we be talking about alternate universes, anyone read Marvel Zombies??? Now that one I only read while hanging out in the comic book store. But man oh man, I had the experience of being a kid again. Really grabbed me. Especially when someone took a bite out of Aunt May and the zombie Avengers kept Black Panther alive but tied up and would for whatever reason, I think they were desperate to eat a bit of human or would die, take a slice of him. Over. The. Top.!!!
ReplyDeleteNice thing about being in your 50s is the kids behind the counter don't say things like "Hey, this ain't a library, Chumley!" LOL
CH47, oh my brother!
ReplyDeleteMarvel Zombies were remotely interesting to me, just as the "Initiative" storyline, Red Hulk, Ulimates, etc I've come across in the last 20 years.
Liking to keep tabs on our favorite heroes, I've been mostly dismayed by their current treatment.
Silver, golden and bronze are clearly my speed. Guess I'm an an old geezer. There's just so many stories from back-n-the-day that I never got to read. With better writers and artists to boot. I pretty much have no interest in wasting what little life force I have left on new garbage.
I even have started (almost) getting a nostalgic fondness for FR*** R******.
Horde your canned goods, bottled water & gasoline now, oh my brothers. The apocalypse is coming.
I can only recall buying two issues of WHAT IF:
ReplyDeleteWhat If Dark Phoenix Had Not Died - this one ended with Jean Grey going totally insane and Dark Phoenix destroys the entire universe.
What If Iron Man Had Been Trapped In King Arthur's Time (an alternative to the events of Iron Man #150). This one ends with King Arthur's death and Tony Stark is crowned "King Anthony Of Britain" which was a sort of happy ending.
And I also remember reading What If Aunt May Had Been Bitten By The Radioactive Spider which wasn't entirely serious :D
I assume it was a back-up story in one of the aforementioned issues? Unless I was reading some other issue of WHAT IF that I've forgotten about.
Sadly, I never had any issues of What If? in my youth. I have read a handful of issues since then.
ReplyDeleteUK Dudes - Not sure how many of you are going to the Yankees- Red Sox baseball game in the UK but 24 quid for a 24" chili-cheese hotdog seems a bit steep! If you really want the "authentic" baseball thing... get yourself a coca cola and some of those absurdly salty dry roasted peanuts while watching the game!
ReplyDeleteSteve, oh my brother!!!
ReplyDeleteIn the immortal words of Johnny Rotten "Do yourself a favor" and read What If #3! "What If The Avengers Had Never Been!" Super-Duper scrumpdilly-umpscious screaming comic book kid eye-candy story mind-warp!!!
The timeline was between Avengers #2 and #3. Fragging excellent, featuring my boy Gil Kane, completely on top of his game. Incredible battle between Tony & his "Armored Avengers" against Hulk & Namor.
That issue hit me in the chest like a sledgehammer. Highly recommend.
You'd dig it as a former Ant-Man fan.
ReplyDeleteThere was a pretty compelling issue of What If where Korvac defeated the Avengers and the, uh, original Guardians of the Galaxy (before the tree guy and the trash panda). Korvac went on to take out everybody who was a big deal in the Marvel Universe. Then everybody else. Kind of a chilling story showing us what would happen if one of these cosmic wars got outta hand.
ReplyDeleteThe Guardians were a lot different in my day, dern it! Now get off my lawn!
M.P.
Kinda surprised Kd doesn't like twenty-first century Marvel, as they approach all their comics as if they were issues of What If? these days.
ReplyDeleteArmoured Avengers definitely sounds like some rebooted first issue with a new direction hat changed the team forever until the following year's #1; and setting the superheroes in Arthurian times could easily be some editorial geek's idea of a great crossover Event.
Come to think of it, wasn't Thor a woman in an old What If?
-sean
Yeah, Sean, Jane Foster found the hammer before Don Blake in a What If?.
DeleteOdin ended up fixing the situation, then ended up marrying Jane. Odin is a creepy old buzzard.
I read a couple of the newer Thor issues, and Jane was insistent that she truly was "Thor". It was a hit-you-over-the-head extreme feminist book.
In the What-If story Jane realized she had the power "of" Thor, and called herself Thordis. It was an entertaining read.
Speaking of Thor... does Don Blake exist anymore?
ReplyDeleteAnd, does that 60-second separation rule apply still?
I recall at some point over the last 5 decades that I got the impression that Don Blake had disappeared. I mean, as a practical matter, how could Don disappear for weeks / months at a time to go fight Loki or Trolls or whatever and still be a board-certified doc?
And if Don is still around, is he still gimp?
Help ole Charlie out boys! Bring him up to speed!
"Extreme feminist book"? Seriously?
ReplyDeleteDon't recall too much of the couple of female Thor issues I tried, but they hardly hit me over the head; and I very much doubt Marvel have ever published an extreme feminist book.
Charlie, last I read Thor regularly was during the 80s Simonson years, which ditched Don Blake and all that; but the way superhero comics seem to work is that series change direction, but some writer or editor eventually decides to go back to basics and returns to the "classic" version.
So it would be odd if Thor never became Blake again at some point...
-sean