The Marvel Lucky Bag - December 1969.

Only two records claimed the Number One spot on the UK singles chart in December 1969.

The first was Sugar Sugar by the Archies. The second was Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris.

Needless to say, I'll move swiftly on from that point but I will add that Kenny Rogers must have felt a bit fed-up, as his track Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town spent the entire month stuck at Number Two.

Amazingly, on the last chart before Christmas Day, there was not one Christmas song in the Top 50. The nearest we got to anything with any kind of relevance to the season was the presence, at Number 44, of the Hollies.

Admittedly, despite the band's Christmassy name, the record itself was not at all topical, being He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.

Over on the album chart, the Beatles began the month at Number One, with Abbey Road, before the Rolling Stones' Let it Bleed deposed them.

However, the Stones' triumph over their old rivals was short-lived, as, the following week, Abbey Road once more ascended to the top and stayed there for the rest of the month, making it the Christmas Number One for that year. Not that anyone ever talks about the Christmas Number One when it comes to LPs.

That month, the cinemas of the world unleashed upon us A Boy Named Charlie Brown, Hello, Dolly!, They Shoot Horses, Don't They? and something called The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes which starred Kurt Russell. As you'd possibly guess from the title, it was a Disney movie and, even though I've never heard of it, it spawned two sequels, both starring Kurt Russell.

Rick Jones moves into a block of flats whose sociologist landlord wants to torture his tenants to death, so he can make a fortune from writing a book about how he did it.

I'm not sure he's thought this plan through, as the book would be a confession to mass murder.

Still, in the end, it doesn't matter, because Captain Marvel's on hand to give him the good flattening he deserves.

Chamber of Darkness unveils its second, diabolical, issue. In it, an escaped prisoner is replaced by a four-armed alien, a shaving man sees a ghostly face in his mirror, and we get a modern-day retelling of The Masque of the Red Death, set in a concrete bunker.

Apparently, Hydra operatives follow Nick Fury around, in the hope he'll lead them to SHIELD's HQ.

Somehow, this leads to them being hypnotised into attacking completely the wrong building. Oh, Hydra, will you never learn?

No sooner is the Surfer reunited with his beloved Shalla-Bal than she suffers a potentially fatal injury which requires him to send her back to Zenn-La for medical treatment.

As the Surfer's repeatedly demonstrated the ability to resurrect the all-but dead, I'm not totally sure why he needs to send her back home, rather than curing her himself.

Hooray! Who doesn't love a good scrap between Namor and Doom?

As usual, Doomsie wants Subby to team up with him, in order that they can conquer the world together.

As usual, Subby doesn't like the idea.

As usual, it all ends in a punch-up.

More sobbing onto pillows ensues, as Our Love Story hits its second issue of unbridled lachrymosity.