War of the Worlds!

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

*** 

The War of the Worlds, that stark warning by HG Wells that the British might not rule the world forever, unless we get our act together and make sure we're all diseased up to the eyeballs.

Happily, the British government has learnt that lesson and is making sure no germ-fearing Martian would ever dare set foot in the UK right now.

Still, the tale has an allure that even time itself cannot diminish.

At least, that seems to be the case, judging by how many versions of it have been created over the years.

This site's comments section recently demanded I do a feature about that story and, so, here it is.

I'm fairly certain I first became aware of War of the Worlds through the 1953 Hollywood movie which transferred the tale to the United States and brought it forward to the Nuclear Age, so that even mankind's mightiest weapon of the 20th Century could be shown to be useless against such invaders.

Even to this day, I love that movie. We may be able to see the strings on the Martians' war machines but, with their nod towards manta rays and cobras, they remain things of beauty as they glide around, sedately slaughtering all they encounter.

And who can forget the remarkable sound effects that film employed? So remarkable that they've been recycled in various productions over the years.

But, of course, that wasn't the first dramatic adaptation of the book.

That was Orson Welles' radio version from 1938, which, legend has it, terrified the people of North America who didn't realise it was a drama and reacted with mass panic.

At least, that's the claim. Apparently, the number of people taken in, and the scale of their panic, has been greatly exaggerated, possibly by Welles himself, and it's doubtful that more than a handful of people really fled their homes or decided to start shooting at water towers in the belief they were under attack.

Still, it was enough to make Welles' reputation and pave the way for him to find even greater celebrity.

Hollywood made a second stab at a movie, in 2005, when Steven Spielberg pitted Tom Cruise up against the monsters. Although the film's a masterclass in how to direct such an adventure, its plot and characters were, for some of us, less than involving and many find it difficult to have affection for the film, despite its technical virtuosity. 

Almost simultaneously, Pendragon Pictures released their own version which, almost uniquely, stuck to the original story. The film, though, had a budget of approximately £5, starred no one you'd ever heard of and was likened, by critics, to the work of Ed Wood.

Speaking of quality, we shouldn't forget that those purveyors of fine films Asylum also gave us their take on the subject. I haven't seen it but it seems to have gained the same rapturous critical reception that all their productions do.

Inevitably, TV has refused to be left out and 1988 offered up a series starring Jared Martin, a man some of us used to know as, "The bloke with the tuning fork in Fantastic Journey." It would be true to say it was a venture carried out on the cheap, with the Martians having mysteriously gained the budget-saving power to adopt human form, and footage from the 1950s movie being recycled wherever humanly - or inhumanly - possible.

2013 presented us with The Great Martian War 1913-1917, a TV docudrama which rewrote World War One as a battle between Earth and the Martians, incorporating footage from the real-life conflict. 

British TV finally made a stab at its own adaptation in 2019 when the BBC gave us a three-part series that didn't have anything like the funds necessary and was often reduced to having characters tell us what had happened elsewhere, rather than being able to show us. It also used a terrible framing narrative that meant the series was repeatedly flashing back and forwards in a way most viewers seemed to find annoying.

In the same year, Fox and France's Canal+ also had a go at making a TV version; this time, set in modern-day Europe and starring Gabriel Byrne. It seems to have gone down better than its British counterpart, judging by the fact that a second season's been commissioned.

But this is a comics blog and, of course, comics have been willing to tackle the torment as well.

Probably most famously, Marvel gave us Killraven, a man who could change his name at will and thwart talking apes whenever necessary but, mostly, stuck to his usual name and fighting Martians.

Spectacularly verbose, the strip could, at times, be a tough read but, under the care of Don McGregor and Craig Russell, it was always memorable.

Not satisfied with that crack at the tale, Marvel also gave us a straight adaptation of Wells' original, in the pages of Classics Comics #14.

But, arguably, the most offbeat version was Jeff Wayne's distinctly onbeat musical adaptation that, despite keeping the 19th Century setting, brought the book well and truly into the Disco Age.

Released in 1978, and packed with stars like David Essex and Justin Hayward, the double LP soon charged its way up the UK album chart, going on to achieve 9x Platinum status.

Not only that but, in Australia, it went 10x Platinum and, in New Zealand, the thing went 13x Platinum!

Could nothing stop this musical behemoth?

Yes! The Atlantic could!

Because, despite its juggernaut performance in those other realms of the Anglosphere, in the United States, it peaked at 98 on the Top 200, making it, surely, the greatest example of an album failing to cross the Atlantic the world has ever seen. One can only assume it was rammed by the Thunder Child, mid-journey.

So, there you go; War of the Worlds.

After all these myriad adaptations, cash-ins and rip-offs, my favourite version of the tale remains the 1953 movie.

Granted, that might be because I've never actually read the book. I remember making an attempt to do so, during childhood, but losing patience with it when I discovered it didn't have any pictures. That's how sophisticated I am.

But you may have other ideas about what's the best version.

Then again, you may have encountered versions of the tale that I haven't mentioned.

Or you may just have thoughts on the subject in general.

If so, let your voice ring out loud in the comments section, as those church bells rang out when everyone suddenly realised the Martians had corked it.

"Those church bells rang out when everyone suddenly realised the Martians had corked it." Yes, I'm pretty sure that was the last line of the book.