Fifty years ago today - June 1974.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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They claim you can't turn back time but whoever They might be, they're total fools because we're about to do just that.

And it won't even cost us a penny!

It may, however, cost us our souls...

I'm struggling to remember what happens in this one.

In fact, I'm struggling so badly that it's making me suspect I've never even read it.

Regardless, it seems the Sub-Mariner's got his eye on Sue Richards again.

I predict that, as always, he will be foiled in his amphibious amorousness.

The Molten Man's still in a bad mood.

This is mostly because he's trying to find a cure for the condition that's turned him into a raging human inferno - and Spider-Man, for no good reason, keeps trying to prevent him from finding one.

The Avengers find themselves up against a space-dragon thingy called the Star-Stalker, as the Celestial Madonna Saga rumbles on.

Does this one take place in a Vietnamese temple? I feel like it does.

I'm pretty sure I've never read this one and, therefore, have no idea what happens in it but, if this is the Secret Empire storyline, does that mean the man in the silly-looking hood is President Nixon?

Also, how have I got it into my head that Nixon is involved in the Secret Empire storyline?

It would appear the X-Men play a role in this tale but I don't know in what capacity.

Happily, I'm far more clued up about this one.

That's because it was reprinted in Marvel UK's 1977 Avengers Annual and I can confirm the cover accurately depicts what happens inside. Conan must come to the rescue when a giant crocodile threatens to nibble on the latest nubile young woman to enter the barbarian's life.

No sooner has he returned to New York than Daredevil's once more tackling the forces of Black Spectre.

But, shock upon shock, it turns out that all of its soldiers are women with tattoos!

How can our hero hope to defeat women with tattoos?

And things go from bad to worse when the Black Widow is mind-controlled into working for the organisation - whose leader turns out to be that sexy baboon of bad intent the Mandrill!

The Hulk's on Counter-Earth and having a barney with the President and his horde of beast-men.

It, of course, all leads to an encounter with Adam Warlock in which the Biblical parallels bash us over the head until we can't possibly fail to notice them.

Back on Earth, Glenn Talbot escapes from his Soviet captors.

But is there more to his escape than meets the eye?

I know nothing of this one, other than what's featured on the cover.

And that means we get the return of the Unicorn and Sunfire - and, it seems, a new mask for Iron Man!

Also, the presence of Sunfire suggests to me that this one likely takes place in Japan.

The Destroyer's back - and causing all kinds of mischief. I don't know why he's back and I don't know why Hercules is involved in it all.

I am going to hazard a guess, though, that this is the tale which leads to Thor suggesting the Destroyer should become a new herald for Galactus.

For some reason, this leads me to guess that it's going to end up in the Hudson river.

And we complete our look at Marvel with an absolutely terrible tale in which the X-Men must tackle Frankenstein's Monster when it comes out of hibernation and goes on the rampage.

But what's this? Things aren't what they seem? And it is in fact, a space robot?

Mary Shelley must be turning in her space grave.

That looks like a comprehensive assessment of Marvel's offerings, to me.

But what of the other lot? The ones perpetually locked in a power struggle with Marvel? The ones the world knows as DC? Just what do they have to offer us in a random sampling of their comics which bear that month as their cover date?

I do suspect this may have been the first issue of Batman I ever owned.

And what a way to start, as we're presented with 100 pages of fledermausian frolics.

For a start, when Robin decides to investigate shenanigans at a circus, it's not long before his billionaire mentor also gets involved and it turns out Catwoman's caught up in it too!

But let's all hold our horses - and our tigers - because it turns out she's not the villain of the piece!

But there's more.

Thanks to the power of reprints, the dynamic duo find themselves having to survive an island populated by robot dinosaurs, we explore what would have happened had an animal other than a bat blundered into view when Bruce Wayne was trying to decide upon a guise in which to fight crime, Batman must tackle a villain fixated with pennies, we discover the significance of a bullet-proof vest, meet a villain called Dr Doom, explore the Secret of Batman Island and take a look at the history of Catwoman's costumes.

I think that lot would keep anyone happy.

It's as dramatic a cover as you could imagine.

But is the tale inside as dramatic?

Not as far as I can remember, as the scarlet speedster has to contend with Captain Boomerang's latest crime spree.

Meanwhile, in this month's backup strip, it's trouble for the Green Lantern when his power ring starts compelling him to commit anti-social deeds. Can he restore normal service? Or has a brand new super-villain been created?

I've never read this one but I have a Nick Cardy cover and a list of story titles that are sure to set my imagination ablaze.

Those story titles are:

Lost: A Million Miles from Home!

The Legionnaire Who Killed!

The Verdict of the Legion!

The Super-Stalag of Space!

The Test of Brainiac 5!

The Execution of Matter-Eater Lad!

Duo Damsel's Double-Play!

The Lore of the Legion!

The Wrath of the Devil-Fish!

and

The Superboy of Bigville!

I have to say most of those titles sound very high-stakes. I'm definitely buying this book if I see it on the spinner rack, this summer. I'm just hoping at least some of the Legionnaires manage to make it out alive.

But let's face it. This is what we all came here for.

At last, we discover what would happen if Superman ever fought the original Captain Marvel, when the man of steel must confront Captain Thunder, an alternate universe version of that hero who's found himself trapped in Metropolis and compelled to assist criminals whenever he uses his powers.

It would appear that Anton Arcane and his Un-Men attack the Swamp Thing - only for him to be  rescued by the resurrected corpse of someone called Black Jubal.

I've no idea what any of that means but I have no doubt at all that it's great.

In our main story, we can only watch in dread while a village eagerly awaits the arrival of Satan.

But has everyone in the community been acting badly enough for them to gain his favour?

Or have some of them been a little too nice?

And because even that isn't enough for the true lover of horror, we're then treated to The Gun That Couldn't Stop Killing and When Time Went Mad, the details of which I'm struggling to recall.