Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.
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There are those who cry at weddings.
And, on this day in 1981, I was certainly crying about one.
That's because it was on every TV and radio channel, virtually all day long, meaning there was no way for me to escape it.
The wedding was between Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer at St Paul's Cathedral in London, which took place before a global audience of over 750 million people.
Admittedly, I may be exaggerating when I say there was nothing else at all on TV. After all, that self-same evening, BBC One treated us to a showing of The Sound of Music featuring the future stars of the live-action Spider-Man TV show, the Logan's Run TV show, Lost in Space and Starcrash, all in one mighty tale of nuns vs Nazis.
Earlier, that week, things had got rather dramatic in these isles when around 1,000 motorcyclists clashed with police in Keswick, Cumbria. I feel that would have been something worth seeing but also something worth avoiding.
Not to be avoided, ever, is the UK singles chart, and that, week, the Hit Parade's top spot was seized by the ubiquitous Shakin' Stevens when his cover of Green Door removed The Specials' Ghost Town from the summit.
There was to be no removal for Cliff Richard on the British album chart. The man who'd been the Shakin' Stevens of the 1950s held onto that list's summit, thanks to his LP Love Songs.
In our cover tale, Spider-Man and Captain America must unite to combat the deadly menace of the Scorpion in a tale I believe to be drawn by Herb Trimpe.
Elsewhere, Bruce Banner finds himself washed ashore on Easter Island.
And he's not alone.
Because the Absorbing Man's on it as well!
The villain's lost his memory.
But how long before he gets it back?
Thrilling stuff indeed but it all pales into insignificance before the real news of the hour.
Which is that, at last, we can all be the crime-fighter we've always dreamt of being, thanks to this issue giving us a free Spider-Man mask that I've no doubt will be as awesome as the one given away, all those years earlier, in the first-ever issue of Spider-Man Comics Weekly.
Admittedly, that mask was just a red paper bag with eye holes cut in it but, still.....
Sadly, I only know what happens in one of them.
And that's the cover story. I can exclusively reveal Bruce Banner and Captain America are kidnapped by a gang of villains out to make a robot that can rival the Hulk in power.
Can it be curtains for our heroes?
No, it can't because the robot turns out to be a total dud and the villains are soon routed, what with their main weapon being a tub of glue.
It looks like we're getting the first-ever appearance of the Stunt-Master when the wannabe Evil Knievel gatecrashes Daredevil's plan to announce his retirement.
Needless to say, this causes the man without fear to cancel that plan, much to the chagrin of Karen Page.
Apparently, we also get the chance to witness the righteous rage of the Panther. Upon the events of that tale, I can shed no light.