Tigon. The horror the world ignored.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

A crueller man than I once remarked that if Amicus was the poor man's Hammer, Tigon was the poor man's Amicus.

He was, of course, completely wrong.

Well, admittedly, he wasn't completely wrong.

However, there was far more to Tigon than being doomed to dwell in the shadow of two other content creators.

Tigon was a British film production company founded by the splendidly named Tony Tenser, way back in the dark days of 1966 and it quickly made a name for itself as a purveyor of the kind of horror that all sensible people avoided.

It never achieved the National Treasure status of Hammer nor the quirky distinctiveness of Amicus and it was never in danger of winning the Queen's Award to Industry that the former company had but it did bestow upon us a string of chillers that are strangely difficult to forget. And at least two of those proved to be pivotal in the history of British and, even, world horror.

But just what kinds of triumphs did Tigon present to us during its seven year history?

Doomwatch, a kind of Wicker Man for people who like common sense solutions. 

The Beast in the Cellar in which Beryl Reid and Flora Robson shared their house with a spectacularly unfriendly brother.

The Crimson Altar brought together Boris Karloff, Christopher Lee, Michael Gough, Barbara Steele and future Coronation Street serial killer Mark Eden for a tale of witchcraft that promised to be far better than it actually was.

On the other hand, The Creeping Flesh united Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing to pleasing effect in the tale of a man who acquires a mysterious skeleton with a penchant for finger removal.

The Sorcerers brought Catherine Lacey, Boris Karloff and Ian Ogilvy together for the tale of an ageing couple who take possession of a young man and force him to do terrible things.

The Blood Beast Terror saw UFO star - and mother of Benedict Cumberbatch - Wanda Ventham as a woman who habitually became a giant homicidal moth in a film that, it has to be said, bore more than a passing resemblance to the far more popular Hammer film The Reptile which had materialised a couple of years earlier.

And there was more than even that. Among Tigon's other films were For the Love of Ada, Au Pair Girls, Neither the Sea Nor the Sand, Hannie Caulder, The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins, Virgin Witch, The Body Stealers, What's Good for the Goose, The Haunted House of Horror, 1917, Monique, Zeta One, Black Beauty, Love in Our Time and Mini Weekend.

The more astute reader will have guessed that not all of those were horror films. Not even Black Beauty.

But perhaps the company's two most important offerings were Witchfinder General and The Blood on Satan's Claw. The former being a highly fictionalised account of the work of Matthew Hopkins, as played by Vincent Price, with the second being a study of what happens to a small rural community when the skull of a mystery creature is unearthed.

Both films are set in the same milieu, occur around the time of the English Civil War and involve accusations of witchcraft. However, while the former makes it clear there are no supernatural happenings and the only evil exists in the hearts of men, the latter makes it clear the supernatural is very much present and eagerly warping the minds of teenagers.

Together, these two films form two limbs of the three-legged milking stool which is often credited with being the very foundation of the genre known as British Folk Horror. The other being the previously mentioned Wicker Man which Tigon had no involvement in. Both Witchfinder General and The Blood on Satan's Claw share a nihilism that would probably have had Hammer running a mile and are genuinely uncomfortable watches in a way that Hammer's more flamboyant fare never was.

So, which is my favourite of Tigon's movies?

I do have a fondness for The Creeping Flesh and seem to be the only person alive who enjoys The Blood Beast Terror. Witchfinder General is, of course, highly regarded.

But I have to go for The Blood on Satan's Claw in appreciation of its total lack of traditional narrative structure and refusal to have anything that genuinely qualifies as a protagonist. These factors are often cited as critical flaws but they lend the piece the feeling of a fly on the wall documentary, as though a film crew has, somehow, turned up in an 18th Century village and started filming what's going on without being totally sure what's going on. As one who appreciates those who eschew story-telling convention, I find this a more interesting approach than if the tale had had the sense to follow the rules.

You may of course, disagree with me.

On the other hand, you might not have a clue what I'm talking about. In which case, should you wish to know more about Tigon and its output, the studio's, admittedly not exhaustive, Wikipedia page can be found by clicking this very link.

September 28th 1974 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Readers of a certain age will know that, before there was the internet, there was Ceefax, that magical service on the BBC where, with a press of a remote control, you could access the latest written information about the worlds of news, sport, weather, politics and arts. All done with hi-tech blocky graphics.

But when was this veritable miracle launched?

It was during this very week in 1974. Truly, there could have been no doubt the future was well and truly with us.

Slightly more retro was The Brides of Fu Manchu which BBC One was showing in the early evening of the 28th, followed by It's Cliff!

How strange that the fiendish doctor should appear on our TVs so shortly after the adventures of his son had disappeared from the pages of Marvel UK's Avengers comic.

The Klaatu Saga comes to its sad and mournful conclusion, as Captain Cybor and Klaatu plunge to their deaths in the heart of the sun, Xeron and his crew are stranded on a rowing boat doomed to run out of oxygen and, after a brief battle in Earth's upper atmosphere, the Hulk and Abomination come plummeting from the heavens, with the only witnesses being a small girl and her father. It has to be the most downbeat ending to a Hulk story yet.

Meanwhile, Daredevil's still having to contend with the Owl's trial of a judge the villain happens to have to have it in for. It's a trial that goes so well for the defence that both the judge and his lawyer find themselves sentenced to death.

Elsewhere, the Fantastic Four, back from their epic encounter with the Inhumans, find the streets of New York paved with chaos, as the Watcher, Silver Surfer and then Galactus turn up. Can any human mind possibly process such drama and survive?

We'll find out next week.

Spider-Man's still out to retrieve that pesky stolen tablet from the Shocker.

But he's having a bit of a shocker himself, as he falls out with Flash Thompson, thinking his old friend and nemesis is making a play for his girl Gwen when Flash was only trying to help her patch up her relationship with our hero.

Hawkeye's still having his first encounter with Iron Man but, when his brand new girlfriend the Black Widow is hit in the head by one of his arrows, the archer flees with her. No doubt, intending to return to bother Shellhead on some future occasion.

Thor, meanwhile, having barely survived their first scrap is yet again having a punch-up with Ulik. One that, if I remember rightly, goes far better for the thunder god than the first one did.

Or does it?

Because, despite winning that fight, the Asgardian, somehow, finds himself back on Midgard, without his hammer and about to transform back into the feeble Don Blake.

I do believe we're getting more of Iron Fist's origin. Having defeated a robot, last week; this week, he must overcome a dragon!

Fortunately for him - and mankind - he succeeds and ends up with a dragon symbol emblazoned upon his chest, thanks to his unique tactic of hugging the beast to death

The Avengers, though, are still in the process of rescuing the Black Widow from her former Soviet puppet masters. But, now, Captain America has been captured and is being held in a Plexiglas tube!

In his tireless quest to prise Victoria Bentley from the clutches of evil, Dr Strange is well and truly out of his wheelhouse, as he has to fight a giant robot called Voltorg.

I do believe this week's Marvel UK books feature the winners of the contest to design the most impressive possible piece of technology. A contest in which the prizes are boxes of Meccano. Sadly, I didn't enter that one and, therefore, have no anecdotes to recount about it.

Speak Your Brain! Part 88. Things you've forgotten and songs that are stuck in your head.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

As I type these words, summer feels very much over, with a chill in the air and puddles on the ground.

But there's one thing that is very much not over.

In fact, I begin to wonder if, like the Hydra before it, it can even be killed.

And that's the feature the world has grown to love, fear and anticipate in equal measure.

You guessed. It's the one in which the first person to comment below gets to decide the topic of the day.

I possess no foreknowledge of what that might be. Nor would I wish to possess any. Therefore, feel free to set your topic afloat and discover in which direction the zephyrs of discourse carry it.

September 1984 - Marvel UK monthlies, 40 years ago this month.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Who hates Stevie Wonder?

Probably no one on the entire planet.

However, to be honest, in September 1984, I was starting to wish he'd never been born, as his latest single I Just Called to Say I Love You clung on to the UK Number One spot for week after week after week. In fact, it spent the entire month and more in pole position, giving some of us a distinct air of having outstayed its welcome.

Over on the British album chart, an almost equal level of dominance was achieved by Various Artists' Now That's What I Call Music 3 which seemed like it was going to rule the roost forever. But, then, at the very death of the month, it was finally dislodged, by David Bowie's newest offering, a thing called Tonight.

The UK's favourite sci-fi mag surprises some of us by interviewing Michael Douglas about his brand new movie Romancing the Stone.

Much as I may enjoy the film, I can't say I've ever viewed it as fitting into the categories of sci-fi, fantasy or horror.

Elsewhere, this issue reviews new cinematic offering Iceman which I've never heard of, and interviews Laurene Landon, star of upcoming sword and sorcery flick Hundra which I've also never heard of.

Fortunately, I have heard of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Starburst interviews him about his latest gift to the world Conan the Destroyer. 

We also receive a preview of The Philadelphia Experiment and are presented with a review of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Tom Baker once more graces the cover of the only magazine dedicated to Time Lords that any sane man would ever buy.

And he accompanies that cover with an interview about his stint on the show.

We also discover, within, Part 3 of the comic strip the world must call The Voyager.

In keeping with the Fourth Doctor theme of the issue, there's a look at the the life and times of the anti-matter antagonist Omega and a look back at Baker's first-ever story Robot.

But it's not all nostalgia, because we also encounter a look ahead to the return of the Cybermen in whatever story it is they return in. I'm assuming it's the splendidly violent one with Brian Glover and all that shooting in the gravel pits.

Drama hits Steve Does Comics Towers, as we reach the last issue that I ever read of this book.

Then again, it's not far off being the last issue of it that anyone ever read, as the mag will survive for just one more month before folding.

In it, Captain Britain returns to Braddock Manor to do whatever it is he returns to Braddock Manor to do. I think the creation of a computerised butler may be one of the feats he achieves while he's there.

Next, Night-Raven finds himself in a tale called  Pathology III.

Then we discover four-page Marvel Showcase yarn Unicorn on Winchester, as brought to us by Martin Lock and Dave Hartwood.

And we round off the issue with the X-Men and Micronauts still battling an evil version of Professor X who, for some reason, is roaming around dressed like a Roman gladiator.

No danger of the UK Savage Sword of Conan folding imminently. Anyone can tell it's got bags of life left in it yet. Just like its star.

Having sad that, I can't tell you anything about the contents of this one, although I am going to assume pirates are involved and Conan gets to fight them.

No doubt, he kills their captain and then takes over as their leader, as that's what usually happens when Conan encounters pirates.

He'll then lead them into terrible danger in some jungle somewhere and get most of them killed, as that's also what happens whenever he encounters pirates.

September 21st 1974 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Who's gone martial arts crazy?

The whole country's gone martial arts crazy!

I know that because it's September 21st, 1974 and the Number One slot on the UK singles chart has only gone and been nabbed by none other than Carl Douglas, with his monster smash hit that's proving to be a wow everywhere from K'un Lun to Cleethorpes. That hit is, of course, Kung Fu Fighting.

Who can be surprised by its success? It was, after all, as fast as lightning.

And it was a little bit frightening.

Over on the accompanying album chart, Mike Oldfield was still ensconced in the top spot he'd claimed the week before with his latest LP Hergest Ridge.

Someone probably not as happy as Mike Oldfield was UK Prime Minister Harold Wilson who, this week, unable to secure a majority in the House of Commons, announced there'd be a second general election of the year. This time, to be held on October 10th.

Drama continues and tension mounts, as the Hulk find himself on an alien spaceship with a bunch of random crew mates, the Abomination for a nemesis and an imminent meeting announced with the mysterious captain of the ship. Can things get stranger? I suspect they can.

With John Romita gone off to draw Spider-Man, a brand new artist starts on Daredevil's feature, as Gene Colan pencils it for the first time. And does so just in time to herald the return of the omnipotent Owl.

As far as I can recall, the Owl's kidnapped a judge and intends to put him on trial, with Matt Murdock the unwilling lawyer for the defence, and the villain's own lackeys as a jury.

But we complete the issue with the failure of Maximus the Mad's plan to annihilate all humanity, and him reacting as any reasonable man would by sealing his own people off from the outside world in a giant indestructible dome.

But not in time to prevent the Fantastic Four fleeing back to civilisation - and straight into the arms of another crisis, as a man on a surfboard starts flying towards the Earth, and the streets of New York fill with panic-stricken locals.

The Shocker's back and I believe he announces his return by stealing that pesky, mysterious and ancient tablet from the personal safe of Captain George Stacy.

Needless to say, this guarantees the subsequent intervention of Spider-Man.

But, first, he has to avoid getting into arguments with Gwen and Flash. Which, given his impetuous nature, proves far more difficult than it should be.

Elsewhere, in Iron Man's strip, a brand new super-hero makes his debut, as a circus bowman is inspired to become Hawkeye!

Sadly, for him, his attempts to be a hero quickly go awry. At which point, he displays his versatility by becoming a super-villain, with the prodding and encouragement of the mysterious Black Widow.

Meanwhile, in a realm far above our heads and slightly beyond our imaginations, the naughty Rock Trolls have stolen Thor's hammer, thanks to the assistance of a mysterious but powerful prisoner called Orikal.

With Shang-Chi on sabbatical, the Avengers get their first appearance on the cover of their own mag in 25 issues.

And what a cover it is, as the gang battle an imaginary Hydra.

It's all part of their attempt to rescue the Black Widow from the Reds.

But to do that, they're going to have to overcome both a machine that makes its victims hallucinate and the Red Guardian.

Iron Fist, meanwhile, is still going through his origin. One which includes him having to defeat an android in the Himalayas. How an isolated monastery in the Himalayas got its hands on a android is never, to my knowledge, explained.

And what of Dr Strange?

He's still out to liberate Victoria Bentley from the clutches of mad alien scientist Yandroth.

But to do that, he's first going to have to overcome a massive robot that looks like it was designed by someone who really really likes designing massive robots but hasn't seen a picture of a robot since 1937.

Speak Your Brain! Part 87. Double acts.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

In the last few days, the world has been rocked by the news that Oasis are to return. Frankly, with both Gallaghers still knocking out records on a regular basis, I never really felt like the band had gone away.

But the Mancunian mayhem-meisters are not the only thing returning in our lives. So is the feature in which the first person to comment below gets to decide the topic of the day.

That topic could encompass anything from the entire realm of human experience - or even from far beyond it. Therefore, make sure to rush in and register your talking point before someone beats you to it.

2000 AD - August 1986.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Pablo Picasso famously created a painting called Weeping Woman and, in August 1986, she had plenty to weep about.

That's because she was stolen.

I can give few details of the crime because the culprits were never apprehended but I do know that, just two weeks after vanishing, she was found in a locker at the Spencer Street Station in Melbourne, Australia. How she got there, I would struggle to tell you but it all sounds a rum do and no mistaking.

There were, however, works of art, that month, where there was no doubt at all where they could be found.

And that's because they were movies.

Which meant they could be found in movie cinemas.

August saw the release of a whole slew of the things, both celebrated and shunned but, amongst them were Flight of the Navigator, Friday the 13th Part VI, She's Gotta Have It, The Transformers: The Movie, The Fly, Manhunter, Night of the Creeps, Stand by Me, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and legendary Madonna/Sean Penn flop Shanghai Surprise.

But, of course, what really mattered was the release of just one film. 

And that film was the one we'd been waiting all our lives for.

At last, the world got to know the thrill of being able to go to a picture house and see a movie dedicated to Howard the Duck!

To be honest, I feel it probably wasn't the best movie released that month. Or possibly any month. In fact, it'd probably struggle to be the best film released in a month in which it was the only film released.

Still, at least it tried

For my pick of the month, I suspect I'm going to have to go for Manhunter, even though it has nothing to do with a certain comic strip of the same name. However others may disagree with my choice. Especially as I know The Fly has its devotees.

And, amazingly, so does Chris de Burgh. Or at least he did back then. Despite being terminally unhip, he managed to spend a large chunk of that August at Number One on the UK singles chart, thanks to his track The Lady in Red, before subsiding before the challenge of Boris Gardiner's I Want to Wake Up With You.

On the accompanying album chart, just two LPs ruled the roost, that August. The first being Madonna's True Blue which was then forced to make way for the inevitable rise of Now That's What I Call Music! 7. Truly, there was no escaping from those albums, back then.

But what of the galaxy's greatest comic?

To the surprise of absolutely no one, it's still giving us Strontium Dog, Tharg's Future-Shocks, Judge Dredd, Ace Trucking Co, Sooner or Later and Nemesis the Warlock.

Surely worthy of mention is that Prog 484 features a Judge Dredd tale titled The Fists of Stan Lee in which the redoubtable upholder of the rule of law must battle a martial arts expert named in honour of "The Man" himself.

But the biggest news is that Prog 483 sees the start of the new series Metalzoic which has the distinction of being serialised and reprinted from the DC book of the same name, a 62-page graphic novel by Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill with a cover by Bill Sienkiewicz. There's fancy for you.

September 14th 1974 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

This week in 1974 wasn't a good one for people with sizeable egos who wanted to keep their jobs.

That's because it was the week in which Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia was deposed by the Derg, bringing an end to the Solomonic dynasty's near-700-year-long reign and launching a civil war.

Similarly, Brian Clough was dismissed after just 44 days as manager of defending league champions Leeds United, thanks to a disappointing start to the season. Fortunately, that didn't kick off a civil war.

There was good news for one man, though, as it was also the week in which, brand new President of the United States, Gerald Ford signed Proclamation 4311, gifting a full and unconditional pardon to his predecessor Richard Nixon.

When it came to the UK singles chart, that roost was still well and truly being ruled by the Osmonds with their latest platter that mattered Love Me for A Reason.

Change was, however, afoot on the corresponding album rankings, thanks to Mike Oldfield's Hergest Ridge entering at Number One. This meant that, with Tubular Bells still riding high, Oldfield was occupying the top two slots on the British LP chart.

I must confess the Osmonds single isn't one of my favourite tracks of the 1970s but songs I did approve of on that week's UK Hit Parade included:

Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas

Annie's Song - John Denver

When Will I See You Again? - the Three Degrees

What Becomes of the Brokenhearted? - Jimmy Ruffin

Mr Soft - Cockney Rebel

Rock the Boat - Hues Corporation

Rock Your Baby - George McCrae

I Shot the Sheriff - Eric Clapton

I've Got the Music in Me - the Kiki Dee Band

Pinball - Brian Protheroe

Band on the Run - Paul McCartney and Wings

Long Tall Glasses - Leo Sayer

and

Sundown - Gordon Lightfoot.

It is strange and bizarre to see that Rock the Boat, Rock Your Baby and Rock Me Gently were occupying the Numbers 24, 25 and 26 positions, respectively, while Number 27 was held by Mud's Rocket. Why do I get the feeling people were going into their local record shop, asking for, "That song that starts with Rock," and being given a random selection from one of those four releases?

Whatever the truth of the matter, should one wish to investigate things in more depth, that week's UK singles chart can be found here.

While the accompanying LP chart resides within.

It's almost as bad a week for the Hulk as it is for Brian Clough.

First of all he gets swatted away, like a mere flea, by the gigantic Klaatu. Then he gets knocked out and captured by Xeron the Star-Slayer. Then he wakes to discover he's a prisoner on a spaceship.

And then, to top it all off, he discovers his old foe the Abomination's also on board - and outranks him!

Elsewhere, John Romita's stint on the Daredevil strip comes to an end - and does so with our hero getting the better of the Gladiator and Masked Marauder, with the puddle-headed pair finally realising Foggy Nelson isn't the man without fear.

Meanwhile, the Fantastic Four and runaway Inhumans are all in the Great Refuge where Maximus unveils his genius plan to annihilate every human being on the planet by using his machine that will only kill people who are not Inhumans.

Is there any hope for humanity?

And for inhumanity?

Out to clear his name, after hanging around with Magneto for longer than any sane PR man would recommend, Quicksilver decides the best way to do it is bring the fugitive Spider-Man to justice.

How can a man, even one blessed with spider-powers, possibly hope to stop a foe who can literally run rings around him?

Very easily, it turns out, as Quicksilver has the brains of a rocking horse, and Spider-Man has very strong arms.

The Unicorn's still causing trouble at Tony Stark's factory. He kidnaps Pepper Potts and threatens to blow up the plant unless Iron Man comes out to fight him.

Therefore, Iron Man fights him.

I can't help feeling the Unicorn's plans would be better if they didn't all involve him fighting Iron Man.

Thor, meanwhile is getting a good battering from Ulik but is saved when the king of the Trolls shows up and gets in the way of things.

What's this? Shang-Chi's strip has disappeared from the pages of our favourite comic dedicated to the Avengers?

But not to worry. His absence is only to give Marvel UK breathing space until new Shang-Chi stories are created for it to reprint.

In the meantime, a brand new strip's here to keep us thrilled, as I: Ron Fist smashes its way into K'un-Lun and, no doubt, into our hearts too, thanks to Ron's unique third-person narration and his one-trick-pony fighting technique.

Elsewhere, the Avengers are off to the Iron Curtain to rescue the abducted Black Widow.

But to do that, it looks like they're going to have to take on the Soviet Union's answer to Captain America - the Red Guardian!

And, very, very elsewhere, still trying to find Victoria Bentley, Dr Strange has entered a surreal world where he encounters the super-scientist Yandroth.

From what I remember, Yandroth has Victoria but isn't in the mood to give her up.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - September 1984.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

It feels like you had to be a bit cultured to enter a cinema in September 1984.

It was, after all, a month which saw the release of both Amadeus and Carmen.

Fortunately, for those whose tastes weren't quite so high-brow, the month also saw the unleashing of The Brother from Another Planet and Irreconcilable Differences.

I must confess that I've never seen any of those four movies. My opinions on them are, therefore, completely without value.

The official Marvel news magazine is back to thrill us with all the latest goss on all the firm's latest happenings. 

Which means that, among other items, we're treated to an interview with Denny O'Neil, a look at Marvel's Coming Attractions and all the facts you need to know about brand-new book Questprobe.

Not only that but there's even info on how to submit your samples. 

I'm assuming that means your artwork and writing samples and not any other samples you may happen to have in your possession.

Marvel Fanfare heralds its return, with a cover that looks like it's doing all it can to channel as much Golden Age magic as is humanly possible.

What I do know is it gives us a World War Two yarn involving someone called Sky-Wolf, which the GCD tells me is in the style of Blackhawks.

That's followed by A Fable. Otherwise known as a ten-page Sub-Mariner tale from Bill Mantlo and Mike Mignola.

A stylish cover by Mike Kaluta introduces us to an issue in which Conan searches for Taurus, with the help of Dexitheus and his Black Dragons.

Following that, Prince Conn's headed for the gallows after supposedly murdering a wealthy merchant. However, just as he's about to hang, the prince vanishes and reappears in a forest!

What can it all mean?

I haven't the foggiest.

I admit it, I've included it for its Bill Sienkiewicz  cover.

But it turns out he also draws the insides, as well.

Thanks to Chris Claremont's script, Danielle Moonstar's fighting for her life in surgery while Warlock and Magus encounter the Starjammers in space.

Elsewhere, Magik starts to manifest armour.

And, as if we could ever forget, the Demon Bear attacks again. This time, transporting the New Mutants - and two others - to its own dimension!

All I can say is it's teleportier than the average bear.

It's the last-ever Marvel Team-Up Annual and the book bows out in the only way any good comic should - with heroes in turmoil, a giant snake and a man on a flying carpet!

Frankly, I don't have a clue what's going on but it seems Spidey and someone called Marrina have attracted the attentions of the Collector. The cosmic kleptomaniac wants to nab Spidey because of his alien costume, and Marrina because she's a Plodex.

I have no idea what a Plodex is.

Meanwhile, in the issue's second tale, Arthur Berman finds himself haunted by the violence super-heroes bring into people's lives.

It's the book that had to happen, as Marvel gives us Part One of its three-part adaptation of the movie the people in cinema queues are all talking about.

And David Michelinie and Butch Guice are the men bringing it to us.

The company which gave us comics devoted to the Micronauts and ROM bows to the inevitable and delivers unto our laps the Transformers who, as we all know, are robots in disguise.

I must confess that, despite having sat through many an advert dedicated to them, I'm no expert on the Transformers but my understanding is that, on the planet Cybertron, war has raged for far longer than is healthy, between the Autobots and the Decepticons.

But now, that war has arrived on Earth!

So, basically, the plot of Galactica 1980.

It's the mystery that's haunted many of our childhoods. Why do all super-heroes live in New York?

And does that mean there are no super-villains outside that city either?

Now, at last, we're going to get an answer because the West Coast bags its very own branch of the Avengers.

Will there be anyone for them to fight?

Or will the team's presence magically attract a whole bunch of trouble-makers to the region?

But, first, a team as to be assembled - and that task is left in the hands of Hawkeye.

Given his character, this news would make me suspect the team will, therefore, be made up entirely of the man himself and whatever half-dozen nubile young women want the job.

Forty years ago today - September 1984.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

I feel this is a feature that needs no introduction.

But that won't prevent me from trying to think of one.

Now things get magicky and enchanty because, as far as I can remember, Thor and his new friend Roger travel all the way to England to rescue Lorelei from Malekith, with the thunder god still blissfully unaware that she's not what she claims to be.

Meanwhile, still in search of a reason to live, Balder bumps into a Norn.

Meanwhiler, ever the optimist and never short of a reason to live, Surtur eagerly makes preparations for his latest attempt to lay waste the planet Earth!

Can it be? Does that cover mean what it threatens to? Has Tomazooma returned from his robo-grave to torment Wyatt Wingfoot's tribe?

No, he hasn't. Instead, it's an alien called Terminus who's out to strip the Earth of its natural goodies.

Needless to say, the two members of the FF who've turned out to stop him aren't going to put up with those sorts of shenanigans.

Meanwhile, back in New York, Johnny Storm's hormones are starting to notice that Alicia isn't just a friend of the Fantastic Four.

She's also a woman.

A luscious and gorgeous woman.

Which is a bit concerning to some of us, bearing in mind it's already been established that she looks exactly like his sister.

Following her raid on SHIELD's Helicarrier, the US government's determined to stop Rogue, by whatever means necessary.

And, seemingly, those necessary means include shooting Storm with a gun that removes its victim's super-powers!

As the cover makes plain, Cloak and Dagger are back on the scene. Despite that, I don't recall just what it is they're up to.

I'm going to guess they're still waging a remorseless war on drugs and that Spider-Man still doesn't approve of it.

In other news, I do recall the Kingpin's decided to turn Silvermane's corpse into a cyborg assassin and let it loose on the streets of New York.

Spurred on by Nightmare's psychic proddings, the Hulk finally finds Dr Strange, in an attempt to get aid with whatever it is he needs aid with. But it seems that, in his near-mindless state, the beast is beyond the help of even the Sorcerer Supreme.

Captain America breaks the habit of a lifetime by going on and on and on about the death of Bucky.

But it's all down to a plot by the Red Skull, Baron Zemo and Mother Superior.

However, not all is well in Camp Evil, as Mother Superior and Zemo are increasingly at each other's throats and the Skull displays his epic parenting skills by favouring the Baron over his own daughter.

The Eternals, and the odd Avenger, gather together for the latest revival of the Uni-Mind.

But all is not as it seems and, somewhere in Olympia, lurks a villain who's out to use the situation to his own advantage.

Meanwhile, in Europe, a talking cow has died and this causes Quicksilver much anguish.

We also get confirmation that the inhabitants of Titan, including Thanos, are Eternals and originated on the planet Earth.

Daredevil's creative team launch their latest brave attempt to make Micah Synn be a thing.

I predict that, at the end of it all, he will still not manage to be a thing.

This time, the reprehensible rain-forest rotter takes out a restraining order against Daredevil and teams up with Crossbow before realising the man without fear is none other than blind lawyer Matt Murdock. 

But it's not all good news for tinpot Tarzan - because, in another part of New York, the Kingpin catches Synn's men trying to steal his stock.

And I suspect that can bring nothing but trouble to his front door.

From my hazy recollections, the demon Jergl Zadh lures Conan and Fafnir to his temple, looking to gain revenge for previous setbacks at the Cimmerian's hands.

Needless to say, luring a barbarian into your lair always proves to be a fatal mistake.

Fed up of our hero ruining his plans, gangland boss the Rose hires wealthy assassin the Puma to kill the web-slinger.

Surely, this no-mark can't bring down everybody's favourite arachnid flavoured do-gooder.

Or can he?

Of, I suspect, longer-term importance, Spidey's alien-built costume is exhibiting increasing signs of having a mind of its own.

A fact that its wearer seems to be all-but oblivious to...

Our gang of hi-tech buddies set about the business of setting up business in California.

But, first, an increasingly paranoid Rhodey is going to have to stop a man called Vibro who was the mildest of men until his jerk of an employer nearly got him killed with inexcusable health and safety lapses.