Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.
It's July 1985 and, by an incredible coincidence, in my pocket, I have however much money it is that it costs to buy a cinema ticket in July 1985.
But what to spend it on?
That's the dilemma.
A dilemma that could tear a man's mind apart.
And just one look at what films were released that month makes it clear just why I'll be lucky to emerge with sanity intact.
After all, it was a month that unleashed such titans of entertainment as Back to the Future, The Emerald Forest, Red Sonja, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Silverado, Day of the Dead, Wetherby, Kiss of the Spider Woman and National Lampoon's European Vacation.
I'm sure those are all magnificent offerings but it goes without saying that the film released, that July, which I most want to see is something that goes by the name of Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam. I have no idea what that is but the title alone is telling at me that viewing it is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
I don't mention Savage Sword of Conan much in this feature but Stephen Hickman's cover has prompted me to break that habit.
This month's main story seems to be a mammoth 50-pager from Larry Hama and Rudy Nebres in which a trip to the Pictish wilderness sees Conan encounter a healer and a child who can help him rediscover lost memories.
There's also a 10-page backup in which the barbarian encounters a kingdom whose border can't be crossed without the payment of a sadistic toll.
Yet another striking Sienkiewicz cover heralds the return of the New Mutants.
Not that they ever left us.
Regardless, Sunspot and Magma are kidnapped, leading to Cannonball and Magik setting out to find them.
But the Dazzler soon discovers they've been captured for use in an underground mutant arena!
Despite his return to Earth, the Thing's comic is still going strong and visually referencing that Steve Ditko sequence in which Spidey had to lift a big thing with water dripping around him.
Inside, it's great news for all lovers of leprechauns - as The Thing is granted three wishes by them!
I'm going to assume it leads to all sorts of trouble for our hero and those around him.
And I'm going to guess, using my vast intellect and powers of observation, that Doctor Octopus may put in an appearance, this month.
Apparently, his arms are determined to break him out of prison.
Apparently, Spider-Man is out to stop them.
It's one I've picked for the elegance and simplicity of its cover.
When it comes to what happens inside it, Bill Mantlo and Butch Guice weave a thriller in which someone called Domino puts a stop to a mutiny by someone called Logic.
Also, someone called Admiral J'Rel attempts to conceal and protect someone called Pamela and Jim Drake.
But that's not all - because his daughter Raider is in jail and awaiting execution!
I'm going to guess that's her on the cover.
The name of the rat is, as yet, unknown to me.
It only seems like five minutes since the first Secret Wars ended - and here they are again, already having another one.
Anyway, it seems that, this time, the Beyonder shows up on Earth, in search of knowledge and experience.
Needless to say, this sends the planet's heroes rushing to action stations.
Rushing to such a degree that they leap into action against someone called Thundersword, who they think is the Beyonder but isn't.
I can only hope Thundersword sues them.
What on Earth's happening now?
We're getting a story called The Big Sleep, written and drawn by Rick Veitch.
Apart from that, I can reveal nothing of this mag or of its contents, other than to declare that it will run for six issues.
Who's this getting a brand new book of his own?
It's Dreadstar!
Except. as that cover might hint, it's not that brand new.
In fact, it's a reprint from 1982's Dreadstar #1 in which Oedi's origin is recapped, as Dreadstar and his gang set out to steal a big satellite.
Someone at Marvel continues to love Cloak and Dagger. And so it is that they get a brand new comic!
As far as I can make out, this month, our tortured thwarters of depravity take down a porn shop that's employing slave labour.
On top of even that, Dagger decides to visit her birth mother, after receiving information about something or other from someone called Father Delgado.
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21 comments:
Oh, quite a busy month.
I went to see Back To The Future, Mad Max 3 and Kiss Of The Spiderwoman. Though not this month as regional distribution in the Northwest meant we got things varying degrees of ‘much later’.
I watched Day of the Dead and National Lampoon on tape a few years later. I like DOTD, but not massively.
I think Back To The Future is probably my favourite out of those. It’s not a favourite film of mine but over the years I’ve come to appreciate the polish of the writing and pinpoint perfection of the comic timing. Like Beverly Hills Cop. I wasn’t crazy about it at the time but it seems like commercial lightning in a bottle now.
New Mutants!
I think this might be the point where Billy began to backslide a bit on the art and it got less refined and sort-of-photorealistic, and more scratchy and blocky. Still great though.
I have The One and would highly recommend it, Steve. It’s very perverse, very interesting and very funny. Acknowledged mild influence on Alan Moore’s superhero deconstructions.
If you can find the original issues then do, as there’s copyright -infringing usage of Beatles lyrics that are rewritten in the fairly recent collected edition.
I thought BACK TO THE FUTURE was an excellent Summer Movie — very well made, fast, funny, and smarter than I expected it to be. I remember thinking SILVERADO was likewise a big, splashy, crowd-pleasing Summer Entertainment — no idea what I’d think of it now. MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME was an epic disappointment.
Comics-wise:
Nice Hickman SAVAGE SWORD cover. I’d like it even if Conan wasn’t practically copping a feel of that Kali-esque statue :D
I bought all 6 issues of THE ONE and know that I enjoyed it at the time but don’t remember a thing about it now.
I thought Rick Leonardi was one of the more consistently interesting artists at Marvel at that time, and his stuff always looked great when inked by Terry Austin, so I bought just about every issue of CLOAK AND DAGGER that they drew. Can’t say I ever thought the basic premise or the writing was all that great.
b.t.
So the Picts are in another July cover-dated Conan comic then, Steve?
Looks I might have been onto something a couple of posts ago about the Ulster-Scots thing...
Matthew, b.t., no thoughts about Red Sonja? Fair enough. You do have to wonder how it's possible to make a film with Brigitte Nielsen as a she-devil with a sword in an age undreamed of that isn't at least a bit watchable.
Surely the new Sonja flick out next month can only be an improvement...?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rUNj73M4zg
-sean
I didn't know there's a new Red Sonja film!
The Back To The Future films are currently on BBC iPlayer.
Sean -
I never saw any of the 80s barbarian movies. I only saw Conan The Barbarian about ten years ago when a friend bought it for me for Christmas (and I wasn’t keen).
I heard The Sword & The Sorcerer was alright but haven’t made an effort to watch it.
I’ll weigh in on Mad Max 3 though.
Went to see that with friends just for something to do, and it we all agreed it was rubbish.
I hadn’t seen either of the earlier films, either, so hats off to George Miller and co for making a movie that appealed to neither fans of the originals or newcomers.
Colin:
There’s a trailer out now for the new Red Sonja movie. Can’t remember where I saw it, probably on YouTube. It looks…okay.
Matthew:
I thought the first CONAN movie was pretty good on my first viewing in ‘82. Watched it several times after that and liked it less and less each time. I remember liking THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER back in the day, thought it was one of the better Conan knock-offs. It literally swiped bits from REH’s original Conan stories. A few months ago, I found it streaming on some channel, re-watched the first few minutes and it didn’t hold my interest.
sean:
The reviews on the first Red Sonja movie were beyond scathing, and the pre-release publicity materials hadn’t made it sound or look very appealing, so I didn’t make much of an effort to see it. I’ve still never seen it, to this day.
b.t.
I've just watched the Red Sonja trailer on YouTube so thanks to Sean and bt for bringing it to my attention - it certainly looked action-packed but the comments underneath were mostly quite negative. I remember my huge anticipation for the 2011 Conan remake only to be disappointed - you'd think it would be pretty hard to make Conan boring but somehow they managed it!
The director on Red Sonja doesn't inspire much confidence. She's a good shooter - meaning she gets glossy-looking footage that execs love - but doesn't really seem to have made an interesting film at any point. A LOT of very average TV.
The only actor I recognize in that trailer is D'Artagnan, from the BBC's Three Musketeers adaptation. But, having glanced at the cast list, Trevor Eve ( 'Shoestring' ) is in it, too. The protagonist isn't Red Sonja-like, at all. That actress who starred in 'The Sword of Xanten' (albeit not a red-head) had the sword & sorcery background for the role, but she's probably too old, now. The red-headed actress from 'The Dark Knight' (Ivanhoe) is likewise too old now, but also had vaguely relevant acting experience. Ah, well - Hollywood's ability to ruin movies any fan could do a better job of should never be underestimated! According to my brother, the latest FF movie has a female Silver Surfer. A bit of feminism's outstanding, but are they determined to destroy the new FF movie, at the box office?
Phillip
Furthermore, ( late 80s/early 90s? )Galactus had a female herald, but it wasn't the Silver Surfer. Wasn't she a character named 'Nova' ( but obviously not Richard Ryder, the original Nova). If the movie makers want another female character, for the audience, use Galactus's 'real' female herald, who isn't the Silver Surfer!
Phillip
Phillip:
Apparently Norrin Radd’s sweetheart Shalla Bal has been a Silver Surfer in the comics, so there IS a precedent.
b.t.
b.t. - I don't remember Shalla Bal from the original run, but I suppose anything could have happened in the 50 plus years since then! Thanks for clarifying that. I'm still not spending £14 (or whatever it is now) to watch it, at the cinema!
Phillip
I mean Shalla Bal being a Silver Surfer in the original run ( of course I remember Shalla Bal, as a character! )
Phillip
I was gonna say, how could you not remember Shalla Bal, when the Surfer was forever moaning about being seperated from her in the original Lee /Buscema run :D
Full disclosure: I wasn’t aware that she’d become a Silver Surfer herself either. I just found out about it recently.
b.t.
A lady Silver Surfer...? Its political correctness gone mad, Phillip!
Whats your objection to the woman playing Red Sonja in the new film? She seems to be able to carry off the metal bikini look ok - what more do you want?
Matthew, the Sonja director also did the Solomon Kane film some years ago, back when she was a he. Possibly having a director who identifies as a trans woman might explain a fair bit of the negative reception to a trailer that seems fairly generic?
I can only assume the people in the YouTube comments section whinging about how great fantasy films used to be haven't seen the '85 Sonja.
-sean
I still haven’t seen the Solomon Kane movie, either. I’m holding out for a Turlough O’Brien movie!
b.t.
Sean - Not political correctness - even ironically! To my mind (until b.t. corrected me), the Silver Surfer's not an interchangeable character ( like Dr.Who, etc.) He's a distinct Marvel character, who shouldn't be 'airbrushed' out of Marvel's history ( for the next generation.) Likewise, Carol Danvers wasn't Captain Marvel (who is now airbrushed out of the next generation's continuity) - but Ms.Marvel. I don't like 50 plus years of Marvel's history being discredited, by a director who didn't grow up loving the comics, like I did. Worse still, from directors who never read the comics, at all, but mess things up, deciding to make that decision on everybody else's behalf, like they are God. It's not political correctness - discrediting my childhood's treasured memories, is what it feels like. Whew! "Now, then, now then - calm down, our Terry!" as the scousers wouls say.
On to Red Sonja - from that trailer, her proportions look 'wrong'. Ooh - can't say that, can you? Many actors/singers/etc have big heads - Blondie has a big head. The Red Sonja actress has a large head, and very puny looking forearms - particularly as they meet the elbow. She couldn't wield a large sword, unless it was made of balsa wood. Kristanna Loken, in contrast, is a physically much larger actress ( her hat-size, notwithstanding), who'd look much more convincing swinging a long-sword around. There - I've said what I really think!
Phillip
Look… after seeing Zombie Hulk bite the head off non-zombie Silver Surfer in the far future it is obvious that the male Surfer is canonical.
It just would not do to have a Zombie Hulk biting the head off a female Surfer now, would it?!
Comics Code or not, some things are just unacceptable.
CH
No worries, Phillip - say what ever you like. Its up to you what you enjoy about a comic or film, not anyone else.
The Sonja in the trailer certainly doesn't look like a Frank Thorne drawing, that's for sure. I can see how it would make sense to have a er, larger lady in the part. But I kind of go for the more wiry look anyway, so it doesn't bother me.
Whether she can act or not - or whether the film will actually require her to - is another matter, and not something we can really tell from the trailer I don't think.
More generally, my view is that you just have to accept with comic characters that are around for decades that they'll change over time - sometimes for creative reasons, sometimes more corporate ones - and films will be part of that. Enjoy the versions you like, and ignore what you don't.
As it happens I'm not particularly into comic book films, as they generally lose what interested me in the original comics. It probably isn't a coincidence that the ones I enjoyed the most - the Deadpools - were about a character I barely knew anything about, and had zero interest in.
I also kinda liked Captain Marvel (sorry about that). Not saying it was a cinematic classic for the ages, but it actually held my interest til the finale. The surprising twist with the Skulls - making them sympathetic - is probably what did it. Not correct in terms of what I knew about Marvel continuity, but it worked for me anyway.
-sean
*The surprising twist with the Skrulls...
#@*&ing autocorrect!
-sean
The Solomon Kane film was actually quite good but it wasn't a hit so there were no sequels.
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