The Marvel Lucky Bag - December 1984.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

This month in 1984, the dedicated cinema-goer probably couldn't even make up his mind just what films he wanted to see in his local cinema.

And that's not surprising. It was a month, after all, which saw the release of such box office stardust as Beverly Hills Cop, 2010, City Heat, The Cotton Club, Dune, 1984, A Passage to India, Johnny Dangerously, Starman and, of course, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

I must confess the only ones of those I've actually seen are Dune and Starman and I refuse to vote for either of them as being Film of the Month because, if either of them is, there's something seriously wrong with the world.

I think it's the comic we've all been waiting for, when Marvel's adaptation of Buckaroo Banzai makes its sensational reprint debut.

Join it as Bill Mantlo and Mark Texeira reveal just how Buckaroo and his gang learn the Earth is imperilled by aliens.

And, then, I assume they set out to do something about it, or it wouldn't be much of a comic. Nor much of a film, either.

Conan gets his ninth annual and seems to be up against the Stone Men from Saturn!

Upon closer research, it seems the Stone Men from Saturn are not involved but, instead, the barbarian and his crew of pirates blunder across a ship carrying warrior priests intent upon protecting the giant statue of their sleeping god.

And what's the betting that that sleeping god is about to wake up?

What's this? An adaptation of Disney's Beauty and the Beast?

Even though it won't be coming out for another seven years?

That's what I call a preemptive strike.

But no! It turns out this book has nothing to do with the Disney film. Nor with any associated fairy tale.

Instead, it's a story of furry super-heroics, as the X-Men's Beast hits Hollywood, looking to hang out with his old mate Wonder Man.

I shall assume Wonder Man isn't the, "Beauty," of the title and will, therefore, speculate it's the Dazzler, who's signed up to perform with an, "experimental," theatre.

This all leads to her powers going out of control, causing her to vanish into thin air.

Can the mutant crime-buster find her?

And, even if he does, then what?

They said it couldn't be done.

And probably assumed it wouldn't be done.

But done, it has been.

At last, Mother Teresa has her very own Marvel comic devoted to her!

I can reveal almost nothing of the plot of this one - mostly because I don't have a clue what its plot is  - but I shall assume that plot bears a remarkable resemblance to her life story.

And if that life story doesn't bear a remarkable resemblance to The Sound of Music, I shall be highly disappointed.

Unless my instincts let me down, Spider-Man's 18th annual sees the return of no lesser threat than the Scorpion!

  

Not for the first time, the titanium-tailed terror's out for revenge upon J Jonah Jameson. And, this time, he's going to do it by abducting JJ's bride-to-be Marla Madison, and his son John.

But, if John Jameson's around, does that mean Man-Wolf will also be putting in an appearance?

Another new mag enters our eyes and brains when someone called Ataluma is enslaved by pirates.

After tricking someone called D'lak into killing someone called Thibbeus, she rallies some women to her side and forms something called the Sisterhood. Ataluma then murders D'lak and takes over somewhere called Ildana.

Much later, while completing her training, someone called Boronwe tries to cover-up for someone called Kelki when one of them runs off with the lover of one of them.

Frankly, I've no idea what any of that means.

But I'm suspecting this is the comic book equivalent of those dodgy, female-led, straight-to-video 1980s Sword and Sorcery films of a certain reputation.

First, Marvel gave us Shanna. And now it gives us Sheena!

Despite what the Ramones may have told us, Sheena is not a punk rocker.

Instead, she's a full-fledged jungle queen and, within, this adventure, the villainous Prince Otwani's plot to murder a king is successful but his plan to usurp the throne may fail because our heroine's rescued the shaman he was planning to use as a scapegoat.

Gray Morrow supplies the artwork. Therefore, it is, at least, guaranteed to be pleasing to the eye.

In the 1970s, Jack Kirby gave us Marvel's take on Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece.

Now, that same company gives us its take on the sequel to that masterpiece.

I'd reveal the plot of this one but I don't know what it is.

I'm going to guess monoliths and spaceships are involved. And, possibly, a trip to another world.

It's probably like Alien: Prometheus, or something.

I do know, though, that J M DeMatteis, Joe Barney and Larry Hama are the creative talents behind this version of the venture.

On the other hand, I have seen the movie version of Dune.

On the not-other-hand, I don't have a clue what that one was about either

However, I do know this version is 64 pages long and brought to us by Ralph Macchio and Bill Sienkiewicz.

Wait. Hold on. Wasn't Ralph Macchio the Karate Kid?

Speaking of action stars, the biggest of them all gets a Marvel book all to himself, as the company's adaptation of his second Conan film hacks and slashes its way into our tame existences.

In it, Queen Taramis promises to restore Valeria to life if our hero performs the simple feat of escorting her niece to somewhere or other.

The only problem is that Thoth-Amon is around.

And, of course, he's up to his customary no-good.

It's taken a long time but Marvel's frostiest fighter of foes, fools, filch-meisters, felons, Pharaohs, fumblesome fops, flops, flunkies and fiends has a book of his own!

Can the walking popsicle make it on his own?

All I know is he heads off to attend his father's retirement party but it turns out his parents still aren't happy that their son's a super hero.

To make matters worse, two people called White Light and The Idiot show up. 

Happily, he defeats those clowns but will his parents ever forgive him for using his mutant powers in front of everybody?

Forty years ago today - December 1984.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Wait!

What is that fair voice which, like a trilling princess, calls out to me?

Why, 'tis the past.

And I know in which way it lies.

The Avengers find themselves battling the Fist of Maelstrom, which sounds like the sort of fist you wouldn't want to find yourself having to battle.

It turns out that not only did Maelstrom not die the last time our heroes fought him but he's alive and well and growing rapidly.

But how can those heroes defeat a foe capable of becoming as big as he needs to be to crush them?

Simple. By making him grow so large he loses all density and fades away.

But, hold on. Didn't Reed Richards use that method to dispatch a foe, just a few months ago?

The X-Men finally defeat the Dire Wraiths, with a little help from the forces of magic. And Rachel Summers joins the team then tells them just where she came from and what happened to her version of the planet Earth.

Meanwhile, a fair distance away from all that, Magneto's corpse is fished out of the ocean.

But it's a lot more alive than it's supposed to be!

Spider-Man meets a man who's always right. A condition which leads to him wanting to be alone, in order to escape the constant demands of his fellow man.

The trouble is, people won't let him be alone.

Especially the criminal underworld who think that having a man who's always right on their side may prove advantageous.

It is intriguing that his power is basically the same as that of The Answer who died a couple of issues ago.

Is this pure coincidence? Or is there some kind of link between the two men? One that we - and he - have yet to discover?

Reed Richards makes the not-so-shocking discovery that the evil warlord who's happily ruining an entire world is his own father.

However, is the ageing scientist really to blame?

Or is his devious wife the true culprit of the piece?

Iron Man comes up against the maddening menace of the Termite, a villain who, despite his name and helmet, is not the Ant-Man knock-off we might expect him to be. He, instead, has the power to bore through anything.

Does that mean he bores his way through this comic?

No he doesn't. In that regard, he proves to be more than adequately entertaining.

Not that Rhodey thinks so, as he makes a total Horlicks of dealing with the villain.

And his distrust of Tony Stark is growing by the hour.

Having teamed up with the Kingpin, Daredevil fights the latest chapter in his interminable war with Micah Synn.

But, seriously, how can it be taking this long for him to put a stop to the activities of a cut-price Tarzan clone?

Conan has plenty on his plate when he and a bunch of rival thieves decide to steal from a temple, in a tale of greed, lust, confusion, possession and repossession.

The rapidly ageing Cap and Red Skull battle each other to the death - and it looks like death has indeed come for the pair of them.

But then, in a cop-out and a half, Black Crow shows up, for no good reason, de-ages Cap on the spot, and saves him.

Beta Ray Bill returns when the warriors of Asgard join forces with Earth's mightiest heroes to battle Surtur's hordes on the streets of New York.

But, back in Asgard, Odin waits alone to deal with the fire demon, should he show up in the Realm Eternal.

And Thor, the soft lad, has managed to accidentally create a rainbow which the villain can use to get to that self-same realm!

Spider-Man finds himself in Retro Mode, as he goes back to this old costume.

And that's not all. Mary Jane decides to tell his everyday alter-ego her less than fun-packed backstory.

Meanwhile, the Hobgoblin is putting himself around town and cutting himself in on everybody else's dodgy activities.

It's the thriller you thought you'd never see, when the Hulk finds himself on a planet where everyone is stronger than he is and where he's no longer invulnerable!

Still, at least he's still got his looks.

December 7th, 1974 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

And now for something completely different?

This week in 1974, it would soon be time for something completely absent, as the last-ever episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus was broadcast by BBC Two. Still, not to worry. The gang would soon be appearing on the big screen, courtesy of their first true feature film.

In no similar hurry to depart, however, was Barry White who, that week, hit the top spot on the UK singles chart, with his latest smash You're the First, the Last, My Everything.

But there was to be no change in sight atop that week's British LP listings where Elton John's Greatest Hits maintained the dominance it had established the week before. 

Remind me never to try and kill Dracula with a battery-powered torch.

Contained within the pages of this issue, the king of the undead bumps off someone called Ilsa and turns her into a vampire.

However, she's well narked that her lost youthfulness hasn't returned and, therefore, allows Rachel to kill her.

Elsewhere, Andrea Timly captures Jack Russell, in an attempt to obtain the location of The Darkhold. Which I'm pretty sure is what also happened in last week's issue.

And even more elsewhere, Frankenstein's Monster is befriended by an Arctic tribe of Inuit but, somehow, finds himself being attacked by Neanderthals!

Ignore that cover. The scene it depicts doesn't occur this issue, having already been portrayed in last week's mag.

Inside, there's Hellenistic trouble for the Avengers - or will be - because no less a fiend than Typhon has decided to snuff out the Promethean Flame and, thus, make all the gods of Olympus disappear!

Can the returning Hercules do anything to put things right before he too is afflicted?

Back on Earth, the rest of the team have a major problem, with Magneto looking to push the United Nations around.

Shang-Chi, meanwhile is in the Amazon, trying to prevent his father from gaining access to a Nazi super-weapon.

And Dr Strange is still battling to free his girlfriends from the clutches of Dormammu.

He succeeds on that front. But can he prevent the fiery-faced fiend from taking over the Earth?

I think the cover makes it clear this is the issue in which Taylor loses his court case, totally fails to prove he has apelike intelligence and is sentenced to death.

I am impressed by how high Dr Zaius' chair is on that cover. I wonder how many steps he has to climb to get to it?

More pressingly, I do believe we see the conclusion to the Gullivar Jones saga, as the Earthman finally defeats the two-headed rogue who's been holding Princess Heru captive, and then liberates the people of Mars from his tyrannical rule. Hooray!

No sooner has Ka-Zar sorted out that unpleasantness involving the Petrified Man than we get the arrival of Damon the Man-God and his subsequent attack on the Savage Land. 

We also encounter our first encounter with Bobbi Morse.

Drama follows drama when Spidey manages to keep the Human Torch at bay for long enough to cure Curt Connors of being the Lizard.

And I do believe he does so by throwing a barrel of talcum powder on the scaly scalliwag.

Has anyone ever tried this with the Hulk?

But it's big-time trouble for Tony Stark when a small-time crook steals his attache case.

I don't need to tell you this is disastrous, as that case contains his armour.

And that means the crook can become the new Iron Man and go on a crime spree with it.

There's only one thing for it. Tony's going to have to don his original armour and fight the usurper, despite his bad heart not being up to the strain.

In Thor's strip, the thunder god, Sif and Balder defeat Magnir and Brona but it'll all be in vain if Odin can't stop Forsung.

Captured by Dr Doom, with the world thinking him dead, Bruce Banner is forced to build a great big bomb for the Teutonic tyrant.

Back in the United States, the good news for New York is that Daredevil defeats the Leap Frog.

The bad news for New York is Mike Murdock makes his ever-loving debut and shares his hip, swinging and zingy personality with us all. Like, it's a ring-a-ding groovy blast, oh Daddy-O.

Elsewhere, the Thing concludes his epic battle with the Silver Surfer.

Or, rather, it's concluded for him by Reed and Sue who finally show up to talk some sense into his head.

I do believe the back covers of this week's comics feature a house ad for a whole bunch of Marvel badges we can buy if we dig deeply enough into our piggy banks.

And blow me down if a reproduction of that ad can't be found by clicking right here.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - December 1974.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Many were the splendours that awaited us if we dared enter a picture house as the year rapidly approached Christmas of 1974.

For instance, we could treat ourselves to such classics as Emmanuelle, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, The Towering Inferno, Young Frankenstein, The Godfather Part II, Island at the Top of the World and The Man With the Golden Gun.

It's difficult to pick a favourite out of that lot but I suspect I'm going to have to go for Young Frankenstein, even though I like The Man With the Golden Gun a lot more than everyone else seems to.

We all know there's nothing like a gorilla on the cover to boost the sales of a publication.

In which case, this month's Weird Wonder Tales must have positively flown off the racks, as it has no less than three of the beasts on the front of it!

Granted, that thing stood at the back doesn't look very much like a gorilla but, in the absence of any evidence to the contrary, I shall assume it to be one.

Lurking within, we uncover  a multitudinous five tales.

In the first, a doctor who transplants ape organs into humans is captured by several miffed monkeys who remove his head and place it on a gorilla's body.

In the second, an old woman adopts a doll brought to life by a freak electrical incident. For some reason, her neighbour tries to kill her but the doll sacrifices itself to save her.

In the third, a dream searches for the correct dreamer before midnight.

In the fourth, a mystic is accosted by an escaped convict.

While, in the fifth, a man asks his gangster brother for money towards creating a shrinking gas of his devising.

Readers may be startled to discover the fourth story features the first appearance of Chondu who would later reappear to pester the Defenders.

I should also add that all of these tales originated in the 1950s and '60s. 

How exciting. A brand new mag stabs its way onto our local spinner rack!

I know little of the contents of this one but I do know it holds a million and one stories from the likes of Steve Stiles, Skip Williamson, Tim Boxell, Howard Cruse, Basil Wolverton and others and is clearly an attempt to leap on the Underground Comics bandwagon, even though it's from America's biggest comics publisher and is, therefore, surely, by definition, not an underground comic?

Sadly, this title will hang around for just three issues before vanishing completely underground in the comic book graveyard.

And another humour mag appears from thin air.

Most of the stories in this issue are reprints from Crazy and/or The Monster Times but there is one new tale, thanks to Russ Jones and Mike Sekowsky.

That tale is called Fangs for the Memory! and stars the never-to-be-forgotten Count Fangula.

This title will go on to last for five issues.

The artist the world knows as JAD brings us an eye-catching cover when we're treated to such chillers as The Heart Devourer, High Midnight, The Vendetta, The Inheritance and Beware the Legions! The second and final tales star Morbius and Blade respectively.

The second Marvel Treasury Edition contemplates the deeds of the Fantastic Four.

And not just any deeds but The Galactus Trilogy itself.

Not only that. We're also privileged to encounter the thriller in which the Sub-Mariner and Dr Doom first team up.

To say nothing of the first appearance of the Impossible Man.

In Dracula's third Giant-Size issue, we discover Slow Death on the Killing Ground! I Was a Vampire, The Wedding Present, The Mark of the Vampire! and The Man Who Changed.

Only the first of those tales is a new one, having been brought to life by Chris Claremont and Don Heck.

From what I can make out, this issue contains the second part of  Marvel's adaptation of Robert E Howard's Conan the Conqueror, thanks to Roy Thomas and Gil Kane.

But there's more because we also find a reprint of Thomas and Smith's Zukala's Daughter. An adventure which was the first exposure to Conan some of us ever got, thanks to the legendary 1972/73 Fleetway Marvel Annual.

It's bad news for the magical medic because Silver Dagger's turned up!

Can it be true? Has the villain killed Dr Strange?

And if he has, is that really going to stop the Sorcerer Supreme?

And how does a caterpillar on a toadstool fit into it all?

Fifty years ago today - December 1974.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

The maelstrom awaits.

I shall enter it.

It's East vs West, as the Avengers mistakenly tangle with the Titanic Three who turn out, on this occasion, not to be the wrongdoers our heroes had assumed them to be.

Which, of course, poses the obvious question of just who are the bad guys?

That, I fail to remember but I do know this is the month in which we experience the Swordsman's funeral.

Judging by that cover, Conan must overcome the glummest-looking monster he's ever encountered.

I've never read this one but it seems the world's favourite barbarian and someone called Laza-Lanti kill the thing but then Laza-Lanti and someone called Timara commit suicide.

It all sounds quite depressing.

The Owl's back and making a nuisance of himself in San Francisco where Matt Murdock has gone in an attempt to reunite with the Black Widow.

However, their meeting is interrupted by muggers who work for the floating fiend!

"We can't stop him from exploding!"

They don't write dialogue like that anymore.

But is it true? Was this, as claimed, "The mightiest FF saga ever!"?

And was Mahkizmo the worst name in history for a villain?

These are questions I ask as I contemplate the nature of reality, from my mountaintop eyrie.

When it comes to plot, the testosterone terror gloats that our heroes can't thwart his plan to merge his world of Machus with that of Thundra's Femizons.

And, to prove it, he forces them to fight big monsters!

Hammer and Anvil make their first appearance when an injured alien mistakes their attempts to kill it for a successful attempt to help it.

Thus it is that it grants them super-strength and a lifelong bond that can't be broken.

Until the Hulk breaks it.

More importantly, this is the issue in which we meet Crackajack Jackson.

And then wave goodbye to him as he, sadly, snuffs it.

I sometimes think I'm the only person alive who appreciates the Grizzly but I've always had a soft spot for him, even if he is, basically, just a cut-price rehashing of the Rhino.

That said, I must admit I struggle to recall the actual plot of this one, beyond him being an ex-wrestler who wants revenge on someone for something or other.

And my memories of this one are also vague.

I suspect Thor's travelled to an underworld, in order to rescue the abducted goddess Krista from a villain not depicted on the cover.

Given that it's an underworld, I shall assume her abductor to be either Pluto or Mephisto.

I could, however, be wrong about that.

After visiting Professor X's funeral, Quicksilver goes back home to Magneto's lair but is plagued by doubts about having left the Avengers to rejoin his old master.

Needless to say, that can only mean an X-Men/Magneto scrap is on its way...

There's also a Lee/Ditko reprint in which a criminal kills a night watchman before fleeing into the past, with the aid of a time machine. But, there, he has a violent encounter with the machine's creator.

What's this? Steve Rogers creating a whole new identity for himself?

And calling it Nomad?

Is this a good idea or bad?

Only time - and the fashion police - can tell.

Until then, he's going to be needed because Madame Hydra's killed the original Viper and, having, adopted his name and costume, goes and reforms the Serpent Squad!

That's what Marvel's big hitters are up to.

But what of DC?

Just what will we find if we grab a random smattering of its books which bear the same cover date, from the spinner racks of our youth?

Plop! hits its eighth issue, with a Basil Wolverton image that'll inhabit your nightmares for as long as you may live.

Inside, we find a whole string of short tales of a humorous bent, from the likes of Wolverton, Steve Skeates, Dave Manak, Sergio Aragonés, Robert Johnson, Don Edwing and multitude others.

Weird Western Tales is a comic I was always tempted to buy, due to it looking like a horror comic but one I always failed to buy because of it being a Western mag.

Regardless, in this issue, Hex encounters a land owner who demands an exorbitant toll to cross his road.

This is bad news because those who refuse to meet the asking price are forced to take a detour through the deadliest of quicksand.

The Unexpected gets the 100-page treatment - and that means I'm expecting lots of reprints. 

Granted, if that proves to be the case then it won't be unexpected and the book will have failed to live up to its title.

But what was I worrying about? Upon closer inspection, it transpires that no fewer than four of its tales are brand new.

Those are the ones the world knows as Death of an Exorcist, Over My Dead Body, Panic in the Dark and Among Us Dwells a Man-Beast.

The issue's reprints, meanwhile, are blessed with such titles as The Fear Master, Bewitched for a Day, The Riddle of the Glass Bubble, The Wizard of the Diamond World, Doom Was My Inheritance, The Man Who Was Death, The Unlucky Birthstones and The Enchanted Costumes and are all sourced from the 1950s and '60s.

Nestor Redondo gives us an iconic cover, as DC's greatest swamp dweller returns to do whatever it is he does this month.

You may have surmised my knowledge of this one to be limited and you'd be right but I do know the story within is called The Leviathan Conspiracy and introduces someone called John Zero.

Can it be? Are DC's two most nocturnal crime fighters about to meet, despite the different eras in which they operate?

Yes it can when Batman sets off in pursuit of a known felon, falsely believing him to have stolen a priceless tiara.

But, of course, that's not all we're getting. This is, after all, a 100-page comic.

Thus it is that we also encounter The Great Batman Swindle!, The Strange Costumes of Batman!, A New Look for Robin, Heroes by Proxy!, Two Batmen Too Many! and The Failure of Bruce Wayne. All of which have been recycled from the distant past.

Jim Aparo gives us a cover that proves purple and green can go together.

What don't go together are the Spectre and the Third Reich. Thus it is that a self-declared Nazi field marshall meets a tentacular termination when he decides it's a good idea to try and blackmail the city, with threats of terror attacks.

Elsewhere, Aquaman must battle the deadly Bugala, a huge sea monster which is on course to destroy Atlantis itself.

But is that monster all it seems?