Fifty years ago today - April 1976.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Well, it's heady days indeed because I can start this post with a thrilling announcement. 

And it's that, because I'm no longer covering the Marvel UK monthlies - what with them no longer existing - space has opened up on this site for a new feature.

But a new feature is what any old website would do. Here at the House of Steve, we like to do things differently.

And, so, in that slot, I shall be doing the random DC summaries I've previously been doing as part of this feature. This will help streamline site workflow, increasing reader permeability to actualise gains in efficiency and help fully multi-scale the bootstrapping of a whole new paradigm shift.

Or something.

That, of course, means this feature will not include them.

But it will, of course, continue to include all your favourite Marvel heroes.

And Iron Man.

At last, Conan takes on his deadliest foes yet.

Moths!

And it all happens when Bêlit is captured by giant ones!

It may sound like just another day at the office for the dynamic duo, but it turns out to be a moment of great significance, as this is the tale in which we get to meet Amra himself!

It had to happen! It's the one in which Captain America and the Falcon find themselves in a deadly skateboard derby!

And I have a feeling that means it's the one in which our hero loses his shield and has a complete and total meltdown over it!

It has always struck me that it's not a very dignified response to something that happens to him almost every time he sets foot out of the house.

I can only assume all that skateboarding has, somehow, damaged his mind.

I think I might have had this one, as a youth.

Which would make you think I can remember something about it.

Sadly, I can't.

But the Grand Comics Database does tell me that Bullseye trounces Daredevil before the man without fear returns the favour.

Looking at that cover, I do wonder if the villain's devoted any thought at all as to what he's going to do when gravity kicks in and he has to start coming down after being fired from that cannon.

I assume this is the issue in which Power Man replaces bashless Benjy in the Fantastic Four?

However, I can share no thoughts upon the matter, as I don't think I've ever read any of the Power Man-related Fantastic Four stories.

At last, it's a comic whose contents I have proper familiarity with.

As far as I can recall, Hulkie and Man-Thingie tackle the Collector and, in a manner somewhat reminiscent of the Captain Omen story, it has a not-altogether-happy ending for some of its participants.

I don't think I've ever read this one but, from that cover, it would seem Happy Hogan's no longer just the Freak.

He's an exploding Freak!

In other news, I'd love to know what the promised dramatic new change is for Iron Man's armour.

It's not him getting rid of his nose-piece, is it?

Spidey does the Ellery Queen routine as he turns super-sleuth.

I remember watching the first episode of the 1970s Ellery Queen TV show and - when they stopped the show to challenge you to work out who the murderer was - I concluded that Ellery Queen was the murderer.

In my defence, I didn't realise it was a series and that, therefore, the protagonist wasn't likely to be the killer.

Unlike Murder She Wrote, where we all know Jessica Fletcher was always the murderer.

Anyway, I'm proud to announce that, when it comes to this comic, I did successfully guess who the killer was.

I must confess that Firelord's high on my list of annoying Marvel characters. His head may be on fire but he's never seemed to be too hot between the ears.

As for the adventure contained within this masterpiece; beyond the stuff that's on the cover, I have no idea what happens in it.

Hooray! The Sentinels are back, in a tale that gave me much pleasure, as a youth, even if the X-Men probably didn't enjoy it as much as I did.

Needless to say, the towering terminators are out to abduct various mutants, and our heroes have to stop them.

But, more importantly, is this the one that features cameo appearances by both Stan and Jack?

I do, of course, mean Lee and Kirby. Not Stan and Jack from On the Buses. I know Chris Claremont was born in England but I find it hard to believe even he'd throw in a tribute to those two.

The Assassin's still up to no good, even though I have no recollection, whatsoever, of the character.

Nor of whatever it is he or she's up to.

April 3rd, 1976 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

It's hard to believe there was a time when apples didn't exist.

But there was.

There was a time when the fruit hadn't yet evolved, the record company hadn't yet been launched and the computer firm hadn't yet been created.

But, by this week in 1976, the third of that mighty triumvirate had come into existence, thanks to Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak's formation of the Apple Computer Company in California.

But who was the apple of the British public's eye?

It was none other than the Brotherhood of Man whose smash-hit offering Save Your Kisses for Me was not only still Number One on the UK singles chart, it also, that very weekend, won the Eurovision Song Contest for us, as well.

Meanwhile, on the accompanying album chart; no less popular, in their own way, were Status Quo who retained their top spot, thanks to their latest LP Blue for You.

It's the battle of the flying horses, as the Black Knight takes on Arkon. But, before we can get to that, I do believe Conan must confront the horror of Lilitu the were-woman.

Next, the Avengers invade Arkon's world and finally get him to see through the Enchantress' trickery.

And, Iron Fist is up against Radion.

And I don't mean the washing powder.

I mean the one who's in the habit of going all nuclear on you.

It's a fact that can only spell curtains for the Post Office Tower!

Looking at that cover reminds me I was always struck by the ease with which human characters in Planet of the Apes movies, TV shows and comics could beat up gorillas. In response, I demand the BBC stages a fight between a man and a gorilla to see if it really is that easy.

Inside, I do believe Jason only has a chimpanzee to contend with, as he gets into a fight with one called Grimaldi, over the affections of a girl called Malagueňa.

Maybe it's just me but I'm not sure i'd seek out the affections of a girl who can't decide whether she wants a human or a chimpanzee.

Meanwhile, in the Savage Land, it could be the start of a beautiful friendship when Ka-Zar and Shanna the She-Devil get themselves independently captured by the Red Wizard.

And the Black Panther encounters Killmonger's latest assassin Salamander K'Ruel in the Forest of Thorns.

And that cover is a perfect example of why you should never go drinking and driving. Will Dracula never learn?

Inside, I think he's still bumping people off, on behalf of a fashion designer who can give him information about the whereabouts of Dr Sun.

Meanwhile, Moon Knight captures the Werewolf by Night, on behalf of the Committee.

And the Man-Thing gets into a fight with Wundarr who thinks the swamp monster is his mother!

As we can plainly see, the Cobalt Man's still causing trouble for our hero.

And he's doing it at sea!

Following that, naughty old Death's Head defeats Daredevil and then dresses him up as Death's Head, in the hope that the police will shoot him on sight!

Following that, Crystal's decided she should get the permission of the other Inhumans before she goes through with her plan to join the Fantastic Four.

Unfortunately, in a shocking and unprecedented twist, Maximus the Mad has gained control of the Great Refuge!

And, this time, he has the Alpha Primitives on his side!

But we complete the issue with a Lee/Kirby/Ditko short called I Fought the Molten Man-Thing! in which no one fights Ted Sallis's alter-ego but humanity is threatened by a monster from a volcano.

If it's Dr Strange's final battle with death, as the cover claims, does that mean he'll never have another one and is now immortal?

And, speaking of people who never seem to get round to dying, Aunt May's showing her usual sound judgement.

In the midst of a war between Dr Octopus and Hammerhead, she decides she'd best shoot Spider-Man!

After that, Thor's on the Stranger's home planet and having to ask Who Can Stop the Abomination?

As it turns out, Thor can.

With one punch.

We then get an article called Into Battle With Herb Trimpe which I shall assume to be about Herb Trimpe.

Following that, I do believe Dr Strange wraps up his fight with Silver Dagger.

Then, we encounter a two-page article labelled Spider-Man in Brighton.

Iron Man finds himself confronting The Statues of Doom! in a story with something or other to do with the Mandarin.

And Dr Strange and the Thing must work together when a mysterious woman's struck by a subway train and magic is involved.

I have no doubt the X-Men have plenty to worry about when they discover Mekano Lives!

As seen, last week, Captain America has captured the Adaptoid.

But that merely gives the antaganistic android the chance to absorb the powers of the Avengers, turning it into the Super-Adaptoid!

In his latest campaign against the surface dwellers, the Sub-Mariner gets himself captured by a ruler of a small nation.

But is he really the ruler?

And what does a character called the Gnome have to do with it all?

Nick Fury and his SHIELD agents attack the secret base of Them and come to the conclusion that Them and AIM are the same organisation.

And Captain Marvel's still battling Dr Mynde and Madame Synn who want to get their hands on the Pentagon's hidden stash of weapons.

Speak Your Brain! Part 121.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

Cluelessness. It's a powerful force in the world and can explain almost everything that ever happens in it.

But there's a good side to cluelessness - and that's when I'm the one who doesn't have a clue.

And, right now, I don't possess such a thing because, as we open this web page, we find me plunging, once more, into the feature in which even I have no idea what's going on.

It's the feature in which you get to decide just what shall be the topic of the day.

Therefore, feel free to make your mark in the comments section below and we shall see just what congeals into order from the chaos and uncertainty of creation.

The Innocents (1961).

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

"It's coming! It's in the trees!"

Oh. No. Wait. That's the wrong film.

But, famously, that movie had a director who wanted to leave audiences pondering whether anything supernatural was going on or if it was all in the characters' heads - until the producers decided to scupper that conceit by inserting a great big, magnificent demon into all scenes of high drama.

However, there were other films that were allowed to pull off the ambiguity trick.

And, surely, the greatest of them all is The Innocents, Jack Clayton's adaptation of Henry James' 1898 novella The Turn of the Screw.

In that film, a woman called Miss Giddens is hired as governess to two orphaned children in a big house in the middle of nowhere.

At first, everything seems idyllic, with the house located in beautiful environs and the girl Flora a delight.

But, after her brother Miles is expelled from his boarding school, for reasons opaque, and arrives back at the house, Miss Giddens starts to to become convinced that evil lurks in, around and behind every corner she encounters and that the spirits of dead servants Peter Quint and Mary Jessel are haunting the place and taking possession of the children.

For these were no ordinary servants. If the housekeeper Mrs Grose is to be believed, there was a serious air of the Heathcliff and Cathy about them, with acts of violence, cruelty, drunkenness and sexual depravity being carried out at every possible opportunity.

Can our heroine do anything to drive out those evil spirits?

She thinks so and sets out to do so.

But are there any ghosts?

Is she really a well-meaning woman trying to save two children from supernatural terror? Is she, instead, a sexually repressed woman carried away by fantasies stifled by Victorian ideas of propriety? Or is she simply a pervert concocting justifications for her unhealthy attraction to a young boy?

We never find out.

As well as its lighting, visual symbolism, and its impeccable cinematography by Freddie Francis, the film is distinguished by its cast which, apart from its first scene, effectively consists of just four actors. Deborah Kerr giving what she felt was her greatest ever performance, as the increasingly monomaniacal governess. Megs Jenkins as exposition engine Mrs Grose who believes the best way to deal with uncomfortable things is to ignore them. And Martin Stephens and Pamela Franklin as the children - with Stephens, in particular, giving a potent performance as an unnervingly adult boy, a feat he'd also pulled off in Village of the Damned.

With its labyrinthine corridors that must only ever be lit by clusters of candles, tension stretches tight across the house. Wanting to create an air of claustrophobia, director Clayton was horrified when ordered to shoot the movie in wide-screen CinemaScope but deftly turned that to an advantage, filling the edges of the frame with dark nooks, crannies and occasional hints of movement, to create the feeling that something could leap out at us at any moment.

Sound is also expertly manipulated, with repeated use of the song O Willow Waly - which we somehow recognise as a song we all grew up with, even though it was written specially for the film - while electronic sound effects by Daphne Oram and incidental music by Georges Auric and W. Lambert Williamson add to the mood.

The production also features a role for future Jason King star Peter Wyngarde as the late Peter Quint who never speaks but manages to loom out of the darkness whenever required.

Likewise, Clytie Jessop gets nothing at all to do but sit at a desk and stand ominously by a lake, as the possible ghost of Mary Jessel.

Overall, with William Archibald and Truman Capote's taut screenplay, its stylish lighting, lush cinematography, outstanding cast and enough ambiguity to keep you in arguments forever, The Innocents raises the genre of horror to the level of high art and is easily as imperishable as its servants.

March 27th, 1976 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

A member of the public would have noted that revolt was in the air, this week, fifty years ago. Not only did Argentina's military depose president Isabel Perón, a general strike broke out in the People's Republic of the Congo.

Rather more calmly, in the UK, Anita Roddick's Body Shop opened its first branch, in Brighton.

But also, it was a month in which Britain's General Bernard Montgomery died, aged 88, at his home in Hampshire.

And what of the music charts?

The Brotherhood of Man demonstrated the wisdom of mimicking Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree, when their noticeably similar Save Your Kisses For Me elevated itself to the top spot on the UK singles chart.

But the status quo was not disturbed on the accompanying album rankings, as the week saw Blur For You by the undisturbed Status Quo retain the Number One position it had seized the week before. 

Arkon may be back but, far more importantly, this is the week in which we get to find out if we're Mastermind finalists!

As I've never entered Mastermind, I'm assuming I'm not.

But I do know what my specialist subject would be.

It'd be this issue of The Avengers, even though I've never read it.

And that's why I can tell you that Conan finds himself caught up in an adventure the world can only know as The Warrior and the Were-Woman.

Elsewhere, when the Black Knight's captured by the forces of Arkon, while trying to dispose of his cursed sword, the Avengers know they must visit Arkon's dimension and punch the perpetrator in the gob.

But can even they prevail against the man-manipulating prowess of the Enchantress?

Across the Atlantic from all that, Iron Fist lands at Heathrow Airport - only for it to be destroyed by a man who calls himself the Ravager.

Not only that, this is the week in which we discover Misty Knight has a bionic arm!

She certainly kept that one up her sleeve.

But there's more than even that because, as a bonus feature, the Phantom Eagle's in sensational World War One action, thanks to Gary Friedrich and Herb Trimpe.

Jason and Alexander are back and having a trip up a river, in the company of an ape called Gunpowder Julius.

Following his recent adventures abroad, Ka-Zar's back in the Savage Land.

But he's already attracted the attention of the red Wizard and his servant Maa-Gor the man-ape.

And, looking to foil Killmonger's latest plans, the Black Panther must fight a T-Rex!

As that cover reveals, Brother Voodoo turns up in Dracula's strip.

But I do believe the lord of vampires is elsewhere engaged, after agreeing to kill a bunch of men, on behalf of a fashion designer who says she can help him find Dr Sun.

Elsewhere, a legend is born when a man called Moon Knight turns up at Jack Russell's home, looking to abduct him on behalf of someone called the Committee.

The Man-Thing finds himself in a narrative that seems strangely familiar when a space vessel lands in the swamp, containing a youth called Wundarr who's been sent to Earth because his scientist parents realised their world was about to be destroyed by a huge natural disaster.

The Cobalt Man is back!

And now he's dressed like an American footballer!

And it all starts when Bruce Banner stows away on a ship - only to discover it's on a deliberate collision course with a nuclear bomb test!

And it's all drama at Karen Page's family home too. No sooner has she got there than a brand-new villain called Death's Head shows up - threatens her and announces he's kidnapped her father!

Meanwhile, Crystal's still looking to become a member of the Fantastic Four, and gets her chance to prove herself when the Wizard attacks their HQ.

And, this time, it's serious! This time, he's got an improved pair of Wonder Gloves!

It's a terrible confession but I long ago discovered that, whenever I try to type, "Super-Spider-Man with the Super-Heroes," I always manage to manage to mistype it as, "Super Spider-Man with the Super-Herpes."

It's a terrible mistake but I remain convinced it's not as terrible as the one Spider-Man's making by swinging straight towards someone who's got a machine gun.

Regardless, what this cover tells us is that Hammerhead's made his UK debut - and has done so by getting himself into a war with Doc Ock!

Elsewhere, Dr Strange confronts Death and takes refuge inside the form of Eternity!

While, on a rather less grand plane of existence, the Mandarin hatches a plot to expose Tony Stark as Iron Man!

And things get tense for Thor when he finds himself on the Stranger's home planet and having to face the menace of the Abomination!

But, somewhere else entirely, the Thing, Captain America and Sharon Carter have travelled to the year 3018 and are now set upon helping the Guardians of the Galaxy free the Earth from the clutches of the Badoon.

When the Banshee's captured by factor Three's Spider-Bot, the X-Men wrongly think Spider-Man's to blame and, inevitably, a fight breaks out.

There's no rest for Captain America either. No sooner has he been attacked by the Adaptoid in the Avengers' Mansion than a villain called the Tumbler shows up and a three-way tussle breaks out.

Needless to say, Cap's more than a match for both his opponents.

Just as Subby's sure to be more than a match for whatever undersea menace he's offing this week.

I do believe Nick Fury and SHIELD enter a swamp, in a bid to find the HQ of Them.

And Captain Marvel and Rick Jones must survive an encounter with Dr Mynde and Madame Synn who have ambitions to take over the world.

Speak Your Brain! Part 120. Of bargains and anti-bargains.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

In the past few days, it's started to feel like spring has well and truly sprung in the environs I call my home.

But there's another kind of spring.

A spring into action!

And it's time for just that kind of spring because tonight sees the sensational return of a feature that can only be referred to as, "this feature."

Astonishing.

It's the one in which the first person to comment below gets to decide just what's to be the topic of the day.

And just what will they decide?

That is something that even a man as awesomely powerful and wise as I cannot know.

Therefore, feel free to get that particular ball rolling and we shall see just what magic unfolds, unfurls and unravels before our literal eyes.

Omega the Unknown #1.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

To my recollection, in my younger days, I only ever owned one issue of Omega the Unknown.

That was the one in which the world's least talkative hero had to fight a man who was armed with a spanner.

But there were other issues published.

Nine of them.

And no more.

But, as we all know, longevity's no guarantee of quality. If it were, On the Buses would be better than Fawlty Towers.

So, that in mind, just fifty years after reading that other issue, I shall promptly take a look at the instalment that started it all.

And it starts it all with our hero on another planet, fighting robots.

Who are these robots?

I don't know but they seem to have taken over his world and killed the rest of its inhabitants.

And, now, we're on Earth with a boy called James-Michael Starling who's clearly some sort of child prodigy in the process of being taken to New York for a taste of that state's schooling system - only for his parents to be inconveniently killed in a car crash that reveals them to be androids.

Next thing we know he's in a clinic, having just woken from a month-long coma. One in which he's had dreams about Omega and his battles.

His doctor wants to find out out just what's going on with him and, thus, his nurse Ruth Hart agrees to look after the boy, at her flat which he'll also be sharing with her roommate Amber, a feisty redhead who likes to call him, "Punk," and sets his adolescent juices flowing in a way Ruth can't.

Then, as James-Michael lies in bed, contemplating the day's events, a robot smashes in through the wall, only to be attacked by the pursuing Omega who's now fled his own world and arrived here!

The fight isn't going well for the blue-and-red-garbed muscleman but that's when James-Michael destroys the robot by firing blasts from his hands.

Blasts that leave marks on his palms.

Marks that resemble the Greek letter Omega.

What can it all mean?

I don't know.

And I suppose that's the point. Mystery and intrigue are patently designed to be the strip's main selling point, possibly compensating for the fact it's a little dry and none of the characters act or speak like any human beings anyone's ever met.

Clearly, when it comes to characters, the breakout star's going to be Amber who resembles Mary Jane Watson directly after receiving a refund from the charm school.

With its hero arriving on Earth from a destroyed world, and an orphaned child living among us, with exceptional abilities, it's impossible not to spot the hints of the Superman mythos at play.

Just as, with its youthful protagonist having an inseparable link to a super-hero, there are clear echoes of the original Captain Marvel. Not to mention Marvel Comics' not-so-original Captain Marvel.

And is it a coincidence that it's drawn by Jim Mooney who pencilled all those classic Supergirl adventures we all know and cherish?

But perhaps Steve Gerber can tell me what's going on.

He does, we must note, provide us, here, with a one-page article about the origins of the strip - and his and co-writer Mary Skrenes's role in it. 

On the one hand, this is a bad thing, as it means I'll have to read words instead of just looking at pictures and I'm not a man who buys comics because he wants to read words and not look at pictures. If I was, I'd be the sort of man who reads instructions on food packaging instead of just guessing how I'm meant to cook it.

But, on the other hand, this is a good thing, as answers may be forthcoming.

And, so, regardless, I shall plough ahead and read it.

And I've now read it.

Only to discover it doesn't give me any answers either.

That means I'm going to have to read more issues to find out what's going on.

Oh it's a cunning plan alright.

And it's possibly going to work.

March 20th, 1976 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Drama hit the United Kingdom, this week in 1976 because, as our regular correspondent Colin Jones recently pointed out, it was the week in which Prime Minister Harold Wilson resigned!

Elsewhere, Patty Hearst was convicted of having robbed a San Francisco bank, two years earlier.

Clearly in a more peaceable mood than Patty, was Tina Charles, as her only message to the world, that week, was, as so often, "I Love to Love." And it was a message that palpably hit home because, thanks to it, she remained Number One on the UK singles chart.

But there was change at the top of the accompanying LP rankings. For, their summit was grabbed by none other than Status Quo with Blue For You. I've never heard that album but, somehow, I feel like I know what it's going to sound like.

But what of television?

There wasn't much on the BBC, on March 20th, that leaps out at me but two things which do catch my eye were on BBC One, that very morning.

Those two things were Marine Boy and Champion the Wonder Horse. Who can forget Marine Boy clobbering people, with his electric boomerang and using his chewing gum that allowed him to breathe underwater?

Granted, I'm not sure why someone would give a child an electric boomerang if they knew he spent all his time underwater. Clearly, someone hadn't thought this through.

That person cannot have been Champion the Wonder Horse because we all know that Champion thought of everything.

As far as I'm aware, it's bad news, this issue, for Conan - as he's forced to work in a gold mine!

I suspect it won't be long before he's helping himself to a great big cartload of its contents.

But, first, he's going to have to fight off a giant slug!

Elsewhen, with the male Avengers making a Horlicks of tackling the Masters of Evil, it's up to the Lady Liberators to step in and save the day.

But is the day really saved?

And how does the Enchantress fit into all this?

When it comes to Iron Fist, I do believe the neon-knuckled, ninja-nobbling sensation's having to fight off vegetation during an adventure called In the Forest of Fear.

It's one of my favourite UK Planet of the Apes covers, as simians prove they can't tell the difference between toads and slugs.

Still, they do, at least, know to always shoot them in the nostrils, and that's what matters.

From that cover, I can only assume Jason and Alexander are back for their newest adventure. One that it seems they're unlikely to survive.

But that's not the issue's main story.

That honour falls to the last part of Marvel's adaptation of Conquest, in which the apes have their triumph and Caesar gets to deliver a speech.

Following that, Ka-Zar polishes off the menace of Victorius, despite having refused to take the super-soldier serum that would have boosted his prowess. Then, job done, Kev returns to his jungle home.

In Wakanda, while the Black Panther's fighting someone called Sombre, Killmonger and his men are rounding-up dinosaurs, for when they might come in handy.

But hold on.

Where are Jason and Alexander, as advertised on the cover?

They're nowhere to be seen is where they are. Yet again, a printing error has descended upon a Marvel UK mag and a cover has appeared before its time.

I am intrigued by just who it is Drac thinks he's ordering the Werewolf and Man-Thing to strike.

As - apart from him - they're the only people in the room, the only people they can strike are each other.

I'm no military expert but getting your allies to fight each other seems a bit self-defeating.

Then again, it is the 1970s. Maybe he's actually ordering them to go on strike.

I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. I hear monsters are low-paid and have to work nights.

Having said that, I suspect that nothing resembling the activities on this cover will occur within the comic itself.

Instead, I'm going to guess that Dracula's still being sought, for their enquiries, by the men of Scotland Yard. But can even the lord of all vampires survive an encounter with a feminist fashion designer?

Next, Jack Russell's hairy alter-ego is out in  the snow and on the hunt for the young daughter of Buck's current girlfriend!

Following that, Man-Thing becomes more eco-warrior than even Dave Angel, when F.A. Schist and his men decide it'd be a good idea to drain the swamp and replace it with an airport!

If I remember rightly, this is the epic in which Spider-Man loses his mask and has to wear a polythene one bought from a fancy-dress shop. A mask through which he can't breathe properly.

I think he also gets an ulcer, while he's at it.

And Aunt May's gone missing.

Because she's got a job, working for Doc Ock!

That's more new developments than you can shake a stick at but, on Asgard, it's the same old story.

Literally.

The realm Eternal is again under threat from an unstoppable foe - in this case Surtur - and no one can stop him except for Odin but Odin's having one of his epic power naps!

Fortunately, at the last possible moment, Balder finally manages to wake him and he swiftly dispatches the villain, causing everyone in Asgard to sing his praises and declare eternal loyalty to him

Everyone except Loki, of course.

Then, there's an oddity, as we get a one-page article dedicated to Dan Dare creator Frank Hampson.

We then get the answers to the Marvel Mastermind quiz. And I've no idea what those answers are, nor what the questions were.

Next up, Iron Man's fighting the Hulk.

But he isn't the Hulk! He's a robot being used by the Mandarin!

I'm assuming Dr Strange is still up against the deadly menace of Silver Dagger.

And we wrap up this action-packed issue with the Thing, Captain America and Sharon Carter on a far-flung future Earth that's ruled by the Badoon!

Captain America makes the cover but the issue kicks off with the X-Men deciding to attack the underground realm of Tyrannus, after the underground menace's latest escapades.

And, for that, they get their hands on a boring machine.

That is, a machine that can bore holes.

Not a machine that they all find boring.

After that, the Sub-Mariner fights the latest underwater menace to threaten Atlantis - and discovers It Walks Like a Man!

At the Avengers Mansion, Captain America's being tormented by bad dreams of his World War Two adventures.

But are they as innocent as they seem?

And do they have anything to do with the fact that the brand new AIM robot of death, the Adaptoid, is posing as Jarvis the butler?

Captain Marvel, meanwhile, is still battling the maddening menace of the man called Megaton.

And, while Nick Fury has a punch-up with the Druid, Jasper Sitwell sets out out find the location of that villain's HQ!

Can it be?

Can the Hulk have teamed up with that dastardly brute the Juggernaut, in order to bust out of Hulkbuster Base?

Yes, it can.

But not for long, as, given the volatile nature of the duo, it's not long before they're at loggerheads.

And ones that can only be resolved by the mental powers of Professor X and Marvel Girl!

When it comes to Daredevil's strip, it's Karen Page who takes centre stage when, in need of time off, following the "death" of Matt Murdock, she pays a visit to her dad's house.

Only for it turn out there are spooky shenanigans going on there!

Now that Sue Richards has just given birth to the spawn of she and Reed, it looks like she's not going to be getting into any life-or-death scraps in the near-future.

And that can only mean one thing.

That it's time for Crystal to join the Fantastic Four, in her place!

Reed Richards isn't convinced she's up to he task but an attack by the Wizard, on their Baxter Building HQ, will soon give her the chance to demonstrate her worth.

And, most intriguing of all, this week's issue contains the inclusion of a Neil Tennant article about Marvel's operations in the various countries of Europe.