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The year may be new but the comics are still old.
Somewhere in the tunnels of Limbo, the Legion of the Dead leave the Avengers feeling mortified, as the Celestial Madonna Saga lumbers on and, hopefully, we get a little closer to the truth of what's going on with Immortus and Kang.
I'm pretty sure this is the one in which Conan defeats his foe by using his brain and dissolving his feet.
I do, of course, mean he dissolves the monster's feet. Not his own.
Dissolving your own feet, as a tactic, would be stupid and counter-productive.
Nor do I mean that he dissolves the monster's feet by rubbing them with his own brain.
I can reveal he doesn't rub anyone's feet with anyone's brains.
Just to get it straight, no one's brains rub anything in this story.
Judging by that cover, this one certainly seems action-packed.
Inside it, wearing the guise of Nomad, Steve Rogers battles the Serpent Squad and Krang to prevent them from using an oil platform to raise Lemuria to the surface.
I'm assuming this must be a big oil platform.
Needless to say, this leads to the villain having to fight three heroes instead of just two, and the Black Widow and Shanna help Daredevil take the fool down.
But it's not all good news because, when the scrap's over, our hero must return to New York without the Widow.
But is it really him? I forget exactly what the shock reveal is as regards his true identity but I have it in my head that he's really Reed Richards in disguise.
I'm struggling to remember but I think Bruce Banner gets a job in a lab, by passing himself off as a skilled janitor but it all leads to Zzzax making an electrifying return in which he has the hots for a young woman.
In some ways, this issue does seem to serve as a prototype for the Incredible Hulk TV show and its protagonist's ability to land employment in any profession, anywhere, at will.
Iron Man becomes Irony Man - doomed to die at a comic book convention.
As well as George Tuska; Neal Adams and Frank Brunner seem to have a hand in the pencilling of this issue.
And the story itself features cameo appearances by Roy Thomas and Mike Friedrich.
The stakes get ramped up to 11 when the Jackal attaches a tracking device to Peter Parker's arm. One that will explode if he tries to remove it.
Not that the webbed wonder's going to let that prevent him from putting an end to the Grizzly's reign of furry terror.
I can't remember.
In truth, I can't recall anything at all about this one but I think his opponent may be called Armak and may be a caveman who's been revived and has, somehow, gained super-strength.
That's Marvel's big shots dealt with.
But what of DC comics?
What can we find if we open a random selection of its books which choose to bear a cover date of January 1975?
Batman.
Who is he?
What is he?
Why is he?
It seems we may be in danger of getting an answer to all of that, thanks to him getting his very own Famous 1st Edition.
That's right. It's a reprint of 1940's Batman #1 in which the dark detective faces a new clown-like criminal who's killing celebrities and stealing their possessions, while, somehow, leaving them with a smile on their face!
In another tale, our hero faces a criminal who's invented a serum which creates giant monsters!
Elsewhere, Batman and Robin take a trip on a yacht, in an attempt to prevent the Cat from stealing a necklace.
Even more elsewhere, the Joker escapes from prison to resume his murderous rampage.
And we're treated to a Bill Finger article labelled The Legend of the Batman - Who He Is and How He Came to Be!
But DC are clearly determined to spoil us because we're also presented with adventures for Major Bigsbe an' Botts. Plus, Detective Terry Gallant and Lt Bill Wayne. Not to mention Ginger Snap and Uncle Zep.
And, in a one-page feature, we meet Batman "creator" Bob Kane.
The comic that only ever gives us true stories of the supernatural gets its reward for such honesty by being granted a Limited Collectors' Edition.
But what happens inside that dark and eldritch tome?
I can share few details. Mystery, of course, being an uncertain thing.
But I do know we find chillers which bear such titles as A Specter Poured the Potion, Death's Bridegroom!, The Horrors of Witchcraft, The Dark Goddess of Doom, Death, the Pale Horseman!, The Spectral Coachman!, The Crimson Claw!, Famous and Infamous Ghosts, The Fanged Spectres of Kinshoro, Death Awaits Me, The Diabolic Cult of Voodoo, Ghost Cargo from the Sky and Death Is My Mother, mostly reprinted from the very earliest issues of the monthly mag of the same name.
It's the big one, as our two favourite Jim Aparo drawn heroes get to join forces.
Frankly, I'm not sure why the Spectre would need to enlist the help of Batman. Then again, I'm not sure why Superman would either but, still, it keeps happening.
Bizarre murders are being committed by upstanding citizens who turn out to be impostors. They're then discovered to be possessed by the spirits of worshippers of Kali.
And they're out to enable that goddess's resurrection!
But, of course, there's more. For this is a 100-page comic and even the Spectre and Batman can't be expected to fill a hundred pages.
Therefore, the Teen Titans prevent an invasion from another dimension, an heir to a throne is assigned to deliver the Sun Ruby to a neighbouring kingdom and, as the Silent Knight, he surmounts all obstacles, Batman's pursuit of a new villain is complicated by Wonder Woman and Batgirl falling in love with him, and we encounter The Many Lives of the Spectre.
On top of all that, Bob Rozakis takes a look at DC heroes whose careers began with their death, or near-death. Off the top of my head, the only ones I can think of who fit that category are the Spectre and Deadman but I've no doubt there are many more where they came from.
And, needless to say, I was impressed.
Granted, not so impressed that I can recall exactly what happens in it but I do recall that it's all kicking off in Central America where people are being killed by a mummy, after disturbing its tomb.
Needless to say, it's all a ruse and the mummy's not the real deal.
Also needless to say, the Shadow knows.
Kirby and Simon give us a cover guaranteed to make sure none of us ever venture into our attic for as long as we might live.
In our first story, a man called Paul Darvas orders a new cloak - only to discover it's been cursed by Asmodeus himself.
Next, we sail into a single-page retelling of the mystery of the Mary Celeste.
Then, someone called Sylvia goes on a date with a Doctor Austin. But it's not long before Sylvia discovers his family's hidden secret.
Finally, while stricken with fever, a young boy describes life in ancient Rome.
And does it in perfect Latin, despite not even being Italian!
Needless to say, these chillers are all reprints. In this case, from the 1950s.
Luis Dominguez's frontispiece seems guaranteed to make even the most jaded of fans want to grab this comic from its position on that spinner rack and take it home with them. While, inside it, we unearth a trio of terrifying tales that boast spine-chilling titles like Doom On Vampire Mountain, Drive-in Death and Blood Moon.
All of them narrated, as we'd expect, by none other than Eve herself.
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