But wait! I don't understand!

The comics of my youth were legendarily notable for their adherence to strict logic and intellectual consistency. Even so, there were things in them that I never understood and, because I've no good ideas for a post today, I thought I'd list a few of them, in the hopes that answers might be forthcoming.

I could understand how unstable molecules could enable Reed Richards' clothing to stretch but how, exactly, could the Human Torch set himself alight and then, when he returned to normal, his clothes, which had previously been aflame, were totally undamaged?

For that matter, how could the Invisible Girl still see when she was invisible? Surely, light rays would just pass through the backs of her eyeballs?

Why didn't Bruce Banner ever move to somewhere peaceful, in order to avoid excitement? For a man terrified of drama, it seemed odd that he always hung around permanently-besieged military bases.

Just how could the Hulk leap vast distances, while the Thing, who wasn't that much weaker and was lighter, only seemed to be able to jump a few feet?

Would Thor's technique of spinning his hammer round and round and round and then letting it pull him through the sky actually work? I mean, the fact that I've never seen anyone do it would imply that it wouldn't but I can't think of any reason why it wouldn't.

How did Spider-Man cling to walls when he was wearing gloves and boots?

How did he take perfect photos with a camera that was hanging from some webbing and just randomly pointed at nowhere in particular?

How did the Green Goblin's eyes work? They clearly weren't Norman Osborn's real eyes but seemed to be the Green Goblin's real eyes, even though they were part of a mask.

How did the Angel manage to hide those gigantic wings underneath a business suit?

When Cyclops blasted something with his massively powerful optical blasts, why didn't it knock him off his feet? And, surely, if he hit the Juggernaut with one, the impact would break his own neck?

How did the Sub-Mariner fly with those tiny little ankle wings and how come they seemed to propel him with the speed of a rocket?

Why did the Atlanteans' hair always hang normally, even though they were underwater?

How did Iron Man bend his arms and legs, when his armour had no joints in it? I know Marvel once tried to claim his arm and leg armour was made of chain mail but that clearly wouldn't have the rigidity and strength-giving powers his outfit clearly possessed.

Then again, just how did transistors enable him to fire pebbles that would quickly grow to the size of boulders, or to massively increase the strength of magnets, or to project multiple images of himself? I still don't know what transistors actually are but I suspect they can't do any of those things.

As the Silver Surfer had the power of time travel, why didn't he just travel forwards or backwards to an era when Galactus' space barrier didn't exist, and then leave Earth?

Why did the Leader need a brain that was two foot tall, in order to contain his massive intellect, when he didn't seem to be any more intelligent than Reed Richards who only had a normal-sized brain?

How did Wonder Woman find her invisible plane? And how did she find the controls when she was flying it?

Why did Bruce Wayne decide to dress up as a bat, in order to instill fear into criminals, when, if I was robbing a bank and a man turned up dressed as a bat and claiming to be called, "Batman," I'd just roll around laughing?

Also, how did Batman get all those giant-sized items of memorabilia, like the huge coin and the robot dinosaur, into his Batcave, bearing in mind its entrance was barely big enough for a car to get through? For that matter, did he have a permit for that nuclear reactor?

How come Jim Corrigan hadn't arrested a single criminal since 1940 but never lost his job?

Where did the Super-Pets live when they weren't in a story? Were they just abandoned in the Fortress of Solitude and left to starve?

How were both Mon-El and Superboy allowed to be members of the Legion of Super-Heroes when the team's constitution said that all members had to have a unique power?

The Phantom Stranger. Did he have a house? Did he live in it?

Those are just a few of the questions that haunted and tormented my childhood. You may have answers to them.

Then again, you may have questions of your own which have always needed answering. If so, feel free to share them in the comments section below and, who knows, maybe some of us may finally be able to come up with much-needed solutions.