1st Issue Special #4 - Lady Cop!

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

There comes a time in every blogger's life when he must confront the inevitable.

And that inevitable is Lady Cop.

Lady Cop is, of course, a legend in comic circles and probably owes nothing at all to the TV show Police Woman.

But how does it go?

One day, Liza Warner's minding her own business, lying under her bed, when a man wearing skull and crossbones boots decides to murder her flatmates before leaving behind a playing card with the Ace of Spades on it.

Needless to say, this makes her feel bad and, so, because an officer of the law's told her she has great powers of observation, she decides to become a cop, so she can track down and bring the mysterious killer to justice.

After what seems like five minutes of training, she graduates but the ceremony's interrupted by an ex-trainee who flunked the academy and reacts as anyone would, by opting to explode everyone present. Fortunately, Liza bursts into action, smacks him one, grabs his grenade off him and disposes of it in a trash can.

From that moment on, no longer is she just Liza Warner. She is now, indisputably and for always, Lady Cop.

Instantly upon starting work, Lady Cop's plunged into a world of violence and VD.

Fortunately, it's not her own VD but that of a young girl who she discovers being threatened, on a rooftop, by her appalling boyfriend.

When he tries to foist his attentions upon our heroine, she arrests him and his bezzie mate but, as he's taken away in the car, he swears he will have his revenge upon Lady Cop.

Not that she cares. She's still on the lookout for the man in the boots.

And for the girl with the clap, who's run away.

Still, a woman doesn't live on arrests alone and, so, she takes a break from crime-fighting, to buy an ice cream for a black girl with no money.

That done, she, instantly, has to deal with a man robbing a grocery store. He knifes her in the arm but that's not going to stop Lady Cop and she swiftly beats him up.

But the grocer's stopped breathing!

Presumably, this is due to a heart attack, rather than ennui and thus it is that she has to give him mouth to mouth. This is the third occasion, so far in the tale, where her lips have met those of another.

Speaking of which, Lady Cop might be a one-woman justice machine but she's still a human, which means that, the day's work done, she then has to get some canoodling-time in with her never-before-mentioned boyfriend who demands she quits her job, so his friends'll stop laughing at him.

You might think she'd dump him at this point but she's too busy worrying about catching the man who killed her flatmates.

It's at this moment you realise we're about to get the shock revelation that her boyfriend is the killer.

Except we don't. We get more of VD Girl who Lady Cop now convinces to tell her father about her disease.

At first, her father takes it well by trying to punch her in the face but, with a quick speech, Lady Cop gets him to calm down and that's that sorted.

Except, no sooner has she done that than a friend of VD Girl's boyfriend appears and attacks Lady Cop with a chain. She and he plunge into the river but he can't swim, so she has to rescue him.

And, as the day ends and Lady Cop stands there, looking sideways at some buildings, she wonders if she'll ever catch her flatmates' killer.

And did she ever catch him?

I don't know. Apparently, after this, she made the odd appearance in other comics, including the Atom's and has even shown up on TV, in a more sinister form but what became of her mission, I've no idea.

What's good about this comic is it doesn't bore you. Robert Kanigher's script just rattles along at an insane pace, with incident piled upon incident, until you start to wonder how the poor woman doesn't have an untreatable level of PTSD before she even reaches her first lunch break.

It's also pleasingly drawn by John Rosenberger and Vince Colletta in that DC Romance comic house-style we're all familiar with.

What's bad about it is pretty much all the stuff that's good about it. It's so dramatic and incident-packed that it quickly becomes ludicrous, especially as Liza has no space at all to develop as an actual human being and just becomes a walking paragon.

Also, to be honest, the violence is a bit too sexy for my liking. I can't help feeling it's not sending out a good message to readers, and the dialogue's often ridiculous, to boot. I know VD's no laughing matter but Lady Cop's repeated pronouncements about it quickly turn it into one.

And there is, of course, the fact that everyone she encounters, from her own colleagues to criminals to victims, instantly takes to calling her, "Lady Cop," on sight.

You know what it all reminds me of?

Atlas Comics. With its rampant drama and lack of believable characterisation, it feels just like an Atlas comic but without the cannibalism.

So, this means I can't recommend it?

Too right I can.

It's Lady Cop. It's unique. It's magnificent and nobody should go to their grave without having read it.

May 27th, 1981 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

We all love a good triumph and, on this night in 1981, Liverpool football club achieved just that, by beating Real Madrid 1-0 to lift the European Cup and become the first British club to win that trophy three times. They have, of course, since gone on to be crowned champions of Europe on six occasions.

In response to that, some Liverpool fans may have been asking, "How do you like them apples?" but someone who really was asking that question was Judith Hann, presenter of that night's The Risk Business on BBC One.

That's because she was covering Le Crunch for the Cox? as British and French apple producers went to war with each other to win the battle for the hearts and minds of the British public, with UK producers unleashing a brand new breed of apple upon supermarkets, to try and counter the seemingly unstoppable rise of the French varieties.

Over on BBC Two, Sir Hugh Casson was taking a look at Castle Drogo in Devonshire, the last castle ever to be built in Britain. 

Constructed between 1911 and 1930, it was built by order of Julius Drewe, owner of the grocery chain Home and Colonial which is not a business I could claim to have ever heard of.

Matt Murdock decides to give up being Daredevil, as that identity's cost him the love of Karen Page.

Unfortunately, Biggie Benson's killer robot has no sense of romance and is about to force him out of retirement, in no uncertain terms.

The Black Panther's still enmeshed in the battle for King Solomon's Frog and is telling Zanda and Mr Little they're going to have to team up to deal with the Six Million Year Man.

I can't believe it took me decades to realise the Six Million Year Man's alternate name, "Hatch-22," is a play on Catch-22.

I have, at least, always noticed what, "The Six Million Year Man," is a play on.

It's the fight you always wanted to see - the Micronauts and SHIELD vs Hydra and Baron Karza.

To be honest, that's not a fight I ever wanted to see.

I would, though, love to see Baron Karza leading Hydra.

Elsewhere, ROM and the X-Men are still tackling the Hybrid.

And I believe Conan's still having trouble with the city of short people who worship a giant bear.

Tragically, I've no news of what Captain Marvel and the Star Trek gang are up to.

Hooray! Captain America's in Britain!

I do believe it's the one in which Baron Blood returns and the murders soon start to pile up in a remote English village.

I can shed no light upon what Iron Man and the Dazzler are doing.

However, it looks to me like The Defenders have arrived in the home dimension of the various Lunatiks, only to find the Hulk and Dr Strange are already there.

Thor's still searching for his missing father but, horror of horrors, the thunder god's been captured by the beings known as the Soul Survivors who seem to have total confidence in their ability to keep him prisoner.

In other news, I think the Watcher's still asking what would have happened if Dr Strange had been a disciple of Dormammu.

And I know The FF are up against Diablo, which is good news for those of us who've always been fans of the awful alchemist.

The Hulk's in Japan, fighting Glenn Talbot's flying tank, on the side of a volcano, while an ageing film director bores everyone senseless by going on and on about honour.

Sadly, things don't go well for Glenn.

Or for the volcano.

We also get a Team-Up tale that features Spider-Man, the Hulk, Woodgod and the X-Men. Now that's what I call an overcrowded story.

Meanwhile, in his own strip, Spidey's tackling the watery menace of Hydroman.

And, of course, we get more from the origin of The Cat.

Speak Your Brain - the sensational new feature that's setting the internet alight.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Because you The Reader demanded it, here's where I launch a brand new feature where the first person to comment gets to set the topic for discussion in the comments section below.

When I say, "New," obviously, it's borrowed from the redoubtable Back in the Bronze Age blog whose Redartz has given me permission to replicate it here. Thank you, Red.

So, anyway, who's going to set the topic?

The Marvel UK summer specials for 1981.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

The crashing of hailstones and lightning outside can only mean one thing.

It's summer!

And that can only mean five things.

Summer specials!

Captain Britain's ability to have summer specials and annuals when he doesn't even have a comic anymore is truly remarkable. And here he is, doing it again.

Those who recognise that cover will not be surprised to discover that, inside, the UK's finest sceptre swinger teams up with Spider-Man to foil the far-from-amusing amusement experiences of Arcade.

It looks like we're getting the recent tale in which Spider-Man and Subby have to deal with the freshly escaped Frightful Four, and their new member Llyra, who transfer the wallcrawler's spider-sense into Prince Namor, leaving both heroes distinctly discombobulated.

Also, the hot neighbour Peter Parker dumps Debbie Whitman for turns out to be Llyra in surface-dweller guise.

D'oh.

Star Trek gets its own summer special.

I know little of the contents, other than that the Phaetonians are involved.

Not that I have the slightest clue who the Phaetonians are.

I do know a giant space monster shows up.

I also know this book has a Dave Cockrum pencilled look at the recent movie's uniforms, for the benefit of any fashion victims who may be reading.

It's trigger-happy-thrills-a-go-go, as Wild West action hits the UK spinner racks.

The tales in this one involve Caleb Hammer, Matt Slade and, also, the Pony Express.

Seriously, you don't mess with those ponies.

Hooray! Cap gets his very own summer special!

And he's even allowed to appear on the cover!

And what's even more exciting is that it retells his origin.

Now, at last, after all these years of wondering, we'll find out how he came to be!

It's the Roger Stern/John Byrne retelling, so is, at least, guaranteed to be a good one.

We also get three posters, featuring Winghead and Shellhead.

That's because Cap can't be trusted to have an entire book to himself. So, Iron Man also has a tale. Tragically, the Dazzler is nowhere to be seen.

I can shed no light upon what Iron Man's story involves.

May 20th, 1981 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Those wise souls who follow both this blog and football will be relieved to hear that, this week in 1981, the 100th FA Cup final, at last, had a winner, as Tottenham Hotspur beat Manchester City in the replay at Wembley with a 3-2 win giving the London club the trophy for the sixth time in its history.

The UK singles chart was also witnessing triumph, as Adam and the Ants' Stand and Deliver retained the Number One spot by holding off the challenge from You Drive Me Crazy by the near-omnipotent Shakin' Stevens.

However, over on the album chart, even Adam had to make way for the arrival of the biggest threat to western civilisation since Genghis Khan first climbed on a horse, as the nightmarish Stars on 45 by Starsound hit the top spot. Who wouldn't want to sit through forty minutes of your favourite songs being hacked to pieces, their corpses laid, end to end, over a disco beat so dead that even Victor Frankenstein couldn't revive it?

We're taking a trip back to the distant past when Stilt-Man decides to wreck Foggy's chances of becoming DA, by wrecking Foggy.

Fortunately, Daredevil's on hand to put a stop to such shenanigans but even that heroism doesn't prevent Foggy from falling out with Matt Murdock.

This story, of course, had already appeared in the pages of Mighty World of Marvel in the mid-1970s.

Elsewhere, I would assume the Black Panther's still mixed up in the horror of King Solomon's Frog.

Speaking of things that have already appeared in the pages of a mid-1970s Marvel UK book, we get the origin of The Cat which featured in The Super-Heroes, way back in the days when the Bay City Rollers ruled the pop charts.

I do note the cover claims that The Cat goes on to become Hellcat which is, of course, wrong. She goes on to become Tigra who just happens to be in this week's Team-Up tale when Kraven sets her on Spider-Man.

In Spider-Man's solo strip, it would appear we get the first appearance of forgettable Sandman knock-off Hydro-Man.

And the Hulk's probably still battling Glenn Talbot's flying tank thingy on top of a Japanese volcano while an old film director blathers on endlessly about tradition and a robot dragon goes on the rampage.

The Dazzler's still striving to overcome Dr Doom and would appear to be battling an evil version of herself.

Meanwhile, I do believe Captain America's still in the process of saving New York from Mr Hyde's exploding oil tanker.

To be honest, I don't have a clue what Thor's up to but I'm sure it's in space and it's dramatic.

The Watcher seems to still be demanding to know what would have happened if Dr Strange had become Dormammu's disciple instead of becoming the Ancient One's.

And the actions of the Fantastic Four are a total mystery to me.

Hooray! Captain Marvel returns to the pages of Marvel UK, though I don't have a clue what the story is.

The crew of the Enterprise is up to something. ROM is up to something. The Micronauts are up to something. Conan's up to something.

If only I knew what any of those things are.

2000 AD - April 1983.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

The sky was the limit in April 1983 because that was when the Space Shuttle Challenger set off on its maiden voyage which I don't think was to anywhere in particular.

Launched in the cinemas, that month, were a whole bunch of films, perhaps the most notable, from my perspective, being Flashdance and The Hunger.

I have seen one of those films. It is not Flashdance.

Thinking about it, I have seen Flashdance. I was getting it mixed up with Dirty Dancing.

Then again, I think I might have seen Dirty Dancing too. It may be Footloose that I haven't seen.

Then again, I might have seen Footloose. I'm not sure.

Now that confusion's cleared up, let's see what was happening in the British charts that April.

When it came to singles, David Bowie managed to stay at Number One for almost the whole month, thanks to Let's Dance but was dethroned, at the very end, by Spandau Ballet's True which isn't really my cup of tea but, I believe, was the most played track on US radio in the 1980s, so clearly others liked it. 

Over on the album chart, there was a fair amount of churn, with the month kicking off with Pink Floyd's The Final Cut on top before that was superseded by Bonnie Tyler's Faster than the Speed of Night but then that too was slain, by David Bowie's Let's Dance.

And what of the galaxy's greatest comic?

It was still giving us Robo-Hunter, Judge Dredd, Rogue Trooper, Tharg's Time Twisters, Invasion of the Thrill-Snatchers and Skizz.

Prog 314 also gave us a Tharg Special Thriller called Mr Macabre whose title alone suggests it may be worthy of investigation.

Prog 311, meanwhile, delivered the yarn What a Load of Rubbish by Keith Law and Eric Bradbury though I've no idea what that was about.

Judge Dredd seems to have been battling a menace called The Starborn Thing for the whole duration.

And Prog 310 gave us Tharg's Video Games Guide which was handy, as Prog 312 offered us the chance to win Activision video games.

May 13th, 1981 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Don't like certainty?

Love a bit of indecision?

If so, this week in 1981 was a great one for you, as Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur drew 1-1 in the 100th FA Cup final.

Far less indecisive was Ken Livingstone who, that week, became leader of the Greater London Council, thanks to the Labour Party gaining control of it.

Also in that city, audiences got to see the first-ever performance of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, at the New London Theatre.

Cats might seem dramatic to some but, in the real world, things were rather more dramatic, where the Vatican City was shocked by an assassination attempt on Pope John Paul II as he entered St Peter's Square. He survived, as did his assassin.

It's the one we've all been waiting for, the meeting of Marvel's least powerful heroes, as Daredevil takes on Captain America to find out who's the weaker!

If I remember right, DD gets exposed to radiation while dealing with some scientific crisis or other and it turns him so evil that he decides to take on Cap in a charity boxing match.

Sadly, before the inevitable draw either man can win, the radiation wears off and DD decides to depart the scene, leaving Cap, DD and the crowd clueless as to what's been going on.

It seems the cover story's reaching its climax, as Cap and Batroc unite to foil Mr Hyde's plot to destroy New York with an oil tanker.

Elsewhere, possibly Latveria, Dazzler's a captive of Dr Doom.

I don't know what Iron Man or the Defenders are up to, though, judging by last issue's contents, I suspect the latter heroes are having renewed trouble with Lunatik.

Thor would appear to have hit the peak of his encounter with the animal-men pirates from space.

But what's this? Could it be the Grey Gargoyle's now on his side?

In other news, the current activities of the Fantastic Four and Dr Strange are a mystery to me.

That cover looks familiar from somewhere...

Anyway, the X-Men mistake ROM for an evil mutant and try to beat him up. They then realise their mistake and help him beat up someone else.

They then accidentally fling ROM into Limbo.

What a bunch of morons.

I suspect some readers will be relieved to hear this is the final issue that features Weirdworld. At least, that's what the cover claims.

Meanwhile, the crew of the starship Enterprise are up to something but I don't know what.

And we get a map of the Microverse which, I'm sure, is a thing we've always wanted.

Holey Moley! Kraven's gained control of Tigra and is getting her to attack Spider-Man? What hope is there now for our arachnid adventurer?

Meanwhile, in a totally unrelated tale, Spidey's on a ship and fighting the Sub-Mariner who's in one of his war-on-the-surface-dweller moods.

And, the recent unpleasantness with The Presence and Dr Phobos out of the way, the Hulk's battling Glenn Talbot's flying tank thing.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - May 1981.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

May 1981 was not a classic period in the field of Cinema.

It was, however, the month which saw the release of such gems as Lady Chatterley's Lover starring Sylvia Krystel and nobody else I've ever heard of and, also, a film called Polyester. I dread to think what that's about.

I was going to claim I've never heard of this comic before, despite it being issue #26 but it turns out I highlighted issue #25 in March's Lucky Bag. That was the one which featured the Black Widow and the Daughters of the Dragon.

This issue's made up entirely of Kull adventures drawn by John Bolton and scripted by Doug Moench and I don't know what happens in any of them.

There's so much concentrated Kullness in this book that I wonder if the tales were originally intended for a monthly comic that never happened and were then collected here, in order to make use of the material?

I must confess I've included this one purely because it's such a bizarre cover.

I'm suspecting it may have been inspired by the front of Fantastic Four #37, the one in which the FF invade the Skrull's homeworld in search of the scoundrel who killed Sue and Johnny's dad.

Whatever the case, it would appear this tale's set on Earth where a bunch of criminals have added a hallucinogen to Chicago's water supply.

I remember reading an article in the Fortean Times, once, which claimed that, in the early 1970s, the US military experimented with the idea of pouring LSD into reservoirs to make it easier to invade other people's countries but the plan had to be dropped when it was realised it would require all the LSD on Earth to even have any effect on just one reservoir.

It's a thrilling time for us all, as ROM meets the X-Men!

Granted, it's not that thrilling for ROM - because the instant they set eyes on him, they assume he's an evil mutant and attack him.

Then, they accidentally fire him into Limbo.

What a bunch of morons.

It had to happen! Spidey meets the Mole Man!

I say it had to happen but I can't remember it ever having happened before, which is a remarkable thing, given that both characters have been around since the early 1960s.

Apparently, our hero also encounters Blizzard in this one.

Master of Kung Fu hits its 100th issue, even though, as Colin's pointed out previously, it's not really the 100th, thanks to Marvel's liberal approach to numbering some of its comics.

Either way, it's been around for a long time and that's a serious achievement for a comic launched as an act of bandwagon-jumping.

We get a mighty 52 pages, this month, as a new Jack the Ripper goes on the rampage.

The spirit of Neal Adams is strong on that cover by Brent Anderson.

Exactly what happens in the story itself, I've no idea but I wouldn't be surprised if pterosaurs are involved.

Hooray! Night Rider's back!

I say hooray but I don't have a clue who he is or what he's doing.

I do know he bears a remarkable resemblance to the character I created for that Marvel UK design-a-super-hero contest, which can only prove I wuz robbed in not winning it.

Admittedly, my character was called The Masked Manhunter and was dressed all in black but, that aside...

Forty years ago today - May 1981.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Like a siren in the night, the past beckons me onto its clashing rocks.

And, once more, I must heed that call...

Conan and his mostly-silent friend stroll into a town where time has been made to stand still.

Needless to say, a sorcerer's behind it all.

Also needless to say, a good stabbing soon sorts out that problem.

From what I can remember, some ex-lackeys of Baron Zemo decide to kidnap Bruce Banner (so they can create an android as strong as the Hulk) and, also, Captain America. I don't have a clue what they want Cap for.

Inevitably, taking the Hulk and Captain America prisoner turns out to be a terrible idea and the villains promptly get a good smacking.

The, "Hulk-powered," android also turns out to be a bit of a pushover - to such a degree that even I'd fancy my chances against it.

Nostalgia fans will be delighted that Zemo's magic glue puts in an appearance. No doubt, Paste Pot Pete can only watch in envy.

The human black hole's still blundering around New York and being unstoppable. I think Reed Richards sorts it all out by draining his powers into the Negative Zone, or something.

The Avengers show up but, in one of the most pointless guest appearances ever, I don't think they actually do anything.

At last, Bruce Banner and the Soviet Super-Soldiers discover it's Dr Phobos - and not The Presence - who's their enemy, which means everyone teams up to thwart the doctor and restore niceness to Siberia.

But, holy Darth Vaders, Batman, not before two of the Super-Soldiers discover The Presence is their long-lost father.

Whiplash is back!

And he's renamed himself, "Backlash," which is such a 1990s super-villain name.

Not only that but he has a new and better whip.

And, what's more, he's out to kill Tony Stark's head of security, for reasons that are not yet made entirely clear.

Spider-Man spends twenty pages whining about everything while also striving to prevent the predicted murder of a competitor in a New York based marathon.

It then turns out it's not a competitor who's under threat of assassination but a politician who's handing out prizes at the end of it.

Regardless, thanks to most of the runners being hopelessly accident-prone, Spidey gets to save a whole bucketful of lives, along the way.

Our hero's on a floating restaurant, trying to rescue the original Power Man from a bunch of gangsters and their samurais.

Spidey makes short work of the samurais, as he and Power Man unite to finish off the villains.

Then it all ends with a round of arrests for drug possession.

Hooray!

The Kingpin may have retired to Japan but that hasn't prevented the New York mob from putting out a contract on his life, via the medium of Bullseye.

When Kingie hires Matt and Foggy to be his lawyers, and then his wife gets kidnapped, it can only be time for a whole heap of trouble to descend upon the city.

An experimental machine manages to turn the nightmares of New Yorkers into a seemingly unstoppable monster. One that Thor stops by wrecking the machine.

When an island mysteriously appears in the middle of the Mediterranean, the Avengers decide to respond by beating up the stranger who rules that island.

Except he's a good guy.

And now he's dead because of the Avengers.

And now they have to face whatever menace it was that he was trying to warn them about.

I hope they feel suitably ashamed of themselves.

That bounder Dr Doom's kidnapped Arcade. So, the X-Men set off to rescue the not-so-fun-filled assassin from the Latverian troublemaker.

Of course, it's all a trap and, now, Doom has the mutants where he wants them.

The weirdest thing about this story is Storm has the hots for Doom.

Seriously, woman, sort yourself out. He's a hideously disfigured killer in a metal mask, whose only topic of conversation is world conquest and who crams the word, "dolt," into every sentence. There should be enough clues in there that one shouldn't entertain thoughts of romance with him.