The Marvel Lucky Bag - March 1976.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Contrary to popular rumour, caves are not available to us all.

But there are things that resemble caves.

They call them cinemas.

And what shall we find if we enter the cinemas of March 1976?

We'll find such attractions as The First Nudie Musical, Black Shampoo, Creature From Black Lake, Robin and Marian, The Man Who Fell to Earth, The Slipper and the Rose and, of course, W.C. Fields and Me. For, it was in that month they were all first released.

Of them, I've seen only The Man Who Fell to Earth - but not for about 45 years and can, therefore, offer few cogent thoughts upon it.

But you know upon what I can be cogent?

Comics!

A hero like no other makes his debut, as Omega the Unknown smashes his way into our lives.

Gasp as Omega does whatever it is that Omega does. And shriek as he doesn't do whatever it is he doesn't do.

I think I've only ever read one issue of his book and, thus, my knowledge and memories of him are fuzzy but I do believe he's from outer space and has ended up on Earth, whereupon he has immediately set about fighting crime, in a distinctly enigmatic manner.

Also, a young boy's involved but I struggle to remember just what he has to do with it all and why.

I've chosen this one because I remember its Jack Kirby pencilled cover appearing in an issue of FOOM, and liking it there.

But it's not whether you're beautiful on the outside that matters. It's whether you're beautiful on the inside. So, just how pleasing are the innards of this one?

Thinking about it, I don't know - and the internet's refusing to tell me - but I think it's a safe bet the Red Skull's involved.

And it seems the Fin, the Patriot and Miss America also put in an appearance.

Readers may be intrigued to hear that Rich Buckler and Dick Ayers provide the artwork.

It's a tale we'll never forget.

And that's good news because it means I haven't forgotten it.

The gang are eagerly pursuing their long-term strategy of aimlessly wandering around, when they encounter a man who's only going to live for 24 hours and must find a mate in that time, or watch his species go extinct.

As Carmilla Frost is the only woman around, that means she finds herself getting volunteered for the role.

Needless to say KR and his mates are not going to put up with that kind of thing.

But can they stop the 24-hour Man's mother, who happens to be a giant, mutant-dragon thing?

Skull the Slayer's still doing stuff that Ka-Zar could be doing.

This time, he's up against some sort of Egyptian type people and someone called Slitherogue who I suspect will be a victim of nominative determinism and will both slither and be a rogue.

But what's this? The Black Knight's also in action? I'm going to assume it's a reprint of a venerable and ancient tale.

The world's greatest non-team continue their idiosyncratic lives, as they battle the Headmen, in a bid to rescue Kyle Richmond's all-important brain.

Only to see it fall into the hands of Nebulon!

I've never read this one. So, all I can announce is it's by Steve Gerber and Frank Brunner and guest stars the unstoppable horror that is the Space Turnip!

And it's another one I've never read.

But I do believe that, in Bruce Jones' and Frank Thorne's mini-epic, Red Sonja must stop a mechanical man called Balek.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - February 1986.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Movies?

I know where to find them.

In the paragraph below.

One which lists the more famous ones released in February 1986.

And those movies are F/X, Hannah and Her Sisters, 9½ Weeks, The Hitcher, House and Pretty in Pink.

I think F/X, 9½ Weeks and House are the only ones of those that I've seen and I think House was the one I enjoyed the most. That is, therefore, the official Steve Does Comics Movie of the Month.

But can it be?

After 75 issues, has Rom reached the end of his space road?

He truly has because this is his very last issue and, to be fair, as his mag was launched purely to promote a toy, the lad's done well for himself.

In fact, he's done exceptionally well, as I can sensationally reveal that this is the issue in which he regains his humanity!

Mike Kaluta gives us a typically stylish cover when Starstruck hits its sixth and final instalment. Doing so with a tale called Kiss Daddy Goodnight.

And I haven't a clue what it's about.

But you know what I've been demanding?

If that cover's to be believed, I've been demanding the dramatic return of the original X-Men!

Granted, I have no recall of ever demanding such a thing, having always found them almost as uncompelling as Nick Fury's Agents of SHIELD. However, the gang discovers Jean's still alive, and this calls for a reunion that leads them to re-brand themselves as, "X-Factor!"

That's a very striking cover from Al Milgrom but didn't an issue of Moon Knight once have a cover very like it?

I don't know much of what goes on in this one but I do know the gang's fangy foe is none other than Jack Russell himself who it's hard to see giving an offshoot of the mighty Avengers much trouble.

Rather more menacingly, however, it would seem that Ultron's also involved...

Here's a thing you don't see every day; Benjamin J Grimm in wrestling action with Vance Astro.

Mostly, you don't see it because one of them lives on Earth and the other lives in space, and one lives in the present and the other in the future.

I suspect such minor obstacles will not be enough to get in the way of a tale called Home.

Secret Wars II rumbles on, as, frustrated by his experiences on our world, the Beyonder consults the Molecule Man.

Somehow, this leads to the all-powerful alien losing his temper and deciding to destroy the multiverse!

But can the Molecule's Man's unique skill-set thwart that drastic plan?

No sooner does Rom leave our lives than a new mag based on toys hits our spinner racks.

I know little of this but can reveal it's written and drawn by Herb Trimpe and, after crash-landing on the planet Skalorr, the crew of a spaceship team up with a band of nice robots to fight a band of nasty robots.

Sadly, despite providing us with all the robot-on-robot violence we could ask for, this appears to be the only issue ever published.

Longshot's mini-series draws to a double-length conclusion when its protagonist, Dr Strange and Quark discover that someone called Rita's been turned into a mere husk, by Mojo who then sets up a church on Earth and begins to brainwash its followers.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - January 1986.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

I'm struggling to find films that are worthy of me handing over my ticket money in January 1986. Of the movies released that month, it seems the most promising I can find are The Clan of the Cave Bear, Heathcliff: The Movie, Iron Eagle, Down and Out in Beverly Hills and Youngblood.

Perhaps I'll go and see Heathcliff. After all, who can turn their nose up at a new adaptation of Wuthering Heights?

 

Then again, I may just stay at home and read some of those comics that are known to expand a young man's mind and broaden his horizons so much that he can no longer even get his head out the door.

It's an exciting time for us all, as Marvel's signature character gets his own graphic novel and finds himself in a Susan Putney / Bernie Wrightson thriller in which the man with the sticky fingers encounters both Marandi Sjorokker and Thunder Cockroach.

No. I don't have a clue who they are.

Apparently, Thunder Cockroach dies.

Will we ever see his ilk again?

An understated cover lets us know Marvel's most psycho crime-fighter has his very own book!

From what I can make out, fearless Frank is in prison and takes part in a break-out...

...but then prevents his fellow convicts from escaping!

The warden, meanwhile, promises to free him if he agrees to fight for someone called The Trust.

Web of Spider-Man lands its second-ever annual and does so with a tale in which Warlock of the not-Adam variety goes to New York and impersonates a number of television personalities, thus causing all sorts of, no doubt, hilarious chaos.

That's followed by an eight-page yarn called You're Lying, Peter Parker!

Of that adventure, I know nothing, other than that it seems to contain a dream sequence.

Daredevil too bags himself a graphic novel. One in which the Kingpin abducts a psychologist's wife but is soon thwarted by the man without fear.

And it's all brought to us by fun-filled Frank Miller and bouncing Bill Sienkiewicz.

Then again, it turns out it's not that hard to get your own Marvel graphic novel, because, now, Greenberg the vampire's managed it and I don't even know who he is.

Whatever his identity - and whatever the story involves - it's a whopping 70 pages long and is the creation of J. M. DeMatteis and Mark Badger. 

There's no way the world's greatest vampire's going to be left behind by Greenberg. And, so, he too lands himself a graphic novel!

And I know even less about this one than I do about Greenberg's.

All I do know is it's by Jon J Muth.

Knock me down with a feather. Even the Alien Legion is in on the full-length act!

In this 67-page tome, Alan Zelenetz, Carl Potts and Frank Cirocco give us A Grey Day to Die which features such never-to-be-forgotten characters as Sarigar, Torie Montroc, Jugger and Grimrod!

After all that drama, I need to relax.

And what could be more relaxing than a colouring book?

Nothing could.

Even if it's based on a terrible film.

And, thankfully, we have one to hand, as, not only does Marvel give us its 47-panel adaptation of George Lucas' legendary Howard the Duck movie, it also does it in magical monochrome, so we can entertain ourselves by transforming it into glorious Technicolor.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - December 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Good grief! There were more memorable movies released in December 1985 than you can shake a clapperboard at!

Was this an attempt to cash in on the lucrative pre-Christmas market? Or was it just a sign of the film industry's unbridled creativity?

Either way, the month saw the unleashing of Young Sherlock Holmes, Spies Like Us, The Jewel of the Nile, Clue, Legend, Brazil, The Color Purple, Out of Africa, A Chorus Line, Enemy Mine, Ran and Revolution.

I've seen surprisingly few of those films and suspect that the ones I have seen - The Jewel of the Nile and Legend - are not the best of the bunch.

Therefore, as so often in the past, I shall leave it the reader of discernment to decide just which is Film of the Month.

It's the news we've all been waiting for, as The Bozz Chronicles hits a spinner rack near us and intends to fully embed itself there until we determine to buy it!

To be honest, I don't have a clue what it is or what it involves but I do know it's the handiwork of David Michelinie and Bret Blevins and will run for six issues of, what its covers imply to be, retro but high adventure.

And that's not the only new publication tempting us to part with our hard-earned dollars, pounds, francs, guilders and whatever other currency we may possess, because Six From Sirius 2 also makes its debut.

This magazine is likewise mysterious to me but I do know it comes from the minds of Doug Moench and Paul Gulacy and is destined to run for four instalments.

This issue also includes a six-page yarn titled Parody which is the sole work of John Zack.

We all love the X-Men. We all love Alpha Flight. Clearly, if they meet, we're going to love it twice as much!

And so it is that we spy in on an adventure in which they find themselves in a mysterious big palace thing and come up against the schemes of Loki himself.

All I recall of this one is that, at some point, Rogue tries to absorb the powers of Loki but can't, what with him being a god.

Also, I think Loki gives the members of the cast what they most want in life but they end up rejecting his gifts. A fact that he gets very miffed about.

Marvel makes its stab at relieving famine in Africa, with Heroes For Hope.

It seems to be made up of a whole heap of stories of not more than three pages each, utilising such talents as Harlan Ellison, George R R Martin and Stephen King, as well as a whole slew of our favourite comics creators. I do notice that Jim Starlin seems to have an input into much of the material. 

The Hulk gets his fourteenth annual and does so with the 40-pager The Weakness of the Flesh!

Again, I know little of this but can sensationally reveal it's brought to us by writer and artist team John Byrne and Sal Buscema.

And, barely to be outdone by the Hulk, Thor lands his thirteenth annual.

But will it be unlucky for some?

Especially the thunder god when Mephisto kidnaps Ulik's brother and uses that to force the troll into fighting Thor?

Although, knowing Ulik, it's a bit of a surprise that he has to be forced into it.

What's this? Has Marvel taken the radical and bold step of reprinting issues of the legendary British girls horror comic Misty?

No, it hasn't. 

Does that mean Iron Fist's Misty Knight has finally been granted the comic of her own that she's always warranted?

No, it doesn't.

Instead, we're treated to a string of short dramas starring the woman of that name, and produced by Trina Robbins.

I get the feeling the tone of this comic may be quite light.

I also get the feeling it will run for six issues.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - November 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Just how moving were the moving pictures that came out in November 1985?

Here's where we find out.

Were we to venture into our local bug hut, in that very month, we would be confronted with such new releases as Death Wish 3, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, To Live and Die in L.A., Target, King Solomon's Mines, White Nights, Ewoks: The Battle for Endor, Rocky IV and Santa Claus: The Movie.

Tragically, the only one of those I've ever seen is King Solomon's Mines which is rubbish and, therefore, I can't with clear conscience declare it to be my Movie of the Month. I shall, therefore, leave it to those better informed than I to decide just which of those films is the cream of that crop.

Marvel's determined to inflict yet more new comics upon me. And so it is that we encounter the first-ever issue of Nightcrawler.

It would appear the shadow-loving rogue's practising in the Danger Room when he, somehow, gets yanked into another dimension where he begins a swashbuckling adventure!

All I know beyond any reasonable doubt is that this story is both written and drawn by Dave Cockrum. 

What's this? Rom's comic is not only still going but is suddenly guest-starring Rick Jones who appears to have Hulked himself up to some degree?

It all happens when the Beyonder arrives at a cabin occupied by Rick, Brandy and Cindy, gives them super-powers and sends two of them into Limbo to retrieve Cindy's parents!

But, hold on, where does Rom fit into all of this?

Mike Kaluta's cover heralds the arrival of an issue in which something or other happens.

All I know about that something or other is it's a yarn called Big Mombo and is the product of Mike's pencils and Elaine Lee's words.

Marvel's latest multi-part epic crossover hits its fifth issue when the Beyonder dismantles a train upon which is riding a young mutant on her way to Professor X's school.

The Beyonder agrees to take her the rest of the way but, once they arrive there, the X-Men attack him and, somehow, this all leads to him beating up the Celestials!

At last, it's the storyline we've all been praying for, as Mary Jane Watson becomes Spider-Man!

Or does she? 

Alistaire Smythe seems to think so.

Seeking revenge for the death of his father, he's out to get rid of the web-spinner.

However, he, bizarrely, comes to the conclusion that Mary Jane is that very web-spinner.

Even though she's clearly not a man.

It's exactly what we've all been praying for, as Marvel gives us its stunning adaptation of the Red Sonja movie that did its best to keep us awake.

I would say we're all familiar with the plot but I've seen the film at least three times and still couldn't tell you what the plot is.

Apparently, this version is written and drawn by Mary Wilshire. 

After years of being Thor's sidekick, Balder finally lands a comic of his own and would seem to be doing so by crossing over with the thunder god's book, as he too journeys to Hel, in a bid to liberate those who don't deserve to be there.

The Fantastic Four's 19th annual sees the gang team up with the Avengers, for reasons I'm not familiar with.

However, it does seem the Infant Terrible puts in an appearance!

The Marvel Lucky Bag - October 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Wait!

What's that?

It's a cinema!

And, if I enter it, what shall I find within?

Assuming it's a sizeable one - and it's in the habit of only showing films released in October 1985 - I shall find such delights as Commando, Dreamchild, Jagged Edge, A Zed & Two Noughts, Re-Animator and I Dream of Jeannie... Fifteen Years Later.

Of those, I shall, of course, name Re-Animator as my Film of the Month, as it's the only one I've ever seen, although I have heard A Zed & Two Noughts being spoken of in hushed whispers. Mostly on Channel Four which I seem to remember being quite keen on showing it, during the station's more pretentious era.

For a long time, some of us have wondered how come all of America's super-powered people seem to live in New York City.

Now, at last, that's about to change, as the West Coast Avengers gain their very own monthly and prepare to fight whatever villains turn up in that part of the world.

And it seems some seriously serious villains do turn up, because this 39-page monster sees our heroes' HQ being attacked by both Ultron and the Lethal Legion!

Far away from that, everyone's favourite married couple also receive a new mag of their own. One destined to run for twelve issues and, in which, the pair appear to be having trouble with Nekra, Black Talon and the Grim Reaper!

Secret Wars II is almost halfway through its run and it's time for the Beyonder to explore the human concept of desire. For this purpose, he selects the Dazzler who, I assume, he must have decided is the most desirable woman on Earth.

However, all his attempts to win her over fail and he quickly gives up on that idea.

Fans of barbarian and jungle action will be pleased to learn that Savage Tales is back from the grave!

Or perhaps they won't, as there's no sign of the book's previous stalwarts Conan and Ka-Zar.

Instead we get tales which bear such titles as The Nam 1967, Marla, Avenger, A Pizza and Across the Rio Grande from such talents as Michael Golden, Herb Trimpe, John Severin, Will Jungkuntz and Gray Morrow.

Despite some venerable names being on that list, it would appear that none of these tales are reprints.

Yes, I have included this one purely for a very odd Michael Golden cover that looks almost like a parody.

Inside, the mag's mostly dominated by a 50-page adventure in which an ageing Queen sends Conan in search of magical springs that can restore her lost youth.

It also delivers a 10-pager in which the barbarian refuses to abandon an arm-wrestling match, even though soldiers are out to get him.

Their original book didn't last for an eternity but, now, those determined dwellers of isolated peaks and out-of-the-way places are back for a limited series, starting with a thriller called A Mirror for Mortality!

After that, we encounter a four-page yarn which I do believe relates the origins of the Eternals, Humans and Deviants, for any who may have missed the explanation the last time round.

The East Coast Avengers receive their fourteenth annual and do so with a 40-page epic that I'm assuming ties in with their monthly book, as that is also currently featuring plenty of outer space Skrull action.

Chris Warner produces a cover I think we'll never forget - no matter how hard we try - while, inside the book, our favourite legion from the cosmos enters a story called Desperate Measures. Of which, I know nothing.

That's followed by a short adventure called Disaster Signal. Of which, I also know nothing.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - September 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Cinema. What a thing it is.

Granted, it wasn't too much of a thing in September 1985. After all, there weren't too many high-profile movies released that month but it did, at least, see the unveiling of such experiences as After Hours, Death of a Salesman, Plenty, Agnes of God and Invasion U.S.A.

Of those, After Hours is the only one I've ever seen, and that was so long ago that I have almost no recollection of it and tend to get it mixed up, in my mind, with Desperately Seeking Susan.

Meanwhile...

...Marvel Fanfare's back to thrill, delight and enchant us.

And, this month, its thrilling, delighting and enchanting us with a tale of something or other.

Whatever that something or other is, it clearly involves Dr Octopus, the Grey Gargoyle, Electro and the Sandman.

And, judging by that cover, I'm going to guess they're out to gang up on poor old Iron Man.

I'm also going to guess it's the Rhodey version of Iron Man they're ganging up on and not the Tony Stark one.

But what's this? We also receive seven pages of pin-ups of our favourite Marvel heroes?

How many times has the Squadron Supreme guest-starred in the comics of others?

But, now, at last, it has its very own vehicle. One in which the team decides it needs to seize control of the Government if it's to resolve all of humanity's problems. Which does, I must confess, seem like a Squadron Supreme kind of thing to do.

However, there's always one dissenter in any group and so strongly does Nighthawk disagree with the idea, that he goes right ahead and quits.

After just six, monthly, issues, Web of Spider-Man receives its first annual and plants our hero in a 37-page epic labelled Give Me a Hand, Future Max!

What all that involves, I've no idea but, apparently, this tale introduces us all to someone called Future Max. A feat for which I'm sure we're all grateful.

And, now, refusing to let Conan and Kull steal the limelight any longer, Solomon Kane gets his very own comic!

And it's another one about which I'm woefully ignorant. But I do know the story's called Red Shadows and is adapted from the story of the same name by Robert E Howard.

Secret Wars II hits its third issue - and does so with a dramatic cover which heralds a drama in which the Beyonder follows in the footsteps of the Fantastic Four's Infant Terrible and falls under the influence of a mob boss.

However, he goes far further with it than that juvenile alien did - by taking over the Kingpin's operations, the United States and then the whole world!

Anyway, he quickly gets bored with that and decides to have a chat with Daredevil instead.

Bret Blevins produces a cover you have to love, for an issue that presents us with such things as a French explorer getting lost in Africa, peasant resistance to Genghis Khan, a gypsy encountering Napoleonic forces, and barnstorming in the early days of aviation. On top of that, there's a multitude of pin-ups.

I've no knowledge of the contents of this one, other than to be able to reveal it's the brainchild of Alan Zelenetz and Chris Warner and is called A Madness of Dreams!

A brand-new hero enters our lives, as the perma-lucky Longshot leaps through a portal and arrives on Earth, with no memory of who he is or whence he originated.

Fortunately, he's befriended by the dog-like creature called Magog and a human survivalist called Eliot. 

If that cover's to be believed; this issue, the Defenders gain the assistance of Sgt Fury and his Howlin' Commandos.

However, I'm not sure that cover is to be believed and that it's not, instead, an illusion they find themselves encountering.