The most forgettable comics I've ever owned - Part 24: Monster Fantasy magazine #3.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Barbarella! 

Barbarella!

Barbarella!

Who doesn't love Barbarella?

Probably anyone with any taste in movies.

And, yet, it's strangely hard to dislike, being one of those films - like 1980's Flash Gordon - that's probably more fun to remember than it is to actually watch.

"What are you blathering about, you moron?" I hear you cry. "What does this have to do with anything?"

Seemingly nothing.

But, also, everything.

For I can reveal I've been withholding vital information from you.

Recently, I wrote of how, while researching Marvel UK's brand new (in 1982) Monster Monthly, I stumbled across covers for Quasimodo's Monster Magazine and suddenly realised I'd owned a couple of issues of it, back in the 1970s.

Now, I must make a dramatic revelation.

Because, during that research, I didn't unearth just one publication I'd forgotten about. I unearthed two.

The other was a thing called Monster Fantasy. And, at once, I recognised the cover to issue #3, realising it too had once been in my possession.

But how could I have forgotten its existence? After all, it was that very mag which first introduced me to the aforementioned Barbarella. And not only that but, also, the rampant paranoia-fest that is Invaders From Mars.

It also introduced me to the monsters of the Outer Limits and the life stories of Laird Cregan, Lionel Atwill and Alfred Hitchcock.

It seems it gave me info I'd not previously possessed about Forbidden Planet, War of the Worlds, Phantom of the Opera, This Island Earth, Quatermass and the Pit and the 1930s Flash Gordon serials.

How could so much awesomeness be crammed into just one magazine?

I've no idea.

How could I have forgotten about its existence?

Easily. As with Quasimodo's mag, I'd always assumed that all the articles I'd remembered from it had been in Atlas/Seaboard's Movie Monsters mag.

What I do have an idea about is the nature of the book. It seems it was a sister mag to Quasimodo's, having also been produced by Mayfair Publications. In fact, so sisterly were the titles that they came out in alternate months, so as not to clash with each other.

Tragically, where the other mag lasted a full eight issues before falling from its bell tower and expiring, Monster Fantasy only endured for four, running from April to August 1975.

Still, despite its short life, it shall never be forgotten.

Except by me.

Except I've now remembered.

But for how long?

The most forgettable comics I've ever owned - Part 23: Quasimodo's Monster Magazine.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

He always claimed it was the bells that drove him mad but I reckon it was editing a magazine.

It's true. In the mid-1970s, the world's most famous resident of Notre Dame had a dramatic career shift and, with the backing of Mayfair Publications, launched his very own journal dedicated to monsters.

Of course, I only know this for one reason.

Dumb luck.

That's because, while researching my Marvel UK post for the first week of April, I accidentally came across the front cover I've reproduced to the top left of this post.

And I recognised it at once.

For, dear reader, I once owned that magazine.

The strange thing, though, is that, up until that moment, I'd totally forgotten I did.

I had, however, remembered reading its articles, which covered such subjects as Space: 1999, the films of Roger Corman and the story of Lon Chaney Junior.

However, I'd been completely wrong about where I'd read them. You see, I'd always recalled having encountered them in the pages of Atlas Seaboard's Movie Monsters mag which lasted just four issues before disappearing.

As it turned out, Quasimodo did a better job of things than whoever'd managed that publication, as his series proved slightly more successful, lasting for at least eight issues before biting the bullet in a run stretching from January 1975 to May 1976

But that wasn't all. Conducting further research led me to discover I also had issue #6, which lent us information about the history of Hammer Studios, Star Trek, cinema's Carradine family and the life and career of Boris Karloff.

How could I have forgotten the existence of these books?

I've no idea.

Especially as, if we played our cards right, we could have won the cover paintings. Although, to be honest, I'm not sure I'd want the one for issue #6 which isn't great.

I must confess it's a bit of a cheat to post this in a slot dedicated to the most forgettable comics I've ever owned, as Quasimodo's Monster Magazine wasn't a comic, although later issues did feature a seeming plethora of comic strips.

But I have nowhere else to put it. So, here it shall reside, remembered, at last, as it deserves to be.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned - Part 22: Metamorpho in 1st Issue Special #3.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

***

It is a fact undeniable to the rational mind that the art of Comic Reading is a branch of Quantum Physics.

This is why it's possible to both remember you once owned a comic and to simultaneously not remember you once owned that comic.

The third edition of DC's 1st Issue Special is a perfect example of that. For decades, I was aware I'd first encountered the word, "Daguerreotype," in the pages of a comic which starred Metamorpho the element man.

And, yet, it somehow never struck me that that meant I must have once owned a comic which starred Metamorpho the element man.

It's a paradox to make Schrödinger himself quail.

Regardless, mere weeks ago, in my internettings, I stumbled across this very comic book cover and realised, more-or-less at once, that I'd seen it before.

That was because I'd once owned it but had, by some means, completely expunged it from my memory until then.

From what I recall, our hero has a challenge on his hands as he tries to hunt down a French phantom that's showing up in various parts of Washington, doing criminal damage and trying to get the government to buy its inventions.

It all has something to do with the American War of Independence and the US government's foolish refusal to buy the phantom's innovative contraptions, back when it was still a living man.

And, now, that phantom seeks revenge.

Beyond that, I could say nothing of the book's contents, other than an ancient daguerreotype photo of the Capitol Building proves to be the clue that allows Metamorpho to wrap up the case and get back to his primary job of canoodling with his girlfriend.

However, it would appear to feature the artwork of Ramona Fradon, an artist whose work I was previously convinced I'd never encountered during my youth.

But what other comics lie out there, in the wilds of reality, that I still have no recollection of ever having owned?

And will I ever stumble across them?

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned - Part 21: Werewolf by Night #41.

Hooray! It's the return of the feature that's become a legend on the internet. Mostly because it seems to consist entirely of issues of Werewolf by Night.

I mean, seriously, how many issues of this comic did I have?

More to the point, how many issues did I have that I have no recollection of?

Well, I can tell you. I had eight  issues and I've managed to forget the contents of all of them.

But there are special issues of Werewolf by Night. Ones where not only can I not remember their contents but, up until blundering across their covers on the internet, I had no memory of ever having possessed.

The comic in this post is one of them.

And, Reader, I'm convinced that this is the most forgettable of them all.

Who on Earth was the villain? And was he really lumbered with the name, "Fire Eyes?"

Massive amounts of Googling tell me that he was indeed lumbered with the name Fire Eyes and he did indeed appear in this issue.

Unfortunately, massive amounts of Googling also tell me nothing else about him whatsoever. Was he human? Was he alien? Was he mutant? Was he robot? Was he demon? Was he god? I have no idea.

I was going to ask, given his notoriously poor fighting skills, how did the Werewolf beat him but I'm going to guess that he didn't because I can't remember the Werewolf ever beating anyone in a fight.

Therefore, I shall assume someone else beat him, possibly a group of good guys doing something with incantations and magic goblets. Possibly there was an altar. Possibly there was an ancient tome. Possibly there was smoke. This is a pure guess but I would not be surprised if this was the case and that, subjected to such activities, Fire Eyes simply melted like a candle or some such misfortune, never to bother any werewolves ever again.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned - Part 20: The Human Fly #7.

One of the seminal activities of my youth was watching The World of Sport every Saturday, which, when it wasn't giving us clinically obese men, in overly tight trunks, falling over on top of  each other in Preston Guild Hall, in the name of wrestling, would often give us sporting events from around the globe.

Thus would we get such sights as hawk-flying from the Middle East, elephant polo from India, alpaca shearing from South America and a whole plethora of other events unlikely to ever be staged in our own back yards.

From America, we'd get the esteemed sports of  tree felling, fence painting  and suicidal recklessness. The suicidal recklessness usually involved men in outlandish clothing leaping over things.

Obviously, the most famous of these daredevils was Evel Knievel who mostly made it onto British television by nearly killing himself on what seemed like a regular basis.

But there was another man who strived to make a crust from dangerous stunts - and that man was the Human Fly.

To say the Human Fly was a man of mystery would be an understatement. I can only recall him ever appearing once on British TV and that was when he was standing on top of an airborne Jumbo Jet in order to prove a point whose purpose not altogether unevaded me.

Who was the Human Fly?

What was his true identity?

If World of Sport presenter Dickie Davies was to be believed, that was the greatest secret on the planet. One that could only be revealed if he was ever defeated in combat. Obviously, by that, I mean if the Human Fly was defeated in combat, not if Dickie Davies was defeated in combat. I happen to have faith that no man could defeat Dickie Davies in combat.

But. Oh. No. Hold on. I'm thinking of the wrong man. The being-defeated-in-combat thing was about Kendo Nagasaki, the enigmatic, master-of-the-martial-arts, wrestler from the Far East who, upon being unmasked, turned out to be a man called Peter from Stoke-on-Trent.

Nonetheless, the Human Fly's secret identity was seemingly just as guarded.

Given that we were allowed to know nothing about him, and that he seemed to have no powers other than standing on top of things, he seemed a strange candidate to get his own comic but, with the abandon that distinguished Marvel in the 1970s, he did indeed get his own mag. And, Reader, I had one issue of that book.

I think it was the one pictured at the start of this post but I'm not sure. So memorable was his mag that I can't even be sure which issue it was that I had. However, that bear looks familiar, so I'm guessing it's this one.

Sadly, I can find no panels from any issue of his comic online, apart from one of him lounging around playing a guitar - in full costume - so I can reveal nothing about his adventures or how Marvel managed to make a hero of him.

Sadly, and possibly predictably, the anthropomorphic insectoid's comic only lasted nineteen issues before being swatted flat by poor sales, which suggests the public at large failed to take to the strip. But, at least before he went, he had the honour of teaming up with Ghost Rider in one adventure.

Bafflingly, he doesn't seem to have ever teamed up with Spider-Man, despite the obviousness of such a move. Perhaps the fact that the webbed wall-crawler already had an enemy of that name who was famous for appearing in Hostess ads was deemed to be too potentially confusing for readers?

It does strike me that, in being cynical about his book, I'm being somewhat unfair to the man. For all I know, he may well be the greatest stunt man who ever lived and also a thoroughly marvellous human being. I just wish I could recall his comic well enough to pass judgement.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned - Part 19: Werewolf by Night #28.

As all regular readers know, the only reason for this blog to exist is so I can declare that I don't remember things.

And that can only mean that it's time to once more plunge into the Vale of Forgetfulness and revive the feature that tries to elevate ignorance into an art form.

It does strike me that, when I was young, I must have really really really loved Werewolf by Night, as I seem to have had zillions and zillions of issues of the thing.

This is odd, as my recollection of that time is that I didn't particularly like it. The werewolf seemed to be neither use nor ornament and seemed to have pitiful fighting skills for a lycanthrope.

Then again, I didn't particularly like Superman and I had great piles of comics featuring him as well. Undoubtedly the past is a strange and mysterious place.

Did I like the issue to the left of this very post?

I don't have a clue, as I don't recall anything about it. In fact, as with all the comics I've covered in this feature over the years, if I hadn't once accidentally blundered across the cover on the internet, I'd have been blissfully unaware that the issue had ever existed, let alone passed through my hands.

Who was Doctor Glitternight and what was he about? Beats me. I do know he sounds like someone who couldn't make up his mind if he wanted to be in a Pub Rock band or a Glam Rock outfit and, so, ended up sounding like someone unnecessarily fond of Prog. For that matter, was Doctor Glitternight his real name and, if so, just where did he get his doctorate?

According to the internet, he was some sort of ancient being from another dimension, who practised necromancy and turned Jack Russell's sister into a blue werewolf demon thing. I do vaguely recall the blue werewolf demon thing - and far preferred her to the werewolf who was supposed to be the star of the comic - but all memory of her mystical creator still eludes me.

Anyway, what really matters about him is that he enabled Gil Kane to produce a truly striking cover. Only a lunatic would be fail to be impressed by the work Kane put into drawing all those bat things and by the elegance of the picture's composition. It's also nice to see the blonde from the covers of all those Conan mags putting in a guest appearance. She really was the hardest working woman in comics.

As part of my in-depth research for this post, I've done a Google search for images from this issue - in the hope that they'd jog my memory - and haven't found a single panel from it, which suggests that I'm not the only one who's forgotten its existence.

I can only assume it must be down to whatever magical powers it is that Doctor Glitternight possesses that so little trace can be found off him in the murky realm that mortal men call the World Wide Web. Truly his abilities are awesome.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned - Part 18: Nightmare #1.

Hold on to your hats, Horror fans, because it's time for another round of the least appropriately named feature on the internet. You know. That one where I go on and on about a comic I'd once owned but had then completely forgotten about the existence of.

Of course, inevitably, as nearly always with this feature, that's not what this post is about at all.

It's about a comic whose presence in my life I've never struggled to recall. Nor whose contents I've ever truly forgotten.

Despite remembering those things, I did, however, for many years have no memory at all of what it was actually called.

What a mystery it was. The kind that could drive a man to madness. But, somehow, by some means beyond my recollection, a few years back, I stumbled across the above cover on the internet and realised at once that it belonged to the comic in question.

How well I remember its tales.

There was one about a pair of honeymooners who both turn out to have three eyes, thanks to one of them being a mutant and the other being an alien. It's a situation that I think we've all experienced at some point in our lives.

There was also a tale of an expedition to Africa that causes its leader, a conceited young woman with little grasp of how to endear herself to people, to be turned into a bee person.

There was also some sort of tale about a ghoul in a crypt.

I think there was a story set on a boat.

There may have been a tale of vampirism.

There may have been a yarn featuring legendary swamp monster The Heap but I'm not sure about that.

As far as I'm aware, Nightmare was a 1970 US publication by Skywald, which folded after twenty three issues and the, "Sky," in Skywald was Marvel Comics legend Sol Brodsky. However, the copy I had was a UK version from five years later, published by Thorpe & Porter, which differed noticeably from the original publication. For instance, even though this is issue #1, most of its material, including the cover, comes from issue #17 of the American mag. Why they decided to do it in such a random way, I have no idea but it clearly didn't work, as the mag folded after just two issues.

Despite being a Horror lover, I do remember that I didn't really like it, as it was filled with blood, guts, gore and other assorted tastelessness that offended whatever little basic human decency I have left. Even I find it hard to be entertained by the sight of a man eating human internal organs while they're still physically attached to their host body.

However, despite that, it's still a matter of relief to me that I did eventually find out what it was called and have thus spent the last few years free from the frustration of not knowing.

Once, there was a time in my life when I couldn't have discovered that. When I would have been deprived of all hope of ever again seeing a painting of a naked woman on an altar, with a chained unicorn gorilla at her side and a pile of human bones at her feet. Tim Berners-Lee, what a gift you gave to humanity. No wonder you got a knighthood.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned - Part 17: House of Hammer #7.

My childhood Fridays were dominated by two things; Googie Withers and Appointment With Fear.

Googie Withers, because she starred in Within These Walls, a TV show I have no memory of, other than that it starred Googie Withers.

Appointment With Fear dominated my Fridays because that TV feature dragged late Friday evenings down into a pit of terror from which no human mind could ever hope to escape.

Admittedly, even though I was of tender years and an habitual coward, Appointment With Fear never actually managed to scare me in the slightest. In truth, its introductory sequence of monsters' faces morphing into each other, one after the other, seemed more menacing than the movies ever did but it did introduce me to what seemed like an endless parade of Hammer horror films that all seemed to have exactly the same cast.

But ITV wasn't my only source of mallet based mayhem in the 1970s.

There was another.

And that was The House of Hammer, a magazine launched by future Marvel UK editor Dez Skinn, featuring comic strip adaptations of classic Hammer movies, and prose and photo features on the work of the company.

Admittedly, it wasn't much of a source for me, because I only ever had one issue and that was the one above, which published an adaptation of that cheeky tale of Karnstein based vampirism The Twins of Evil. Who could forget Peter Cushing's turn as a puritanical nutjob trying to rid his village of wanton and lascivious women, only to find that one of his own nieces is no better than she should be and likes to drink people's blood while she's at it? Why, I doubt that anyone with his wits about him could forget that film.

However, up until recently, I'd totally forgotten I once owned the magazine that adapted it. Happily, the internet is a wonderful place and the moment I accidentally stumbled across the cover on it, I realised at once that it had formerly been in my possession.

As always with this feature, despite the title of this post, The House of Hammer #7 wasn't at all forgettable. Now that my memory's been prodded by the cover image, I recall its take on the Twins of Evil quite clearly. I also recall that the issue contained an article about a movie I've only ever seen once, one which featured human sacrifice and possibly Donald Pleasance. What was the title of that movie? I have no idea. I know it wasn't Curse of the Crimson Altar but could say nothing beyond that.

The issue may also have featured a last-page photo of Yutte Stensgaard with fangs, and blood all over her. This image was clearly taken from Lust For A Vampire. However, I couldn't swear on my life that that image was indeed present, as it might actually have been in the one issue of Skywald's Nightmare that I ever owned.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned - Part 16: The Champions #12.

It's the night before the night before Christmas.

And that means just one thing.

That, just as Santa Claus will soon do, I've been travelling the world.

Unlike Santa Claus, I've done it without the aid of  a chimney.

I've done it via a mega-chimney. The mega-chimney of knowledge that is the internet. And so, yet again, my blundering around has brought me across a comic that I once owned but had totally forgotten I ever had.

In this case, it's The Champions #12.

As I may have said before, somewhere or other on this blog, I would claim that the Champions always seemed a strange concept for a super-team, except that I don't have a clue what the concept actually was

 It comes across like Marvel just decided to use up whatever heroes they had who couldn't support their own title and didn't have a berth in any established team.

And so it was that we got the unlikely alliance of Hercules, the Black Widow, the Angel, Iceman and, least likely of all, Ghost Rider. I may be mistaken but I do believe that, just to make the mix even more random, we later got the addition of Black Goliath.

Other than what's shown on the cover, I don't have a clue what happens in this comic but it seems unlikely to me that the Champions could possibly be powerful enough or organised enough to defeat a being as mighty as the Stranger. I therefore have no choice but to conclude that they must all get killed in this issue and subsequently continue their careers as a team of ghosts.

Admittedly that would mean Ghost Rider would have to be renamed Ghost-Ghost Rider which would instill into his name a certain degree of redundancy.

On the other hand, it would mean we also got the adventures of Ghost Hercules.

I mean. Come on. Ghost Hercules. Who wouldn't want to read the adventures of Ghost Hercules?

Granted, Hercules might not. But I would and when it comes to comics, once I've handed over my thirty cents, I'm all that matters.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned - Part 15: Marvel Premiere #26.

We all know that the most traumatic event in the entire history of western civilisation was that moment in Jason and the Argonauts when Hercules just decided to go wandering off and depart the movie, never to be seen again.

What on Earth were they thinking of?

He's Hercules!

You can't introduce him into your movie and then have him disappear halfway through it! He's the star of the show, for Pluto's sake!

Admittedly, the film's called Jason and the Argonauts, not Hercules and the Argonauts but that doesn't matter. Even when he's being the least physically impressive Hercules you've ever seen, he's still the star of the show and, quite frankly, of anything else he ever appears in.

Admittedly, that may not be true of comics.

In all honesty, I was never much into Marvel Comics' version of Herc. He just seemed like a less interesting version of Thor, with less powers, less brain cells and a mace that was a pale imitation of the thunder god's invincible weapon.

Still, despite his limitations, he did at least manage to get around a bit. As well as showing up in Thor's comic, he managed to become a member of both the Avengers and the Champions, as well as having a fight with the Hulk in one of his earliest appearances.

Not only that but it seems he also managed to get his own solo adventure in Marvel Premiere.

Not only that but I actually had a copy of that self-same adventure. I think I may have got it in one of those polythene bagged triple packs that Marvel seemed keen on at one point.

Not that it made any huge impact on me. I must confess that, until I stumbled across the cover online, I'd totally forgotten I'd ever had it.

Now reminded of its existence, all I can recall of it is that Typhon was in it and that, for some reason, his axe was stuck to his hand. By the end of the tale, he'd somehow got his hand free of his axe. Whether that put him in a better mood and led to him renouncing evil, I don't know.

Sadly, by the next issue, Hercules was gone from the mag, replaced by Satana, suggesting that perhaps the Marvel big-wigs didn't have a huge amount of faith in his ability to sell a comic.

Still, if the comic failed to stick in my head, it did at least give us a Jack Kirby cover that helped remind us of his days on Thor and I suppose we can at least appreciate that much.

In the meantime, just what did happen to Hercules after he parted company with Jason and the Argonauts? Is he still on that island, still searching for his missing friend who was blatantly crushed under that big statue? Someone should have said to him, "Look. He's dead. He's been crushed by that big statue. He's gone splat. Now forget about him and help us in the far more important matter of stealing a dead sheep."

For that matter, what happened to Jason and the Argonauts? At the end of the film, they just fell into the sea and the final credits rolled. We never got to find out if they got home or if they drowned or if they were just picked up by the harbour police and charged with stealing someone else's rightful property.

Epic quests, they can be a frustrating thing for the casual observer.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned. Part 14: Forbidden Tales of Dark Mansion #13.

I owe a debt of gratitude to The Groovy Agent at Diversions of Groovy Kind because, the other day, he produced a post about the comic whose cover resides to the left of these very words.

And I have to admit that, until he did so, I had no memory at all of ever having owned it - or of it even having existed.

Even now, my memories of it are vague. I know the main story is about a man who learns never to mess with a woman who likes to mutilate wax figurines but I don't have a clue what the, "Second mind-chiller," is that's contained within.

According to the Grand Comics Database, the other tale is called The Eavesdropper, a title that rings no bells with me at all.

Exactly why I forgot about having owned the comic, I don't know. It does, after all, feature a striking Mike Kaluta cover - and the main story's resolution bears strong similarities to that of Phantom Stranger #32, which is one of the most strongly remembered tales from my childhood.

Forbidden Tales of Dark Mansion seems to have been a strange comic, as it started out as The Dark Mansion of Forbidden Love, which all sounds very exciting and luridly delirious. But it seems that Luridly Delirious was not what the comic-buying public of 1972 wanted, as it changed title and concept after just four issues.

Sadly, after issue #15, the re-branded title also disappeared from the shelves. Perhaps DC were just producing too many horror comics by that point and Forbidden Mansion was one title too many?

Or perhaps there was some other reason?

But, sadly, like the onlookers on the above cover, I fear I may forever be in ignorance of the reasons for the dread demise I have blundered across.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned. Part 13: Omega the Unknown #3 & #6.

Has there ever been a better named super-hero than Omega the Unknown?

Clearly not. Because he's certainly unknown to me.

This is odd - because a perusal of the Grand Comics Database tells me I may once have owned, not just one, but two issues of his mag.

Despite this, I have no recall at all of anything that happened in either of them.

While perhaps it's no surprise that the villain known as, "The Wrench," has somehow slipped from my consciousness with the passage of time, it seems that even issue #3's inclusion of Electro himself was not enough to make the title leave an impression on me.

Who was Omega?

Where was he from?

How did he get his powers?

Was he, as his name suggests, the living end?

Reader, I must confess I don't know.

This amnesia is odd, as the strip was co-written by Steve Gerber and drawn by Jim "The Eyes" Mooney, two creators for whom I've always had the highest levels of affection. In fact, after Jim Starlin, Steve Gerber was probably my favourite 1970s writer.

It seems the strip was co-written with Mary Skrenes, a writer I must confess to knowing even less about than I know about Omega. But I gather from the internet that there was something of an Original Captain Marvel vibe to the strip, with Omega's alter-ego being a schoolboy.

Also, it seems Omega himself never spoke and may have been no stranger to forgetting things himself.

Sadly, Omega only lasted for ten issues, suggesting he was one of those 1970s' Marvel try-outs, like Skull the Slayer, who never took flight.

But, if it was co-written by Steve Gerber, surely it must have had something going for it?

Mustn't it?

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned. Part 12: Marvel Preview #13, The UFO Connection.

A long long time ago, I did a post in which I revealed the covers of all the Black and White Marvel magazines I ever owned.

That post was full of such obvious contenders as Savage Sword of Conan and The Rampaging Hulk.

What it lacked was Marvel Preview #13, The UFO Connection.

Why did it lack it?

Because I'd totally forgotten I'd ever had it.

In retrospect, this seems astonishing, bearing in mind it was about aliens - and we all know there's no subject in the world more memorable than aliens.

Not only that but it contained an article that revealed that John Lennon and Jimmy Carter had both reported having seen UFOs.

Sadly, I haven't seen a copy of the mag since the early 1980s but, celebrity UFO eyewitnesses aside, what I do recall of it is its main story involved a man who was being hounded by space aliens and decided to build a pyramid to keep them at bay.

Why a pyramid would keep aliens at bay, I'm not sure.

But I can't help feeling the mag was a veritable time capsule for the age in which it was published. It was an era when Close Encounters was huge, when Erich Von Daniken was still big and anyone with any sense knew full well that pyramids had mystical. powers.

Was the mag any good?

I don't know. I recall so little of it.

But I do recall feeling a certain frisson when I read it at the time, so it must have been doing something right.

And if I forgot all about it, surely that can only be down to one thing.

The handiwork of the Men in Black themselves.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned. Part 11: Stalker #2.

How well I recall seeing Stalker issue #1 advertised within the pages of various DC mags in the mid-1970s. And, with its Steve Ditko and Wally Wood cover, what a marvellous thing it promised to be.

Sadly, I never got to find out if the mag ever delivered on that promise, as I never got my hands on an issue.

Or so I thought.

But yet again the internet has surprised and bamboozled me - by revealing that I did indeed have an issue of Stalker.

It was issue #2 and, until I blundered across its cover online, I'd totally forgotten I'd ever owned it.

Sadly, I remember nothing of the contents, although the cover tells me there might have been a four armed monster in it. Clearly this is a good thing for the monster in question. For, as we all know, to be four armed is to be forewarned.

The Grand Comics Database tells me this issue too was drawn by Steve Ditko and Wally Wood and so I suspect it all looked rather splendid inside.

Sadly, it seems readers may not have been as taken with the mag as that art team might suggest, as it managed to fold after just four issues.

Yet again the 1970s seem to have decreed that Conan was the only Sword and Sorcery hero who was allowed to prosper in that decade.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned. Part 10: Dr Who Annual 1978.

As we all know, Saturday was the most important day in human history.

It was the 50th anniversary of the first ever broadcast of the first ever episode of Dr Who.

To celebrate, the BBC flung everything but the kitchen sink at us, creating the impression that it was impossible to switch on the TV without being confronted by a show about the Gallifreyan gallivanter.

Even their rivals Channel 5 got in on the act by showing the second of Peter Cushing's 1960s Dr Who movies.

For a Doctor Who fan, it felt like Christmas always felt when you were a kid.

As for the various shows, I generally enjoyed the 50th anniversary episode. Multiple Doctor stories are always going to suffer from the fact that no story really needs more than one infallible hero in it, meaning the need to give each of them things to do, and say, forces the inclusion of dialogue and actions that are fun but not vital to drive the story forward, causing a certain saggage in the pacing.

But it had the return of the Zygons, the return of Totters Lane, the return of the old opening titles and Susan's old school.

And what sort of madman wouldn't be excited by the sight of all incarnations of the Doctor turning up to save Gallifrey - especially when we get a cameo from Peter Capaldi's rather terrifying eyeballs?

And then, of course, there was the return of Tom Baker; as barking mad as ever.

I also enjoyed Adventures in Space and Time, the drama about the show's creation; and also The Five-ish Doctors, Peter Davison and Georgia Moffett's side project about Davison, McCoy and Colin Baker desperately trying to force their way into the 50th anniversary episode in defiance of all opposition. It managed to be funny, touching and oddly sweet at the same time, with all concerned coming out of it well, with their willingness to send themselves up. I especially enjoyed John Barrowman's horrific secret and Ian McKellen's Sylvester-McCoyless scene with Peter Jackson.

"This is all very well and good," I hear you cry. "But what does this all have to do with comics?"

Well, you cry right because this is what it has to do with comics. As well as once owning a copy of TV Action in which Jon Pertwee decided to teach a six-legged camel a lesson by head-butting its feet, I once also had a copy of the 1978 Dr Who annual.

I'd love to regale you with tales of its magical contents...

...but I can't remember any of them.

I know it, "starred," Tom Baker because it says so on the cover above. I have a feeling it also co-starred Leela, the most well-spoken woman ever to have been raised in a jungle. I suspect it may have included crossword puzzles and the odd Ludo style board game because such books always did. It possibly had some educational content about space travel and science. Who can know?

Were the daleks in it?

I fear not - or I should surely have remembered.

Strangely enough, despite my childhood love for the show - and my still burning ambition to be a Sea-Devil when I grow up - I never owned another Dr Who annual. I suspect that I feared such books might not live up to the knuckle-chewing drama of the TV show and therefore stayed away from them.

Still, I like to feel that, in purchasing it, I made my contribution to the Dr Who industry that has made the show financially viable enough to last for as long as it has.

According to one of those online, "Work out how long you're going to live," things, I'm expected to die at the ripe old age of 92. But those people are fools! There's no way I shall ever allow myself to die before the 100th anniversary episode. Even if I have to turn myself into a Brain of Morbius type monstrosity to do it, I shall be there to see it.

To be honest, I'm counting down the days already.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned. Part 9: Marvel Two-In-One #37 & #49.

It's a case of, "Steve Does Appropriate," today as the feature the internet can't stop talking about returns with a two-in-one edition of its own.

A couple of years back, I bought a job lot of old comics that contained, amongst other things, a sizable run of Marvel Two-In-Ones. Upon perusing them I was surprised to discover that amongst them were two comics I'd totally forgotten I'd ever owned during childhood.

The first featured the Thing being buzzed in the ear to distraction until he starts breaking things - such as street lamps - and lands up in court. Needless to say, New York's only living lawyer Matt Murdock's soon on hand to no doubt fail in his duties.

The other tale features Dr Strange - and possibly the Thing going on holiday. And this is just how forgettable the comic is; because, even though I re-read this tale just two years ago, I still can't remember what happens in it, making it the only comic I've ever owned whose contents I've managed to forget twice.

As I've said before, given my love for the Thing, and how fondly I remember his series, it really is remarkable the difficulty I have recalling any story he's ever appeared in.

Oh well, I don't care. He's orange, he's made of rocks and he says, "It's Clobberin' Time!" a lot. And, when it comes down to it, that's good enough for me.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned, Part 8: Werewolf By Night #31 .

It's a strange thing that I've always thought I wasn't interested in Superman when I was a child but, in retrospect, I must've been because I had great piles of his comics.

In fact I probably had more Superman comics than those of any other hero.

Likewise I don't remember being any great fan of Werewolf by Night - seeing Jack Russell's furry alter-ego as little more than a watered-down Hulk. I was also unimpressed by his lack of actual powers. It seemed to me like he was no more use in a punch-up than anyone else was. My God, he didn't even have purple trousers to keep us entertained with.

But a quick look at the Grand Comics Database reminds me that I must have loved him because I had a whole bucketload of his issues.

This may make some sense. After all, who of us hasn't at some point wished we could transform into a wolf-monster and go on a nocturnal rampage? I know I have - and surely I can't be alone in that?

As for the comics, mostly my razor-sharp intellect recalls them. But, one I'd totally forgotten ever owning was issue #31. Bearing in mind its rather dramatic Gil Kane cover, this slippage of memory seems rather remiss of me.

Sadly, seeing the cover does nothing to stir memories of what happens within. I gather from the cover that it all gets dramatic and that children are involved. I assume there's snow. I assume the full moon rises. I assume Jack Russell turns into a werewolf. But beyond that? Who can know?

Well, probably someone who can remember it can know.

But that's not me and so I remain as blissfully ignorant as Jack Russell always did upon awakening after his latest escapade.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned. Part 7: Secrets of Haunted House #1.

It's time once more for me to delve into the Amnesian Fields of History as I struggle to recall yet another comic I'd totally forgotten I'd ever had until the internet reminded me.

And it's another one there's no excuse for me forgetting.

After all, not only is it issue #1 of a brand new horror title from DC but it features a rather spiffing cover by Luis Dominguez, incorporating the obligatory cowering children he and Nick Cardy so delighted in giving us on the front of so many horror mags.

What was in this issue?

Straining my magnificent brain, I have the notion that one of the tales within featured someone finding a small sea monster, whilst out fishing. What happened after that, I couldn't even claim to be able to elucidate upon.

Upon rediscovering this cover, I assumed Secrets of Haunted House must've been a short-lived title and a case of inflicting one horror mag too many on a saturated market but, according to the Grand Comics Database, it lasted seven years, which was a pretty good innings for a DC title launched in the mid-1970s.

So, all I can do in response to such an error is apologise to both the comic and to the fishy gentleman on its cover and hope that neither of them come looking for me.

After all, unlike the cowering children of the world, I have no rowing boat to hide beneath.

The Most Forgettable Comics I have Ever Owned. Part 6: The Destructor #3.

Any long-suffering follower of this blog'll know I was quite the avid collector of all things Atlas in my youth.

In retrospect, why this was, I have no idea - bearing in mind most of their output was often as uncharming as it was derivative.

I suppose it must've been purely down to the fact they were a new company and that to be in there at the start felt like it must've done in the 1960s when Marvel first started to take off.

Sadly, Atlas never did start to take off and, famously, all their titles were gone within four issues.

All of which brings me to my latest forgotten comic because, up until the wonders of the internet, I'd totally forgotten I'd ever had such a comic as The Destructor #3.

Why I'd forgotten, I don't know, as all their other titles had stuck in my mind long after they'd been thrown away. Even Police Action had lodged in my hippocampus and that didn't even have super-heroes in it.

My negligence is even odder bearing in mind The Destructor was drawn by none other than Steve Ditko.

I must confess that Steve Ditko in the 1970s posed a problem for me. I always wanted to like his work in that decade because of my love for his Marvel output of the 1960s. Who couldn't love his work on Spider-Man and Dr Strange? Why, the man deserved to declared a legend purely for the way he drew trousers, let alone anything else.

But. even as a youth, I couldn't get round the fact that, by the '70s, his work seemed increasingly dated, not to mention looking flatter, more juvenile and less detailed than it once had. Even his trousers didn't seem as good as they once had. This meant I picked up every comic drawn by Steve Ditko in that era hoping it'd be drawn the way he'd used to do it, only to be disappointed when it wasn't.

Was this the reason I totally forgot about The Destructor? Or was it just there was something inherently unmemorable about him? I don't know. I can't remember him and therefore can offer no opinion about him.

Then again, maybe there wasn't anything unmemorable about him. Maybe the fault was entirely my own.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned. Part 5: Beowulf #3.

The weird thing about this feature, where I drone on about comics I once owned but had totally forgotten about until blundering across their covers on the internet, is how many of them should be beyond forgetting.

Beowulf #3's a perfect example. I can't comment in any way, shape or form about the contents of the mag - having totally forgotten them - but I do know a Ricardo Villamonte cover like that should never be forgotten. It's a thing of absolute beauty - even if flinging yourself into a monster's mouth doesn't exactly strike me as the best tactic for defeating it. Still, at least he's got Shanna the She-Devil to help him out.

Not only that but the comic's about Beowulf.

I'm assuming it's about that Beowulf and not just some bloke who shares his name. If so, how could anyone ever forget they once had a comic about Beowulf? It'd be on a par with forgetting you ever had a comic about William Shatner.

Was the comic any good?

I've no idea.

A quick glance at the Grand Comics Database tells me It only lasted six issues, which I suppose isn't a good sign but maybe it was just a victim of there being too many sword and sorcery comics launched in the wake of the success of Conan. Then again, maybe it wasn't.