That's because Charlie has demanded I provide coverage of this year's World Snooker Championship.
Needless to say, I don't have a ticket to any of the matches, nor have I managed to catch any of them on TV, so this is my attempt to capture the power and majesty of the event, as best I can without having been there and without having seen it.
The legendary venue itself.
The entrance of the Crucible Theatre is on the very spot where the entrance to the now-demolished Adelphi Hotel once stood.
It was in the Adelphi Hotel that the first rules of football were drawn up, and where Sheffield Wednesday, Sheffield United, the Sheffield Football Association, and Yorkshire County Cricket Club were all founded. It was also the place where the decision was made to build Bramall Lane cricket ground which went on to become the world's oldest professional football stadium.
Some might argue that such epic historical significance made the hotel worthy of preservation.
Sheffield City Council thought otherwise.
Red snooker balls, made of flowers, and a Betfred billboard, let us know the event's in town.
Two men, made of leaves, and playing snooker, stand guard outside the theatre.
Guarding an entrance with two snooker players is a tradition that goes all the way back to the time of Stonehenge, 4,500 years ago.
This is where the TV trucks park, round the side of the building.
At the far end of the square, the glass wall of the Winter Gardens becomes part of the event.
This is the stage door, through which players can ofttimes be spotted entering and leaving.
After the end of World War Two, Winston Churchill once stood on the Town Hall balcony and addressed the cheering hordes below.
Where the great man once stood, now stands another Betfred billboard.
They have yet to teach it how to wave to the crowds.
A big screen stands outside the Central Library and the Lyceum Theatre, relaying live footage of the event to the watching masses.
Inside the Winter Gardens, the path that leads to, "The CueZone."
In the CueZone, we find the chairs used for TV interviews.
Behind those chairs, an exhibition match takes place for the entertainment of onlookers.
And here's an Arctic Monkeys related elephant, which has nothing to do with the snooker but is next to the CueZone, so I thought I'd throw it in anyway.
It was the week in which the London Underground's Jubilee line was inaugurated, best known for inspiring the earrings of my least favourite ever X-Man.
Even more excitingly, in this week of forty years ago, Greenland was granted limited autonomy from Denmark, with its own Parliament sitting in Nuuk.
It's another of those Star Wars issues where I don't have a clue what happens inside it.
Clearly, Adam Warlock and the Micronauts are still going but I can provide no detail of what they're up to. The Magus and the search for lost colleagues are almost certainly involved.
But does that cover say, "The tax collector from Space?"
Conan finds himself up against the Pool of the Black one - otherwise known as Blackpool.
Pool of the Black One is a title that rings a bell for me. I'm pretty sure I've read the Robert E Howard original but I've no memory of anything that actually happens in it.
Bruce Banner's investigating a dodgy mining operation. There's no doubt the management are planning to put a stop to his snooping.
And there's no doubt that, when they try, they'll get more than they bargained for.
Dr Strange and Clea are still tootling around in the past, trying to untangle the truth about America's history. But will they survive an encounter with the deadly menace of Stygyro, a villain I still get mixed up with the American Jazz fusion band Spiro Gyra.
No such confusion for the X-Men. They're now up against Count Nefaria and his Ani-Men.
Admittedly, Count Nefaria and his Ani-Men sound like a jazz combo as well.
But they're not.
Starburst gives us a look at a Lord of the Rings film I've never seen.
Not that I've ever seen any Lord of the Rings films.
More importantly, it's taking a look at one of my favourite sci-fi movies - Forbidden Planet - and the greatest puppet show of all time.
The Hulk gets into a fight with some men on a train.
New York's being invaded by the Deviants.
Ant-Man's battling the Scarlet Beetle's insect hordes.
The Black Knight's fighting trolls.
I've no idea what Nick Fury's up to.
Night-Raven's up against the assassin who's been hired to kill him.
Perhaps most significantly of all, this issue's Sez Dez page features a claim that, in its first month, Hulk Comic sold over a million copies.
Perhaps Dez wasn't as daft as he might have seemed...
Godzilla's, clearly, still on the rampage.
Other than that, I've no information at all about the contents of this issue.
Speaking of total ignorance, I don't know what's happening in this issue either.
I do know, though, that the Hypno-Hustler's up against Spidey - and that alone has to make it worth the admission fee.
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