Speak Your Brain! Part 66. The best Dracula and your favourite monster movies.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

Listen! Can you hear them? The children of the night?

You probably can because it is, even as I type these words, using my own blood as ink, that most terrifying night of the year.

But is that what's on your mind?

I've no idea.

But I soon will have because it's also the last Tuesday of the month.

And that means it's the return of the feature that's been known to drive a stake of terror into the heart of even the strongest man.

It's the one in which you and you alone get to decide just what's going to be the day's subject for debate.

That subject could involve tonight's events but, given that we've only recently discussed Halloween, it doesn't have to be. It could be any subject at all that tickles your fancy.

For instance, I've noticed there's a new Beatles single out shortly. There are also three Doctor Who 60th Anniversary specials due to be unleashed in the next month. Guy Fawkes Night is mere days away - and Christmas is just around the corner. Then again, it may be something else altogether that's floating your boat right now.

And that's the point. It is your boat and, in the comments section below, you may launch it as you see fit.

Halloween!!!

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Holy haddocks, as we say in England. It's just struck me that this venerable site has never done a post dedicated to that fear-filled festival of frightful frivolity that is Halloween.

Admittedly, that's not strictly speaking true. A click on this link here will whisk you to numerous ancient musings that have skirted upon the topic,

However, what is true is that I've never launched a post directly dedicated to the festival itself. Therefore, here is that post.

My earliest memory of Halloween is of blundering around our back garden, in the late 1960s, carrying a turnip that had a scary face carved into it and a blazing candle inside. There were none of those fancy pumpkins, back then. We had to make do with turnips, just as our primitive ancestors had. I would assume this was in either October 1968 or 1967 because I know I was elsewhere on October 31st, 1969 and I would, surely, have been too young to remember it if the year was 1966 or earlier.

Other childhood memories are of bobbing for apples, scrying with a mirror, and even breaking out the Ouija Board to see if contact could be made with the spirits of the dead. Reader, I can reveal that no contact with the dead was ever established.

That was at home. In primary school, we were encouraged to cut out cats, bats, and witches on broomsticks, from black paper, and hang them from the ceiling.

And, of course, we were taught how to make witches' hats from black paper, then encouraged to wear them on the way home from school.

When it comes to culture, the things I most associate with the event are, inevitably, John Carpenter's Halloween movies but, of that multitude, the only one that's ever grabbed me is Halloween III which bears no resemblance to the others and may or may not have been written by Quatermass creator Nigel Kneale.

I also associate the date with Ghostwatch, BBC One's 1992 broadcast that purported to be a livecast from a haunted house. It all ended with Sarah Greene missing, presumed dead, and Michael Parkinson alone in a possessed TV studio. It was all fake but that didn't stop large numbers of people believing it to be true and phoning in to complain, making it the most complained about TV show in British history.

I associate no songs with Halloween. In fact, off the top of my head, I can't even think of any songs that have the word in the title.

I associate no paintings with Halloween.

Of course, I associate, a million and one comics with the festival, what with 1970s DC having churned out the likes of The Witching Hour, The Unexpected, House of Secrets, House of Mystery, Ghosts and a gazillion others. 

As for what I'll be doing this October 31st, unless I can summon up the willpower to go out for the evening, I shall be doing what I always do and hide behind the settee, with the lights out, in case any trick-or-treaters come to the door. That way, I can save all my sweets for myself and not have to share them with anyone. After all, if Halloween has taught me anything in life, it's that the evil in my soul must be allowed free rein to express itself.

Those are my heart-warming thoughts upon the matter and I'm sure you have heart-warming thoughts of your own. Therefore, feel free to post your Halloween experiences, feelings, conclusions, remembrances, expectations, associations and anything else that might occur to you, in the space below.

October 27th, 1973 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

In 1973, you were either a Donny Osmond fan or a David Cassidy fan.

Unless you were a fan of someone else altogether.

Thus it was that that age-old rivalry was stoked up again, as Cassidy of the David variety smashed his way to Number One on the UK singles chart, with his classic double-A side Daydreamer/The Puppy Song.

Admittedly, when I say, "Classic," I possess no memory of either track and have no idea how either of them went.

Interesting to see that, although he was ruling the charts in Britain; in the US, by the start of 1973, his chart career was already over, with a string of singles failing to crack the Top 200 until Gettin' It in the Street reached Number 105 in 1976. The divergent tastes of the UK and US publics are ofttimes a mystery.

On the accompanying British LP chart, pole position was now hogged by relentless party blues-boogie three-chord-wonder rock band Status Quo with their album Hello.

I must confess I've never heard that record but think I can make a pretty good guess as to what every track on it sounded like.

Stranded in China, the Hulk must match the might of the deadly Smashor, thanks to the machiavellian machinations of the mendacious Mandarin.

I would assume this is all part of the villain's attempt to get the Hulk to assist him in his plans for world domination. Setting a giant robot on someone seems a strange way to win friends and influence people but what can you do?

Next, we get an oddity, as the mag presents us with a 1961 Lee/Ditko tale called The Stone Man in which a pensioner asks the statue of a local hero to help the local poor. His prayers are answered but his neighbours cheat him out of his share of the statue’s gift. Can it be long before that statue avenges the old man?

No, it can't.

And, in our final strip of the issue, Dr Strange helps the Fantastic Four rescue Sue Storm from the clutches of the lovesick Sub-Mariner.

Gasp, humanity, as Wonder Man makes his senses-shattering debut!

But is he hero or villain?

Or is he both?

It's true. The man known to the world as Mr Zemo launches his latest plan to destroy the Earth's mightiest heroes, by getting his new recruit to join the gang and then betray them.

Will his foul scheme triumph?

Not if Wonder Man has his way!

Meanwhile, in Dr Strange's deathless strip, Baron Mordo places a spell over our hero's house which transports it to another world.

With Strange out of the way, the villain visits the Ancient One, claiming he's changed his ways. Will the elderly eldritch educator see through his pesky plan?

Too right he will.

The Rhino's busted out of prison - and he's out for revenge against Spider-Man, after their last meeting!

The cloddish wrongdoer might seem unstoppable but our hero has a secret weapon up his sleeve.

Literally.

Meanwhile, in Thor's current adventure, our hero's still battling Loki in the Trial of the Gods, while Balder attempts to stop the Enchantress and Executioner tormenting Jane Foster.

Speak Your Brain! Part 65. Things that have lasted and lasted and lasted.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

Welcome, dear wanderer in the Webbosphere, to my homely chateau.

Or should that be chat-o?

That's right; an introduction of that quality can only mean one thing. It's the return of the feature the whole world and his next-door-neighbour-but-one is talking about.

And that's the one where you get to decide just what's going to be the day's subject for debate.

It could be topical. It could be tropical. It could be typical, pitiful or whip-poor-will.

It could even be something that isn't one of those things.

None of that matters.

All that matters is that it's posted below.

October 1983 - Marvel UK monthlies, 40 years ago this month.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

There's nothing like being precise in life and, this month in 1983, things got a whole lot preciserer, as it was the month in which the 17th General Conference on Weights and Measures decided to define the metre as the distance light travels in a vacuum in 1/299,792,458 of a second. That decision was certainly a big load off my mind.

No doubt that measurement was coming in handy for British entrepreneur Richard Noble who, at that time, set a land speed record of 1,019.468 km/h, in his "car" Thrust2 at the Black Rock Desert in Nevada.

But things were also happening in Chicago, as October saw the first call made with a commercial mobile cellular telephone.

We also saw the United States' invasion of Grenada; carried out to please Eugenia Charles of Dominica.

The UK singles chart, meanwhile, welcomed the month with Culture Club's Karma Chameleon at Number One before that was overthrown by Billy Joel's Uptown Girl.

On the corresponding album chart, October began with Paul Young's No Parlez triumphant before it was dethroned by Genesis's self-titled LP which was then toppled by Culture Club's Colour by Numbers.

Daredevil may dominate the front cover - and have the mag named after him - but our main strip features Captain Britain who gets slapped around so badly by the Fury that it causes much concern in the Merlyn household.

After that, we get fanzine reviews from Alan Moore and Lew Stringer.

Then, Night Raven continues his battle with the Snow Queen.

Now, there's a three-page tale featuring someone called the Crusader, brought to us by Alan Davis and Paul Neary and, allegedly, reprinted from the venerable pages of Rampage.

And, of course, we finish the book with its cover star who's concerned that Bullseye's brain tumor's making the villain think everybody he encounters is our hero.

The mag dedicated to the cosmos' greatest adventurer is once more upon us and, amongst the usual features, we get a look at Shada, described as, "The story you never saw," even though, thanks to the wonders of animation, those of us reading in 2023, have had the chance to see it.

There's also a review of the latest Peter Davison serials Enlightenment and The King's Demons.

Hooray! This month's cover invites us to meet Wolverine, even though I'm fairly sure we already have!

In our main tale, Dr Doom's captured Arcade, leading the X-Men to go to the villain's rescue.

Storm, meanwhile, is wined and dined by Doomsie.

The issue's second tale presents us with the events of Wolverine #1 in which our main man arrives in Japan to confront Mariko about her marriage to another - and then ends up fighting her father.

Guess how much I know about this month's issue.

That's right. Nothing.

I do know, though, thanks to the cover, that it features both Sword and Sorcery at its greatest and Robert E Howard's greatest hero.

By Crom, that sounds worth 75 pence of anyone's looted spoils.

Our favourite sci-fi mag decides it's time to take a look at Judge Dredd and at what the future may hold in store for him.

There's also an interview with Jack Clayton, director of the soon-to-be-surfacing Ray Bradbury adaptation Something Wicked This Way Comes.

And, as the cover makes clear, there's a look, both backward and forwards, at the phenomenon the world knows as The Twilight Zone.

October 20th, 1973 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Life in Britain - or, at least, London - suddenly got a whole lot more popadabadobulous, this week in 1973 because it saw the launch of Capital Radio, the United Kingdom's first legal music-themed commercial independent local radio station. This act started a cultural revolution that would hit its very apex with the creation of Radio Hallam, several years later.

And it wasn't the only big event occurring. It was also the week in which the Dalai Lama made his first visit to the UK. I have no doubt that Capital Radio was the only radio station he listened to while he was here. Indeed, he must have returned home with the tunes of Slade, Suzi Quatro and Alvin Stardust spinning around in his head.

It's a tale I remember oh so well, as the world's mightiest mortal takes on the annular antagonism of the world's ringiest rogue.

And it happens because the Mandarin wants to test the Hulk's abilities, in order to see if he'd make a worthy ally in the villain's quest to rule the world.

During the issue's other tale, the Sub-Mariner kidnaps Sue Storm in an attempt to convince her to marry him.

Needless to say, this leads to the rest of the FF showing up with an eye on retrieving her.

I'm no expert psychologist but I suspect that, generally, if you want to convince someone you're the kind of man she should be marrying, it's probably best not to kidnap her.

A legend of futuristic villainy makes his first appearance when Kang appears and demands to be made ruler of the planet Earth. I'm not sure what the Mandarin would make of that.

Regardless, the Avengers attempt to stop him - but they're going to need all the power of the Teen Brigade to do it!

Meanwhile, in our other story of the issue, Nightmare's gained the ability to bring humans to his world.

That leads the police to call in Dr Strange.

And that leads to a paranormal punch-up.

John Jameson, the world's unluckiest astronaut, has been exposed to strange space spores that grant him strength which can only be contained by a special costume.

As Spider-Man's been accused of robbing a bank, the brand new super-hero decides to capture him but is growing more unhinged by the moment.

And guess what, Tiger. That's not the only excitement, this issue, because I do believe this to be the tale in which Mary Jane Watson's face makes its jackpot-smashing debut.

Elsewhere, Thor and Loki must endure a Trial of the Gods which will show Odin which one of his sons is lying to him. Frankly, I would have thought the answer to that one would be obvious. But not to Odin, it isn't.

Needless to say, Loki attempts to cheat his way to triumph while the Enchantress and Executioner set about mistreating Jane Foster in a bid to swing things their way.

Speak Your Brain! Part 64. Laziness and the Rolling Stones.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

What on Earth am I talking about?

I've no idea.

But you might have.

That's because, as has happened so often in the past, we've reached that time of the month when we must greet the return of a feature so awesome it just can't be stopped.

And that feature is the one where you - not I - get to decide just what's going to be the topic du jour.

Will it be contemporary? Will it be nostalgic? Will it point toward an as-yet-unguessed-of future?

I cannot say.

But you can.

And you can say it by posting your preferred topic in the comments section below.

2000 AD - September 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Who knows what lurks at the bottom of the ocean?

In September 1985, Robert Ballard and Jean-Louis Michel shed at least a little light upon that subject when they discovered the wreck of the Titanic, thanks to the technology of side-scan sonar.

While they were doing that; far above the surface, the cinemas of the world were serving up such treats as After Hours, Death of a Salesman, Agnes of God and Invasion USA.

As far as I can recall, After Hours is the only one of those films I've seen. Therefore, I shall vote for it as my favourite of that pick.

Not necessarily a favourite of mine was David Bowie and Mick Jagger's Live Aid cover of Dancing in the Street.

But, clearly, I was alone in my doubts as, that very September, it soared to the top of the UK singles chart where it remained for most of the month. Once there, it seemed to spend all its time fending off the challenge of Bonnie Tyler's Holding Out For a Hero. Tragically, Bonnie's track never did make it to Number One and when that duet was finally conquered, it was felled, instead, by Midge Ure's rather less intense If I Was.

Over on the British album chart, the month kicked off with Now That's What I Call Music 5 in top slot before that was usurped by Madonna's Like a Virgin. But then even Madge herself had to make way for the dramatic entry, at Number One, of Kate Bush's comeback LP that the world - and Kate Bush - knew as Hounds of Love. 

When it came to the galaxy's greatest comic, that publication was giving us, as it so often did, Sláine, Tharg's Future-Shocks, Strontium Dog, Judge Dredd and Ace Trucking Co.

But it also saw the returns of Nemesis the Warlock and Sam Slade: Robo-Hunter, with Prog 436 even including a two-part feature dedicated to Satanus the dinosaur.

And, what was this? Prog 437 featured a brand new strip starring The Mean Team who, judging by that cover, look like very determined characters. 

And there was even more to get excited about because Prog 435 was giving away walkie talkies, which meant that, at last, we could communicate at great distances!

Truly, the future was well and truly here.

October 13th, 1973 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

The summits of the UK music charts were looking decidedly becalmed, this week in 1973, with Eye Level by the Simon Park Orchestra still dominating the singles listing, and Sladest by Slade untoppled atop the album rankings.

Eye Level is, of course, a pleasant piece of music but the tracks that most appealed to me on that week's singles chart were:

My Friend Stan - Slade

Ballroom Blitz - the Sweet

Nutbush City Limits - Ike and Tina Turner

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John

Rock On - David Essex

Angie - the Rolling Stones

Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan

and

Showdown - Electric Light Orchestra.

Interesting to see those evergreen novelty songs Monster Mash and David Bowie's Laughing Gnome battling it out with each other at Numbers Five and Six respectively.

Should you seek to investigate further, that week's UK singles chart can be discovered here. 

While the corresponding LP chart dwells here.

I would say the Rhino makes his senses-shattering Marvel UK debut, this week, except he's already made it, thanks to a later Hulk story having already been reprinted in Mighty World of Marvel.

Regardless, the thick-headed thief attempts to kidnap John Jameson, in order to supply him to foreign powers who seek access to US space programme secrets. Needless to say, everyone's favourite man-spider is on hand to give him a patriotic punch in the gob.

Following that, Thor liberates Jane Foster from Loki - but Odin appears and tells him off for bringing her to Asgard. This can only lead to one thing. A trial of the gods between the thunderer and Loki!

But, first, there's the small matter of the Absorbing Man to be dealt with.

Finally, in this week's Tale of Asgard, Odin must appoint a sentry to guard the Rainbow Bridge.

But who shall he hire? Shall it be Agnar, Gotron or Heimdall?

Never having read it, I don't know much about the main tale in this one but I do know it features Baron Zemo, the Enchantress and Executioner. I can only assume, therefore, that the tyrannical trio combine to confront the world's mightiest super-team, including Thor.

I'm also going to assume, from that cover, that the thunder god falls under the Enchantress' spell and goes into battle against the gang.

Meanwhile, In England, Baron Mordo lures Dr Strange into a trap but our hero defeats him with the help of Victoria Bentley, a young woman blessed with the world's most English name and a smattering of mystical gifts.

In New York, the Hulk's still battling the Missing Link while Nick Fury and SHIELD move in to capture the duo.

However, a Russian ship nips in first and captures them.

Even more however, it all climaxes with the Missing Link inconveniently exploding - as missing links are prone to do, thus explaining why they're all missing.

Meanwhile, the Fantastic Four are still failing to stop the Infant Terrible, and things get so bad that they have to call the parents in!

The Marvel Lucky Bag - October 1983.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

The cinemas of the world were filled with advice for me, this month in 1983. After all, they were showing the movies the world knows as Never Cry Wolf and Never Say Never Again. Sound advice, indeed, that I've stuck to never since.

But that wasn't all the movie theatres had to offer. They also supplied us with such celebrated fare as All the Right Moves, The Dead Zone, The Right Stuff, Rumble Fish, Educating Rita and The Wicked Lady. None of which have I ever seen.

I have, however, seen Never Say Never Again and must confess I wasn't impressed by it. Especially not by the computer game scene. Maybe it's just me but I don't feel James Bond should play computer games.

But what's this? A brand new trade paperback? In the style of Origins of Marvel Comics? Featuring classic team-ups?

Why did no one ever tell me such a thing existed?

In it, we get Thor's first encounter with the Silver Surfer; Spider-Man and Red Sonja thwarting Kulan Gath; the Avengers barging in on the X-Men's clash with Lucifer; the Thing and Hulk fighting on behalf of Kurrgo and the Leader; Spider-Man and Daredevil meeting the Circus of Crime; and Iron Man battling Captain America, in the mistaken belief he's the Chameleon in disguise.

Seriously, what kind of a fool wouldn't want to get that for Christmas?

Possibly the most American concept in comics ever, as the mighty mutants descend upon the State Fair in Texas.

It would seem Magneto's also headed that way - and out to recruit a brand new mutant.

I assume the centaur on the cover is the mutant in question, rather than the Angel having had a dramatic transformation.

After recently turning up in Spider-Man's adventures, the dichotomic duo get a series of their own, even if it's only planned to last for four issues.

Apparently, they ask someone called Father Delgado for sanctuary. However, that's all I know of this issue's contents.

That's a striking cover by Bill Sienkiewicz. I always feel you can't go wrong when you use purple on the front of a book.

Inside, the Dire Wraiths return to Clairton where they impersonate a high school football hero and his date.

Meanwhile, Rom and Starshine investigate an island inhabited by a mechanical boy and his deadly toys.

But the big news is the Dire Wraiths have changed their appearance and are now big orange monsters with long, barbed tongues they use to suck their victims dry!

As you may have guessed, I've picked this one for the John Byrne created cover's determination to make the most of monochrome.

Inside, the so-called Master of the World has captured Marrina. So, Alpha Flight invades his fortress, in a bid to effect a rescue!

Watch out, Darth Vader, a brand new Star Wars-based comic's hitting our spinner racks!

It's brought to us by Archie Goodwin, Al Williamson and Carlos Garzón. And no one, I think, will be amazed to discover it's an adaptation of the movie of the same name.

After drinking poisoned water, Red Sonja's nursed back to health by a stranger who's killed before she learns his identity. Out to avenge him, she travels to somewhere called Alwazar and joins the military, where she must serve under a female general.

Forty years ago today - October 1983.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

What's this madness? It's the middle of October and the sun is out? I must bury my face in the pages of the comics of forty years ago, if I'm to retain the deathly pallor the world admires me for. 

Can it be true? Is Marvel's greatest loner about to join an actual team?

Not if the Avengers have their way.

Then again, they may not have their way, as the webbed wonder stows away on their quinjet when they go to deal with the Lava Men who've taken over a top-secret base.

The Lava Men are quickly placated but what's this? Moonstone's there? And Electro? and Blackout? And the Rhino? They've been held prisoner in the complex but now they've escaped? And they're looking for some heads to smash?

It's starting to look like the gang are going to need all the spidery help they can get.

It's the team-up you may have thought you'd never see, as Captain America works with the man who used to be Deathlok, in order to take the original Deathlok's body away from the Brand corporation.

Thanks to Dr Doom, the man once known as Terrax is on the loose in New York and, - with his cosmic powers restored - it's starting to look like nothing can stop him!

Now there's trouble.

With Thunderbolt Ross's help, MODOK revives the comatose Abomination, in order to set him on the Hulk.

There's only one problem. The Abomination has so much PTSD from previous encounters with the jade juggernaut that he's too scared to face him.

Fortunately, the huge-headed heel thinks he has a solution to that problem.

In order to prevent Obadiah Stane from getting his hands on Tony Stark's suits of armour, Rhodey's dumped them in the sea.

Unfortunately, now both Warlord Krang and Nick Fury want to get their hands on them.

And that means the iron-clad stand-in is going to have to get in there and get his feet wet.

Having been recaptured, the Punisher's put on trial and the courtroom debate begins about whether the violent vigilante's insane or not.

Needless to say, this prompts some soul-searching on the part of our hero who starts to wonder if he's as different from the accused as he likes to think he is.

Thor has a brief run-in with Captain Ultra who's trying to help out in an emergency but is only managing to make things worse.

But that's the least of the thunder god's problems because Sif's getting homesick and threatening to forever leave our hero behind.

I'm struggling to recall the contents of this one but, according to the Grand Comics Database, Kitty kisses Colossus, Binary joins the Starjammers, Wolverine confronts Mariko for scrapping their wedding, and Scott and Maddie visit Alaska where she quickly turns into the Dark Phoenix and attacks him.

At last, Spidey discovers the true identity of the Hobgoblin!

Or does he?

Because it turns out the man he's been fighting was just a hired lackey used to throw the wall-crawler off the scent.

The man of mystery the world doesn't know as Dark Wind has given Bullseye adamantium bones and restored him to full health - only for the assassin to betray him.

And that's not the only problem he's got because, now, he's killed by his own daughter Yuriko.

All in all, it's not been a good day for the would-be criminal genius.

Two tribes of people have lived in peace for centuries but, now, the younger among them have decided to worship a god who's nothing but trouble. And that leads to all kinds of unpleasantness before Conan steps in and murders them, with their own idol.