2000 AD - June 1987.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

It must have been a dilemma, knowing just what to see when you went to the cinema in June 1987.

That's because it was a month that saw the release of such memorable offerings as Harry and the Hendersons, The Untouchables, Predator, The Witches of Eastwick, Roxanne, Dragnet and Spaceballs.

Granted, not all those films were what could be called masterpieces - one or two of them might even be called not good, by a man less charitable than me - but they were, at least, memorable.

I shall, of course, nominate Predator as my Film of the Month because who doesn't like to see people being slaughtered by monsters in the woods?

When it came to music, June kicked off with Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) at Number One on the UK singles chart, before that had to make way for the power and majesty of The Firm's Star Trekkin' which then had to subside before the pomp and bombast of the Pet Shop Boys' It's a Sin.

However, over on the accompanying album chart, the period was totally dominated by Whitney Houston, with her self-titled 2nd album managing to stay on top for the entire month.

And what of the Galaxy's Greatest Comic?

Shockingly, it was giving us Anderson PSI Division, Rogue Trooper, Judge Dredd and Strontium Dog.

But, just to shake things up a bit, it did also supply us with The Return of the Mean Team, D.R. & Quinch's Agony Page and a single-page Tales From Mega-City One.

July 19th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

They always reckon that, in space, they can't hear you scream.

Who can't? And can you not text them?

Thankfully, there was no need for either screaming or texting in space, this week in 1975, because it was a month in which the American Apollo spacecraft and Soviet Soyuz spacecraft docked with each other in orbit, marking the first such link-up between spacecraft from the two nations. That meant the people on board could talk to each other, face to face, in a civilised manner that didn't involve either screaming or the use of thumbs.

And you know who was bound to be pleased by that?

The Bay City Rollers.

After all, it was the very week in which they were imploring us all to Give a Little Love in their song of that title, as it soared to Number One on the UK singles chart.

But also with outer space on their minds were Wings who reclaimed the pinnacle of the UK album rankings, thanks to their current release Venus and Mars.

It's a thrilling day for all British Marvel fans because Spidey's only gone and decided to travel to London in search of Gwen Stacy, in the hopes of convincing her to go back to New York with him!

Unfortunately, this brings the man we in Britain know as Spider-Geezer into conflict with a terrorist cell that's out to blow up Her Majesty's Big Ben!

Elsewhere, Iron Man muscles in on Batman's territory when he's dispatched to Vietnam to deal with mad scientist Half-Face. As far as I can recall, he turns out not to be mad at all.

But there's much bigger trouble in store for Thor when Tana Nile asks him to visit Rigel to beat up Galactus who's in danger of eating everything in her galaxy.

Good God above! That cover promises us more action than the human mind can possibly even hope to dream of hoping to manage to accommodate, as the newly-merged mag flings everything it can at us!

It kicks off with the Swordsman smashing through a billboard, on his way to fight Clint Barton in a bid to prove, once and for all, that he's his former apprentice's superior.

Except he isn't.

Because he's the Swordsman.

And he's nobody's superior.

Not even his apprentice.

Conan's still involved in the siege of Makkalet and I do suspect it's the issue in which he has to fight a bunch of skeletons in helmets.

And Dr Strange, meanwhile, is in a seaside town that worships a god called Sligguth.

And he soon discovers his magic doesn't work properly there!

The Hulk's well and truly back in Jarella Land, where he quickly rescues his girlfriend and leads her subjects to revolt against the evil Visis.

However, the villain's got one last trick up his sleeve - the ability to create another Hulk!

One that's stupid!

And therefore has a big advantage over a clever Hulk!

Elsewhere, the Jester gets himself hired by Richard Raleigh to take out his rival for the job of District Attorney - Foggy Nelson.

And the Fantastic Four go to The Beehive where Him's cocoon finally opens to reveal he in all his's declamatory glory.

Given the total lack of fighting skills, tactical nous, and intelligence of Jack Russell's hairy alter-ego, it's hard to see how a fight between him and Dracula could be anything other than a one-sided smackdown but, nonetheless, that tussle reaches its second issue.

And it does so with Jack discovering that Dracula killed one of his ancestors!

Meanwhile, Frankenstein's Monster is hanging around with a robot and getting increasingly frustrated by its inability to tell him just who he really is.

It's always a moment of excitement when Marvel UK decides to reprint one of the painted US Planet of the Apes covers instead of commissioning a new one. This one's by Earl Norem, I do believe.

Inside, Brent and Nova explore a tunnel which leads them to a huge cavern containing what seems to be a dead city!

On another world entirely, Adam Warlock finally manages to bump off the terror of Triax.

And I do believe the Counter-Earth version of Dr Doom puts in an appearance.

I do believe Norrin wraps up his battle with the Overlord but it means he must return to Earth and be stuck there again.

And the X-Men and Human Torch are still trying to stop the Juggernaut, even though everyone knows that no one can stop the Juggernaut!

Atlas/Seaboard July 1975.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Hold on to your hats, literature lovers, because there's a whole mountain range of comics from Atlas to get through, this month.

With such activity, we can only assume the company's going from strength to strength.

Or is it?

Atlas heroes are not always famed for their staying power but Wulf the Barbarian's no quitter. Unlike some others, he's made it to his third issue and is still battling strong.

This time, he has a run-in with some rat-men and I seem to recall he encounters a sort of techno-mage blessed with a big industrial complex, or something. Is there a vague Wizard of Oz analogy-thing also going on with it all?

There you go. Proof positive that people can never accuse me of being vague about things.

Publisher Martin Goodman once famously told Stan Lee that people wouldn't buy a comic about someone with spider-powers.

And it seems he was right because, after just three missions, the Tarantula finds his adventures coming to a premature end.

But what a way to go, with something or other happening that involves living gargoyles!

But you know who else comes a cropper this month?

None other than John Targitt himself!

And even a new costume and the appearance of all-time great super-villain Professor Death can't save his book from the curse of cancellation!

And yet another Atlas title hits the buffers.

And does so just as it introduces sensational new super-doer the Man-Monster.

I can shed little light on the Man-Monster, as I've never read this one but I do know he's a former champion swimmer and that the villain of the piece is called Hell-Blazer.

But fans of series, "regular," the Bog Beast need not despair. Despite the arrival of that new character, the Bog Beast gets one last outing when, in this issue's back-up strip, he discovers There's a Vampire Killer Still at Large!

Can the Scorpion buck the trend and survive and thrive where others are stung?

No, he can't.

Despite getting a brand new costume and being transplanted from the 1930s to the 1970s, he too comes crashing to an early demise with his third issue.

But how is it possible that he's failed when he's up against villainy as profound as that of the Golden Fuhrer who I'm sure bears no resemblance at all to Marvel's Red Skull.

Is the dedicated Atlas fan to be downhearted by all these cancellations?

No, he isn't - because he's still got Sgt Stryker and his Death Squad to keep his spirits up!

If this wasn't also their final issue.

In this month's thrilling excursion, we encounter Kill Rommel and Dead-Man's Ridge! brought to us by Archie Goodwin, Al McWilliams, and Jack Sparling.

Anybody want to bet any money on whether this will be the final issue of Planet of the Vampires?

I think we can all guess that it shall.

My knowledge of this month's tale is especially clueless but I do know it's called The Blood Plague! and comes from the brains, pencils and typewriters of John Albano and Russ Heath.

And now we encounter Atlas' most radical response yet to the failure of almost all its books.

And that's to kill a central character!

It's true. It's clearly been decided by someone in authority that a child-murdering tree isn't the best lead for a comic. And, so, he's bumped off this issue, with the plan being for him to be replaced in the book by The Midnight Men.

Sadly, that plan won't work and the comic will never be seen again.

And nor will the Midnight Men!

Apart from all that, the most intriguing aspect of this issue is it's drawn by Steve Ditko but inked by Bernie Wrightson which is a combination that should be enough to get any comic flying off the shelves.

The internet informs me that 260,000 copies of this issue were printed, with 15,000 of them for sale in Britain. This would appear to be a typical print-run for the company and its books.

But at least we can rely on Ironjaw to not go down like a sack of potatoes.

And he hasn't. He's managed to make it to his fourth issue!

Which will be his last.

It appears that, before he goes, we encounter the origin of our, "hero," who I vaguely recall having been some sort of happy-go-lucky, chilled-out peacenik entertainer who loses his jaw and turns into a psychotic thug.

It seems that even Satan can't stop the Grim Ghost's newest foe!

Having said that, the villain is dead by the end of the tale. So, he can't be that tough.

Elsewhere, Satan increases the Grim Ghost's powers, but that won't be enough to save him from his real enemy, which is public apathy. Sadly, this will prove to be Grimmy's final issue.

But all these people getting their comics cancelled after just three issues are slackers.

The Cougar manages to get his scrapped after only two!

It's true, the Hollywood stuntman turned mediocre crime-fighter has a run-in with a werewolf - who's killing everyone the Cougar knows - before ascending to the Great Stuntman Social Club in the Sky.

It's hard not to warm to the Brute, a simple soul who just wants to be left alone to eat human flesh, but even that isn't enough to save him and he too hits his final issue this month.

In this sensational thriller, our protagonist is captured by the police but escapes.

However, in another location, mad scientist Rolf Hendrick unleashes his cyborg Doomstalker upon the world!

But forget the Cougar's failure after just two issues, because Blazing Battle Tales has a gauntlet of its own that it wants to throw down - by getting cancelled after just one!

In it, Sgt Hawk encounters The One-Armed Beast  -which doesn't sound very scary. I'd be far more worried about the danger it poses if it had two of them.

That's followed by The Sky Demon in The Sky Demon!

And that's followed by Private William Swanson in The Bronze Star Winner.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - July 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

It's July 1985 and, by an incredible coincidence, in my pocket, I have however much money it is that it costs to buy a cinema ticket in July 1985.

But what to spend it on?

That's the dilemma.

A dilemma that could tear a man's mind apart.

And just one look at what films were released that month makes it clear just why I'll be lucky to emerge with sanity intact.

After all, it was a month that unleashed such titans of entertainment as Back to the Future, The Emerald Forest, Red Sonja, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Silverado, Day of the Dead, Wetherby, Kiss of the Spider Woman and National Lampoon's European Vacation.

I'm sure those are all magnificent offerings but it goes without saying that the film released, that July, which I most want to see is something that goes by the name of Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam. I have no idea what that is but the title alone is telling at me that viewing it is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I don't mention Savage Sword of Conan much in this feature but Stephen Hickman's cover has prompted me to break that habit.

This month's main story seems to be a mammoth 50-pager from Larry Hama and Rudy Nebres in which a trip to the Pictish wilderness sees Conan encounter a healer and a child who can help him rediscover lost memories.

There's also a 10-page backup in which the barbarian encounters a kingdom whose border can't be crossed without the payment of a sadistic toll.

Yet another striking Sienkiewicz cover heralds the return of the New Mutants.

Not that they ever left us.

Regardless, Sunspot and Magma are kidnapped, leading to Cannonball and Magik setting out to find them.

But the Dazzler soon discovers they've been captured for use in an underground mutant arena!

Despite his return to Earth, the Thing's comic is still going strong and visually referencing that Steve Ditko sequence in which Spidey had to lift a big thing with water dripping around him.

Inside, it's great news for all lovers of leprechauns - as The Thing is granted three wishes by them!

I'm going to assume it leads to all sorts of trouble for our hero and those around him.

And I'm going to guess, using my vast intellect and powers of observation, that Doctor Octopus may put in an appearance, this month.

Apparently, his arms are determined to break him out of prison.

Apparently, Spider-Man is out to stop them.

It's one I've picked for the elegance and simplicity of its cover.

When it comes to what happens inside it, Bill Mantlo and Butch Guice weave a thriller in which someone called Domino puts a stop to a mutiny by someone called Logic.

Also, someone called Admiral J'Rel attempts to conceal and protect someone called Pamela and Jim Drake.

But that's not all - because his daughter Raider is in jail and awaiting execution!

I'm going to guess that's her on the cover.

The name of the rat is, as yet, unknown to me.

It only seems like five minutes since the first Secret Wars ended - and here they are again, already having another one.

Anyway, it seems that, this time, the Beyonder shows up on Earth, in search of knowledge and experience.

Needless to say, this sends the planet's heroes rushing to action stations.

Rushing to such a degree that they leap into action against someone called Thundersword, who they think is the Beyonder but isn't.

I can only hope Thundersword sues them.

What on Earth's happening now?

We're getting a story called The Big Sleep, written and drawn by Rick Veitch.

Apart from that, I can reveal nothing of this mag or of its contents, other than to declare that it will run for six issues.

Who's this getting a brand new book of his own?

It's Dreadstar!

Except. as that cover might hint, it's not that brand new.

In fact, it's a reprint from 1982's Dreadstar #1 in which Oedi's origin is recapped, as Dreadstar and his gang set out to steal a big satellite.

Someone at Marvel continues to love Cloak and Dagger. And so it is that they get a brand new comic!

As far as I can make out, this month, our tortured thwarters of depravity take down a porn shop that's employing slave labour.

On top of even that, Dagger decides to visit her birth mother, after receiving information about something or other from someone called Father Delgado.

July 12th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Has any man ever been drowned by a water bed?

More to the point, has any man ever been drowned by a pillow?

If there's one man who has, it's probably Johnny Nash.

That's because no man's pillow is more drenched in tears than his.

You guessed it, this is my way of building up to announcing that, this week in 1975, the man himself hit the top of the UK singles chart, thanks to his smash hit Tears On My Pillow.

Over on the parallel album chart, top spot was retained by none other than the Carpenters and their platter that shattered; Horizon.

Tears On My Pillow is an appealing song but there were other tracks I also approved of on that week's UK Hit Parade. Among them were:

Misty - Ray Stevens

I'm Not in Love - 10cc

Give a Little Love - the Bay City Rollers

Whispering Grass - Windsor Davies and Don Estelle

Listen to What the Man Said - Wings

and

Someone Saved My Life Tonight - Elton John.

Should one wish to peruse the matter in greater depth, that UK singles chart can be found here.

While the adjacent LP rankings dwell herewithin.

Now what's Spidey supposed to do? While he's been pining over Gwen Stacy, the Beetle's only gone and kidnapped Aunt May!

I suggest that what he can do is fling the villain into a swimming pool and hope Aunt May doesn't decide to get engaged to him.

Meanwhile, Tony Stark has plenty to worry about, as well, because the Crusher intends to live up to his name when it comes to how he deals with Iron Man.

Not only that but Happy and Pepper have decided to get married!

To each other!

And I do believe this may be the issue in which Don Blake discovers he never existed and Odin just made him up, to teach Thor a lesson!

Can it be true?

Yes it can!

Because you The Reader demanded it, Conan's book's been cancelled!

And merged with The Avengers!

Granted, that might not be quite what's happened but I'm sure that's how it'll be marketed by a cunning editor.

Needless to say, as someone who never got his hands on a single issue of the weekly Conan comic, this is good news for 11-year-old-me, as it means I can now get a weekly fix of Barry Smith's artwork, on top of all the other treasures this publication can offer.

And the issue kicks off in fine style with Conan on a ship, prepping for the siege of Makkalet in which a bid shall be made to steal back the Living Tarim from its denizens.

Elsewhere, the Avengers are in space, with gangster Barney Barton, looking to bring the knuckles of justice to the faces of Egghead, the Mad Thinker and Puppet Master. One of these characters will be dead by the end of this tale.

And I think we can guess which one.

Even more elsewhere, Shang-Chi's sister's trying to get her brother to join forces with her in her vendetta against their father.

Needless to say, our hero's having none of it.

Its all great stuff, of course but I suppose we should stop to reflect upon the fact that it's the first time Marvel UK's suffered the indignity of having to merge two comics because of poor sales.

Could it be that dark clouds are beginning to lurk upon the horizon?

"Don't count on it, Baldy!"? Are they sure the Hulk now has the mind of Bruce Banner? I don't recall the scientist ever talking like that.

I do, however, believe this signals the not-so-brutish brute is back in the land of Jarella and, possibly, heading for a showdown with himself.

Alicia's finally got to meet the cocoon that contains a being so awesome he can only be referred to as Him!

And the Fantastic Four are finally on the way to doing something about it.

And it's bad news for us all when a brand new villain enters the life of Daredevil

And that villain's called the Jester.

And his main weapon is a yo-yo.

And he bears no spiritual resemblance at all to any villains Batman may have ever encountered.

It's the clash that had to happen, when the lord of vampires meets Marvel's premier werewolf!

And all sorts of stuff's going off in the strip that belongs to Frankenstein's Monster but I don't know just what.

I do know, though, that it involves the criminal organisation ICON and a big robot called the Berserker!

Despite what that cover claims, this is an issue in which Brent manages to flee Ape City, not one in which he forces his way into it

It's also the instalment in which he finally discovers he's still on Earth, thanks to finding himself in the underground ruins of somewhere famous in New York that featured in Hello Dolly.

On the same planet but in the distant past, Sinbad finally completes his mission to defeat Tom Baker and restore a Vizier to full facial health. 

Adam Warlock, meanwhile, is still battling the evil New-Man Apollo who's now revealed himself to be a giant, talking warthog!

A beautiful but curiously undramatic John Buscema cover greets us and I believe it heralds the tale in which the Surfer finally manages to find a way through Galactus' space barrier...

...only to discover he's in the future and the universe has been completely ravaged by a charmer called The Overlord.

Following that, the X-Men have a scrap on their hands when their mansion is invaded by the Juggernaut!

Faced with a crisis like this, it seems they're going to need help from the Human Torch!

Forty years ago today - July 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Come, let us descend into the maelstrom and see what awaits us there.

I don't think anything much happens in this one, apart from Thor and Frigga hanging around with some kids, and Sif and Beta Ray Bill hanging around with each other in New York.

Speaking of that city; not for the first time in their lives, the people of it have turned against the Fantastic Four.

And this time, it's the fault of Psycho Man who not only performs that act of vile iniquity but uses his powers to turn the Invisible Woman against the rest of the team!

It's not just Thor who's hanging around with kids, this month.

So are our favourite mutants, in the X-Men/Power Pack crossover I'm sure someone somewhere must have dreamt of.

Anyway, for reasons I don't recall, the Power Packsters' parents forget who they are and this leads the youngsters into the clutches of the Morlocks beneath the streets of New York.

Surely, only the X-Men can rescue them now!

It's the return we've all prayed for, as the Rocket Racer is back! He just needs to commit one last job to pay his family's debts.

The only problem is there's a bounty hunter out to get him.

I'm struggling to recall just what happens in this one. I think the Hulk and a trio of odd little creatures are stuck in a desert while, for the first time in ages, the green one starts to show some signs of intelligence.

Nomad decides to get a job but his first day at work is interrupted by a villain called Madcap who literally can't be hurt and causes nothing but chaos wherever he goes.

Terminus is also causing no end of chaos. And he's doing it in the Savage Land. He can, however, be hurt, as he discovers when he encounters the fists of Hercules.

Meanwhile, in space, Captain Marvel has an eventful day, as she - and - we meet Nebula for the first time.

It's not a great evening for Matt Murdock - nor for Heather Glenn who kills herself when he rejects her.

Meanwhile, it turns out her apartment was robbed shortly after that, and the Man Without Fear sets out to bring the crooks to justice.

The barbarian takes on a tribe of Picts who are not noticeably Scottish and have kidnapped the father of the latest distressed damsel Conan's decided to come to the rescue of.

I think we've all wondered what would happen if Marvel's various amphibian-based villains battled each other and, this month, we get a partial answer, as the Toad and Frog-Man get jealous of each other's, "friendship," with Spider-Man.

It can only mean a scrap between the pair. One that's then joined by Spider-Kid.

Happily, by the tale's end, the trio are all friends and have decided to form a brand new super-team together.

How many Iron Men does one story need?

Seemingly, three because that's what we get when when the armour Rhodey abandoned in last issue's strange dimension is possessed by something called Omnos who comes to Earth, looking to return it to its rightful owner.

Elsewhere, Dr Demonicus gets his hands on another discarded suit of Iron Man's armour and then gets into a fight with Omnos.

Needless to say, all this unauthorised Shellhead action leads Tony Stark to don another suit of armour, in a bid to sort it all out.