2000 AD - April 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Sheryl Crow once sang that a change would do you good.

That shows how much she knew.

After all, Coca-Cola tried a change in April 1985 and it did the company no good at all.

It's true. That was the month in which the company infamously changed its long-standing formula and unleashed the triumph that was New Coke.

Sadly, public response was so overwhelmingly negative that the original formula was back on the shelves less than three months later.

Also on the market, that April, were werewolves.

At least, they were lurking in your local cinema which, granted, is not technically a market. It's more of a theatre. However, that theatre was filled with the twin delights of Ladyhawke and The Company of Wolves, both of which featured thrills of the lycanthropic kind.

At least, I think they did, as I always get Ladyhawke mixed up with Hawk the Slayer. So, I could be wrong.

Then again, I get Hawk the Slayer mixed up with Beastmaster.

Over on the UK singles chart, it was not werewolves but people called Phil, Philip or Phyllis who ruled the roost, with the early month dominated by Philip Bailey and Phil Collins'  Easy Lover which was soon dethroned by USA For Africa's We Are the World which then lost its crown to Move Closer by Phyllis Nelson.

Amazingly, despite its eight million contributors, there was no one called Phil, Philip or Phyllis on We Are the World - although it did contain the keyboard player Greg Phillinganes.

On the British album chart, there was no such churn, with only one record holding the top spot during the month. And that LP was Hits 2 by those indomitable Various Artists.

But what of the galaxy's greatest comic?

It was giving us the familiar diet of The Ballad of Halo Jones, Sláine, Judge Dredd, Rogue Trooper and The Hell Trekkers.

However, Prog 412 hit us with big news by revealing that Whoopee was merging with Whizzer and Chips. And, with that news, a small part of my childhood died.

But, hooray, my inner child has been revived by the discovery that Prog 415 came with a free set of six Masters of the Universe stickers!

I have the power indeed.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - May 1983.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

There was only one game in town, this month in 1983.

And that was a thing called Return of the Jedi.

How we loved that unforgettable combination of slugs, bikinis, mayhem and teddy bears.

And, with the deaths of Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine, it wrapped up the Star Wars saga forever, meaning we'd never need another movie from that franchise, ever again.

But you know what we would need?

Comics.

Especially not overly popular ones...

The Fantastic Four get their 17th annual and I don't have a clue what happens in it. But I do know it features the very first appearance of Barney White!

I don't have a clue who Barney White is.

I like to think he's the husband of Betty White, meaning we have a triptych of famous Barneys and Bettys, made up of the Rubbles, the Hills and, now, the Whites.

At bloody last! Kull gets his very own comic!

Hold on. Didn't he already have his own comic?

And wasn't that also called Kull the Conqueror?

And wasn't there an issue of it published last month?

I don't have a clue what's going on with that but I do know our Antediluvian action man finds himself in rocky waters and up against the Eye of the Tigress.

But forget all of that. This is what we've all been praying for - a comic book adaptation of James Bond's greatest adventure Octopussy!

But which film's Octopussy? Is that the one with the Russian general who steals an atom bomb and plans to use it?

The one in which our hero must dress up as a clown, in order to save the world?

Speaking of Return of the Jedi, Marvel wastes no time in giving us its very own take on the tale, as delivered by Archie Goodwin, Al Williamson and Carlos Garzón.

And another brand new comic sends our spinner racks into a spin, as Super-Villains Classics gives us the origin of no lesser character than Galactus.

It would appear to be faithful to the version first given us in Thor's mag, all those years ago, even including artwork by Jack Kirby, although with new panels supplied by John Byrne.

At last, we get the saga of Crystar the Crystal Warrior!

You guessed it; I don't have the Scoobiest who Crystar is, or what use a warrior made of crystal would be to anyone.

According to the Grand Comics Database, this is what happens:

Zardeth delivers a prophecy to the kingdom of Crystallium, which leads to a split between the princes Crystar and Moltar.

To save Cystar from death, a wizard sends him into the Prisma-Crystal, where he emerges as a warrior of crystal.

To save Moltar from the magical crystal rain, Zardeth sends him into lava, where he emerges as a man of hardened lava.

The transformed pair, thus, begin to battle for the right to rule!

Don't even begin to ask me what this thing is.

All I can say is it's brought to us by Al Milgrom and Herb Trimpe and its tale inside is called U.S.1, Comin' at Ya!

Also, that its central character goes by the unlikely handle Ulysses Solomon Archer.

May 12th, 1973 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Stability was the order of the day, this week in 1973, when it came to the music charts.

After all, still atop the singles mountain were Tony Orlando and Dawn with Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree, while, top of the album woodpile was David Bowie's Aladdin Sane which was successfully holding off the twin challenge of the Beatles' Red and Blue albums.

I have mixed feelings about Mr Orlando's single but these are the 45s I did approve of on that week's chart:

See My Baby Jive - Wizzard

Giving It All Away - Roger Daltrey

Brother Louie - Hot Chocolate

Walk on The Wild Side - Lou Reed

Cum On Feel the Noize - Slade

and 

Whatever Happened to You? by Highly Likely which turns out to have been the theme tune from Whatever Happened to The Likely Lads? Making it, surely, the best theme tune ever possessed by a British sitcom.

Should you wish to peruse the issue further, that week's UK singles chart may be found here.

While the corresponding LP chart resides right here.

It's the clash that had to happen!

And it happens because Hercules has his sights set on Hollywood. When his train to the capitol of cinema's stopped by the Hulk, there's only going to be one outcome. And that outcome involves knuckle sandwiches.

But, next, we get an oddity. As mentioned in last week's post, Daredevil's been banished from the pages of Marvel's flagship title. But what none of us was likely to have foreseen is that, for one week only, his strip's replaced by a tale called The Sub-Mariner Must Be Stopped! in which the Thing and Human Torch discover Namor is heading towards New York and decide to stop him.

And they do stop him. But that's when they're told he was heading for New York to take part in peace talks - and, by attacking him, the dynamic dunderheads have sunk the chances of those ever happening.

We finish this issue with The Micro-World of Doctor Doom! in which our heroes have been reduced to microscopic size and must now suffer the indignity of having to be rescued by Ant-Man.

And it's yet more trouble for the Human Torch, as he's kidnapped by Sandman and the Enforcers. And, now, only Spider-Man can save him.

Elsewhere, an evil scientist forces Don Blake to help him with a duplicating machine which then replicates Thor. Fortunately, it can't copy his enchanted hammer and thus is that villain undone.

And there's more.

But what is the more in question?

I don't have a clue but I do know that, according to the cover, we'll get, inside, a special message from Stan Lee!

Forty years ago today - May 1983.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Yet another bank holiday's come and gone.

And that means it's my duty to, once more, press my nose to the time grindstone and discover just what Marvel can offer us that had a cover date of exactly 40 years ago.

That awesome basket of menacing malevolence Plant-Man manages to take over SHIELD, thanks to his plant replicas of its agents. Needless to say, the Avengers are soon on hand to dispose of such vegetabletastic villainy.

After all these years, Conan gets a comedy episode, as, on a drunken night out, he ends up helping a trio of sex-starved witches to achieve something or other before they return to their own dimension.

Does Cap never learn? After the disasters that were his alliances with the original Bucky and then Rick Jones, he now decides it's a good idea to team up with the 1950s Bucky who's out to turn over a new leaf and not be a psycho anymore.

Elsewhere, Spider-Woman discovers Viper's not really her mother.

Not that it does Cap and Bucky any good. After barely any time at all together, they're captured by the Constrictor.

The FF are still in the Negative Zone and find themselves in a tale called The Minds of Mantracora, a title that must have been inspired by the Doctor Who story The Masque of Mandragora. I may believe in coincidence but I certainly don't trust it.

Regardless, Reed has his psyche sucked out of his head and used to power the bad guy's spaceship.

I'm not totally sure but I think the Hulk and his chums spend an entire issue laying siege to the Leader's giant, hidden space base.

Only to find out he's not there.

With Tony Stark too drunk to do anything, Rhodey has no choice but to don the Iron Man armour and battle the deadly attack of Magma who's out to destroy Stark's factory.

Fortunately, Rhodey then discovers he has help from an unlikely source. None other than Iron Man's deadliest enemy.

The Black Cat remains in hospital - and Doc Ock's out to kill her!

Can our hero possibly stop him?

Thor continues to battle the faith-based zeal of the Crusader - and proves startlingly ineffectual when confronted, for once, with someone who can actually hurt him. Fortunately, Odin gives him a good pep talk and then it's business as usual.

The X-Men have to travel into the world beneath New York, after the mutant gang known as The Morlocks captures the Angel.

And he's not the only one with problems, because a disease-stricken Kitty's abducted by her weirdo subterranean stalker Caliban.

The Vulture's back in town and out for revenge against some bloke or other.

When a notorious but repentant crimelord is dying, Daredevil sets out to protect him from the murderous intents of the Amish-like community that spawned him.

And this is my pick for Cover of the Month.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - May 1973.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Tension was the only thing that was going to greet you when you entered your local cinema in May 1973. That's because it was the month which saw the release of The Day of the Jackal and Terror in the Wax Museum. I've heard much of the former movie but have never seen it and have never previously even heard of the latter movie.

It's the end of an era. Subby creator Bill Everett was taken ill after finishing just four pages of this issue and died during the month in which it was published. In his absence, the rest of the book was finished by Win Mortimer and Jim Mooney.

As for the story itself, I've a suspicion the villainous Dr Hydro's kidnapping people and turning them into amphibians, the fiend!

It's a momentous moment, as we see the debut of that sad rip-off of Apeslayer, the man the world knows as Killraven!

Can the Zardoz-loving battler possibly hope to end the Martian invasion of his planet? And can he find himself a better tailor, in the process?

In an issue - partially drawn by Neal Adams before he discovered he had other things to do - Killraven wreaks his revenge upon the man he knows as the Keeper but soon discovers it's a hollow victory.

Judo Jim continues to weave his magic, as everyone's favourite Kree captain confronts the power of The Thing.

I don't recall too much else about this one but I suspect Iron Man's old foe the Controller's mixed up in it and working for Thanos.

A brand new mag hits the shelves, as Dracula goes black and white!

I have to say that's not the best cover I've ever seen from Boris Vallejo. The smaller figures are not exactly dynamic, and sticking a realistic human head on a giant bat probably isn't the best idea he's ever had.

Still, inside, we find tales that bear spine-tingling titles like A Poison of the Blood, Suffer Not a Witch..., and, Marvel's tribute to the Cranberries, Zombie!

There's also what appears to be a photo feature called What Can You Say About a Five-Hundred-Year-Old Vampire Who Refuses to Die?

There's also a tale called Fright! and one called To Walk Again in Daylight!

I would argue that's an awful lot for your money but, for a first issue, it contains a surprising amount of reprinted 1950s material.

It's the one we've all been waiting for when Luke Cage travels to Latveria to collect the $200 he's owed by Dr Doom.

Apparently, this issue features an appearance by Medusalith Amaquelin Boltagon. So, there's a thing...

Kull's up against yet more werewolf shenanigans!

Not only that, he's stranded on an unknown island and must confront The Cult of the Leopard and the island's vicious ruler, Dom Vinsala.

I can't imagine the villain in a Conan story ever being called something like Dom Vinsala.

It's the issue that's impossible to say no to, as Where Monsters Dwell is taken over by the legend that is Fin Fang Friends Of Ol' Marvel.

In it, a Taiwanese historian's scorned by his father for refusing to join the army. So, he decides to work smart and not hard and awakens the famous dragon. He then uses it to wreck a foreign invasion before returning it to its mystical slumber.

But hold on! That's not all we get! We also get a pair of tales titled Haunted! and The Clutching Hands!

A trilogy of terror awaits us with issue #1 of Worlds Unknown.

Those tales are:

The Day after the Day the Martians Came,

Nightmare at Noon,

and

He That Hath Wings.

I remember two of those tales turning up in Marvel UK's Planet of the Apes comic.

Nightmare at Noon, however, rings no bells for me.

Tragedy smashes the world of the American comic book in the face, as Night Nurse hits its last issue, after just four appearances.

And it does so by unleashing The Secret of Sea-Cliff Manor!

In it, our misfortune-dogged heroine takes a job caring for the wheelchair-bound Derek. Much peril unrolls before we discover Derek can walk - and is involved in drug smuggling!

I still live for the day that Night Nurse teams up with Lady Cop for an adventure.

May 5th, 1973 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

I've often been accused of having an attitude problem but never an altitude problem.

Which is great because altitude was very much de rigueur, this week in 1973.

For a start, it was the week in which Chicago's Sears Tower topped-out, making it the world's tallest building, at 1,451 feet or 442 m.

Elsewhere, that week, Shambu Tamang became the youngest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest.

That's two kinds of summit but what of the lofty reaches of the UK singles chart?

There was no change, on that score, with Tony Orlando's Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree still hogging the pinnacle.

There was, however, change atop the British album chart, with David Bowie's Aladdin Sane crashing straight onto that listing at Number One.

I do detect Rich Buckler's first cover for Mighty World of Marvel. It is, however, destined to not be his last.

Inside, the Hulk returns from the future and is promptly captured by the military.

And Bruce Banner's replacement at Gamma Base plans to use the power of the world's mightiest mortal to fuel his bid for world domination!

Rather less ambitiously, Daredevil's still battling Mr Fear and his fiendish friends.

And the Fantastic Four are still combatting the Mad Thinker and his awesome android.

Apparently, if the cover's to be believed, there's incredible news for Hulk fans, though, frankly, I don't have a clue what that news is.

Actually, I do have a clue but I think we'll have to wait a couple of issues before it'll become clear.

I can say, though, that this is Daredevil's final appearance for a long time, meaning his strip lasted a whole eleven issues before being dumped.

And I do detect Rich Buckler's first cover for Spider-Man Comics Weekly.

With the entire city thinking him a coward, our hero flees from the Sandman and contemplates the abandonment of super-heroics, in order to pursue a normal life.

Elsewhere, Loki uses his magic to cause Thor's hammer to hit his head, turning him evil, and the duo terrorise us all until the other Asgardians contrive another blow to his head, which reverses the change.

Sounds like a classic.

But what's this? According to the cover, Spidey and Thor have exciting news for me? And I must confess that, this time, I really don't have a clue what it is.

Fifty years ago today - May 1973.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Even as I type this deathly prose, it's May Day.

But just which of our favourite Marvel heroes will be demanding the assistance that is its namesake?

The Avengers will - because most of them are under the spell of Magneto's new-found mind-control powers!

But not to fret because Daredevil and the Black Widow are about to show up and save the day!

An event that leads to the Widow finally becoming an official member of the team.

Hooray! The Living Tarim turns out to be dead and Conan brings an end to the war he seems to have been fighting for centuries now.

I don't have a clue what happens in this one but Dr Faustus is present. Therefore, I can only conclude that devious mind games must be involved.

For those wondering how DD and the Widow come to be in this month's Avengers, here's where we get our answer, as Hawkeye shows up in this mag and fights our hero for the hand of the Widow, causing the book's two stars to be dragged into the super-team's latest crisis.

It's the return of everyone's favourite man-dragon!

I've no idea what happens in this one but it does remind me of my long-standing query about where Marvel's giant monsters get their underpants from.

Thunderbolt Ross and the Hulk are captured by the Gremlin who's out to test the Hulk, so he can incorporate any lessons learnt into his lackeys' Super-Trooper suits.

Happily, the Hulk escapes but, being the absent-minded silly Billy that he is, leaves Ross behind!

In Lee and Buscema's How To Draw Comics The Marvel Way, there's a panel showing a monster stiffly smashing through a wall, with a warning that that's not how to draw someone smashing through a wall. I don't like to be critical but Iron Man on this cover is drawn remarkably like the figure in that panel.

Upon the story inside, I cannot comment, as I cannot remember it.

We're still in Canada, and the Hulk continues to smash his way through Montreal, and its geodesic dome that's become a near-legend on Steve Does Comics.

Ulik gets himself a cross between a tank and a bulldozer and decides it's time to invade the planet Earth!

Perhaps more significantly, it seems that Balder has gone completely mad.

But that's enough of Marvel. What will we find if we peruse a random sample of what its main rival was publishing that bore the same cover date?

We'll find yet another issue of Adventure Comics that lacks a permanent headline act.

This time, in our first yarn, someone called Mr Carter relates his unusual adventures in order to be inaugurated into the Adventurer's Club.

Next, when an actor's framed for a murder, the Vigilante gets involved.

And, finally, Captain Fear lands himself seven pages of action.

Gasp with shock, as the Justice League gets a brand new official member!

Could it be Snapper Carr, at last?

No.

As far as I can make out, it's the Elongated Man, although the Red Tornado appears to also be in this tale despite not making the cover.

Secret Oranges returns to present to us with the very beginnings of Supergirl, the Green Lantern and the Atom.

That's a jam-packed cover from Howard Chaykin, while, inside, Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser must battle the thieves of Lankhmar to capture a jewelled skull.

Our main story, this month, is called Deathknell in which John Carter falls victim to an evil sorceress.

But that's not all. We also get a yarn adapted from At the Earth's Core in which David fights Jubal the Ugly One for his beloved Dian.

In my head, all I'm seeing, right now, is Doug McClure.