Speak Your Brain! Part 55. Buyer's Remorse.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

As I've scanned the internet, of late, I've noticed there's been much talk of UFOs, UAPs whistleblowers and back-engineering. Is there anything to it? Or is it all hogwash and balderdash? 

I cannot say. For, truly, it is one of the great mysteries of our time.

But there is another mystery. An even greater one. 

And that's what will the topic be for today's Speak Your Brain?

It could be anything. That's the whole point. Whoever makes the first comment gets to decide how the conversation goes. And that comment merely needs to be made in the box below.

Therefore, be sure to make that comment and propel this site into a whole new cosmos of discourse.

2000 AD - May 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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If you were intrepid enough to enter your local cinema in May 1985, you'd need to be ready for action because it was a month which saw the escape of both Rambo: First Blood Part II and A View to a Kill.

I don't think I've ever seen Rambo: First Blood Part II and, so, I shall vote for A View to a Kill as my favourite of those two movies.

I don't have a clue what my favourite song was in that year's Eurovision Song Contest but I do know the event was the 30th ever staged and took place in Sweden's Gothenburg.

But it wasn't the host nation that won. Instead, triumph favoured its neighbour Norway, thanks to Bobbysocks's legendary track La Det Swinge.

But it was a far darker month for football fans. One which saw two major disasters at European stadiums. 

The first was down to the fire which engulfed a stand at Valley Parade in Bradford and left 56 dead.

The second was down to fighting in Belgium's Heysel Stadium, at the European Cup final between Liverpool and Juventus, which left 39 dead.

Just when it seemed the month couldn't get worse, a few days later, the scientists of the British Antarctic Survey announced the discovery of a hole in the ozone layer.

On the UK singles chart, it seemed there was only one song in town - and that was Paul Hardcaste's Vietnam-inspired 19 which spent the whole month at Number One; seeing off the likes of Duran Duran, along the way. 

Over on the British album chart, those inescapable Various Artists kicked off May at Number One, with their latest platter HITS 2.

But even they then had to make way, as Dire Straits' juggernaut of an LP Brothers in Arms smashed straight in at Number One. It would, of course, go on, at one point, to be the biggest-selling album in British history.

But what of the galaxy's greatest comic?

As so often, it was offering us a diet of Sláine, Judge Dredd, Rogue Trooper and Strontium Dog.

But something had changed, as we saw the launch of a serial in which PSI Division's Judge Anderson must tackle the return of the Dark Judges in a strip that seems to have replaced The Ballad of Halo Jones.

But who cared about that? What really mattered was that, thanks to Prog 416, we could win the Commodore 64 computer and Valiant Robo-Turtle we'd always wanted to win!

June 16th, 1973 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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Make a stand for your man, honey. Try to can the can.

No. I don't have a clue what that means.

But I don't need to.

Suzi Quatro needs to.

And it seems she does because her 45 featuring those very words hit the top spot on the UK singles chart, this week in 1973.

Of course, that song also features the lines:

Well, you call your mama, "Tiger,"

And we all know you are lying.

And your boyfriend's name is Eagle,

And he lives up in the sky.

Words to make us all stop and think, I'm sure.

Sadly, Suzi's dominance of the singles chart wasn't, that week, replicated on the associated album chart. For, as it turned out, the Number One spot on that was held by Various Artists' Pure Gold.

The Boomerang on that cover looks suspiciously like he's been swiped from a Gil Kane panel but the cover's by Rich Buckler and I find it hard to believe Rich would ever dream of swiping anything.

As we might suspect, in our opening tale, that villain is back and, now that they've realised the Hulk's not a true villain, the President tells Thunderbolt Ross to pardon him.

Of course, the Boomerang picks that exact moment to annoy our hero, causing him to go on the rampage - leading Ross to once again see him as a menace.

Just to prove Ross right; in our second tale, the Stranger arrives on Earth and decides to use the Hulk to wipe out humanity!

And, speaking of wanting to wipe out humanity, in the Fantastic Four's tale, the Sub-Mariner's found Atlantis in ruins and decided this is a great time to gain vengeance upon the surface-dwellers.

It's the return of the greatest super-hero comic magazine of all!

At least, that's what the boast on the cover says.

Unless I miss my guess, this is the one in which Spider-Man thinks he's going mad and decides to visit a psychiatrist - only for his screws to become even more loosened.

Or has it?

I detect a trick by that foul supremo of special effects the world knows as Mysterio.

Thor, meanwhile, is still fighting the sinister Mr Hyde who still wants to kill Don Blake for not giving him a job.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - June 1983.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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It's June 1983 and you're going to be spending a lot of time in the cinema.

That's because it's a month that sees the release of virtually every film you associate with the 1980s. The cinematic onslaught includes The Man with Two Brains, Psycho II, WarGames, Trading Places, Octopussy, Superman III and Twilight Zone: The Movie.

It's a terrible admission but I'd have to say that, of those, Octopussy is probably my favourite. Not that I have a high regard for the thing. It doesn't even have a theme tune anyone can remember. It's just that I prefer it to those other films.

Not many of the series Marvel launched in the early 1970s hung around for very long but Shang-Chi's certainly did, lasting for a good decade before its demise.

That's an even more remarkable feat when it's remembered the character was created purely to cash in on a fashionable craze.

But, at last, even the Rising Spirit has to run aground and so it is that this is his final issue.

Does he go out in style?

I don't remember but I do know it's a book with 52 pages. So, I assume there's plenty going on in it.

I'm assuming that cover's a tribute to John Romita's legendary panel from Amazing Spider-Man #50. If so, the lack of a dustbin seems an egregious oversight.

I'm not sure I've ever managed to sit all the way through the movie but I might have more luck with the comic, as the power and majesty of Krull hits a spinner rack near you.

But what's this? It's not just Shang-Chi who's hit the buffers? So has The Thing, as Marvel Two-In-One celebrates its hundredth issue by, erm, being cancelled.

Yet again, we get 52 action-packed pages. This time, the Thing travels to an alternate reality where he cured his other self - only to find it's been taken over by the Red Skull and his Nazi hordes!

And it's another book with 52 pages.

But, this time, there's no cancellation in sight.

What there is is the question of what would happen if Thor battled Conan.

I think all common sense suggests Thor would flatten the barbarian in less than a second but this is a Marvel mag. So, I've no doubt it'll somehow be contrived to be a draw.

It'll probably involve Conan having a magic sword or an amulet, or something.

Anything Shang-Chi and the Thing can do, Spider-Woman can equal!

And so it is that her book too gets cancelled this month.

Sadly, all I know about the contents is there are 52 pages and the tale inside is called Lifeline.

I'm not convinced that's what you could call a good cover by Bob Larkin and Eliot Brown but it's certainly one you can't fail to notice.

Howard Chaykin gives us a dynamic cover, while, inside, Marion opens a club called The Raven's Nest.

However, after numerous, "accidents," there, it becomes clear that someone's out to kill her.

But who?

Who?

Celebrate, humans! Not only has Rom's mag not been cancelled, this month but it has a new lease of life, with our hero being, at last, freed from his armour!

But will this piece of luck last?

Of course it won't. Barely has it arrived than his new body begins to deteriorate.

Meanwhile, Quasimodo possesses Rom's empty armour and launches into battle with the Wraiths he's, until now, been allied with.

Forty years ago today - June 1983.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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As the temperatures outside soar, let us, instead, plunge.

Plunge into the icy depths that are The Past.

It's thrilling news for us all, as Eros joins the Avengers and, at the same time, changes his name to Starfox!

Other than that, I'm struggling to recall what happens in this one. Is there a boat involved?

I do believe Conan sets off in search of old flame Pelija Lon but, when he finds her, she's been mesmerised into acting as a high priestess by a villainess who wants to unleash the vile hordes of Set's underground kingdom upon the world.

Needless to say, it's going to take more than the underground hordes of Set to prevent everyone's favourite brawler from getting his leg over.

In the rooms and corridors of the Baxter Building, Alicia confronts her captor Annihilus who's not feeling too well.

Meanwhile, in the Negative Zone, the Fantastic Four free Reed's captured psyche from the clutches of Taranith Gelstal who's been using it to power his spaceship.

In a saga that seems to be going on forever, Doc Ock's still out to kill the Black Cat who's still hospitalised.

Fortunately, Spider-Man's on hand to put a stop to his deadly plans.

When mayoral lackey Tarkington Brown discovers he has just weeks to live, he recruits a bunch of cops to form a criminal-killing murder squad.

That might sound like trouble but that trouble gets even worse when a drunk Heather Glenn tells him that Matt Murdock is Daredevil!

But, hold on. Didn't a drug-addicted Karen Page also once tell someone that Matt is Daredevil? I'm starting to spot a pattern here.

Below the streets of New York, Storm reveals what a badbottom she is by beating Callisto in a knife fight, to become leader of the Morlocks.

Above ground, Scott and Maddie begin their romance, despite - or possibly because of - her uncanny resemblance to Jean Grey.

And, somewhere else altogether, Rogue abandons the care of Mystique and sets off in search of the X-Men.

Jane Foster's gone missing - and Don Blake is prime suspect Number One.

Elsewhere, Dracula's showed up and decided that what he most needs to drink, in order to raise his power levels, is the blood of a god.

And, fortunately, for him, Sif's around to provide it.

If Sif at no point declares, "A pint? That's very nearly an armful!" I shall be highly disappointed.

With Tony Stark still a raging alcoholic, Rhodey's having to learn how to use his boss's armour.

And he's having to learn fast because Thunderball's on the loose!

The Leader's still causing major problems for the Hulk and his Avenger buddies but I'm struggling to recall just what those problems are and what his plan is.

The good news is that, after a very lengthy absence, Mary Jane's back in town!

The bad news is the Vulture's back too.

And he's still seeking vengeance upon the man who double-crossed him in his pre-Vulture days.

Cap, captured and drugged by Viper, is perturbed by imaginary visits from his father. 

Having now adopted the guise of Nomad, the 1950s Bucky sets off to rescue our hero but is, instead, flattened by him.

June 9th, 1973 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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Who wants to see my baby jive?

You do?

Well, you can't because she's not jiving. She's too busy, in her bedroom, listening to Wizzard's See My Baby Jive which was Number One on the UK singles chart, this week in 1973.

Over on the British album chart, it was Pure Gold by Various Artists that was ruling the roost.

See My Baby Jive is, of course, a classic but other tracks I approved of on that week's singles chart were:

Can the Can - Suzi Quatro

Albatross {1973} - Fleetwood Mac

Stuck in The Middle with You - Stealers Wheel

Walk On The Wild Side - Lou Reed

Giving It All Away - Roger Daltrey

Brother Louie - Hot Chocolate

and

Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney and Wings

Should you wish to pursue the matter further, that week's UK singles chart can be found here.

While the corresponding LP chart dwells right here.

In our first tale, Bruce Banner's hanging from the Orion missile and heading for the heart of New York City!

Somehow, this all leads to Thunderbolt Ross activating the Leader's most powerful Humanoid of them all!

I do believe this tale features some of the very earliest work John Buscema did for 1960s Marvel.

In fact, I wouldn't be at all shocked if it was his very first. I do remember that his art in this yarn lacks the dynamism and self-confidence we later came to take for granted.

In our second tale, the Boomerang's back!

Well, I suppose he would come back. He is, after all, called the Boomerang.

Meanwhile, in the Fantastic Four's tale, the Sub-Mariner locates what little remains of his undersea realm and, fueled by a desire for vengeance, plans a new attack against the surface world.

It can only be trouble when the Green Goblin tries to take over Lucky Lobo's gang. And it turns out to be trouble for Lucky's gang when Spider-Man puts the lot of them in jail.

Elsewhere, having been refused a job by Dr Don Blake, Calvin Zabo becomes Mister Hyde and sets out to gain retribution!

The Marvel Lucky Bag - June 1973.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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You couldn't accuse June 1973 of short-changing you when you entered a cinema.

It was, after all, a month that saw the release of such masterpieces as Cannibal Girls, Battle for the Planet of the Apes, The Legend of Hell House, Shaft in Africa and Live and Let Die. Who wouldn't want to hand over their money for those tickets?

Granted, not all those films, or even most of them, are that great but who cares about that? Just look at their titles.

The Cat's comic meets its demise and does so with her meeting the Man-Bull.

Come to think of it, in her second issue, she met the Owl, suggesting her comic was a dumping ground for old Daredevil villains.

Then again, her first issue was drawn by former DD artist Wally Wood. Just what was behind Marvel's determination to link the two comics at every opportunity?

As well as the Cat's latest adventure, we also, for some reason, get a reprint of the Linda Fite/Werner Roth X-Men five-pager about Marvel Girl and her powers.

Gil Kane gives us, perhaps, the most Gil Kane cover of all time.

Other than that, all I can say about this comic is the story within is an adaptation of Lester Dent's Monsters.

And all I know about this one is that Luke Cage finds himself up against a man called Mr Death.

A brand new mag hits us in the eyeballs, as Monsters Unleashed is indeed unleashed.

And it unleashes The Man Who Cried Werewolf!, The Thing In the Freezer, Vampire Tale, Skulls In the Stars, Portrait of the Werewolf As A Young Man: The Odyssey of Larry Talbot,  One Foot in the Grave, The Fake! and World of Warlocks! Around half of which are elderly reprints.

The Cat's mag may have reached its doom but Shanna's is still going strong.

Admittedly, it's not that strong, as next month will see its demise as well.

Still, it's here, for now, and, other than Mandrill being in this tale, I can offer little in the way of a plot description.

It's one of my Ka-Zar faves, as, despite the presence of Gog, the jungle lord manages to liberate the super-soldier serum from Gemini.

But then, Professor Victor Conrad drinks it and finds himself transformed into the villainous Victorius.

It's another one whose contents I've little memory of but I do know that Snakedance and Linda Littletrees are involved.

As far as I can recall, Dr Hydro's transformed a bunch of surface dwellers into amphibians and, doubtless, intends to use them for malicious maraudings.

Fortunately, Subby and Nita are on hand to thwart his ghastly plans.