Fifty years ago today - August 1973.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Good grief. Is it fifty years ago already? It only seems like ten minutes since it was forty years ago.

But what treachery is this? The supposedly reformed Swordsman and his girlfriend Mantis helping the Lion God invade the Avengers Mansion?

Fortunately, it's all a ruse by the duo and, with their help, the feline fiend's soon sent packing to the Great Cat Sanctuary in the Sky.

Unless I miss my lycanthropic guess, the Falcon's turned into a werewolf!

One who retains his normal hair, despite having turned into a werewolf.

But does this mean Redwing's been turned into a wolf-bird?

I've never read this one but I gather Conan joins the Turanian army of King Yildiz.

And I've no doubt it all leads to him having to rescue a wench from a sorcerer.

The Stilt-Man arrives on the west coast where Daredevil and the Black Widow have to prevent him from using a molecular condenser to knock California into the sea.

I can shed little light upon the contents of this one, other than to say the Shaper of Worlds is involved.

And, seemingly, a giant gorilla with a sea mine for a head.

As for the cover, I'm assuming it's a tribute to the front of Fantastic Four issue #1.

It's one of my faves, as Zzzaxx makes his debut and Hawkeye tries to prove he can succeed without the Avengers.

And he does succeed.

Only for everyone to give the credit to the Hulk instead.

Believe it or not, Iron Man's actually managing to have trouble defeating the Masked Marauder.

Which is bad news, as the villain's threatening to nuke Detroit.

Sweet Mother of Christmas, and other words to that effect. It's one of my fondest-remembered Spidey tales, as our hero must battle Luke Cage who's been hired by J Jonah Jameson.

This is all due to Jameson's belief that Spidey killed his friend Norman Osborn.

In his latest space-bound quest to find missing Asgardians, Thor's up against Mercurio - who, like Baked Alaska, can be hot and cold at the same time.

During all this, our hero discovers Sif and Karnilla are trapped within a giant crystal and unwillingly providing it with the energy it needs to thrive.

Banshee seeks the X-Men's help against a mysterious spider creature but, when they bump into Spider-Man, the not-so-bright mutants assume he's their foe and set out to give him a knuckle sandwich.

That's Marvel accounted for.

But what of DC? What's the company offering us in a random selection of books which feature the same cover date?

Only the senses-shattering origin of the Black Orchid!

Except it isn't. Despite the cover boast, no origin's revealed in this tale. We don't even get to discover her true identity.

It is, however, her first appearance, although details of the tale elude my memory.

We also get a Dr 13 story in which the not-at-all-Michael-Caine-inspired investigator looks into the death of someone called Mr Randolf.

I've never read this one but it seems that Ben Boxer returns with Renzi and Steve.

Not that I know who Renzi and Steve are.

It's a tale of mechanical horniness when a robot from space decides he wants Tina as his mate - and he's willing to bombard the Earth with as many robots as it takes to get her.

Secret Origins gives us the very beginnings of both Wonder Woman and Wildcat!

As far as I can remember, Wonder Woman's sculpted from clay and brought to life by Hippolyta, while Wildcat isn't. I do believe that boxer Ted Grant kills another man in the ring and adopts the identity of Wildcat in order to clear his name.

It's a memorable cover for a tale in which Swamp Thing's rescued from the sea by Rebecca Ravenwood who's fled her hometown after being accused of witchcraft.

And it's one you can't help but love, as Batman and Superman head off in pursuit of goat-fixated blackmailer Capricorn.

Meanwhile, Metamorpho finds himself entangled in the case of The Haunted Millionaire.

The Joker #1.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

I recently saw a Xeet on Elon Musk's swinging new social media site X which argued that Spider-Man and Batman have the best villains' galleries of any heroes.

To be honest, I wasn't convinced.

Spider-Man clearly has an awesome list of foes but, while Batman has plenty of enemies, I'm not convinced any of them are what you'd call top-notch. Even the Joker seems fairly second-rate when compared to Spidey's best antagonists.

But am I right?

There's only one way to find out.

And that's to look at the comic in which Batman's arch-nemesis gets to have adventures all on his own.

And that comic launches with The Joker #1 from way back in the sunny days of 1975.

Denny O'Neil's tale kicks off when a man called Señor Alvarez helps Two-Face escape from prison but leaves the Joker behind, on the grounds that he only wants the help of a top criminal, and the Joker doesn't qualify.

Not willing to take that snub lying down, the clown prince of crime organises his own escape, with the help of a helium-filled balloon and then sets out to prove he's a better criminal than Two-Face, by attacking his rival's not-so-secret hideout.

Sadly, this all results in him being knocked out and tied to a conveyor belt that's headed for a circular saw.

Thanks to his acid-powered buttonhole, the villain escapes and sets out to thwart Two-Face's plan to steal some old coins from a local museum. This intervention results in the dastardly duo knocking themselves out and being returned to the prison cells in which they belong.

I must be honest and admit I suspect that, even if I'd read this as an eleven-year-old, when it came out, I wouldn't exactly have been grabbed by the tale.

The first thing that strikes me is that, throughout it all, the Joker talks like Lost in Space's Dr Smith on cocaine which gets tiresome very quickly.

Secondly, as drawn by Irv Novick, he's so skinny that it's impossible for him to seem threatening in fight scenes. Admittedly, that's not totally Novick's fault. As far as I can remember, a pipe cleaner physique was bestowed upon the villain by all artists during this period. But I would say this issue takes the trend too far.

But the yarn's fatal flaw is that neither crook comes across as a master villain. They just come across as silly and so hamstrung by their own gimmicks that they become ineffectual; metaphorically shooting themselves in the foot every chance they get.

This is especially a problem for Two-Face whose insistence on everything he does incorporating the number 2 that it makes his every move totally predictable.

I would assume the two crooks knocking themselves out and being hauled off back to jail is down to the strictures of the Comics Code which doesn't want criminals to be seen getting away with wrongdoing. While that may be ethically admirable - and will, no doubt, protect all of us readers from having our minds warped - it does ultimately make the story feel futile and trivial.

All in all, I feel the whole thing pales when compared to Marvel's early 1970s Dr Doom series, in terms of art, mood, characters and writing. Also, neither of these silly ninnies would last more than two panels against Spider-Man.

That is, however, only my opinion, and others may think otherwise.

Others may think the Joker and Two-Face are among the greatest threats ever unleashed upon the comic book world.

They may think this is the greatest comic they've ever read.

If so, they are free to say so, below.

July 28th, 1973 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

There was a time when Gary Glitter was famous purely for being a pop star. And this week in 1973 was one of those times. That's because it was the week the not-at-all glamorous glam rocker hit the top spot on the UK singles chart with I'm the Leader of the Gang (I Am!).

Amazingly, the singer was only in his twenties at the time, despite the widespread perception of him as being wildly superannuated.

Meanwhile, on the British LP chart, the roost was still being ruled by Various Artists' That'll Be the Day.

It's a full-blown 22-page epic, as Subby decides the Hulk's exactly the ally he needs in his war with the surface dwellers.

The trouble is that's the exact moment the Puppet Master decides he knows just what it takes to get revenge on Subby.

And that's a mind-controlled Hulk!

Cue the obligatory punch-up and, surely, the Hulk's greatest story, so far.

Elsewhere, for the eighty billionth time, the Watcher breaks his oath to not interfere, and recruits the Fantastic Four to deal with the valency-violating villainy of the vilely verminous Molecule Man.

And, whatever you do, don't miss Marvel UK's Swap Shop inside!

Public-spirited as ever, J Jonah Jameson offers a $1,000 dollar reward for the capture of the burglar the world knows as the Cat.

Always on the lookout for a quick buck, Spider-Man decides he's going to win himself that reward. But who is the Cat and where can he find him?

Meanwhile, Thor finally disposes of Mr Hyde and the Cobra.

But, when his alter-ego Don Blake returns to the office, he discovers Jane Foster hates him, thanks to his plan for defeating the villains having involved him "betraying" the thunder god she adores.

Speak Your Brain! Part 58. Comics or franchises you gave up on.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

Last week, in this feature, I complained that, from all sides, I was being assailed by rain.

Reader, I am still being assailed by rain.

Will the endless deluge never end?

Clearly, it won't or it wouldn't be endless.

Therefore, I must, once again, take refuge within my domicile and, as water pours down my window panes, look to the internet for entertainment.

But what is that entertainment to be?

That, I do not know. For, it is the return of the feature in which the first person to comment below gets to choose the topic of the day.

Will it deal with past, present or future?

I cannot say.

Will it deal with matters material, vegetable or spiritual?

I cannot say.

Who can say?

You can say!

And you can do it right below!

July 1983 - Marvel UK monthlies, 40 years ago this month.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

When it came to matters meteorological, July 1983 was a month of contrasts.

On the one hand, the lowest temperature ever recorded on Earth was registered at Vostok Station, Antarctica, racking up a bracing −89.2 °C.

On the other hand, the UK was embracing a heatwave, as temperatures reached 33 °C in London.

The hot hits of the time were Rod Stewart's Baby Jane and Paul Young's Wherever I Lay My Hat (That's My Home) which respectively held the Number One spot on the UK singles chart, that month.

On the British album chart, however, the month began with Wham!'s Fantastic gripping the top spot before it was displaced by Yazoo's You And Me Both which then had to make way for The Very Best of the Beach Boys.

It's double trouble in this month's main strip.

For a start, the former Captain UK is having nightmares about the Fury having killed all her friends.

But, also, Captain Britain's attending a kangaroo court where Saturnyne's quickly condemned for her recent failure.

Elsewhere, Steve Moore and Steve Jones consider comics published in Japan, Alan Moore reviews fanzines, and Night-Raven encounters the Snow Queen.

In Daredevil's strip, the Gladiator holds a group of kids hostage in a museum.

And, finally, we get a reprint called Black Sun Rising, taken from the pages of Doctor Who Monthly.

In our main story, Mystique and her mates are out to kill Senator Kelly but Kitty's future self helps the X-Men thwart the plan, therefore changing the future.

As the future's previously consisted of the Sentinels wiping out Mutantkind, this is clearly a good thing.

Or is it...?

In the rest of the mag, Frank Plowright presents his Abbreviated History of the American Comic and the Scarlet Witch and Vision star in a tale called Faith of Our Fathers.

All I know about this one is it presents us with a Patrick Troughton interview and looks back at the contributions of original Master actor Roger Delgado.

There's also a brand new comic strip begins but I don't know what it involves.

Well, this all looks like cause for concern. After all, if the cover's to be believed, inside we see Avon in trouble and Vila close to death!

Beyond that, I can say nothing of this issue's contents other than it seems that, yet again, Paul Darrow writes.

All I can do is hope he writes as melodramatically as he speaks.

And I've drawn a complete blank on the contents of this one. From that cover, it looks like our hero finds himself up against a monster that's 90% man, 10% ant and 110% trouble.

All I know of this one is it features the Return to Stenos and more action from Indiana Jones.

Fortunately, I know more about the contents of this one. 

For instance, I know Britain's greatest sci-fi mag takes a look at brand new movie Videodrome, even if the censors may end up not letting us see it

Inevitably, we get a look at the filming of Return of the Jedi.

And, less inevitably, legendary horror/sci-fi dramatist Nigel Kneale talks about this involvement with John Carpenter's Halloween III.

July 21st, 1973 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Things were livening up in the world of American politics, this week in 1973 because it was the week in which former White House aide Alexander Butterfield told the US Senate's Watergate Committee that President Nixon had secretly recorded potentially incriminating conversations. 

News that was almost as big was happening on the UK singles chart, that week. Because, in a pleasing development for all lovers of musically unchallenging duos, the top spot was suddenly claimed by Welcome Home by Peters and Lee, a pair who've been the subject of much debate on this site in the past couple of weeks.

Me, personally, I've no great opinion on the song, as the only thing I can remember about it is the first line of the chorus. Which is probably not a good sign.

Also, the only things I remember about Peters and Lee themselves are that one of them was a man and one of them was a woman and one of them was blind and one of them wasn't.

Over on the British album chart, that duo were having to settle for second spot, as the Number One position there was still being gripped tight by Various Artists' That'll Be the Day.

For once, we don't get a cover from the likes of Rich Buckler or Jim Starlin.

Instead, we get Mirthful Marie Severin's original cover for the tale within. And what a striking image it is, even if the reproduction here doesn't do it full justice.

Inside, with Thunderbolt Ross's base under control of the Lord of the Living Lightning and the threat of a missile barrage looming, it's down to the Hulk and Glenn Talbot to save the day.

But here's an oddity. Instead of another story from the Severin era, this issue's second Hulk tale is no less an epic than Heaven is a Very Small Place! the Roy Thomas/Herb Trimpe yarn in which our hero's fooled into thinking he's found a town that happily accepts his presence, only for it to all have been a mirage.

Someone at the company was clearly proud of that tale, as I remember Mighty World of Marvel reprinting it on at least two other occasions after this one.

On top of that, this week, we get the second part of the Fantastic Four's first encounter with Rama-Tut.

But all that pales into insignificance beside the news that we have the chance to win £1 week for a year. Which, by my reckoning is £52.

According to the Bank of England's inflation calculator, that's £538.14 in modern money!

By the way, that means this 5 pence issue of Mighty World of Marvel would cost 52 pence at 2023 prices.

Unless I miss my guess, we're getting the tale in which Spider-Man helps Dr Strange tackle the sneaky sorceror Xandu who has the Wand of Watoomb.

In the issue's other masterpiece, if Thor thought he had problems when he had to fight the Cobra and Mr Hyde individually, now he has to fight both of them at the same time.

In all honesty, that really shouldn't be a major problem for him. Even Daredevil managed to beat them - and DD was distracted at the time by trying to figure out if he should marry Karen Page as Matt Murdock or as his own non-existent twin.

But who cares about that? What really matters is that in this mag too we can also win ourselves £1 a week for a year.

Speak Your Brain! Part 57. Which toys did you regret not owning?

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

From all sides, I am assailed by rain.

Truly, I can do nothing but take refuge indoors and look to the internet for entertainment.

But what entertainment will it offer me?

That, I cannot say, as we've hit that fork in the road they who dare speak of it know as Speak Your Brain. It's the fork in which the first person to comment gets to pick the topic of the day.

And who can know what that topic might be?

The Shadow might know.

The Phantom Stranger almost certainly does know.

And, as for Professor X, it's a shoo-in that he knows.

For they are blessed with the power to read the very darkest of men's thoughts.

I, however, am not and must, like any mortal, wait with breath bated to see what transpires.