September 13th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Do you know where I wish I was?

I wish I was here.

Which is good news  - and an incredible coincidence - because I am here.

And you know who else wishes I was here?

Pink Floyd. 

I know that because they said so, on September 12th, 1975, when they released their new LP of a similar name which was, I'm sure, destined to sell a billion-and-onety copies.

And that sounds like a good cue for me to talk about the charts.

And more specifically, the UK singles chart.

In fact, it was a week of little change because not only was Rod Stewart's Sailing still top of the main mast on that Hit Parade, he was also king of the waves on the accompanying album rankings, thanks to his latest vibrant vinyl Atlantic Crossing.

Sailing is, of course, a beautiful song beautifully sung but there other tracks I also approved of on that week's UK singles chart. Among them were:

Moonlighting - Leo Sayer

That's the Way (I Like It) - KC and the Sunshine Band

Pandora's Box - Procol Harum

Fame - David Bowie

If You Think You Know How To Love Me - Smokie

Do It Again - Steely Dan

and

Hold Me Close - David Essex.

Should one wish to investigate the matter further, that week's British singles chart can be found here.

While its parallel album listings dwell within.

Spidey must wish he was somewhere else, as a prison riot breaks out and it's Gil Kane up-the-nose-action-a-go-go.

The good news is it all gets him on television where he can tell the nation about the plight of prisoners and the urgent need for penal reform.

In other matters, Iron Man's trapped on a Maggia casino ship and having to survive an assault by the villain they call Whiplash.

And I do suspect Thor's still having far-flung-future fisticuffs with the fiendish forces of Pluto and is unknowingly heading towards an encounter with Him that'll go on to become Adam Warlock!

Despite that cover, the Avengers do not yet face the Squadron Sinister.

Instead, they're in hospital, visiting Tony Stark after another of his famous heart attacks, when they're accosted by Kang's Growing Man who's out to abduct the helpless arms dealer.

Needless to say, our idols are not going to let that sort of thing happen.

And, so, they all get abducted by the Growing Man!

But, before we reach that story, Conan experiences the second part of The Song of Red Sonja and gets to climb a big tower containing a sinister diadem.

Dr Strange, meanwhile, manages to see off the challenge of the Lovecraftian N'Gabthoth, and it's next stop Stonehenge!

As for the blurb at the top of the front cover, I'm not sure what the Hoardes of Hell are but I can only assume they do a Hell of a lot of hoarding.

It's all high-drama in Draculaville when the lord of the vampires encounters a vampire he can't control.

That vampire being the mysterious Gorna.

I do believe Jack Russell's alter-ego is still at Mallet Studios and combating two horror actors turned vampire.

But, this time, he has the aid of his next-door neighbour!

And the Living Mummy comes under the influence of evil Elementals.

Unless I miss my guess, it's the start of that Tom Sutton drawn tale where there's a bunch of apes living on a gigantic ship. I seem to recall it with fondness though my memories of it are vague.

However, it would appear that an orangutan's killed by a gorilla, causing everything to kick off.

Following that, Captain Marvel must fight the Super-Skrull whose plans are not at all clear to me. I do believe it's in this tale that we first discover the Kree and Skrulls are ancient and bitter enemies. I predict the phrase "Uni-Ray" will feature in this tale.

And, following that, after several weeks' absence, Adam Warlock is back to team up with Counter-Earth's Dr Doom when he encounters The Day of the Death Birds!

There's something very odd about this week's cover, and a great big Steve Does Comics No-Prize goes to the first person who points out what it is.

Admittedly, I'm about to give 50% of the answer away by saying that, within this issue, the Hulk and Rhino inadvertently travel to Counter-Earth where our hero encounters the High Evolutionary's New-Men.

Elsewhere, strangely mirroring our Spider-Man tale, Daredevil breaks out of prison and goes on national TV. In his case, however, he's disguised as the Jester, in order to lure the real villain out into the open.

And the FF are still having trouble with a rampaging Thing.

I can sensationally reveal that, no matter the impression given by this cover, the Silver Surfer is not teaming up with the X-Men to fight the Sentinels and Human Torch.

In fact, it would seem the Surfer's up against the diabolical peril of the Doomsday Man.

Elsewhere, the Brothers Link find themselves by This Badge Bedevilled!

It all happens when Damian Link tries to foil a robbery but he and his twin Joshua become linked by experimental rays which cause Damian to gain super-powers whenever Joshua's energy enters his body. This all sounds suspiciously like it involves that astrological terror the world knows as Gemini.

And, of course, the X-Men are still gamely battling the Sentinels.

Forty years ago today - September 1985.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Let us fling ourselves, once more, into the turgid maelstrom that is our days of yore.

Will this mad perfidy never end? Much to the horror of his friends - and Sif -  Lorelei's used her magic to take control of Thor's mind and get him to swear loyalty to Loki as ruler of Asgard!

Clearly, there's only one person who can do anything to sort this mess out.

And that's Lorelei's big sister; the Enchantress.

The FF aren't happy with Psycho-Man and his recent activities. And, so, they set off to Sub-Atomica to give him the smack in the gob he's been asking for.

The only problem is that, when they find him, he's about ten times their size!

It's a turn-up for the books when Arcade recruits Kitty and Colossus in a bid to prevent Dr Doom from killing him.

But is everything as it seems?

Given that it's Arcade - and Dr Doom is allegedly dead - I think we can take it for granted that nothing is as it seems.

Sadly, I can't recall in what way it isn't as it seems.

Also, robot replicas of the X-Men are involved.

Maybe a robot Dr Doom is also involved.

Maybe a robot Arcade is also involved.

Maybe a robot Kitty and Colossus are also involved.

Maybe I'm a robot too.

I'm too confused to remember.

A tale of non-start thrills concludes, as Spider-Man and the Wasp unite to bring justice to a bunch of criminals who've done something or other in relation to killing union leaders.

Paladin's there too but doesn't seem to be able to make up his mind whose side he's on or whether he's a good guy or a bad guy.

History's made, as Bruce Banner reappears after an absence from the strip of what seems like several billion years.

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like he's going to live long enough to enjoy it.

As far as I can remember, on an alien world, he encounters a brilliant Earth scientist who's taken over the planet and keeps draining its inhabitants of all blood in an attempt to achieve immortality.

Needless to say, Bruce is having none of that nonsense.

And neither is Hulkie-Pops.

Cap takes a backseat when Nomad sets out to bring Madcap to justice. A bid that requires he first makes friends with the unhinged villain and, effectively, become his flatmate.

Deep in the depths of space, Nebula and her crew of pirates are causing so much trouble that the Avengers find themselves having to team up with the Skrulls in a bid to tackle them.

Matt Murdock's female friends are never anything but a burden to him. And, so, when Glorianna O'Breen is kidnapped by refugees from Deliverance, Daredevil and the Black Widow must enter the swamps of somewhere or other to get her back.

As far as I can remember, both DD and Widdy spend the entire issue complaining they don't know how to operate in a swamp and could be killed at any moment by absolutely anything and everything. Which, given their talents, seems a little unlikely.

It's yet more trouble for Conan when he and his friends are attacked by a gang of orphaned children who they, inevitably, then decide to help.

Somehow, this all climaxes with a bunch of people being hanged by someone for something.

Nothing but chaos can come of it when the Beyonder turns a skyscraper into solid gold, and the Kingpin decides he wants his share of it, while the authorities are determined to cover it up in an attempt to prevent the global price of gold from collapsing and causing a worldwide economic crisis.

Needless to say, only Spider-Man can prevent the rotund rapscallion from carrying out his epic heist.

Infamy piles upon infamy when Madame Masque returns and promptly allies herself with Obadiah Stane who's kidnapped Bethany Cabe and sent a big flying machine thing to kill Iron Man!

According to the cover, we also get the untold origin of Obadiah Stane but I have no memory of it. So, I must conclude it can't quite be up there with the origin of Dr Doom.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - September 1975.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

September 1975 didn't exactly bombard us with movies of renown - or even of non-renown - but perhaps the two most memorable to surface were Dog Day Afternoon and Three Days of the Condor. I've never seen either film but I do remember Barry Norman reviewing Dog Day Afternoon, making me wonder if it's the first film I can recall watching him review.

But what of Marvel?

And its random marvels?

It's my favourite Killraven tale, as he and the gang enter an abandoned leisure complex, only to discover that Only the Computer Shows Me Any Respect.

In it, we learn that Hawk's dad liked to play-act as a Sherlock Holmes type figure and that Old Skull wants to hang around with cartoon animals.

All good things come to an end - and so it is that Panther's Rage reaches its nation-deciding climax when the Panther and Killmonger have an epic duel which will see one of them dead and the other saved by a child!

And the Black Panther's not the only one having trouble with dinosaurs, because Doug McClure can barely move for them when Marvel gives us its Darwin-bothering adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' The Land that Time Forgot.

Granted, it had already sort of given us that in the pages of Ka-Zar but, now, we can see a whole new take on the concept, thanks to Marv Wolfman and Sonny Trinidad.

Perhaps worthy of even more note is that this cover was created by Nick Cardy and it's the only example of his work I can remember ever seeing on the front of a Marvel publication. It's just a shame it's not one of his better covers.

Also in this issue, Lin Carter writes about stories which feature lost races, illustrated with stills from such movies as Spartacus and Gulliver's Travels.

But there's more because we also receive five pages of stills from the The Land that Time Forgot!

It's a mammoth-sized mountain of manic martial arts mayhem and misadventure, as the noble art of fisticuffs gets its own treasury-sized edition.

Needless to say, it's made up of reprints, mostly The Master Plan of Fu Manchu, that multi-part epic in which Shang-Chi, Iron Fist and the Sons of the Tiger must independently interfere in the villain's plan to destroy the United Nations. Each without any knowledge that the others are involved.

Captain Marvel gets his first ever giant-size book and it kicks off with a reprint of the thriller in which Rick Jones first becomes his sidekick!

And there's more.

We also encounter a reprint of the tale in which Cap and Rick set off in search of Bruce Banner, in the mistaken belief he may be able to separate them for good.

And, of course, that leads to a clash with Bruce's less reasonable alter-ego who turns out not to be half the scientist he is.

And another captain gets his first ever giant-size issue.

In this one, while Steve hangs around in the Avengers Mansion, costumed thugs break in, looking to steal any secrets or weapons it may contain!

In the next tale, Baron Zemo sends an army of assassins after Cap. Fortunately, for our hero, Rick Jones is around to help him.

Then, Cap must face The Strength of the Sumo!

Then, he must break up a prison riot.

And, then, we get a retelling of his origin.

Needless to say, all these masterpieces are brought to us by Lee and Kirby.

Ron Goulart, H. G. Wells and Dan Adkins bring us a warning of just what can go wrong when a man turns himself invisible.

That's followed by such classics as The Man Who Cried Werewolf!, Dig Me No Grave!, The Music of Erich Zann, Pickman's Model and The Roaches. All reprinted from a variety of now-defunct publications.

But no one cares about that.

Not when we've got The Legion of Monsters to keep us company.

In our first death-defying tale, Frankenstein's Monster attends a costume party but becomes inconveniently framed for murder!

Next, Manphibian finds itself in a drama labelled In Vengeance Crude!

That's followed by something called The Flies!

Which is followed by a partial adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula .

Tragically, as far as I can make out, despite the title of this magazine, there is no actual monster legioning going on.

September 6th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

On September 6th, 1975, all sensible beings were trembling with fear because, that night, BBC Two was showing The Beast With Five Fingers.

Five fingers?

Hold on a minute. I've just checked - and I have ten fingers. Why would I be scared of something that's only got half as many fingers as I have?

For me to be scared of anything, it has to have at least twenty seven fingers.

And toes.

But that film wasn't alone in launching an assault on our sanity. Directly after broadcasting that, the channel then treated us to The Maze, the tale of a Scottish lord who's really a giant frog.

And, speaking of that land, the most celebrated Scotsman ever to have an English accent was having a far happier time of it, as, that very week, Rod's latest platter that mattered Sailing hit the very pinnacle of the UK singles chart.

And he was living it up on the corresponding album chart too, thanks to his LP Atlantic Crossing still holding sway over all others.

I don't know about the Beast With Five Fingers but Spidey's the man with slippery fingers when the Green Goblin enacts his latest diabolical wheeze.

Not only that but the webbed wonder's also mislaid the spider symbol from his back. Can things possibly get any worse for our hero?

Things are pretty bad for Iron Man too. Powered only by whatever electricity he could gather from the cigarette lighter in his cousin's car, he's now in the hands of the Maggia and having to endure a first meeting with Whiplash!

Thor, meanwhile, is on a far-flung future Earth and having to fight the troll-like mutates who live there.

But they're the least of his problems because Pluto's there as well!

And I don't mean Mickey Mouse's dog!

And what's that in that medical establishment?

It seems to be a man-sized cocoon containing who can know what?

As we can see, Kang's well on his way to getting everyone's favourite super-team involved in a game of chess they'll never forget.

Except he's not, because this issue actually sees the gang conclude their battle with an Adamantium Ultron, as the rapacious robot tries to read the mind of the man who created the metal from which he's been forged!

But, before that, we see Conan encounter the Song of Red Sonja, thanks to the Hyrkanian heartthrob recruiting his assistance in pursuit of her secret mission...

And, then, Dr Strange is back and, having defeated Sligguth, he now must endure a tussle with The Shambler from the Sea!

I'm not saying those apes are slow movers but they've been running away from the same scene on every cover for the last three issues and they've still barely advanced by a foot in that period.

Regardless, I do believe this week sees the mind-shattering conclusion of Marvel's adaptation of Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

Not to mention the conclusion of the planet Earth.

And, good grief, Captain Marvel's still battling the sinister Sentry. How many more issues can this fight last for?

But forget all that. We end the issue with far more important struggle, thanks to a one-off tale called Adam... And No Eve in which the last man on Earth dies, unaware that his death will initiate the creation of a whole new world of living creatures.

This is, of course, brought to us by Alfred Bester, Denny O'Neil and Frank Robbins.

I've never read this issue but it's clear Drac's up against a foe whose conversational technique can only be called enlightning.

Elsewhere, Jack Russell must deal with some sort of Hammer pastiche in which he's in Mallet Studios and threatened by actors who may be intended to represent Christopher Lee and Ingrid Pitt.

We then get a one-page strip which tells us of the North American legend of the Thunderbird.

The Living Mummy's up to something somewhere.

And there's a one-page feature that tells us all we need to know about a thing called the Atomic Monster.

The Leader's still in control of the Rhino's body and still out to cause trouble for our hero.

Daredevil's now in prison - thanks to everyone thinking he's killed the Jester - and trying to find a way to escape before he can be unmasked.

And the Thing's still rampaging around the streets of New York, having been turned evil by the Mad Thinker.

Unless every issue of The Super-Heroes features the Silver Surfer attacking Doc Savage and the X-Men, I must conclude that recent covers of the mag have been very good at giving no representation of what actually happens within.

However, I do know that, inside this one, the Silver Surfer must take action, thanks to the creation of a massively powerful robot called the Doomsday Man!

We encounter the climax of whatever it is that happens when Doc Savage has to deal with The Coming of the Silver Ziggurat.

And the X-Men invade the Sentinels' underground base but are soon captured.

Meanwhile, the Sentinels' Master Mold is out to create an army of robots capable of conquering the world!

Fifty years ago today - September 1975.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Time for us to fling ourselves, once more, into the waiting arms of nostalgia - and hope they don't turn out to be the terrifying tentacles of Doc Ock! 

It's hospital drama for the Avengers when that woe-begotten windbag the Whirlwind returns to try and abduct the comatose Wasp!

But what's this? It seems this is the issue in which Hank Pym finally discovers his arch-foe has been his chauffeur for all these years!

It's Conan versus Conan in the tale we, no doubt, never thought we'd live to see. And it would appear it's all down to an oracle in the vicinity of the city of Ronnoco!

I really don't know what's going on but the GCD assures me the Falcon recovers from his coma, with his "Snap" Wilson persona intact, while Cap battles illusions of villains from his own past.

It looks like a grave situation for  the man without fear when his fight with Copperhead reaches its dramatic climax.

They always say good things come in pairs but, by the looks of things, it's bad Things that come in pairs.

I've no idea what happens in this one but it seems that Arkon, Thunderbolt Ross and Gaard all put in an appearance. Therefore, I'm going to guess that alternate world shenanigans are involved.

Half Skrull, half shopping cart, all awesome; the Shaper of Worlds is back.

And it can only mean trouble for the criminally underrated Toad Men.

It's a pivotal point in the life of Tony Stark, as exposure to the suffering caused by the Vietnam War convinces him to halt his involvement in arms manufacturing.

Getting flung off a bridge is the least of Spider-Man's worries because we've reached a tale to shock the world, as, at last - in the most insane revelation in the history of great literature - we finally get to discover who the Jackal is!

Nope. no idea what happens in this one.

Clearly, it involves Ulik but it would also seem to include Isis and Osiris.

I do know Star-Quake sounds like it should be a follow-up to legendary Caroline Munro/David Hasselhoff epic Starcrash.

To be honest, if the story inside isn't as magnificent as Starcrash, I may be tempted to demand my 25 cents back.

Thus are Marvel's main heroes disposed of.

But what of that other company?

The one that goes with Marvel like fish goes with chips?

Just what would we find in a random sample of its output that bears the same cover date?

We'd find that Beowulf's in trouble again.

Tragically, I completely struggle to recall anything that happens in this tale, other than that I reviewed it several years ago and that said review may be found right here.

Can it be?

Can a horrific new monstrosity be about to enter the life of our youthful hero?

I suspect not. I suspect the thing they're reacting to on that cover is Pyra who I remember little of, other than that she doesn't look like a monster.

There are few comics more idiosyncratic than DC's 1st Issue Special.

And, so, issue #6 sees the arrival of the Dingbats of Danger Street.

I know nothing of the contents of this one, other than it's brought to us by Jack Kirby and, in it, the Dingbats' lives are disrupted by a man called Jumpin' Jack who I'm assuming isn't Jack Kirby.

It seems they also encounter someone called Gasser.

It all raises the obvious questions in my mind. Was Jumpin' Jack inspired by Spring-Heeled Jack? And was Gasser inspired by the Mad Gasser of Mattoon?

I cannot say.

Because I don't know.

Not because I'm banned from saying.

Another classic Mike Kaluta cover introduces the last issue of this book. One in which the man of mystery investigates a remote village run by people who like to re-enact the past.

Can Shaddy and Margo survive a stint on the local ducking stool?

And will our hero's knowledge of hemp save them?

It's time for some sizeable fun, as Batman secures his latest treasury-sized collectors' edition.

In this one, we find such thrilling content as The Cross Country Crimes!, The Blackbird of Banditry!, The State vs Lucky Sheldon, Secrets of the Batcave, The Scarecrow! and The Lady Rogues!

We also discover a one-page feature dedicated to Batman's Television Villains.

And there's the inevitable table-top diorama. This time, by Jim Aparo and featuring The Joker, Penguin, Catwoman and Two-Face. From that description, I'm going to assume it reproduces the front cover.

But in 3 dimensions!