The Marvel Lucky Bag - May 1970.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

***

People often ask me what I like to do with my free time.

And the truth is that, mostly, I like to pull my rubber mask off to reveal my radiation-scarred face and sing hymns of praise to the atom bomb I keep in my living room.

That's probably why I identify so much with Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

And, in May 1970, I got even more of a chance to identify with it because that's when it came out.

But it wasn't the only thrill we were getting in our cinemas. That month also saw the release of Taste the Blood of Dracula and Pufnstuf.

I should point out that that was two separate movies. There was never a movie called Taste the Blood of Dracula and Pufnstuf.

However, I must confess I did get excited when my research uncovered this fact, as I assumed Taste the Blood of Dracula was the one which starred Dennis Waterman and Jenny Hanley, surely the least likely male/female casting in the history of Hammer but it turns out it's not. It's the one that stars Peter Sallis.

To be honest, I don't think I remember it. Can it be? Can it be that there's a Hammer Dracula movie that I haven't actually seen?

Speaking of films I haven't seen, that month's cinematic oddity was The Magic Garden of Stanley Sweetheart, a Don Johnson vehicle about a confused student which flopped and threatened to end his career as soon as it had begun.

When it came to the UK singles chart, that May, the roost was initially ruled by Norman Greenbaum's Spirit in the Sky.

But even Norman was helpless before the power of the England World Cup Squad and soon lost his crown to their single Back Home, before the month's final week saw the top spot claimed by Christie's Yellow River. Apparently, that song had previously been recorded by the Tremeloes but they'd failed to release their version, the blind fools.

A river may have been top of the singles chart but more troubled waters plagued the LP listings, as those bridged by Simon and Garfunkel controlled the top spot for May's first two weeks, while holding off Paul McCartney's first solo album. Macca, however, soon claimed his revenge when the duo were toppled by the Beatles' Let it Be for the month's second half.

Once more, Kid Colt faces imminent doom.

Once more, he survives it.

How? I don't know but the truth is I only posted this one because that's a lovely horsie drawn by Herb Trimpe who seems to have taken over from Jack Kirby as Marvel's Western Hero cover artist of choice.

I'm not sure why the speech balloons have green borders. It does give both protagonist and antagonist an air of the supernatural that I suspect they're not meant to have.

Happy Herb also provides the cover for this one, as our hero wonders what'll happen when his foes discover his ammo's almost gone?

I suspect they'll probably shoot him.

Then again, I suspect that was their intention anyway.

With one hand, Mephisto gives and, with the other, he takes away, as he removes Galactus' space barrier, allowing the Surfer to revisit his home planet of Zenn-La.

But then the villain abducts Shalla-Bal, in order to forcer the Surfer to destroy SHIELD for him.

It seems a bit out of character for Mephisto to want to destroy SHIELD. I mean, are they famous for thwarting his plans?

Then again, can he not destroy SHIELD himself?

It seems to me there's more going on here than meets the eye.

Fed-up of surface-dwellers dropping pollution onto his realm, the Sub-Mariner goes to the United Nations and demands it recognises Atlantis as a proper country with legally enshrined rights.

Inevitably, the UN refuses and it's back to Subby swearing revenge upon the air-breathers while not making any serious attempt to actually get it.

The cover story gives us a Roy Thomas/Barry Smith tale that I've never read. We also get a Wally Wood tale of sword and sorcery and a Gerry Conway/Syd Shores vehicle called Time Out. What that final tale involves, I could not say.

Hooray! Grottu is on the loose!

Sadly, it's not long before the inevitable interfering human foils his plan by turning his ant hordes against him.

Poor old Grottu.

Elsewhere, when mankind realises the super-computer that's turned our world into a paradise is building a giant robot, humanity turns on the robot and destroys it - only to discover it was intended to replace the computer which is on its last legs.

And now, with both computer and robot gone, the good times are over.

Also elsewhere, an ugly man joins a freak show which turns out to be run by aliens in search of an ugly husband for their gorgeous queen.

Finally, when a man's warnings that a Martian spy is loose on Earth are ignored, he takes it upon himself to hunt it down and kill it - before revealing that he himself is a Venusian!

We get yet more tales of the love that could be ours!

Call me ungrateful but, as the love stories in these books are nearly always tear-filled emotional car crashes, I'm not convinced I'd want that love to be mine.

Fifty years ago this month - May 1970.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

***

The World Cup has been staged in Mexico twice. Once in 1986 and once in 1970.

Needless to say, I still haven't got over Diego Maradona's handled goal against England in the 1986 version but, in May 1970, that was all 16 years in the future and, so, people weren't devoting as much thought to it as they could have.

Instead, they were concerned with the 1970 opening ceremony which was in the process of occurring before their very eyes.

England were, of course, in that competition and marked their qualification by releasing the single Back Home, which is where they ended up being after their quarter-final tie with West Germany.

And, speaking of back home, in that very kingdom, the Beatles may have been dead but they were refusing to lie down, thanks to the release of their penultimate album Let it Be which came out several months after their ultimate one Abbey Road. It would be nice to say Let it Be was a magnificent send-off but the album was massively flawed and definitely one for those who didn't care how they got the Beatles, just as long as they got them.

But if the Fab Four's fans were feeling all at sea, they weren't the only ones because, also that month, Thor Heyerdahl set sail from Morocco, on the papyrus boat Ra II, in an attempt to sail across the Atlantic.

I don't know what Thor was thinking of. Crossing the Atlantic like that must have taken forever. He should have used a faster form of travel.

For instance, the Soviet Tupolev Tu-144 which bore a suspicious resemblance to Concorde and, that May, became the first commercial aircraft to exceed Mach 2.

That's a very striking cover by Marie Severin.

Is this the one in which Cap goes to Asia to rescue an American soldier who's been captured by, "The Enemy?"

If it is, I predict, "The surprise villain of the year," will be the not-at-all surprising Mandarin, as who else would it be in a Marvel tale set in Asia?

Daredevil's in Los Angeles, on the hunt for Karen Page but, for reasons I can't recall, ends up battling the Stunt-Master.

As Karen went off to California, in search of movie stardom and the Stunt-Master has a history of working in movies, I'm going to assume these two biographical facts are, in some way, intertwined.

It's a story to rock the heavens themselves, as the Fantastic Four make sure Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin become the first humans to set foot on the moon, even though the FF have already been there at least twice.

And, also, the Andromeda galaxy.

And Planet X.

Have any other Marvel heroes been to the moon at this point? I can't think of any who have but I could be mistaken.

I believe the cover's mystery villain is a Kree Sentinel and that, despite everything the image implies, the FF remain on Earth for the whole of this tale.

Hooray! It's one of my Hulk faves, as the gamma-powered grappler finds himself facing Tyrannus' lackey Mogol and ends up embroiled in a war between Marvel's two most high-profile denizens of the underworld.

And I don't mean Pluto and Mephisto.

Nor Kala and the Lava Men.

Wait. Hold on. Didn't the Hulk go to the moon in one of his early tales, in order to retrieve a magic intelligence-expanding fishbowl for the Leader?

That's now six humans in the Marvel universe who went to the moon before Neil and Buzz.

Is this the one in which one of Tony Stark's factories is polluting the air above a small island, and Subby decides to do something about it, bringing him into conflict with Shellhead?

Spidey's hot on the heels of the Schemer!

And that brings him into conflict with the Kingpin!

Meanwhile, the Kingpin's wife seems a little too concerned for the welfare of the Schemer for Kingy's liking.

I am confident Spider-Man never went to the moon before Armstrong and Aldrin.

I genuinely don't have a clue what happens in this one.

I gather Surtur's in it.

What he's up to, I really couldn't say.

I guarantee it's malevolent, though.

Arkon's on Earth - and out to do something to save his own world which will doom our world.

What that thing is, I don't recall but I'm sure it's going to take the combined power of the Avengers to stop him.

I also have the feeling he wants to marry the Scarlet Witch.

April 30th, 1980 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Today's post is sponsored by Charlie Horse 47, via the magick of Patreon.

***

You know what I've always loved?

Blank incomprehension about the lyrics of a song.

And that means I was in Heaven in this week of exactly forty years ago.

That's because it was the week in which Dexy's Midnight Runners sprinted to the top of the UK singles chart, with Geno, their tribute to legendary Soul singer Geno Washington.

Granted, when I say, "Legendary," I must confess my knowledge of his career comes entirely from that song.

And, having said that, "Knowledge," may also be an overstatement, as, beyond his name, I've gleaned no understanding of his career from it, due to not being able to understand any of the words.

Despite my blank incomprehension, though, I was a major fan of the record and was very pleased to see it at Number One.

Not so exciting for me was what was happening on the LP chart where the nightmare Rock-Classical fusion band Sky had snatched the top spot with their album Sky 2.

Sky were, of course, made up of such musicians as the John Williams who wasn't the John Williams who wrote the Star Wars theme, the bloke who wrote Clive Dunn's Grandad, and a bloke called Tristan.

I must confess I've never heard the album but, from my experience of their singles, I've no doubt it was a very civilised affair.

Captain Marvel shows up to prevent the Hulk killing Glenn Talbot and ends up helping him to get to Jarella's world by, somehow, shrinking him to the size of an iota.

Other than that, I can say little of this issue but I do see the sensational She-Hulk's due to make her presence felt in the book, even though it has mere weeks to live.

I do believe the monster that was trying to kill our heroes last week is still on the loose and in as bad a mood now as it was then.

And it's even worse than that - because someone called Lopaki is out to take Luke and Leia prisoner!

Elsewhere in space, it's a shock to our systems as Man-Wolf suddenly has a presence in the comic.

He would appear to be in a tale from his spell as sword-wielding galactic adventurer.

In truth, I've no memory of him ever having been in the book, or of ever having read his outer space adventures, which is odd, as I've always been partial to Man-Wolf and would have thought such a thing would have stuck in my mind.

Regardless, I'm assuming he's been brought in to replace Monark Starstalker.

I, therefore, assume Deathlok and Tales of the Watcher are still present, though I couldn't say so for certain.

The Doctor's still up against the Dogs of Doom.

We get a look at the BBC's Radiophonic Workshop and are granted the chance to win a sound-effects record.

Marvel's adaptation of First Men in the Moon continues. It seems to have been going on for years. I could have walked to the moon in less time than it's taken them to fly there.

We get a text story called The Sands of Time.

And we get more of the Abslom Daak tale Star Tigers.

Dogs of War? Star Tigers? It's like you can't move, for deadly animals, once you travel out into the cosmos.

That's why I'm staying at home and spending my time reading this week's Spectacular Spider-Man Weekly.

Spidey's still teamed with the Punisher in that tale whose events I have little memory of and whose villain I don't recall.

I believe that, at Spidey's insistence, the Punisher only uses, "Mercy bullets," in this tale.

Do such things exist?

I'm suspecting not.

I'm suspecting they're just a comic book thing.

Detective Comics #440 - Ghost Mountain Midnight.

This post is brought to you by the kind sponsorship of Charlie Horse 47, via Patreon. Thank you, Charlie. There is, I am sure, a place in Heaven for you.

***

If ever there was a comic I bought for the cover, it was this one.

Admittedly, I also bought it because it starred Batman, was an issue of Detective Comics and contained a massive 100 pages of, no doubt, slam-bam action just asking to be read.

But most of all, I bought it because its cover featured a purple bear threatening our hero - as portrayed by Jolting Jim Aparo.

Well, that's all very well and great but what of the book's actual contents?

Bruce Wayne's on a date in a restaurant when a bunch of rednecks burst in and kidnap one of the waitresses.

Needless to say, it's mere moments before Bruce has made his excuses and, in his guise as Gotham's mysterious protector, gone off to deal with the abductors,

Despite being a man who can, apparently, beat up Superman any time he wants to, our hero's quickly vanquished by a single hillbilly with a rifle butt and then has to go trudging off to the wrongdoers' hometown, in order to make a second attempt at rescuing the girl who we now know is called Sarah Beth.

She is, it seems, the sister of her abductors and, for some reason, they believe it vital that they pop her clogs for her as soon as possible.

Upon arriving in town, our hero finds an uncooperative Sheriff who, like any responsible officer of the law, is more interested in finding an illegal still than in preventing the murder of waitresses and, so, Bats has to enter the local mountains where the kidnappers dwell, in order to fulfill his mission.

There, by eavesdropping, he discovers that, in order to keep a Native American curse at bay, the family believes it must, from time to time, sacrifice one of its own.

And this time is Sarah Beth's turn!

Clearly, Batman can't stand for that kind of nonsense and flings himself into the fray.

He's clearly been having fighting lessons since their last encounter because, despite being heavily outnumbered, he soon despatches the deluded simpletons and goes to rescue Sarah Beth from her chains.

That's when an inconvenient bear shows up.

But it's no ordinary bear.

It's a homicidal bear.

With not a picnic basket in sight and having been injured by fire, it's taken to eating people - and Batman's on the menu!

Not for long, he isn't. No mere twelve-foot tall agglomeration of teeth and claws is a match for the man the Germans know as Die Fledermausenmenschen and he soon sends it flying off a cliff to its doom.

But what a lucky break that is because, at the foot of that cliff, he finds the illegal still the sheriff told him about, concludes it was that which had burnt the bear, and then returns to town to give the lawman a good smack in the mouth, having deduced, on no great evidence, that he put the still there in the first place.

Mission accomplished.

I do like this tale. With its Deliverance meets Scooby-Doo plot, it's the sort of thing I love to see from a Batman story.

I do enjoy it when Batman's handled as a detective rather than a super-hero and this yarn, with its minor sense of mystery and its very simple plot, thus, appeals to me greatly.

I suspect it's not viewed as one of the all-time classic Batman adventures but it's solidly written by Archie Goodwin and cleanly drawn by Sal Amendola; with Dick Giordano's inks helping to lend it that look we associate with 1970s Batman.

So, yes, I can announce that, for me, with that cover, this story, that bear, and dozens of pages of back-up strips, this was definitely a book worth spending that 50 pence on.

April 23rd, 1980 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Other than Zimbabwe gaining independence, this week in 1980 was one of limited eventfulness.

Come to think of it, I'm sure this is the 20th time I've reported on the independence of Zimbabwe. Just how many times did it gain independence?

Not that I care. Political reality's nothing to me, not compared to the jostlings and battlings of the UK singles chart.

And so it is that I can report that, in this week of that year, Blondie hit the top of that chart, thanks to the song Call Me.

I do believe it was a Blondie single in name only and that, of the group, Debbie Harry was the only one on it, with the rest of the contribution coming from the magic production fingers of Giorgio Moroder.

As if that weren't excitement enough, a remarkable feat was afoot, for, at that very moment, The Jam had no less than 7 singles in the Top 75, leaving no one in any doubt as to their rise to commercial dominance.

Over on the album chart, the roost was still being ruled by Rose Royce's Greatest Hits, which was a serious achievement, bearing in mind they didn't really have that many hits.

As the comic nears its doom, the Hulk's still at Hulkbuster Base and trying to retrieve Jarella's body, despite the best attempts of Glenn Talbot to stop him.

But who is the mystery man who has the power to judge the world's mightiest mortal?

It's Captain Marvel.

My knowledge of the rest of this issue is limited but I assume Captain Britain and the Black Knight are still on their quest for something or other and that Valkyrie's probably having her first encounter with the ever-annoying Lunatik.

Now it's trouble! The Punisher's in Peter Parker's flat and confronting him about his, "Secret."

But what secret?

I don't know. I don't remember.

And that's where my knowledge of this week's contents begins and ends, as I don't remember anything else about it.

But, from that cover, I do believe this is the issue in which Jonah has the mental breakdown which ultimately leads to him losing his memory.

Luke and friends find themselves in an abandoned underground city - with a terrifying, pink monster!

Monark Starstalker's still doing whatever it is he does in his debut appearance.

Simon Ryker's mind somehow ends up in Deathlok's body.

I've no idea where Deathlok's mind ends up being.

Perhaps both minds are in the same body and fighting for supremacy?

And, in this week's Tales of the Watcher, an alien crash-lands on Earth and offers knowledge in exchange for assistance.

But will mankind's greed scupper the deal?

Knowing Tales of the Watcher, I think it's a safe bet it will.

Is it my imagination or is the cover date on this comic the 23th of April?

Regardless, the Doctor's still having trouble with The Dogs of Doom.

Then again, they're called, "The Dogs of Doom." From a name like that, you'd expect to have trouble with them.

We get a two-page text article about the mighty Movellans.

We get yet more of Marvel's adaptation of First Men in the Moon.

And we get a text story titled Evil Egg. Don't ask me.

Lastly, we finish off with yet more from the Abslom Daak tale Star Tigers.

2000 AD - March 1982.

Strange things were afoot in the skies above planet Earth in March 1982.

And that was because, for the first time in human history, all nine recognised planets of the solar system were aligned on the same side of the sun.

Admittedly, when I say, "The first time in human history," that might not be true.

Then again, it might be true. I don't know enough about astronomy to say either way.

But I can only assume it meant that, at last, it was possible for us to see Counter-Earth, which does make me wonder why that astonishing fact wasn't reported in any newspapers at the time.

I smell a cover-up.

I blame that J Jonah Jameson.

Things were far more transparent on the UK singles chart, though, as the month began with Tight Fit's The Lion Sleeps Tonight at Number One.

However, even a record of that quality can't triumph forever and, by the end of March, it had been kicked off its throne by the Goombay Dance Band's equally high class Seven Tears which bore no resemblance at all to Auld Lang Syne.

Over on the British LP chart, it was a straight tussle for power between Barbra Streisand and her old rivals The Jam.

Babs entered the month at Number One, with Love Songs but lost her crown to that band's The Gift before Babs struck back to reclaim the top spot and hold on to it for the rest of the month.

That was certainly all very exciting but, speaking of events in Space, what of the galaxy's greatest comic?

As usual, it was giving us Tharg's Future Shocks, Ace Trucking Co, Nemesis the Warlock (who was having trouble with talking spiders), The Mean Arena and Rogue Trooper, while Judge Dredd was still fighting The Apocalypse War. Also, Prog 254 gave us another of Alan Moore's Abelard Snazz adventures.

Reader, I still have no memory of Abelard Snazz.

When it comes to The Ace Trucking Co, I've not the slightest clue what The Great Mush Rush was but it took up several issues and must, therefore, have been a thing of vast importance.

April 16th, 1980 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Get ready to rock, you head-banging party animals because, in this week of 1980, Iron Maiden's eponymous debut album was released in the UK.

Released?

It was so mighty it probably escaped, tearing apart the bars of its cage and overturning cars as it went.

It was so mighty that it would go on to achieve platinum sales in both Britain and Canada, which isn't bad for a debut album.

Clearly, with sales like that, it would soon be surging up the UK LP chart but, for now, it would have to settle for watching Rose Royce claim the honours, as their Greatest Hits album stood astride that very chart, at Number One, like a Colossus.

Actually, I've never heard that Iron Maiden album. It might be rubbish, for all I know.

I'm going to make a magnificent guess as to what happens inside this comic.

The Hulk's trying to retrieve the body of Jarella, so he might return it to its rightful home - but Glenn Talbot's in a Mandroid suit and is out to stop him.

Valkyrie's enrolled at college and is being given a lesson in film history by Dollar Bill.

The Silver Surfer's still trying to stop the big indestructible mutant who's ruined the universe.

The Black Knight and Captain Britain are still fighting big statues at a stone circle in somewhere or other.

The Beast's trying to protect his secret identity from a female work colleague.

And I'm certain that Iron Man's still battling the Mandarin's Hulkbot.

I can be less guesstastic with this one, though, as I don't have a clue what's going on inside it.

However, the cover tells us we're going to get Spidey the way we like him.

I'm not sure what that means.

Up until now, have they been giving us Spidey as we don't like him?

And just what is Spidey as I don't like him?

From that cover blurb, it looks like it won't be long before Marvel UK's best-selling book has a title change.

But it looks like that's the least of concerns for C-3PO, R2-D2 and an unidentified female friend because they're clearly destined to be slaughtered by what I'm assuming is a murderous robot.

Meanwhile, we're getting more of Monark Starstalker's first appearance.

And, for some reason, Deathlok's floating around in space.

And he seems as bemused by that turn of events as I am!

Meanwhile, I've no idea what the Watcher's up to this week.

He's probably in Space, watching Deathlok and wondering what he's doing there.

It's good news for the Jagaroth, as their man Scaroth takes a break from stealing the Mona Lisa, to pose for this week's cover.

Inside, the Doctor's up against someone called the Dogs of Doom who seem like very unpleasant neighbours to have.

Rather more pleasantly, the comic gives us the chance to win a trip to the Doctor Who studios and be blinded by the shirts of John Nathan-Turner.

Elsewhere, the first men in the moon have been captured by the Selenites and are, no doubt, even as I type, being taken to meet their leader.

Finally, we get an Abslom Daak tale called The Star Tigers which involves the Draconians and drunkenness, in that order.