Hooray! It's Halloween, that special time of year when we kick-start our broomsticks; and those of us from the miserable North get our chainsaws out, in an attempt to cut a face into a rock-hard turnip.
What ghoulies will we be grabbed by? What ghosties will tweak our toes as we lie in bed?
Only time can tell.
But first, have you ever wanted to go to Mars?
I know I have.
Actually, I haven't, it looks like a terrible place, but, for the sake of this introduction, I'm going to pretend I do.
That's because, forty years ago tonight, someone was going to the Red Planet.
And that someone was none other than Flash Gordon.
It's true. The saviour of the universe was taking a break from liberating Mongo, thanks to a BBC Two hosted episode of his classic serial Flash Gordon's Trip to Mars. I'm one hundred percent certain I've seen it. I'm also one hundred percent certain I don't remember it.
Anyway, I'm assuming Ming the Merciless turned out to be the villain of the piece, regardless of its setting.
Later that evening, the same channel was showing the latest instalment of the legendary music show The Old Grey Whistle Test, introduced by Anne Nightingale.
The main point of interest in that week's edition, for me, is it featured a performance by Bruce Woolley who, I believe, has the distinction of having released a version of Video Killed the Radio Star before the Buggles did.
Sadly, not for for Bruce the honour of having had a Number One single and the first track ever played on MTV, as, despite not being radically different to the Buggles' take, his version failed to chart or get noticed by anyone. It lacks the bit that goes, "Ooh-a, ooh-a," and the keyboard skills of Geoff Downes, and it seems that that, in this life, is the difference between triumph and catastrophe
I have it on good authority that Darth Vader is still causing chaos for our heroes.
Meanwhile, the Guardians of the Galaxy are up against the Reavers of Arcturus who I have a feeling may be old enemies of Star-Lord and that woman he keeps turning into.
Elsewhere, the Watcher's warning us of The Menace From the Purple Planet and there's some sort of story featuring the Destroyer vs Thanos, of which I have no recall. I would assume, though, that the Destroyer's likely to be acting like Mr Grumpy Pants all the way through it.
The Hulk and Machine Man are still on collision course, thanks to the evil Corporation but still haven't actually reached each other yet.
Ant-Man's still stuck at insect size and still being chased around the countryside by Egghead, thanks to having allied himself with the villain's niece.
That niece is also in the Hulk story. Coincidence is a strange thing.
Meanwhile, we're still being treated to a very prolonged re-telling of Captain Britain's entire history.
Nick Fury's still being pursued by SHIELD who think he's a traitor.
And the Eternals are still battling the Cosmic Hulkbot.
Thanks to the evils of the Iron Legion, the Doctor finds himself in a Roman-style arena, having to fight a big blobby monster while armed with nothing more than a dead man's trident.
Someone call for Flash Gordon because, while he's on Mars, its inhabitants are causing nothing but trouble on Earth in Marvel's continuing adaptation of The War of the Worlds.
How great would it be if someone wrote a Flash Gordon/War of the Worlds mash-up?
Elsewhere, we get an adaptation of The Dead Planet, which my Steve-Senses tell me was the opening episode of the show's first-ever Dalek story.
Peter Parker's trying to get back with MJ but has bigger problems on his hands than that because both J Jonah Jameson and Professor Smythe are out to get him.
The FF are up against evil caricatures of themselves, created by a child. It's a tale I've read elsewhere but have no recollection of ever having encountered in a Marvel UK book. This means I've either never read this issue or I have and have simply forgotten about it.
Meanwhile, Godzilla's captured by alien invaders! I suspect it won't be long before they learn to regret it.
Also included: Iron Man's up against Firebrand, Thor's battling the gods of Ancient Egypt, and Daredevil's up against the Man-Bull.
Stargirl Reviews: Season 3, Episode 8
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