2000 AD - April 1982.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

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April 1982 was a landmark in the annals of the British Empire.

It may have seemed, to most people, like it no longer existed and was a half-forgotten thing from the history books but we got two reminders that it was still out there.

First of all, by proclamation of the Queen, Canada patriated its constitution, finally gaining full political independence from the United Kingdom and even launching its own bill of rights.

That was all very peaceful and civilised but there was a more sinister blow to the Empire when, that month, Argentina took it upon itself to invade the Falkland Islands, by landing forces near Stanley, thus beginning an infamous conflict whose events would affect the future of both countries.

It sounded like the world could do with a little peace.

And the girl Europe knew only as Nicole clearly agreed because, that April, she won the Eurovision Song Contest with her tune of that name, although its official title was Ein Bißchen Frieden. Somehow, things always sound less angry when said in English than they do when said in German.

In the cinema, we were all being terrorised by the remake of Cat People, complete with a theme song by David Bowie.

Over on the singles chart, three tracks held the Number One slot, that month.

The first was Seven Tears by the Goombay Dance Band.

The second was My Camera Never Lies by Bucks Fizz.

Bucks Fizz had, of course, won the previous year's Eurovision Song Contest and their victory meant this year's competition was held in this country.

The third and final Number One of the month was Ebony and Ivory by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder. Apparently, Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder are officially classified as one-hit wonders, as they never had another hit together.

Over on the album chart, April kicked off with Iron Maiden's The Number of the Beast at the summit, before it was dethroned by Status Quo's 1982. The Quo may have only known three chords but they did, at least, know what year it was.

However, the veteran rockers' triumph was short-lived and they were quickly robbed of it by Barry Manilow whose Barry Live in Britain finished the month in the top spot.

But wait!

What's this?

Look at those pictures below!

Four issues of 2000 AD - and not a single Judge Dredd cover between them? What madness is this?

No madness. Merely a blow to the senses. The good judge was indeed inside the comic, as were Robo-Hunter, Rogue Trooper, the Ace Trucking Co and the Mean Arena. We can only assume Dredd was too busy fighting the Apocalypse War to pose for any covers.

Robo-Hunter seemed to be up against some sort of Hound of the Baskervilles analog, although, given the hero's nature, I'm sure the, "Beast," turned out to be more digital than analogue.

We only got two Future-Shocks that month, which was a shock in itself, especially as Tharg was celebrating the book's fifth birthday by wishing the readers a happy fifth birthday. Clearly, Tharg had got a bit confused there.

Yet again, we got the chance to win a bag of KP Griddles.

Yet again, I suspect there is no one alive who even remembers KP Griddles.