Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.
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This week in 1981 wasn't exactly thrilling. The only major news going on that I can see was military dictator Augusto Pinochet being sworn in as President of Chile for another 8-year term, which was nice for him but, possibly, wasn't such good news for everybody else.
Nor was there much to get excited about on the music scene, with Roxy Music's Jealous Guy and Adam Ant's Kings of the Wild Frontier retaining their Number One spots, on the UK singles and album charts, respectively.
But what of comics? Thanks to recent mergers, Marvel UK suddenly found itself with just three weekly mags.
But, half the number of comics must mean each individual comic must now be twice as good as it used to be.
Right?
At last!
The Hulk battles Gog and Magog, in Egypt, with help from the Arabian Knight and his flying carpet.
I'm starting to feel like I'm stuck in a time-loop.
When it comes to Spider-Man, Kraven's current girlfriend's nagging him to come out of retirement and kill the wallcrawler to prove he's a real man. And, like a mug, Kraven's listening to her.
Meanwhile, Iron Man's still teaming-up with the Human Torch, presumably to deal with the Reincarnated Man character they were confronting last week.
The Dazzler's about to come into conflict with the Enchantress in that battle for a singing gig. But, first, the strip takes a diversion to the Avengers Mansion where the Beast and Wasp are squabbling over something or other.
Justin Hammer's still making Iron Man's armour malfunction.
And it would appear the Valkyrie's still in Asgard.
Britain's latest amalgamation of comics hits the shops, and the Enterprise crew hits a brand new mission, as it's sent to thwart a space cloud that's endangering the Andrea System.
Mystery and intrigue are afoot in Tales of the Microverse.
And the Warriors of the Shadow Realm find themselves on the outskirts of a town on stilts.
This is the limit of my knowledge of this issue but I do know Warlock isn't in it, and that can only be a bad thing.
Devil Dinosaur is also not in it.
This knowledge gives me mixed feelings.
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'Spider-man & Hulk Weekly' # 419
The letters page features one long letter. It's a rant about the 'Marvel Revolution', with all the usual suspects - no glossy covers, no chronological order, stories being edited, no credits, etc. This reader then asks the editor - Paul Neary - not to edit his letter, so his views aren't misinterpreted. In response, Paul Neary prints this letter 'as is', with almost 20 spelling & grammatical errors, each marked with an asterisk - cruel!
'Spider-man'
Marvel has rules, for storytelling. One rule, according to Denny O'Neil, is: "If a story isn't complicated enough, throw in a gorilla!" (Jo Duffy interview) This week's Spider-man tale shows Denny O'Neil applying this profound rule, in an actual story. Specifically, Kraven the Hunter subdues an escaped gorilla, with his knowledge of pressure points, saving a man's life! Thus, in this story, Denny has 'thrown in a gorilla' !
Kraven also has a new girlfriend, who manipulates him, by questioning his virility, implying he's getting old, etc. She tells Kraven he's scared of Spidey - trying to play the two guys off against each other. She is the one who released the gorilla, and the other animals, too! Kraven says he dishonoured himself, battling Spidey, last time, by using Tigra, in order to win. This recrimination, along with Kraven saving a man from the gorilla, presents him, to the reader, more favourably than villains usually appear. The art is by Alan Weiss (Warlock) - and this story's beginning has grabbed my interest in spades. Good start, Denny!
'The White Tiger'
Blackbyrd's stoolpigeon tells White Tiger his family died at the hands of some 'out of town muscle', holed up in the South Bronx. The Stoolie provides the Tiger with two locations. At the second location, the White Tiger is overpowered by three ordinary goons, wearing goggles, and pinned to the floor, by two of them. This is stupid! The White Tiger has the combined amulets of the 3 'Sons of the Tiger', making him at least the sum of their parts. He's fought the Jack of Hearts, and was evenly matched against Spider-man(having some super speed, too, it seemed.) Yet, two ordinary goons pin the White Tiger down.Gideon Mace didn't even need to involve himself. Pathetic!
'The Hulk'
The Arabian Knight ignites a crate of dynamite, causing a rock fall, to seal the tomb, imprisoning Gog & Magog. Unfortunately, to the Knight, the Hulk is - regrettably - collateral damage. Luckily, the Hulk later breaks out of the tomb. Meanwhile, back in New York, Rick Jones takes a taxi to Avengers mansion. Even better, for Rick, the taxi ride's free, the taxi driver being a former member of the Teen Brigade's Canarsie Chapter. Seems the Teen Brigade was a franchise, almost like McDonald's!
'Iron Man & the Human Torch'
Last week, in this story, Iron Man patronized Johnny Storm, continually, for no good reason, in an uncharacteristic way. At first, the theme of this senseless story seemed to be the 'generation gap'(nowadays, the media plays Millennials off against Baby Boomers, instead!) It seems Iron Man doesn't appreciate the younger generation - Johnny Storm - but by the story's end will realize "the kids are all right!" After all, Johnny's detective work in the library solves the case. Johnny finds out "there was an Amenemhet III, but he was a king of the 12th dynasty, not the 11th." So Infinitus isn't a real Egyptian - in reality, he's Tony Stark's mate Rodgers' evil brother! Plus, Johnny Storm saves Iron Man's life - twice! Marvel's readers are Johnny's age - or younger - so they're supposed to be rooting for him - not that old square, Iron Man! You dig it? Well, in the final panel, Iron Man tips a wink to the readers, telling them his treatment of Johnny Storm was all a bit of "applied psychology" ! Where do you draw the line between "applied psychology" & manipulation? Kraven could discuss this with his new girlfriend!
'Captain America' # 4
This week's stories (with the exception of the Defenders) barely need summarizing, being quite well known.
'Captain America'
Dragon Man attacks his master, Machinesmith, in his lair; but Machinesmith subdues him with 4 glowing spheres, of the type he used last week. Captain America then throws his shield, ricocheting it off the walls, destroying all 4 spheres. Strangely, Cap couldn't throw his shield, and hit one sphere before, except eventually with a surprise backward swing.
Machinesmith leads Cap a merry dance, with robots resembling superheroes, and multiple copies of himself. In the end, Machinesmith wanted to terminate his own miserable life, but his programming wouldn't let him; so, he calculated which superhero was most likely to defeat him - Captain America. This backhanded compliment is a measure of Machinesmith's respect for Cap. Unfortunately, Cap feels terrible about ending a life - even one as miserable as Machinesmith's.
'Iron Man'
At the beginning, the story has Iron Man solve a traffic jam, by lifting and moving a car blocking the highway. Spider-man did exactly the same thing, at the start of that recent Fusser twins (who became Fusion) story - but whereas Spidey got excoriated for his efforts, Iron Man gets an offer of a date!
The main part of this famous story has Iron Man on stage, with an important ambassador (accompanied by Bethany Cabe). Just as Iron Man's hand is behind the ambassador's back, Justin Hammer activates Iron Man's repulsor ray, which goes right through the ambassador's body, killing him instantly. Bethany Cabe is horrified, calling Iron Man a murderer! As a kid, I remember this scene was quite shocking.
As Iron Man's repulsors are force rays, not heat rays, shouldn't the ambassador have been thrown forward, towards the crowd?
'Dazzler'
The first Dazzler issue guest starred Spider-man. The second issue guest starred the X-Men. Now we start with the Avengers. This smacks of desperation. It's like Marvel are afraid that, to readers, Dazzler's comic alone wouldn't be interesting enough, unless pre-existing superheroes are sprinkled in, to sweeten the deal! Anyway, this is the famous singing contest issue, in which Stevie Wildfire re-enacts two thirds of the Judgement of Paris (kind of!) He must choose between two beautiful women - the Enchantress, & Dazzler. The end result leaves the Enchantress very, very angry (she wins on beauty, but Dazzler's voice is superior.)
'The Defenders'
The Hulk is ambushed by soldiers, in the Oregon woods. Whilst leaping, Hulk dies - suddenly - of a heart attack! This is something to do with the Norns' prophecy. Maybe Marvel UK trimmed that bit out! In the past, Ed Hannigan has done Hulk covers that are outstanding. This art, however, isn't to my taste, as Hannigan draws the Hulk with a flat head, a bit like a compressed Frankenstein's monster.
Back in Asgard, not much is happening. Harokin - with the few soldiers he's got left - is filled with self-pity, having lost against Ollerus's forces. Harokin's left watching Ollerus's mountain, shaped like a shark's fin, grinding its way across the horizon.
In the final scene, Poppo, Ollerus's sycophantic helper, reminds his master of all he has done for him. Ollerus himself is more focused on replacing Hela, as God of Death.
Phillip
A time loop, Steve? At least its only a repeat of Gog and Magog - I'm just grateful you didn't go with the Adam Ant ear joke again.
-sean
Gawd, I forgot Rick Jones turned up at the end of that Hulk story. Not sure I really needed reminding tbh Phillip...
-sean
Before anybody says anything, that letter in Spider-Man and Hulk Weekly wasn't from me!
Well, at least you accurately remembered Dazzler's singing contest, Sean - albeit a week too early!
dangermash - Walls Viennetta & Baileys wasn't mentioned in the letter, so clearly you had no part in it!
Phillip
Anon, speaking of gorillas and other primates in comics, wasn't there an editor at D.C. in the Fifties and/or Sixties who believed putting an ape of some kind on the cover sold comics?
I've read that somewhere. That's why you started to see all those primates at D.C.
I dunno, there's like a dozen of 'em.
Lessee, Grodd, Detective Chimp, Beppo the Super Monkey, Monsieur Mallah, Congorilla, that Ape from Angel and the Ape..I know there's more...
Apparently, in the DC Universe, you couldn't throw a rock without hitting one of them hairy buggers.
I wouldn't advise it though; who knows what they might throw back at you...
It probably wouldn't be bananas...
M.P.
MP, I think DC had a number of rules for what to put on covers. One was apes. Another was the colour yellow. Another was the reader being asked a question. There were three or four others but I don't recall what they were.
Phillip, thanks for the latest summaries. I too was struck by the uselessness of the White Tiger in that story. If I remember right, he decides to retire after that one. It's easy to see why.
Steve, I remember some of those stories at D.C. being presented like little puzzles the reader had to figure out. "Can YOU guess how the Flash escapes this trap?" or ""How are Clark Kent and Superman in different places at the same time?"
I remember one Batman comic from the early '70's that was kinda cool. The reader was challenged to figure out the Riddler's clues at the same time Batman was trying to. "Can YOU guess the answer to the riddle?"
I've never heard that about the color yellow. I believe you Steve, but I can't dope out the thinking there..
Phil, as far as Harokin goes, wasn't he dead at this point? Is think his death might've been the first appearance of Hela. Volstagg was shaking like a runt pig trying to pass an acorn. Apparently the door to Valhalla was a swingin' gate.
M.P.
Is there any actual evidence for this gorilla/ape cover rule?
It sounds like an urban myth to me.
Not disputing that were quite a few gorillas on old DC covers - apparently in the early 50s Strange Adventures #8 sold well after a gorilla appeared on the cover, so DC editors did more... but jumping on a trend is how the comic biz works, and isn't the same thing as having a rule.
In an interview Julius Schwartz recalled "finally, all the editors wanted to use gorilla covers, and [editorial director at the time Irwin Donenfeld] said no more than one a month".
Admittedly that does sound like a rule... but it was to limit the number of cover gorillas!
-sean
Sean, if Schwartz hadda put his foot down, that suggests there was a proliferation of gorillas, monkeys, etc., in them D.C. covers.
A kid back then couldn't spin a spinner rack without one of those hairy bastards grinning back at him.
I'll bet that got old after a while.
Primates are terrifying and horrible because they resemble people. When we were little kids, my brother got smacked by a monkey when he got too close to the cage at the Sioux Falls Zoo. He was four years old at the time, and ever since then he's been a complete son of a bitch.
M.P.
Well, I think you'll find I accepted there was a proliferation of gorillas at DC M.P., but it doesn't follow they had a specific rule.
There was a proliferation of barbarians in 70s comics, but I haven't really heard it claimed that Marvel or whoever had a rule about putting homo-erotic hairy geezers with swords on their front covers.
-sean
Gorillas went the way of other dangerous animals (and quick sand) once man put his foot on the moon.
Of course Planet of the Apes is the exception, being written by a French man (but of course) in the early 60s. But that played into the whole space race, nuclear war, existential threat scenario that is de rigouer anymore.
O/wise they only really appeared in the few Tarzans comics still out there by Gold Key, then DC but not in the men-with-tights comics.
Well, Charlie, I'd agree that outer space is a good source for monsters in film and literature.
Limitless, really.
But you still got your occasional huge alligator or shark or bear or spider, or the occasional cryptid, wreaking vengeance on mankind.
"History shows again and again
How nature points up the folly of man..."
-Godzilla
Blue oyster Cult
M.P.
Don't forget humans M.P., the most dangerous monster of all.
To be fair, you can't really blame nature for wreaking vengeance.
"Beware the beast man" - Dr Zaius
-sean
M.P. - As you imply, as Harokin's in Valhalla, he's got to be dead. The only exception is Barbara Norris/Val! The Warriors Three aren't in it, at the moment. As a kid, I never realized Volstagg was a spoof version of Falstaff. Fandral is Erol Flynn, I assume. The Mongol warrior guy - grim Hogun - any ideas?
As kids, my brother & I went to Flamingo Land animal park. The orang-utans would put their hands out, begging for food, and - if you failed to provide it - they would spit at you! A pitiful spectacle, as they'd obviously been mistreated.
Sean - Sometimes chimps are almost as bad as humans. They roam around in gangs, and murder other chimps and monkeys.
Phillip
Yes Phillip - turns out Planet of the Apes was a pro-chimp propaganda film, smearing the gorillas and orangutans.
-sean
David Attenborough proved that gorillas are gentle creatures - whereas a chimp would rip your face off given half a chance. So it's no surprise that chimps are the closest living relatives of humans, sharing 95% of their DNA I think.
Charlie, I've read Pierre Boulle's Planet Of The Apes. The novel has TWO twist endings but neither involves the Statue of Liberty!
Sean - If 'smearing' was involved, they have really been 'damned dirty apes' !
Phillip
Colin - do you recommend reading PotA? I am going to guess there are two versions of the book, then: the original translation and a Hollywood version.
Charlie, there's no "Hollywood version" of the novel as far as I know, just the original version translated from French. I quite enjoyed the book but there was one thing that rather annoyed me - Pierre Boulle sets the apes' planet (not Earth!) in orbit around the star Betelgeuse which is impossible as Betelgeuse is a "red giant" star which means it can only exist for a few million years before exploding and so there would be no time for life to develop on a planet orbiting it. By contrast our sun's lifespan is about 10 BILLION years and life took around 600 million years to emerge on Earth and another 3.3 billion years to move beyond one-celled organisms. For me it was annoying that Pierre Boulle made such a huge scientific blunder AND YET in the same novel he understands the concept of "time dilation" whereby a spaceship moving at the speed of light experiences time moving much more slowly inside the ship than back on Earth. How could Boulle understand time dilation but also be ignorant about the lifespan of a red giant star???
But Planet Of The Apes is still an enjoyable novel, Charlie, and yes I would recommend it!
Well Colin, I was reading up on your observation and Betelgeuse is expected to go super nova in about 100,000 years. Kind of wish we could see it (of course we'd have to add 500 - 600 years for the light to get here, lol!)
I didn't realize Boulle also wrote Bridge Over the River Kwai, a huge book and movie success, and was a spy in south-east Asis for the Free French.
Quite a life he led, it seems.
It is curious he chose Betelgeuse. Perhaps astro physics was not quite developed at the time he conceived the book, to consider the star's age?
(And to my fellow American's who think the earth is 10,000 years old... rasberries to you!)
Yes Planet Of The Apes was a good novel.
The most interesting thing for me was how ape society was divided up between gorillas, chimps and orang utangs, and how there were common personality traits within each of the groups. The more I read through the book, the more I realised how easy it would be to map all the human beings I could think of onto those three classes. This must have been deliberate on the author's part.
Like most novels that films are based on, APES was better in literature than in the movie. The apes were more advanced technically-wise, but that was accepted by me because I could understand the budget retraints. The original POTA series is still a fav of mine. If the Pittsburgh Steelers aren't in the Super Bowel, I watch that instead.
Not going to mention how awesome "Kings Of The Wild Frontier" is. :)
The last time I read about Gog was in a Astonishing Tales story where he tore-up the Statue Of Liberty. Also think I got the Avengers issue where they were rebuilding it in the intro. Was that the same book that had the Human Bombs taking-out the Vision?
Having never read that Hulk tale, was Gog the same character from the MTU/Ka-Zar stories? I can kind of see an avalanche holding him back. Maybe. Absolutely not Magog.
That Avengers story about the human bombs was a weird one at the time, and in retrospect seems even more so in the 21st century Kd.
You're right that it starts with the heroes fixing up the Statue of Liberty, and a mention of Gog.
But that Gog was an alien from the Savage Land - who (I think) originally had something to do with Spider-Man (I expect dangermash could help out on that) - whereas the Gog from the Hulk was one of a pair of ancient demons on a break from the City of London Lord Mayor's parade.
Different Gogs.
-sean
KD, a "Super Bowel" sounds rather unpleasant!
Has anyone seen the recent POTA trilogy?
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (2011)
Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes (2014)
War For The Planet Of The Apes (2017)
I've only seen the third one but it was excellent in my opinion and the CGI apes were stunning. The reason given for mankind's downfall was also much more plausible than the original film series - in the recent trilogy most of humanity is killed off in a global pandemic (!) and in the third film the pandemic has a secondary effect which turns the human survivors into dumb brutes.
Phil, I read somewhere that Hogan was based on Charles Bronson.
I've also read that Kirby was a fan of westerns, (who ain't?) and Bronson was in some pretty good ones. A couple good war movies too.
Colin, I like gorillas, they are gentle giants, but I'm not crazy about monkeys in general.
And the ripping off of the face, that actually happened in the U.S. A woman had a chimp as a pet, and one day, it apparently woke up in a foul mood and, well...
Same thing with Siegfried and Roy. One night in Vegas one of those white tigers, named "Montecore", thought to himself "to hell with this bull$#it" and clobbered Roy on stage.
Stick with domestic pets! Any cat bigger than you might eat you. Or at least consider eating you.
M.P.
Gog in ASM #103-104 was an alien baby, the only survivior of a ship that crashed in the Savage Land. He died, drowned in quicksand in ASM #104 but then popped up again alive with no explanation in the late 80s in (no adjective) Spider-Man as a member of the Sinister Six, replacing Sandman. This was only/t(e third Sinister Six story. Hobgoblin had already replaced Kraven.
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