Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.
***
In response to that, some Liverpool fans may have been asking, "How do you like them apples?" but someone who really was asking that question was Judith Hann, presenter of that night's The Risk Business on BBC One.
That's because she was covering Le Crunch for the Cox? as British and French apple producers went to war with each other to win the battle for the hearts and minds of the British public, with UK producers unleashing a brand new breed of apple upon supermarkets, to try and counter the seemingly unstoppable rise of the French varieties.
Over on BBC Two, Sir Hugh Casson was taking a look at Castle Drogo in Devonshire, the last castle ever to be built in Britain.
Constructed between 1911 and 1930, it was built by order of Julius Drewe, owner of the grocery chain Home and Colonial which is not a business I could claim to have ever heard of.
Matt Murdock decides to give up being Daredevil, as that identity's cost him the love of Karen Page.
Elsewhere, ROM and the X-Men are still tackling the Hybrid.
Thor's still searching for his missing father but, horror of horrors, the thunder god's been captured by the beings known as the Soul Survivors who seem to have total confidence in their ability to keep him prisoner.
Unfortunately, Biggie Benson's killer robot has no sense of romance and is about to force him out of retirement, in no uncertain terms.
The Black Panther's still enmeshed in the battle for King Solomon's Frog and is telling Zanda and Mr Little they're going to have to team up to deal with the Six Million Year Man.
I can't believe it took me decades to realise the Six Million Year Man's alternate name, "Hatch-22," is a play on Catch-22.
I have, at least, always noticed what, "The Six Million Year Man," is a play on.
It's the fight you always wanted to see - the Micronauts and SHIELD vs Hydra and Baron Karza.
To be honest, that's not a fight I ever wanted to see.
I would, though, love to see Baron Karza leading Hydra.
And I believe Conan's still having trouble with the city of short people who worship a giant bear.
Tragically, I've no news of what Captain Marvel and the Star Trek gang are up to.
I do believe it's the one in which Baron Blood returns and the murders soon start to pile up in a remote English village.
I can shed no light upon what Iron Man and the Dazzler are doing.
However, it looks to me like The Defenders have arrived in the home dimension of the various Lunatiks, only to find the Hulk and Dr Strange are already there.
In other news, I think the Watcher's still asking what would have happened if Dr Strange had been a disciple of Dormammu.
And I know The FF are up against Diablo, which is good news for those of us who've always been fans of the awful alchemist.
The Hulk's in Japan, fighting Glenn Talbot's flying tank, on the side of a volcano, while an ageing film director bores everyone senseless by going on and on about honour.
Sadly, things don't go well for Glenn.
Or for the volcano.
We also get a Team-Up tale that features Spider-Man, the Hulk, Woodgod and the X-Men. Now that's what I call an overcrowded story.
Meanwhile, in his own strip, Spidey's tackling the watery menace of Hydroman.
And, of course, we get more from the origin of The Cat.
Posts
43 comments:
I haven't got 'Spider-man & Hulk Weekly', this week. But here's 'Captain America':
'Captain America Weekly' # 14
The cover. Marvel UK finds a feature that's not yellow, and makes damn sure it is yellow!
Compare the flying reptile-birds in the original:
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Defenders_Vol_1_71
Also, Val's hair's changed from whitish to yellow.
The letters page isn't here, this week (Marvel UK probably couldn't be bothered inventing any letters). Nor is next week's cover depicted. Instead, the inside cover's a smudgy photocopy of an advert for 'Starburst' magazine.
'Captain America'
A doctor, and a Victorian-style 1980s policeman, holding a lantern, find a victim of 'The Slasher'. You know the policeman's English, because he says 'bloody' ( that's what 1980s Victorian coppers always say!)
The doctor decides to contact Lady Crichton/Spitfire, at her nearby manor house. Recently we've had a lot of titled ladies with aristocratic seats ("Suits you, Sir!") We've had Blade's Lady Marguerite D'Alescio, with her castle in the north; Lady Daemon, with her Scottish castle ('Savage Action', next week); and here, we've got Lady Crichton, with her stately home, north of London. Two thirds of these stories are Chris Claremont tales. But, I digress...
In respect of 'The Slasher', Lady Crichton/Spitfire says she'll call "Inspector Sweeney". Surely, she's not thinking of Regan is she? Imagine Regan telling Baron Blood, "We're the Sweeney, son - get your trousers on! You're nicked!"
Lady Crichton's aged father(Union Jack), in a wheel chair, claims that there's only one man who can stop the murders, and he's an ocean away. This is that point about Captain America being the only man for the job, which we've seen before, with Machinesmith, Batroc, etc.
Meanwhile, back in America, we've got an exciting, action packed scene, in which Captain America stops a couple of armed thugs, holding up an Off-licence. Most stories, at this time (particularly in Spider-man & Hulk weekly) have the beginning-middle-and end formula, whereby the first part's a bit boring, the second gets better, and at the end, you get all the action. Good writers, like Stern here, make sure the story's first part has plenty of excitement & action shoe-horned into it. I think Sterno must have been taking notes from Chris Claremont & Jim Shooter!
Later, Steve Rogers is - characteristically - late for a date with Bernadette Rosenthal. They are booked to watch 'Oklahoma' - much comment about Steve's old-fashioned tastes.
After the musical, at Steve's place, the couple are enjoying coffee, when the 'phone rings, interrupting their date. It's Jarvis, telling Steve that he's received an urgent coded cable, from England. Steve abruptly ends the date, telling Bernie that he must go to England at once, on "personal business". Bernie doesn't appreciate being treated how Peter Parker treats Deb Whitman, and snaps back that it doesn't matter, as she's got an old boy friend due back in town, for the weekend (a lie, to save her pride!)
Strangely, this thing about "old flames" happens in Spidey too when, next week, Deb Whitman's old flame, "Biff Rifkin", breezes into town, finally allowing Deb to teach Peter a lesson, for treating her like a doormat, all the time. But...I digress. Incidentally, would you class Lady Crichton/Spitfire as an "old flame" of Cap's - or did she just "Carry a torch" for him, a little?
The page count ends with Steve Rogers on Concorde, reminiscing about his time with the Invaders, fighting lots of Axis supervillains (illustration provided.)
'Iron Man'
By a strange coincidence, Jarvis is also on the 'phone in Iron Man, too. S.H.I.E.L.D. are trying to get a controlling interest in Stark International, and a loan shark got Jarvis to sell his shares, due to his mother being ill. The loan shark's name is 'Benchley' - is this a little in-joke, as Peter Benchley wrote 'Jaws' - a shark movie? But, I digress ....Iron Man smashes up the loan shark's office, but it's too late, as S.H.I.E.L.D. have already picked up the stocks from Benchley. In despair, Tony turns to the bottle ('Jack Powers' - which we all know is Jack Daniels!) Luckily, Jarvis is upset, and Bethany tells Tony not to...so, he almost pours a drink, but resists the urge - a great triumph! Tony drives off into the sunset, in a sports car, with Bethany Cabe.
Behind the car, a piece of paper, blowing in the backwash, says: "So long, J.R.!" Is this J.R. in Dallas being shot - or a reference to Johnny Romita J.R.? Or both? You decide!
'Dazzler'
Dazzler only has a few pages, this week. Allison's in some weird dimension, looking for the Merlin stone(s). Lots of images of her stern, disapproving father (c.f. Ms.Marvel, She-Hulk, etc.) are speaking sternly and disapprovingly. She zaps them.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the Human Torch leaves the FF, full of concern for Dazzler. Marvel still hasn't got the confidence to leave Dazzler two weeks, without some already established superheroes, to retain the reader's interest.
In the weird dimension, a kind of 'dark Dazzler' appears, to fight the real Dazzler. Only a few weeks ago, in 'The Defenders', we already had Valkyrie fighting a fake Valkyrie. Less is more, guys!
'The Defenders'
Arisen Tyrk - Lunatik - was King of Tunnel World. After a revolution, his personality got fragmented, into lots of Lunatiks. Like Moon Knight, Marc Spector, Steven Grant & Jake Lockley - but worse! The Defenders are in Tunnel World, trying to sort it all out. They meet some vertically challenged Tunnel Worlders, terrified of an undefined menace, named 'the Stain'. By coincidence, in Spidey/Hulk/Woodgod, there's an undefined menace, named 'the Scream'. Which is scarier, the Stain or the Scream? But...I digress.
The Tunnel Worlders & Defenders get attacked by some guys on flying reptiles, a bit like Zaladane's air force, in the Savage Land. In the end, the little people & Defenders get helped out by a monster, who's actually the Hulk - and there's also a guy who looks like Gandalf, but who's actually Dr. Strange. Hellcat gets clubbed over the head, by one of the Lunatiks, and they kidnap (catnap?) her. Nobody notices except Clea.
Phillip
Thanks for the latest mighty summary, Phillip.
That Captain America story's so weird. They've got the local bobby investigating a set of serial killings and then reporting his findings back to the local lord of the manor. I'm no legal expert but I'm pretty sure neither of those things would happen in real life.
With that Captain America cover, it's interesting that the original Defenders masthead was yellow and, so, Marvel UK compensated for its loss by making something else yellow instead.
You know... as I look at DD getting mauled, I can't help but that DD would have benefited from a pair of wrist mounted buzz saws like Gladiator.
This led me to think... after a nice cool glass of the un-cola... did any heroes ever adopt the "powers" of villains?
I mean, comics are chock full of villains imitating heroes, perhaps the most obvious extremes being Skrulls and the Red Skull with a Cube Cosmic.
But are there instances of vice versa?
All the non-powerful heroes (DD, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Black Panther, et al.) surely must have thought about acquiring some of the mechanicals of villains?
Wait - didn't Iron Man imitate one of the Dingbats by having roller skates? Or am I crazy...
And now I wonder what would happen if one were to imitate a Super Skrull? The power to imitate the power of imitation? Wow... I'm going to go munch on some uncola nuts!
Now that I think about it... why didn't all the non-super-powered heroes just wear Iron Man armor at least?
I could easily picture Wasp and Ant Man sporting the latest look in iron on the cover of GQ or Vogue? And they'd be infinitely more powerful!
We could easily picture Black Widow or Sue Richards or Wicked Wanda shown reading Vogue or perhaps a Cosmopolitan with articles about how a super hero couple does it while wearing iron suits?
The possibilities are endless here!
I vaguely remember Woodgod, and seeing him mentioned here, I wondered, "what was his deal?
Welp, scientific experimentation. That's all ya need to know.
According to the Marvel Database (and what knave dare question the veracity of the Database) this bugger can press 50 tons.
Whoa. That's fairly severe. That's like, middleweight, right there. I don't don't see him giving the Hulk much trouble though.
Don't even rate his own Wikipedia entry, alas. He was one of those far out characters the long-haired writers of the 70's Bullpen were tossing against the wall to see what stuck.
Lunatik also did not stick. I dunno what Kraft was smokin' but I'd like to have some. That whole Tunnel World business was pretty flakey (was that Kraft's plan for the character or did somebody else come up with that? Kraft had left by then, right?).
Phil, you would know this. Didn't Lunatik have something or other to do with Man-Wolf? Y'know, after he went all cosmic barbarian? Like, in space with a sword?
George Lucas has a lot to answer for.
M.P.
So Union Jack thinks only Captain America can stop the murders? Has he never heard of Captain Britain?? There's not much point in having our own home-grown superhero if we need to send for the American ones every time a crime needs solving :D
In those days only aristocrats were allowed to be British superheroes. Ordinary British people were only fit for saying "Cor blimey, guvnor!" or going around in mobs holding flaming torches.
Colin - I don't think Billie the Cat and Katie were aristocrats and they were British superheroes? Or has Charlie had too many un-Colas and gone too far astray???
Charlie - did Nighthawk obtain his powers from the villainous Nighthawk from the Squadron Sinister somehow?
M.P. - that Defenders story was written by Ed Hannigan. I think Stargod/Manwolf dethroned Arisen Tyrk/Lunatik.
Charlie - What about the Leopard of Lime Street?
Colin - As regards Marvel, Blade was a UK hero who wasn't an aristocrat. But he's the exception!
Phillip
Colin - Come to think about it, Blade's skill -set was spot on, for Baron Blood!
Phillip
I've just flicked through next week's Cap Weekly, and found this incredibly accurate transcript of English speech, of just the kind Colin mentioned:
"Cor, I never thought I'd be shakin' hands with Cap'n America. Me uncle usta tell me yarns 'bout you! You're in right good shape for an old sod!"
Phillip
Charlie, I should have said MARVEL'S British superheroes!
The mobs holding flaming torches would usually say "Burn the witch! She be a spawn of Satan!"
Ummm.... Team USA has a question, LOL!
Above "for an old sod" is the word sod OK in general conversation?
Charlie always thought it was a bit like calling someone, in a friendly way, a bastard or such if among buddies?
Similarly, do you guys use wanker in public? Or is it just among buddies?
Otherwise both words would be a swear word in the general public?
Sorry for being obtuse. But if Team USA makes an appearance at the World Conker Championships courtesy of an all-expenses paid sponsorship by SDC, well we need to have our cultural game down!
MP or KD - would you be my squire(s)? You can hold my nuts. Please contact me about soaking them in vinegar overnight to gain an advantage!
Charlie, the words "sod" and "wanker" aren't normally used in polite conversation!
And if you ever visit the UK be very careful how you use the word "fanny" because it means something very different to us - it means a lady's...er, front bit.
Phillip, as far as I can remember, the Defenders' Nighthawk was the same character as the Squadron Sinister's Nighthawk. He turned his back on crime and decided to become a good guy.
Charlie, the one hero I can remember adopting the powers of a villain was Dane Whitman when he became the Black Knight. He helped himself to his evil uncle's old armour and lance, then developed a flying horse, using his uncle's formula.
Freddy, from 'Rod, Jane & Freddy' has passed away. To Team USA, the show ('Rainbow') was famous (infamous?) for double entendres between the puppets.
https://news.sky.com/story/freddy-marks-rainbow-star-of-rod-jane-and-freddy-fame-dies-aged-71-12319314
Phillip
OK, so if Team USA happens to be winning the Conkers and we bust someone else's nut, we won't say, "Better Luck Next Time you ole Sod / Wanker!"
I'll have to take a look at rod, jane, freddy!
After the recommendation of "SUITS YOU SIR" I have high hopes!
Steve - I was checking and if me, KD, and MP (my squires - they'll hold my nuts, not my shield) travel to the World Conkers Championships it will probably be a couple thousand quid. You OK with that?
Colin - Well, I won't ask anyone to hold my fanny pack, LOL, though I am old enough to think they are quite practical!
Charlie, 'Rainbow' differs from 'The Fast Show', in that it was a (long running) kids show. It was about teaching little kids not to be selfish, and to share. The stars were 3 weird puppets of indeterminate gender. The central figure being 'Zippy' - a greedy, selfish, bullying puppet, who wanted the limelight all to himself.
'Zippy' had a weird, cackling laugh - worse than that of Sid James - which made everything he said sound like a double entendre - even if it wasn't. Imagine a laughing Davros, from Dr.Who, voicing a puppet - because that's what you were getting!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEzYX6CaxKs
Most of the show was quite okay, but I wouldn't go digging around for the worst bits! Rod, Jane & Freddy provided the musical numbers for the show.
I've just looked Rainbow up, on Wikipedia, and it seems the naughtiest episode was a special one off, made for the staff!
Phillip
I really like that Black Panther story Steve, mainly because of the way out, science-fiction aspect. "The Six Million Year Man" and "Hatch 22" sound like they could easily have come from 2000AD, and its striking how much Jack Kirby - in his solo '70s approach to comics - had in common with Pat Mills and John Wagner.
Or maybe that should be the other way round - how much they had in common with him - seeing as OMAC came a few years before Judge Dredd.
Colin, the (then) new Union Jack introduced in that Captain America story - the one who's adventures are currently thrilling comicdom in The Union - is a northern prole.
Miracleman, who was actually a Marvel superhero (; -
www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/last238heroes.htm#Miracleman
- wasn't an aristo either.
-sean
Sean - certain surnames originate in Yorkshire. For example, Brook(e), Haigh, Hirst, etc. Although Blade was a Londoner, his name is Eric Brooks. Hence, Blade is - by ancestry - likely to be a Yorkshire man. That young guy in the Captain America story said 'right good shape' - a true northern Yorkshire man, speaking Yorkshire dialect, would have said 'rate good shape' !
Phillip
Given the history of Britain, Phillip, I would suggest its more likely Blade had an ancestor owned by a Yorkshireman.
In that Captain America story, Union Jack's alter ego is called Joey Chapman... What kind of self-respecting northerner shortens Joseph to "Joey"?
-sean
Sean - Are you thinking about that documentary about Harewood? Certainly food for thought.
Phillip
I remember going to Harewood House as a kid, it having an adventure playground, as well as the stately home part. At the time, everyone was completely unaware that the Harewood family had been involved in the slave trade/plantations. The actor, David Harewood, explored this issue, relating to his surname and slavery.
Phillip
In 1995 William Hague was made Secretary of State for Wales and he was the third English MP in a row to get that post but he answered criticism by saying "I'm not English - I'm from Yorkshire".
Who couldn't love Zippy, George and Bungle? And 'Rainbow' had a great theme-tune too :D
I guess every country has a state that thinks it is not part of the country?
USA -> Texas
Germany -> Bavaria
UK -> York
Are you guys thinking that Blade originally honed his skills stealing dogs, then?
Thats wasn't much of an answer to criticism, Colin - whether he was English, a Yorkie, or even Welsh, either way he'd still be William Hague.
-sean
Charlie, when it comes to regions of the UK that don't think they're part of the country Yorkshire can get to the back of the queue and wait its turn!
-sean
I think I can figure out what "wanker" means, and it's connotations. I'm not sure we have an approximate term. "Jerk-off", maybe.
But "sod"? One source says it is a diminutive of "sodomite". If so, we do have a few verbal equivalencies in America.
These are freely handed out as insults, without regard to sexual orientation of the subject.
Still, The Who had an album entitled "Odds and Sods" which was a compilation of studio outtakes.
Hey, we got "long Live Rock" outta that!
So, the name of that album was vaguely obscene, eh? Knowing Townsend, that does not surprise me.
The English seem to have a genius for vulgarity, perhaps surpassing we Americans. It's an art form, really. This is the country that produced Shakespeare.
Sean, I dug Kirby's Black Panther too. I remember "the Six-Million Year Man."
He was pulled outta his "hatch" and brought back to the 20th century, presumably grumpy and in a bad mood after his eon-long sleep.
Don't even talk to him until he's had a decent cup of coffee.
He reminds me of Agron. Remember that cat? He was a discombobulated field of intelligent energy, one of our far descendants, who snuck into a corpse in our time to escape a dying planet Earth revolving around a sun about to blow up. "I will not be ousted from this era!" or something like that. Kirby's concept of the distant future seems dire.
Charlie, you crazy...my friend, I would be proud to be considered your "squire" in this event, but your "nuts" are strictly your own responsibility.
This isn't Florida, man.
M.P.
M.P. - Calling someone a "silly sod" isn't much worse than calling them an idiot. It's all about the spirit in which it's meant.
"Sod" also means a clump of grass/earth. Hence the famous epitaph found on gravestones: "Under this sod lies another!"
Phillip
I am sure many of you will agree with me that Biggie Benson has one of the best names for a fictional villain ever.
I read many issues of these titles, if not the exact ones shown in the post between 1986 and 1990, when a second-hand bookshop near my childhood domicile had a huge selection of British comics back issues dating back to the early '70s, which were priced - wait for it- at 2p each for any with newsprint covers and 5p for any with glossy covers. There were the occasional ones priced slightly higher, but still very affordable. For instance, I bought the first issue of Doctor Who Weekly there for, I think, 20p.
It's the first place I'm going when I perfect the time machine that I am planning to build.
Colin, there is a story that Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were in some film directed by an American who told Burton to "grab her (Taylor's) fanny as she walks past", and the entire set was shocked when Burton grabbed a different part of her anatomy than he had expected...
Charlie - the cover for the RAH band's single, the Crunch & Beyond, seems to depict a nut being crunched between two fingers:
https://hauntedgeneration.co.uk/
Phillip
Dave, I am always impressed by the ability of mobsters to get their hands on deadly robots. Remember Slugger Sykes and Replicus?
Phillip - It clearly is a walnut being crunched, lol, but not via the conker method!
Hard to believe this dude's song didn't go to #1 b/c Elvis died. Ree-nforces those two famous biblical quotes:
- Better to be lucky than good.
- Timing is everything.
And speaking of sod, lol... here in the USA we have sod farms.
You can buy like a 10' strip of sod, maybe 2' wide for like $6. I've used it several times to salvage my lawn which turns to crapola every few years.
Steve, was Slugger Sykes in the Maggia?
The "Maggia", to anyone who doesn't know (and probably doesn't care), was Marvel's version of the Mafia. They probably came up with a different name for the Mob because it didn't pay to antagonize those guys in NYC in the 60's-70's. They were all over the place back then.
The, er, "Maggia" tended to have access to some fairly sci-fi-type equipment. They even managed to briefly take over the Baxter Building, in an old issue of the F.F. that made absolutely no sense.
Fantastic Four Fan, if you're around you may wanna weigh in on this.
I'll bet dollars to donuts they deployed more than one killer robot, or hired the occasional super-villain. Guys like the Beetle, say.
But they kinda disappeared. When Kingpin became a big deal because of Frank Miller, instead of just a minor-league butterball, the term Maggia was obsolete, I figure. Maybe Miller thought it was dumb. If so, he was right. It was dumb.
On another note, Steve, Replicus wasn't dumb, he was cool! Built from alien technology, he had stretchy "cobalt" fingers and could fire, uh, "power blasts" from his head. I can almost believe he could give Thor a hard time for a few minutes, and Thor could turn most robots into a small pile of paperclips with one hit.
IIRC, a re-programmed Replicus played a role in the comic that featured Big John Bucsema's last Thor pencils. Comicsfan did a nice review of that.
He still had it, after all those years!
M.P.
MP, I don't think Slugger was in the Maggia but I couldn't say that definitively.
Charlie - You obviously know your nuts! At my school, an alternative to soaking your conkers in vinegar was baking them in the oven! On the subject of nuts, whatever happened to Beechnuts chewing gum?
For members of the blog with Scottish connections, it seems Zippy was orange because Geoffrey Hayes supported Dundee United.
To raise the blog's intellectual tone/level, here's Zippy knocking over Bungle's tower:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t9j9Sk2tkc
Phillip
M.P. - As regards Daredevil, didn't DD fight Starr Saxon's robot around that time? Or was it earlier? My Daredevil era's more Gene Colan/Tom Palmer, followed by Don Heck, then Rich Butler.
Only a few days ago I mentioned Lesley Judd and Blue Peter and now, lo and behold, BBC Four is having a kids' TV nostalgia night TONIGHT including an episode of Blue Peter featuring Lesley Judd which was originally broadcast on November 4th 1974, just 12 days before I bought my first ever Marvel comic (Planet of the Apes #5). The kids TV nostalgia night also includes two documentaries (one about Oliver Postgate and the other called 'The Golden Age Of Children's Television') plus episodes of Bagpuss, Ivor The Engine and the Clangers - don't miss it!
Colin - My first ever Marvel comic was dated the week ending November 2nd, 1977. What is it about late October/early November? Aged 8, long enough after September/just settled in at Junior school - the ideal time, perhaps? I just saw the cover of mine, and was magically drawn to it.
I saw that Celebrity Pointless episode you were talking about, a while back. Lesley Judd was almost unrecognizable - unlike Peter Purvis. Thanks for the heads up - BBC4's now my go-to channel whilst I'm washing up tonight!
Phillip
Phil, I was 8 too when I got my first Marvel comic.
But it wasn't me who mentioned any episode of Pointless Celebrities - I've never watched that show!
Colin - Maybe I am getting confused, and it was a different show. The guests were all paired up, answering questions together - I'm not sure if that's a clue to the show. I don't normally watch quiz shows, either, as I don't like them! I turned it on, half way through, and the nostalgia angle hooked me!
Phillip
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