Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.
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Ghosts was, of course, the most terrifying supernatural comic ever published because every single story printed in it was true.
I know this because it said so on the cover and I would never doubt the integrity of any company that would give me the chance to buy Sea Monkeys.
But this is where it all started for me; Ghosts #13, the first issue of this book I ever read, purchased from the now-demolished Sheaf Market.
Do the ghosts of long-gone stallholders now haunt that plot of land?
Who can say?
But I do know the dead haunt the pages of this comic.
And the first of its four tales is the cover story.
The Nightmare in the Sandbox sees an American agriculturalist who's moved, with his family, to Haiti, in order to teach the locals how to grow crops.
Sadly, it seems one of them is only interested in growing Evil.
Happily, they're rescued in time.
But the family dog isn't so lucky and is never seen again - although its whimpers can still be heard emanating from nowhere in particular.
There's only one thing to do. Call in another witch doctor and let her sort out the first one by hoisting him by his own petard - not to mention his own sandpit. It's quite a rare tale for a DC horror title, centering on a black family, as it does. Although the front cover seems to have decided to not let you know that.
Sadly, when he reveals a local banker's been stealing from depositors, that banker decides to strangle him so hard he'll no longer be able to speak.
However, that doesn't stop the puppets from speaking and, at the next night's performance, they don't hesitate to point the finger at him. This is easily the strongest of the issue's tales. However, it's also the one that least manages to convince you it might be true.
Next, we get The World's Mightiest Mystic, a one-page text story I haven't read because it doesn't have any pictures in it and my tiny mind can only read stories that have pictures in them.
Disastrously, for our crook, the car's metal is recycled into a new automobile. One which he just happens to buy - and it's barely five minutes after that before it starts to laugh at him and crashes itself into a cliff, killing him. I've checked and this was written well before Stephen King's Christine.
Readers of horror comics will not be stunned to discover that, when that soldier returns to the castle, with his platoon, it's a burnt-out ruin and has been for months. This is easily the weakest of the tales and, basically, just runs out of steam at the end, as though no one working on it was really that bothered with it.
So, just how terrifying is this comic?
Not very.
To be honest, despite DC's protestations, I'm not totally sure these stories really are true, and they're generally not that inspired either.
Also, there's no overall host in the style of Cain and Abel or Morded, Mildred and Cynthia, which was always half the fun of reading DC's horror anthologies.
Still, that's that book covered.
But that raises another issue.
Ghosts.
Have you ever seen one?
And, if you have, are you willing to share the details of that encounter, in the comments section below?
Anyway, I'm off now to watch Doctor Who's first-ever Halloween special The Halloween Apocalypse, even though it's not on for other eight-and-a-half hours. That's how much preparation I need for such a descent into horror.
Happy Halloween to you and don't let the pumpkins get you.
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13 comments:
The DC Horror/Mystery titles edited by Murray Boltinoff, GHOSTS and UNEXPECTED, are generally considered to be inferior to the ones edited by Joe Orlando, and I think it’s mostly true. Both editors employed many of the same artists and writers —both the good , the occasionally-good and the outright bad — so I’m not entirely sure why it should be that the stories in Orlando’s books seem to pack a more potent punch overall. Did the writers deliberately slant their story ideas along certain lines that they knew Boltinoff preffered (the stories in his books tend to feel a little bit sillier, more juvenile) or maybe the writers gave Orlando their best stuff for some reason and sent Boltinoff the leftovers? Or maybe it was a deliberate decision made by the publisher to have some of their Horror titles appeal more to a younger audience? It’s curious.
GHOSTS is, as you seem to suggest, hampered somewhat by the ‘TRUE tales of the Supernatural’ conceit. I admit to almost falling for it when I was a kid. The first story in the first issue I read seemed to be a TINY bit credible — along the lines of what you might read in one of those ‘True Ghost Stories’ books or in one of those TV programs about ‘Real Life’ Hauntings. But the second story was blatant unbelievable tosh, and my willing suspension of disbelief went right down the toilet. Naive 12-year-old that I was, I was outraged that they could claim the stories were ‘TRUE’ when they were so obviously bogus. Wasn’t that against the law or something???
From that point on, I made it a point to not even flip through GHOSTS at the spinner rack. I was happy to spend my Horror Comics money elsewhere, thank you very much!
I eventually relented, and today I own a fair number of issues. As usual with me, it’s all about the art. Tasty graphics by the likes of Nestor Redondo, Jerry Grandenetti or Jim Aparo make even the most absurd nonsense bearable. John Calnan, Jack Sparling and Bob Brown — eh, not so much.
Oh — have I ever seen a ghost? Hmmm…not that I recall.
b.t.
Oh, and yes, you’re spot-on about the lack of Horror Hosts. Of a piece with that whole ‘True’ thing, I guess. Wouldn’t do to have the stories narrated by a creepy caretaker or decrepit old witch or whatever, dontcha know. Verisimilitude!
b.t.
Perfect topic for a Halloween discussion, Steve! I've never opened a copy of "Ghosts", and was totally unaware of the claim to veracity. Right off the bat that sounds iffy. I stuck with the "House" anthologies- no claims of truth, just spooky goodness. But B.t. noted art therein by the likes of Redondo and Grandenetti- ok, might have to check it out.
Incidentally, this week I landed an ebay auction that included a couple vintage Dell horror comics. Hunting horror seems to be my current obsession; probably no cause for concern.
As for personally seeing a ghost- not me. However, my wife was very close to her grandfather. One day after he died, she came downstairs in their house and saw him sitting in his favorite chair. She's pretty levelheaded, and I don't doubt her. Besides, although I've not seen a ghost, I have experienced some mighty unexplainable phenomena (cue the X-Files theme music)...
On the topic of horror comics, my brother, in our weekly 'phone call, informed me that 'Monster Fun' is back!
https://2000ad.com/news/rebellion-announce-monster-fun-britains-newest-on-going-humour-comic-for-kids/
Also, regarding Warlock, M.P. hit the nail on the head. Also, to me, the only person to have played the part would have been Jim Starlin, himself - as Adam (& Vanth Dreadstar, for that matter) seems to have Starlin's face (when he was younger).
Phillip
Phillip, surely this Monster Fun news must mean it's only a matter of time before Shiver and Shake comes back.
Red, I don't think I've ever seen any of Dell's horror comics. I shall investigate them further.
Bt, my faith in the veracity of Ghosts tales was destroyed by it once featuring a story that only involved one character who died at the end of the tale. As I read it, I was sat there thinking, "Hold on. How can the writer know about this having happened if there was only one person involved and he died?"
Warlock also had Starlin's hair when he was younger, Phil, but now Starlin is as bald as a grape, and has been for many years.
On another note, I think a "horror host" is essential in these comics. Well, at least they make things more fun.
For me, anyway. I was always partial to Winnie the Witch.
Concerning sightings of ghosts, I have never seen one to my knowledge. My mother is not so sure.
On this very day (today, Oct. 31) my brother and I drove out to a very old little cemetery in Northwest Iowa, which is where we came from. My brother figured it would be a cool thing to do on Halloween. There are tombstones there dating back to the late 1800's. Sadly, many of them are for children. My brother says it was diphtheria, but it could have been many things.
It's a gloomy, spooky place, surrounded by untended land (a rarity in farm country) and dead trees. Some of the tombstones were so worn we couldn't read them.
I know that this place is not old by European standards, or even New England standards, but for this region, it's very old. Ancient, in fact.
Today I laid eyes for the first time on the tombstone of a man who was apparently my great, great grandfather.
It was a moving experience. He would have been my maternal grandmother's grandfather. I think. I looked at it for a long time.
Oliver Barkuff. Born in the 1830's and died in the 1890's. He died quite old, compared to most in that graveyard.
It's my understanding the Barkuffs were of English descent (his brother William is there too) but who knows. Is "Barkuff" English?
Anyway, one day, many, many years ago now, my mother was walking around there with her mother and her aunts (Oliver's granddaughters, I guess) visiting Oliver and the graves of other people who they knew or knew of. Whole families are there. Visiting cemeteries was a family ritual. Personally, I can take it or leave it.
My mother says she saw an old man in a very old-style suit and hat walking amongst the tombstones. He didn't look around, he seemed to have a very deliberate manner. Like he was headed towards something. She might have been distracted or something, but when she looked again, he was gone.
She decided not to tell her mother or her aunts about it. I myself knew these old ladies long ago, and knowing them, it was a very wise choice!
The place is in the middle of nowhere. Literally. Partially hidden by brush and overgrowth (don't forget the dead trees) and only accessible by a dirt road. You could see somebody coming from miles away. Hell, you could hear 'em.
But no other car was there, so where did this old man come from and where did he go? Into a cornfield?
Did my mother imagine it, or was there some old guy walking around in an antiquated black suit and hat with no car and twenty miles from the nearest town?
My imagination has been running away with me today.
Was that the shade of old Ollie walking around?
The sun was starting to go down, and neither my brother or I wanted to hang around there in the dark, so we headed back to Sioux Falls.
I insisted we make a beer stop along the way.
M.P.
Great write up Steve, per usual.
But Charlie ain't see no ghosts and ain't read no Ghost comic.
Charlie's idea of ghosts was Spectre and Deadman. But they had uniforms so I guess that don't count.
Charlie was scared once, when he was 6 though, b/c he thought there was a burglar in the house.
I have never knowingly seen a ghost. But I read a story when I was a child where one of the characters pointed out that any number of the hundreds of anonymous people you see in the street every day could be a ghost, and it really unsettled me!
I did once have a strange experience where, shortly after a family member passed away, I saw someone who looked IDENTICAL, but I'm 100% sure it was a lookalike rather than a phantom, as their behaviour was a) not very ghostly, and b) completely out of character for the person I thought they were!
M.P.
I loved your True Tale of The Supernatural. Man in Old-Timey clothes wandering the cemetery— there one moment, gone the next. Wonderfully spooky.
Years and years ago, the missus and I attended a small house party in — crap, I don’t even remember what part of So. Cal it was, maybe Pasadena — anyhow, there was a cemetery right across the street, and a bunch of us decided to check it out. As you say, the dates on the oldest tombstones were not exactly ‘old’ by European standards, but I was surprised to see that quite a few went back to the mid-1800s or possibly even earlier. And yes, when you quickly do the math and realize that the person buried there was only a child, often VERY young, it’s a sad, sobering experience, completely unlike the usual ‘Graveyard at Night Spooky Fun’ shiver. There were quite a few children’s graves there, seemingly not as many as in yours, so, probably not victims of a rampant, tragic wipe-out during an epidemic. But a reminder of how far we’ve come with medical knowledge, that children especially were much more vulnerable to disease in those days, when doctors and nurses didn’t even wash their hands as a simple, routine precautionary habit.
b.t.
"Other blogs" - who could he mean?
https://kidr77.blogspot.com/
Phillip
b.t.--
I enjoyed your comments as well. And I agree with you that we've stopped taking communicable diseases nearly as seriously as we should, even during a pandemic, for godsakes.
There is some sadness visiting cemeteries, but on the other hand they are quite peaceful. Comforting, really. These are quiet places. There was an inscription on one of those tombstones: "Weep not for him for he is at rest."
There is some comfort in that.
That said, I ain't hangin' around in any graveyard after dark. I don't care who's buried there! And it gets real dark at night out in the country.
M.P. is a superstitious cat!
Well, I'm kinda stitious, anyway.
M.P.
My only weird experience involved a cat. When I was about 10 my family went on a day-trip to the seaside and when we returned we were amazed to discover a cat in our house. All the doors and windows were shut so how did it get in? And I'd never seen this cat before so it wasn't one of the local felines. Anyway, the cat dashed out of the door and I never saw it again. Was it a ghost cat? Was it a timeslip or a cat from a parallel universe that briefly slipped into our own? Was it...A MOGGY FROM ANOTHER WORLD??? OK, I joke about it now but at the time it was quite weird and creepy, and I felt unnerved by the experience.
Colin, your ‘Ghost Cat’ reminded me of a strange incident:
One muggy summer night, my parents were spending the evening playing Bridge with some of their friends, and my younger brother and I went to the movies with some of ours. We got back to our house around 10:00, came in the front door, snapped on the lights and just about shat our pants. What looked like a big black blob of…SOMETHING was on one of the living room walls. Soon as the lights came on, it broke up into dozens and dozens of little black scurrying things that rapidly dispersed in every direction. Cockroaches. Ick!
We could barely sleep that night, for fear of the disgusting little bastards crawling into our beds in the dark. But the weird thing was, we’d never had roaches in the house before that and never had much problems with them afterwards. Not suggesting there was anything supernatural about it, it was just a strange one-time occurrence.
b.t.
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