December 21st, 1974 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

It's a tragedy that could make the hardest of men weep. Most pop stars are having a whale of a time at Christmas, as their hastily knocked up festive cash-in shoots up the Hit Parade and guarantees them an annual chart presence from now until the end of eternity, long after everyone's forgotten everything else they ever recorded.

But not Mud. The only emotion they were feeling as they hit the Number One spot on the UK singles listings, this week in 1974, was an empty sense of abandonment.

I am, of course, referring to the lyrics of their timeless Yuletide smash the world knows as Lonely This Christmas. Who can forget their emotions welling up, as lead singer Les Gray sat there on Top of the Pops, singing that song to a ventriloquist's dummy while polystyrene rained down upon him?

Not me.

But that probably says more about me than it does about the performance.

Over on the associated album chart, however, the pinnacle was held - as it had been for several weeks - by Elton John and his Greatest Hits LP.

Spidey continues his noticeably one-sided battle with the Prowler, by faking his own death.

Needless to say, this leaves his foe feeling somewhat traumatised.

When it comes to Iron Man, during a trip to his plant by the eternally unimpressed Senator Byrd, our hero manages to have his first-ever tussle with Attuma who, just for a change, is out to invade the surface world.

Iron Man, of course, is triumphant but Tony Stark now has to explain to the senator why the expensive submarine he was test-driving managed to blow up.

Thor, meanwhile, is still touring with the Circus of Crime whose Ringmaster has hypnotised him into helping them steal a big metal bull.

In a mystical dimension, Dormammu's still trying to gain access to our world.

And Dr Strange is still trying to stop him.

Frankly, as that cover makes clear, he's not doing a very good job of it.

But what's this? Umar's about to step into the ring and give the sorcerer a helping hand against her own brother?

All I can say is, "Thank God for familial betrayal."

But these are grim times for the Avengers.

With the defections of the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, the gang are now down to just three members. And one of those - Goliath - has lost his powers.

Not that he's bothering to reveal that to his other two teammates, because he's Hank Pym and if there's one thing Hank Pym doesn't make, it's good decisions.

While those three are bickering, Hercules, is still out to halt the rampage of the titan Typhon who, not content with having sent the Olympian gods into limbo, has decided to launch an attack on shipping in the Mediterranean.

Also in need of a boat is Shang-Chi who's in the Amazon and caught in the crossfire of Fu Manchu's men and a bunch of Nazis.

I do wonder where people in Dracula stories get their flaming torches from. In all my life, I've never seen a shop that sells them.

I once encountered a retailer in Sheffield that sold battleaxes and vacuum cleaners - which seemed rather an odd combination - but even they'd never thought to sell flaming torches.

Inside this book, Dracula and Taj use a mystical mirror to travel to 19th Century Transylvania.

And they're followed there by Drake and Rachel!

Elsewhere, Jack Russell visits an island, in search of The Darkhold. But, annoyingly, for him, while there, he's turned to stone.

Now I've got that ELO song stuck in my head.

Next is a short treat in the form of a chiller called My Name Is Death! by Stan Lee and Joe Maneely. It's a yarn narrated by an Iron Maiden and, from the names of the tale's creators, you may not be surprised to discover it's a 1950s reprint.

And, finally, this issue, Frankenstein's Monster is still hanging around with an Arctic tribe.

The Hulk continues to battle Dr Doom, and I'm thinking it's the issue in which he's close to killing the armour-clad clod until the lovely Valeria intercedes to convince him not to. An act which somewhat wounds Victor's pride.

But who cares about that when the real news is Daredevil's still taking on the Stiltman who's still teamed up with the Masked Marauder?

And, now, the Fantastic Four have their first encounter with the menace of Klaw who I have no doubt is out to steal a bucketload of precious Vibranium from Wakanda and the Black Panther.

Nine issues in and Marvel's adaptation of the first movie reaches its later stages.

It's that bit of the film in which the main cast are in a cave in the Forbidden Zone and discover a human doll that can speak!

That's followed by a one-page biography of Ron Harper, better known as Alan Virdon in the Planet of the Apes TV show.

And trouble's about to break out for Ka-Zar when he stumbles across a bunch of Germans and Brits who're still fighting either World War One or World War Two. I forget just which but, either way, it's a war and that's what counts.

And the curtain comes down on the issue with Diablo still holding Valeria hostage in an attempt to coerce Dr Doom into becoming his partner in crime.

Speak Your Brain! Part 94.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay

It's here!

It can't be stopped!

It's the feature that can never be hidden from and can never be hidden in.

Long after Mankind has left this planet, the animals of this world will gather at Stonehenge, once every year, to speak of that feature in hushed whispers deserving of those whose hushes are best left whispered.

You guessed it. It's the one in which the first person to comment below gets to decide today's subject for debate.

That subject could be almost anything. Therefore, feel free to make use of that comments section, and we shall see what shall develop.

PS. Am I the only person on Earth who thinks the word "develop" should have a letter "e" on the end of it?

2000 AD - November 1986.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Who out there likes breathing?

I like breathing.

And that's good news for us all because there was a lot of it going on when it came to music in November 1986.

For instance, the first half of that month saw the UK singles chart's Number One slot being gripped by Berlin with their track Take My Breath Away. However, in the second half of the month, they soon had to make way for Europe and The Final Countdown.

I suppose that makes sense. After all, Europe is indeed bigger than Berlin.

But while Berlin were failing to breathe atop the singles chart, the corresponding album listings saw the month launch with the Police in pole position, thanks to their Best Of collection Every Breath You Take.

Like Berlin, the Police soon found that lung power alone wasn't enough to keep them aloft indefinitely and they too were soon robbed of their crown. This time, by Various Artists with their latest platter that shattered Hits 5.

However, Various Artists turned out to be no match for Various Artists who quickly deposed them with their brand new album Now That's What I Call Music! Vol 8.

And what of the cinema? What was tickling our widescreen taste buds?

There wasn't a lot going on that could be called memorable but it was, at least, a month which saw the unleashing of Sid and Nancy, An American Tail and Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.

Having seen just one of those movies, I shall nominate the Star Trek offering as my Film of the Month.

But what's this? It wasn't only music and moving pictures that were vying for our attention? So was the sport the UK knows as football?

And it was doing it in a way that would go on to make history because November 1986 saw Aberdeen manager Alex Ferguson appointed as the new manager of Manchester United, replacing Ron Atkinson and launching what would turn out to be a legendary epoch in that club's annals.

But what of the galaxy's greatest comic? What was it up to?

It was, as so often, giving us a concentrated diet of Sláine, Ace Trucking Co, Sooner or Later, Strontium Dog, Judge Dredd and Rogue Trooper. Sadly, I have little else to offer, in terms of analysis of those issues but here are their covers in which we can, I have no doubt, find much to treasure and to delight us.

December 14th, 1974 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

We all like a good scrap and, half a century ago, as Santa started to get his boots on and charge up the batteries on his reindeer, the battle to be the UK's Christmas Number One was already starting to hot up.

Not that you'd know it from what was then topping the UK singles chart, because it was Barry White's not noticeably seasonal offering You're the First, the Last, My Everything.

And the summit of the accompanying LP chart was similarly devoid of festive spirit, held, as it was, by Elton John's Greatest Hits.

I don't mind that Barry White track, but singles I approved of even more on that week's Hit Parade were:

Gonna Make You a Star - David Essex

Juke Box Jive - the Rubettes

Magic - Pilot

Streets of London - Ralph McTell

Junior's Farm - Paul McCartney and Wings

How Long? - Ace

Killer Queen - Queen

Hey Mister Christmas - Showaddywaddy

The Bump - Kenny

and

Stardust - David Essex.

Should you wish to study the matter in greater depth, that week's UK singles chart may be found by clicking this link.

While the accompanying album chart is located here.

From that cover, it looks like we're encountering the shocker in which Magneto's turned out to threaten the United Nations Security Council.

The one in which in which Wanda gets shot in the head, which convinces Quicksilver to rejoin Magneto's Brotherhood of Evil Mutants!

I do believe Shang-Chi's still on the loose in the Amazon and, in the space of just a handful of pages, manages to be in conflict with crocodiles, Nazis and his own father.

Dr Strange, meanwhile, is still trying to prevent Dormammu from reaching a portal that would allow him to gain access to the planet Earth.

And, frankly, it's not looking good for our hero.

Things move up a gear, this week, as not only do Taylor, Zira and Cornelius manage to escape Ape City, they also head off into the disturbing wilderness of the Forbidden Zone.

Following that, there's a two-page text article about the Apes on TV.

Then, the Savage Land's getting distinctly wet, as Damon the Man-God rides around on his magic horse and causes no end of trouble for the locals until he's finally convinced to go away by someone called Lelania.

But all of that pales into insignificance besides what happens in the final third of this issue.

And that's because a sensational new series begins when everyone's favourite masked monarch Dr Doom gets his very own strip!

And, in it, he must contend with Diablo who's taken his beloved Valeria hostage!

Somehow, I can't see Doomy putting up with that kind of behaviour.

What's this I see?

Is it a cover originally drawn by Neal Adams but heavily modified by John Romita?

My knowledge of this week's Dracula thriller is a little limited but I do know it involves the vampire getting his hands on a mirror which doubles up as a time machine.

Needless to say, Vlad's determined to make use of it.

And he does.

Elsewhere, Jack Russell meets a man called Buck and, together, they set off in search of the pesky Darkhold everybody seems to want to get their hands on.

This leads the pair to an island.

And, I've no doubt, a huge pile of trouble.

But at least things look to be going better for Frankenstein's Monster. He has, after all, been befriended by a tribe of Neanderthals.

However, that's when another tribe shows up with hearts filled with nothing but aggression.

A brand new super-hero makes his debut!

And quickly manages to become a super-villain, thanks to his terrible plan to make himself look heroic.

Yes, you guessed it, the world most powerful window cleaner has finally arrived in the form of Hobie Brown who decides to put his gift for inventing things to good use.

But will that use be up to the job of battling Spider-Man?

Iron Man seems to be missing from this week's issue but we still have plenty of Thor to look forward to.

Sadly, that means we also have to endure Odin and his hissy fits.

The old duffer's managed to defeat the villainous Forsung but when he orders Thor, Balder and Sif to return to Asgard, Thor says he want to stay on Earth, and the king of the gods reacts like any rational person would and promptly exiles him and strips him of his enchanted powers.

Fortunately, there's always work available in a circus, for a strong man.

Not so fortunately, the circus Thor decides to join is run by the Ringmaster, and its entertainers have a noticeably criminal vibe about them...

From that cover, I'm going to guess Victor Von Doom's still trying to get the Hulk to be his deliverer of bombs for him.

And I'd guess the Hulk's not being overly helpful.

Daredevil, meanwhile, must confront the terrifying return of the Stilt-Man who's about to team up with the Masked Marauder.

While everyone else must confront the terrifying return of Mike Murdock.

And, in our final tale of the issue, we get to discover the mind-boggling origin of the Black Panther, as related by the man himself.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - December 1984.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

This month in 1984, the dedicated cinema-goer probably couldn't even make up his mind just what films he wanted to see in his local cinema.

And that's not surprising. It was a month, after all, which saw the release of such box office stardust as Beverly Hills Cop, 2010, City Heat, The Cotton Club, Dune, 1984, A Passage to India, Johnny Dangerously, Starman and, of course, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

I must confess the only ones of those I've actually seen are Dune and Starman and I refuse to vote for either of them as being Film of the Month because, if either of them is, there's something seriously wrong with the world.

I think it's the comic we've all been waiting for, when Marvel's adaptation of Buckaroo Banzai makes its sensational reprint debut.

Join it as Bill Mantlo and Mark Texeira reveal just how Buckaroo and his gang learn the Earth is imperilled by aliens.

And, then, I assume they set out to do something about it, or it wouldn't be much of a comic. Nor much of a film, either.

Conan gets his ninth annual and seems to be up against the Stone Men from Saturn!

Upon closer research, it seems the Stone Men from Saturn are not involved but, instead, the barbarian and his crew of pirates blunder across a ship carrying warrior priests intent upon protecting the giant statue of their sleeping god.

And what's the betting that that sleeping god is about to wake up?

What's this? An adaptation of Disney's Beauty and the Beast?

Even though it won't be coming out for another seven years?

That's what I call a preemptive strike.

But no! It turns out this book has nothing to do with the Disney film. Nor with any associated fairy tale.

Instead, it's a story of furry super-heroics, as the X-Men's Beast hits Hollywood, looking to hang out with his old mate Wonder Man.

I shall assume Wonder Man isn't the, "Beauty," of the title and will, therefore, speculate it's the Dazzler, who's signed up to perform with an, "experimental," theatre.

This all leads to her powers going out of control, causing her to vanish into thin air.

Can the mutant crime-buster find her?

And, even if he does, then what?

They said it couldn't be done.

And probably assumed it wouldn't be done.

But done, it has been.

At last, Mother Teresa has her very own Marvel comic devoted to her!

I can reveal almost nothing of the plot of this one - mostly because I don't have a clue what its plot is  - but I shall assume that plot bears a remarkable resemblance to her life story.

And if that life story doesn't bear a remarkable resemblance to The Sound of Music, I shall be highly disappointed.

Unless my instincts let me down, Spider-Man's 18th annual sees the return of no lesser threat than the Scorpion!

  

Not for the first time, the titanium-tailed terror's out for revenge upon J Jonah Jameson. And, this time, he's going to do it by abducting JJ's bride-to-be Marla Madison, and his son John.

But, if John Jameson's around, does that mean Man-Wolf will also be putting in an appearance?

Another new mag enters our eyes and brains when someone called Ataluma is enslaved by pirates.

After tricking someone called D'lak into killing someone called Thibbeus, she rallies some women to her side and forms something called the Sisterhood. Ataluma then murders D'lak and takes over somewhere called Ildana.

Much later, while completing her training, someone called Boronwe tries to cover-up for someone called Kelki when one of them runs off with the lover of one of them.

Frankly, I've no idea what any of that means.

But I'm suspecting this is the comic book equivalent of those dodgy, female-led, straight-to-video 1980s Sword and Sorcery films of a certain reputation.

First, Marvel gave us Shanna. And now it gives us Sheena!

Despite what the Ramones may have told us, Sheena is not a punk rocker.

Instead, she's a full-fledged jungle queen and, within, this adventure, the villainous Prince Otwani's plot to murder a king is successful but his plan to usurp the throne may fail because our heroine's rescued the shaman he was planning to use as a scapegoat.

Gray Morrow supplies the artwork. Therefore, it is, at least, guaranteed to be pleasing to the eye.

In the 1970s, Jack Kirby gave us Marvel's take on Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece.

Now, that same company gives us its take on the sequel to that masterpiece.

I'd reveal the plot of this one but I don't know what it is.

I'm going to guess monoliths and spaceships are involved. And, possibly, a trip to another world.

It's probably like Alien: Prometheus, or something.

I do know, though, that J M DeMatteis, Joe Barney and Larry Hama are the creative talents behind this version of the venture.

On the other hand, I have seen the movie version of Dune.

On the not-other-hand, I don't have a clue what that one was about either

However, I do know this version is 64 pages long and brought to us by Ralph Macchio and Bill Sienkiewicz.

Wait. Hold on. Wasn't Ralph Macchio the Karate Kid?

Speaking of action stars, the biggest of them all gets a Marvel book all to himself, as the company's adaptation of his second Conan film hacks and slashes its way into our tame existences.

In it, Queen Taramis promises to restore Valeria to life if our hero performs the simple feat of escorting her niece to somewhere or other.

The only problem is that Thoth-Amon is around.

And, of course, he's up to his customary no-good.

It's taken a long time but Marvel's frostiest fighter of foes, fools, filch-meisters, felons, Pharaohs, fumblesome fops, flops, flunkies and fiends has a book of his own!

Can the walking popsicle make it on his own?

All I know is he heads off to attend his father's retirement party but it turns out his parents still aren't happy that their son's a super hero.

To make matters worse, two people called White Light and The Idiot show up. 

Happily, he defeats those clowns but will his parents ever forgive him for using his mutant powers in front of everybody?

Forty years ago today - December 1984.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

Wait!

What is that fair voice which, like a trilling princess, calls out to me?

Why, 'tis the past.

And I know in which way it lies.

The Avengers find themselves battling the Fist of Maelstrom, which sounds like the sort of fist you wouldn't want to find yourself having to battle.

It turns out that not only did Maelstrom not die the last time our heroes fought him but he's alive and well and growing rapidly.

But how can those heroes defeat a foe capable of becoming as big as he needs to be to crush them?

Simple. By making him grow so large he loses all density and fades away.

But, hold on. Didn't Reed Richards use that method to dispatch a foe, just a few months ago?

The X-Men finally defeat the Dire Wraiths, with a little help from the forces of magic. And Rachel Summers joins the team then tells them just where she came from and what happened to her version of the planet Earth.

Meanwhile, a fair distance away from all that, Magneto's corpse is fished out of the ocean.

But it's a lot more alive than it's supposed to be!

Spider-Man meets a man who's always right. A condition which leads to him wanting to be alone, in order to escape the constant demands of his fellow man.

The trouble is, people won't let him be alone.

Especially the criminal underworld who think that having a man who's always right on their side may prove advantageous.

It is intriguing that his power is basically the same as that of The Answer who died a couple of issues ago.

Is this pure coincidence? Or is there some kind of link between the two men? One that we - and he - have yet to discover?

Reed Richards makes the not-so-shocking discovery that the evil warlord who's happily ruining an entire world is his own father.

However, is the ageing scientist really to blame?

Or is his devious wife the true culprit of the piece?

Iron Man comes up against the maddening menace of the Termite, a villain who, despite his name and helmet, is not the Ant-Man knock-off we might expect him to be. He, instead, has the power to bore through anything.

Does that mean he bores his way through this comic?

No he doesn't. In that regard, he proves to be more than adequately entertaining.

Not that Rhodey thinks so, as he makes a total Horlicks of dealing with the villain.

And his distrust of Tony Stark is growing by the hour.

Having teamed up with the Kingpin, Daredevil fights the latest chapter in his interminable war with Micah Synn.

But, seriously, how can it be taking this long for him to put a stop to the activities of a cut-price Tarzan clone?

Conan has plenty on his plate when he and a bunch of rival thieves decide to steal from a temple, in a tale of greed, lust, confusion, possession and repossession.

The rapidly ageing Cap and Red Skull battle each other to the death - and it looks like death has indeed come for the pair of them.

But then, in a cop-out and a half, Black Crow shows up, for no good reason, de-ages Cap on the spot, and saves him.

Beta Ray Bill returns when the warriors of Asgard join forces with Earth's mightiest heroes to battle Surtur's hordes on the streets of New York.

But, back in Asgard, Odin waits alone to deal with the fire demon, should he show up in the Realm Eternal.

And Thor, the soft lad, has managed to accidentally create a rainbow which the villain can use to get to that self-same realm!

Spider-Man finds himself in Retro Mode, as he goes back to this old costume.

And that's not all. Mary Jane decides to tell his everyday alter-ego her less than fun-packed backstory.

Meanwhile, the Hobgoblin is putting himself around town and cutting himself in on everybody else's dodgy activities.

It's the thriller you thought you'd never see, when the Hulk finds himself on a planet where everyone is stronger than he is and where he's no longer invulnerable!

Still, at least he's still got his looks.

December 7th, 1974 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

***

And now for something completely different?

This week in 1974, it would soon be time for something completely absent, as the last-ever episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus was broadcast by BBC Two. Still, not to worry. The gang would soon be appearing on the big screen, courtesy of their first true feature film.

In no similar hurry to depart, however, was Barry White who, that week, hit the top spot on the UK singles chart, with his latest smash You're the First, the Last, My Everything.

But there was to be no change in sight atop that week's British LP listings where Elton John's Greatest Hits maintained the dominance it had established the week before. 

Remind me never to try and kill Dracula with a battery-powered torch.

Contained within the pages of this issue, the king of the undead bumps off someone called Ilsa and turns her into a vampire.

However, she's well narked that her lost youthfulness hasn't returned and, therefore, allows Rachel to kill her.

Elsewhere, Andrea Timly captures Jack Russell, in an attempt to obtain the location of The Darkhold. Which I'm pretty sure is what also happened in last week's issue.

And even more elsewhere, Frankenstein's Monster is befriended by an Arctic tribe of Inuit but, somehow, finds himself being attacked by Neanderthals!

Ignore that cover. The scene it depicts doesn't occur this issue, having already been portrayed in last week's mag.

Inside, there's Hellenistic trouble for the Avengers - or will be - because no less a fiend than Typhon has decided to snuff out the Promethean Flame and, thus, make all the gods of Olympus disappear!

Can the returning Hercules do anything to put things right before he too is afflicted?

Back on Earth, the rest of the team have a major problem, with Magneto looking to push the United Nations around.

Shang-Chi, meanwhile is in the Amazon, trying to prevent his father from gaining access to a Nazi super-weapon.

And Dr Strange is still battling to free his girlfriends from the clutches of Dormammu.

He succeeds on that front. But can he prevent the fiery-faced fiend from taking over the Earth?

I think the cover makes it clear this is the issue in which Taylor loses his court case, totally fails to prove he has apelike intelligence and is sentenced to death.

I am impressed by how high Dr Zaius' chair is on that cover. I wonder how many steps he has to climb to get to it?

More pressingly, I do believe we see the conclusion to the Gullivar Jones saga, as the Earthman finally defeats the two-headed rogue who's been holding Princess Heru captive, and then liberates the people of Mars from his tyrannical rule. Hooray!

No sooner has Ka-Zar sorted out that unpleasantness involving the Petrified Man than we get the arrival of Damon the Man-God and his subsequent attack on the Savage Land. 

We also encounter our first encounter with Bobbi Morse.

Drama follows drama when Spidey manages to keep the Human Torch at bay for long enough to cure Curt Connors of being the Lizard.

And I do believe he does so by throwing a barrel of talcum powder on the scaly scalliwag.

Has anyone ever tried this with the Hulk?

But it's big-time trouble for Tony Stark when a small-time crook steals his attache case.

I don't need to tell you this is disastrous, as that case contains his armour.

And that means the crook can become the new Iron Man and go on a crime spree with it.

There's only one thing for it. Tony's going to have to don his original armour and fight the usurper, despite his bad heart not being up to the strain.

In Thor's strip, the thunder god, Sif and Balder defeat Magnir and Brona but it'll all be in vain if Odin can't stop Forsung.

Captured by Dr Doom, with the world thinking him dead, Bruce Banner is forced to build a great big bomb for the Teutonic tyrant.

Back in the United States, the good news for New York is that Daredevil defeats the Leap Frog.

The bad news for New York is Mike Murdock makes his ever-loving debut and shares his hip, swinging and zingy personality with us all. Like, it's a ring-a-ding groovy blast, oh Daddy-O.

Elsewhere, the Thing concludes his epic battle with the Silver Surfer.

Or, rather, it's concluded for him by Reed and Sue who finally show up to talk some sense into his head.

I do believe the back covers of this week's comics feature a house ad for a whole bunch of Marvel badges we can buy if we dig deeply enough into our piggy banks.

And blow me down if a reproduction of that ad can't be found by clicking right here.