March 29th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 50 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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Let us see just what comic book majesty Marvel UK has in store for us this week.

I never had this issue and, yet, somehow, I know what happens in it.

Which is that Peter Parker catches a cold and, suitably delirious, turns up at Gwen's birthday party, declaring himself to be Spider-Man!

My main memory of this, from reading it in the Essential Spider-Man books, is that, even though it was produced by the familiar team of Mooney and Romita, it looks drastically different to other stories produced by Mooney and Romita.

Elsewhere, Tony Stark's back in America but there's a warrant out for his arrest.

And to make matters worse, in his guise as Iron Man, he bumps into Atlantis' Warlord Krang who's fulfilled his obligatory function of kidnapping Lady Dorma.

And that can only lead to Shellhead having an encounter with the Sub-Mariner.

And that can only lead to a fight with the Sub-Mariner because any encounter with the Sub-Mariner instantly turns into a fight with the Sub-Mariner.

Thor's problems with the Destroyer are over, thanks to Karnilla releasing Sif's spirit from it.

But that only leads to our hero having to confront Ulik in Karnilla's kingdom. I tell you what, there's never a quiet moment when you're a god of thunder.

Is that a Bill Everett cover I espy?

And one that reveals nothing at all of what transpires within this epic tome?

It certainly is. In fact, within these pages, the Hulk concludes his meeting with the Inheritor who ultimately reverts to the cockroach he always was.

Daredevil's still in Canada and still battling the deadly Beetle. 

Given those two tales, it would be appropriate if the Fantastic Four are also up against an insect-themed foe.

But they're not.

In fact, their Baxter Building HQ continues to be invaded by the Sandman, and Reed manages to get himself sucked into the Negative Zone where he faces annihilation at the hands of a nearby planet.

It does have to be said that Reed does have a remarkable knack for being sucked into the Negative Zone and facing annihilation at the hands of a nearby planet. Just how many times has that happened to him, over the years?

Zut alors! It's the fight that had to happen! Fists vs feet! American vs Frenchman! Good guy vs bad!

Let's be honest, if Danny can't beat Batroc, he doesn't deserve to have his own strip.

Elsewhere, I think the Avengers are still battling the Scarlet Centurion and their corrupted earlier selves, in an attempt to save their world from their own tyranny.

And I do believe Dr Strange is in Times Square, having to fight all manner of menaces unleashed upon it by Nightmare who's somehow managed to take Eternity prisoner.

But this is it!

This is what we all came here for!

Marvel UK's first-ever creation makes his debut, as the totally original Apeslayer is born.

It takes a certain kind of nerve to get round a shortage of simian-based material by pretending Killraven stories are Planet of the Apes adventures but blow me down if the imprint hasn't only gone and done it!

Within this gripper, thanks to the pencils of Neal Adams and A N Onymous, Apeslayer goes in search of a man called the Keeper who raised him as a gladiator on behalf of his ape masters. And we get a potted history, from Howard Chaykin, of just how the apes and their tripods managed to gain mastery over mankind.

Following that, we find a report from the set of Battle for the Planet of the Apes. Sadly, that film lacks tripods and is, thus, not highly regarded.

Then there's Gil Kane's adaptation of He That Hath Wings which is about a youth what hath wings. 

Also, there's the Sid Check drawn Enter: The Machine Age in which descendants of survivors of a nuclear war are killed by their own machines who rise up, from underground bunkers, to take over the world.

Dracula's still being a pain in the neck and I do believe he's out to deliver as much suffering as he can upon the biker gang and man in an iron lung who caused him annoyance last issue.

Meanwhile, I suspect Jack Russell's still a captive in a travelling freak show.

And Frankenstein's Monster's a captive of a block of ice, having fallen into frozen waters at the end of his last adventure.

But he's done a Captain America and been in that block for decades - meaning it's no longer the 19th Century but the 20th!

What kind of madman wouldn't want this issue? It's a straightforward rule of drama that you can never go wrong with giant spiders.

Not only that but I believe it heralds the presence of Roy and Barry's take on Robert E Howard's Tower of the Elephant in which Conan scales the outside of building and, therewithin, encounters a mysterious prisoner from outer space!

Following that, we encounter a Kull thriller which bears the title Wisdom from the Grave.

And I do have to say I'm generally a defender of the use of speech balloons on front covers but even I can't claim it was a good idea to have them on this one.

I'm going to assume this issue features the second part of the Surfer's battle with the Badoon.

To some degree, I can't help feeling the Badoon are to Marvel space aliens what Batroc is to Marvel martial artists.

Regardless, after that, the X-Men must do battle with the Vanisher who's turned up at the White House for reasons I struggle to recall.