The 1975 Marvel UK annuals for 1976.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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Mariah Carey is a complete and total fool.

Every year, she foolishly declares that all she wants for Christmas is me.

While I understand the inevitability of such a sentiment, does she not know that, if she plays her cards right, she might also be able to land herself something almost as precious?

And that's annuals. Those hardback treasure troves of comic strip goodness that only Santa Claus knows how to lay his hands on.

But, first, let us discover just what was on television in the United Britain of Kingdom on Christmas Day, 1975.

BBC One was giving us such treasures as The Happy Prince, Rod Hull and Emu, Laurel and Hardy, Holiday on Ice, Top of the Pops, The Queen, Billy Smart's Christmas Circus, The Wizard of Oz, The Generation Game, Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em and The Morecambe and Wise Show, as well as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Good Old Days and Parkinson Meets Bob Hope.

I'm sure you'll wish to know the Christmas Day edition of Top of the Pops featured performances by such magical guests as Pilot, Ralph McTell, Mud, 10cc, David Essex, Johnny Nash, Guys & Dolls, the Tymes, Tammy Wynette, the Bay City Rollers, Telly Savalas, Art Garfunkel, the Stylistics and CCS.

BBC Two, meanwhile, was presenting us with the likes of Christmas Day Play Away, Prince Charles: Pilot Royal, Swan Lake, Great Big Groovy Horse, The Evacuees and Guys and Dolls.

Great Big Groovy Horse was, I'm sure all culture vultures know, a rock musical about the Trojan Wars. Yes, you can tell it was the 1970s.

And what of the nation's commercial ITV network?

It delivered such treats as Chipperfield's Christmas Circus, Doctor in Trouble, Captain Noah and His Floating Zoo, The Bay City Rollers Show (with Gilbert O'Sullivan), Christmas Celebrity Squares, Get Some In!, Love Thy Neighbour and The Taming of the Shrew.

I, of course, remember watching none of the above shows, even though I'm sure we must have had the TV on, non-stop, all day long.

It is interesting to see ITV broadcasting The Taming of the Shrew. I'm not sure I could imagine modern-day ITV doing that but perhaps I unfairly malign it.

That done with, it's annual time!

Despite Marvel UK publishing seven weekly titles in December 1975, there were only three annuals that year.

And you know what?

I didn't have a single one of them. What a nightmare Christmas it must have been.

The book dedicated to the world's mightiest super-team reprints three consecutive issues of The Avengers.

In the first, the vivacious Valkyrie makes her dynamic debut when she shows up at the Avengers Mansion and tries to get the Wasp, Medusa, Scarlet Witch and Black Widow to join her team of Lady Liberators.

But is it all a trap set by the Enchantress?

And who's going to stop the New Masters of Evil while all this is going on?

And is the Vision going to get dissolved in tarmac?

Speaking of the Enchantress, our second tale sees that villainess work her charms on Arkon, as the gang once more come into conflict with the inter-dimensional barbarian king.

And, then, our heroes travel to another world in which they encounter Brain-Child and must recruit the help of the Squadron Supreme, in their bid to stop him.

There, is, of course, a Marvel Annual, this year.

And, in it, the Chameleon tricks the Hulk into breaking his friend out of jail. An act that I suspect will attract the attention of a certain friendly neighbourhood arachno-sapien.

Then, the Sub-Mariner, Silver Surfer and Hulk help the citizens of a Central American country overthrow the tyrannical rule of El General.

Next, that trio once more band together. This time, to prevent military weather-control equipment from being utilised. This leads them into conflict with the Avengers.

And, of course, on top of that, we encounter multiple single-page pin-ups of the type we'd never be foolish enough to rip out of the book and actually use.

We kick off this year's Spidey book with the most disappointing crossover of all time, as Peter Parker's alter-ego and Dracula find themselves on the same cruise ship but never actually meet.

Rather more importantly, Spidey needs to find a specific doctor on that ship, in order to acquire medicine for Aunt May who's had another of her turns.

Next, we get a Lee/Kirby/Ditko yarn in which the wall-crawler gatecrashes Dorrie Evans' birthday party, immediately bringing him into conflict with her boyfriend the Human Torch!

And, finally, Stegron inflicts a bunch of dinosaurs upon New York!

And only Spider-Man and the Black Panther can hope to stop him!