Thursday, 6 October 2011

Spider-Man's all-time greatest villain.

Marvel Comics Amazing Fantasy #15, Spider-Man's all-time greatest foe
There're times in a man's life when he must set himself a task so huge it staggers the very senses. Steve Does Comics favourite Brian Blessed did just that when he set out to climb Mount Everest without shouting oxygen. Mount Everest then reciprocated by trying to climb Brian Blessed without oxygen.

Sadly that attempt ended in tragedy for Mount Everest and never again would its hubris know such abandon.

So it is that I'm setting out to discover just who is the greatest super-villain of all time.

But, to do that, I need a poll. And, to get that, I first need candidates.

And where better to start collecting candidates than with Marvel's flagship character Spider-Man? That's why I'm asking you to name your all-time favourite Spider-Man villain. In a couple of days from now, I'll use that list of nominees to create a poll for us to vote in. That done, I can then start collecting criminal candidates for all our other favourite heroes.

Spider-Man of course is remarkable for being blessed with a whole slew of classic villains. In its first couple of years, the strip gave us Dr Octopus, the Lizard, the Green Goblin, the Scorpion, Mysterio, Kraven, the Vulture and many more. The production line of memorable villains slowed after that but the Romita years gave us the likes of the Kingpin, the Shocker, Silvermane and the Rhino, while even later years gave us Morbius, the Jackal, Venom, that bloke who was like Venom, and that bloke who was, erm, made of bees.

So, that trip down Memory Lane completed, who's your all-time favourite Spider-Man villain?

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Avengers #132. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 8. More of the Legion of the Unliving.

Avengers #132, the Legion of the Unliving
Some people might pay good money to hang around in mazes but I don't get the feeling the Avengers would be amongst them.

Abducted by Kang, our super-doers find themselves separated, trapped in the labyrinth beneath Immortus' castle, with no way out and no choice but to roam its passageways until they find someone.

What they find are various members of the Legion of the Unliving who waste no time trying to do for them.

While Mantis and Hawkeye escape their respective confrontations unscathed, Don Blake's almost killed by Frankenstein's Monster until it occurs to him to turn back into Thor, Iron Man's seemingly killed by the Original Human Torch and, at the tale's climax, the Vision lies close to death, having had The Ghost pull the same materialising-inside-you stunt on him that the Vision usually pulls on others.

Meanwhile, in Vietnam, strange things are afoot with the Swordsman's ghost...

The Original Human Torch kills Iron Man, Avengers #132
Rarely have things looked so grim for our heroes as they seemed destined to die, one by one, in Kang's inescapable trap.

Admittedly, it'd do their cause good if they actually tried activating their brains at some point. I'm really not sure at all why, at a time of high danger, Thor decides to change back to Don Blake. He claims it's because Don Blake might have more hope of escaping Kang's labyrinth than Thor does but it's hard to see why he'd think that. It's also hard to see why, having made the change, he tries to  fight Frankenstein's Monster while still in his Don Blake guise.

Then again, Thor starts off the issue knowing that Kang's behind it all but, within a few pages, seems to have totally forgotten Kang's behind it all.

Don Blake/Thor vs Frankenstein's Monster, Avengers #132
It does feel wrong to see the original Human Torch as part of the Legion of the Unliving. Obviously plotter Steve Englehart flung him into the mix because he knows the Vision's the original Human Torch in remodelled form and, with Wonder Man in the team, the Torch might as well be there too.

But you can't get round the fact he just doesn't belong. The rest of the Legion of the Unliving are all to some degree misanthropes, while the Human Torch isn't. We're given the explanation that Kang somehow has control over them by virtue of being the one who revived them but - what with Torchie having been brought back and used for wrong-doing by the Mad Thinker in Fantastic Four Annual #4, and now this - of Marvel's classic Golden Age trinity, he does seem to have been the one most poorly served by later writers.

The Ghost vs the Vision, Avengers #132
Still, you can't knock the drama of it all, with poor old Don Blake nearly coming a cropper, Iron Man seemingly deceased and the Vision on the verge of death at the issue's climax, it's beginning to look like one of those days when nothing can go right for our heroes.

They might be up against the Legion of the Unliving but, at this rate, the tag, "Legion of the Unliving," could end up being a fit description for the Avengers too.

Monday, 3 October 2011

Avengers #131. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 7. The Legion of the Unliving.

Avengers #131, Legion of the Unliving
It might sometimes feel like the life of a super-hero is like mine - non-stop action. But it seems that even super-doers can have their hiatuses.

And Avengers #131 is just that, as the team have probably their least action-packed day ever.

Their tribulations with the Titanic Trio over and done with, the team hang around in Saigon, with not a lot to do but take stock of just where they're at in their lives. The Vision mulls over his love triangle with Mantis, Mantis mulls over her claimed destiny as the Celestial Madonna, Hawkeye mulls over where he fits in with the group as they are now.

And Captain America...?

Well, Captain America reappears from nowhere, in a silly costume and calling himself Nomad. It'd be nice to say his guise as Nomad lends him a certain dignity but the truth is that, looking at him, it wouldn't be a surprise if instead of "Nomad" he'd renamed himself Captain Cheesy, so corny does he look. And let's face it, it takes something special to make a man who normally runs around wearing a flag look cornier than usual.

Kang and Rama-Tut, Avengers #131Someone who'll never be normal is of course Kang the Conqueror who's in no mood for mulling. He and Rama-Tut have been plucked from their fight in the time-stream and taken to the castle of Immortus.

Immortus is, as long-standing fans will recall, the King of Limbo. Sadly, this doesn't mean he's the world champion at dancing under a horizontal pole.

It does mean that, like Kang, he's had past doings with the Avengers.

And this means that, within moments of meeting, Kang and Immortus have agreed to an alliance and, using Immortus' equipment, Kang brings the Avengers to the catacombs beneath Immortus' castle, where they'll have to face the Legion of the Unliving, a group of battlers Kang's constructed from the ranks of deceased super-beings.

Nomad/Captain America, Avengers #131
From the point of view of our heroes it's a strangely low-key issue. Up until the final two pages, when they're abducted, the only excitement most of them get is right at the start of the tale when Mantis gets to kick-up a mugger. And you have to hand it to the mugger; there can't be many street-crooks optimistic enough to try and rob the Avengers.

But even now, all is not quiet, as a figure appears at one point who seems to be the late Swordsman.

And just who is that hooded mystery-man lurking in the shadows?

Iron Man meanwhile is as much use as a wet paper bag, as he refuses to give the Vision any advice on his love-life. He's Tony Stark: international playboy womaniser. Has all that womanising taught him nothing of the ways of lurv?

But, with the Avengers in introspective mood, the focus is all on Kang as he refuses to accept he's going to reform, and sets about his latest scheme. You do wonder how block-headed he is that, even when knowing Rama-Tut is his future self, he still won't listen to any of his warnings.

The Legion of the Unliving, Avengers #131
I do like the Legion of the Unliving. The grouping of Frankenstein's Monster, the original Human Torch, Wonder Man, Midnight, the Ghost and Baron Zemo is so disparate it could only occur if justified by them all being not alive. And I'm especially happy to see Midnight back - not least because he looks remarkably like my own legendary super-hero The Masked Manhunter.

But can the Avengers possibly overcome such odds as a load of dead men?

Only time will tell.

But wait, there is no time in Immortus' Limbo.

Now we're in lumber.

Limbo lumber.

With linguistic skills like that, God alone knows why they won't let me write comic books.

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Forty years ago today - October 1971.

It might still feel like the middle of summer for people in some of parts of the UK but that can't change the fact that September's over and we're firmly into the month for ghosties and ghoulies.

But, like ghosts, several of our favourite Marvel titles disappeared in October 1971, only to reappear in November. No Thor, no Avengers, no Daredevil. I can only assume this had something to do with Marvel switching to a greater page-count for their titles, and some creators therefore not being able to meet the deadline.

Needless to say, such trials and tribulations for some of our heroes didn't put the rest of them off their fighting.

Amazing Spider-Man #101, Morbius and the six-armed Spider-Man

There're those who hate the six-armed Spider-Man storyline. There're those who love it.

Count me in the, "love it," camp. As far as I'm concerned, a man can never have too many arms - especially if he's coming up against the first-ever appearance of Morbius the living vampire.

Throw in an appearance from the loathsome Lizard and a great Gil Kane cover and what more could you demand of a comic?

Captain America and the Falcon #152, the Grey Gargoyle

Every time I do one of these monthly round-ups, the Grey Gargoyle seems to be on the cover of Captain America and the Falcon. How did they ever manage to get such a prolonged story-line out of such a workaday villain?

Conan the Barbarian #10, Barry Smith, the Bull God

Barry Smith's Conan the Barbarian takes on a real-life Bull God.

Was this the story that ends with Conan's friend being hanged to death? If it was, you've got to hand it to Roy Thomas. That's potent stuff for a 1970s' comic book.

Fantastic Four #115, Reed Richards turns against the FF

For all those fed up of the Thing turning against his team-mates, the Fantastic Four #115 sees Mr Fantastic turning against his team-mates.

Is next issue the one where the Invisible Girl turns against her team-mates?

Actually, I think it's the one where Dr Doom takes over leadership of the FF. That's the only part of the Over-Mind saga I've ever read.


The Incredible Hulk #144, Dr Doom

Speaking of Doomsie, it's amazing he had time to take over leadership of anything, seeing as he already had his hands full trying to turn the Hulk into a living bomb.

Iron Man #42, the Demon-Queen

I've no idea what happens in this one but it looks like another forgettable foe for our armoured Avenger.

X-Men #72, Dominus

The X-Men vs Dominus.

I assume he's called that because he likes to dominate people, not because he likes to play dominoes.

I really don't have a clue what happens in this one either. I've never even heard of Dominus. I take it they never invited him back?

Saturday, 1 October 2011

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 9: Phantom Stranger #29.

Phantom Stranger #29, evil Devil Dolls of Dr Z
Follow me into strange worlds - for I am Steve What Does Comics, and many are the comics I never had as a child.

This time out, in the feature the whole world's talking about, it's The Phantom Stranger #29 that comes under scrutiny.

Keen readers of this blog'll know I was a bit of a Phantom Stranger fan, even though he hardly ever did anything apart from appearing from behind bushes to give people a futile lecture before disappearing again.

However, there was an issue of The Phantom Stranger that I always wanted but never had.

And this was it.

My finely honed senses tell me it features an evil doll.

In fact, the Grand Comics Database tells me it features, "The Devil Dolls of Dr Z," which implies there were more than one of them - and that none of them were very nice.

Speaking as someone who remembers, with the appropriate level of dread, the killer troll doll in Dr Who's Terror of the Autons, and thinks Karen Black's homicidal Zuni fetish doll in A Trilogy of Terror is a journey into fear that only the strongest can survive, I'm always going to be hooked by tales of evil dolls - even if I won't be able to sleep afterwards for fear of what my own treasured dollies might do to me while I'm insensible.

But rarely has a comic book cover flung such an air of malice and menace in the face of a potential reader as this one did. And rarely therefore have I felt so compelled to buy a comic as I would've done had it ever appeared in front of me, demanding to be bought.

Friday, 30 September 2011

Avengers #130. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 6.

Avengers #130, Celestial Madonna, Mantis, Titanium man, Crimson Dynamo, Radioactive Man, Slasher
This is the tale that puts the Clobber into clobber as we get a tale involving no less than four characters in armour - although a fan of such apparel might be less pleased to discover the character who comes across as toughest has no shielding at all. And that's Thor who gives both Iron Man and Titanium Man a lesson in what brute force really is.

At Mantis' prompting, the Avengers go to Vietnam to lay the Swordsman to rest at the Temple of Pama, and then roam the streets of Saigon trying to find out if her memories of growing up there are reliable.

They aren't, and it's becoming increasingly clear that Libra's version of her origin was true.

But the Avengers have more immediate problems.

Thinking the group are there to arrest him, a villain called the Slasher decides to set the Titanium Man, Crimson Dynamo and Radioactive Man on them, telling them the Avengers have tried to frame him for a diamond theft. The trio are now working for the communist government and don't appreciate the Western heroes flinging their weight around on their turf. Needless to say it all leads to a punch-up.

Avengers #130, Thor at the Swordsman's funeral serviceBut oh dear, the Avengers are not in a happy place - and I don't just mean Vietnam - what with Mantis still not knowing who or what she is, the Vision convinced his recent tendency to freeze under pressure means he's going mad, the Scarlet Witch still jealous of Mantis, Thor and Iron Man coming to blows over the difference between justice and revenge, and the Swordsman dead.

Admittedly, the Swordsman's problem's somewhat bigger than those of the other Avengers but at least he gets a nice send-off.

I said that Thor gives both Iron Man and Titanium a bashing for their impertinence in taking him on - and he does but more important is that he's effectively the peace-maker of the day, looking for rational solutions to conflict where others just want to solve everything with a smack in the kisser. It's at times like this that his superiority over mere mortals really shows through.

One of the images that leaps out at me reading this issue is Agatha Harkness sitting in on an Avengers meeting; bringing to mind all those tales of Yoko Ono sitting in on Beatles recording sessions and annoying the other members by eating their biscuits. I sincerely hope Aggie's not in the habit of nibbling on Thor's Garibaldis.

The Titanic Three, Avengers #130
The Titanic Three? I hope there're no icebergs in Saigon.
But of course the main novelty of  the tale's the sight of the Avengers coming up against a communist super-group made up of what're normally villains. Clearly Steve Englehart's going for a bit of undisguised metaphor here as, motivated by a middle man, the representatives of two world-views take each other on with a level of hostility and distrust that's not at all necessary.

Whether Radio, Crimso and Tit, as I don't like to know them, are still villains is open to question. As you'd expect from their background, they certainly don't come across as the nicest people on Earth, but they do seem to be operating to a moral code that's been previously alien to them, punishing a man who's killed his wife, and wanting nothing to do with the Slasher once they discover he's a thief.

The Slasher, Avengers #130You have to say the Slasher's a genuinely nasty piece of work, leaving a trail of battered and hacked up people behind him. The sight of blood flying from innocent bystanders as he attacks them is genuinely unpleasant and, for some of us, feels like too real a level of violence to belong in what's mostly an escapist comic.

But just why is the Slasher referred to as "Buzzsaw" at one point? Is that his civilian identity's nickname, or did Steve Englehart just get confused? Maybe it's just me but "Buzzsaw" - bearing in mind the potential double meaning of his more usual title - would've been a better name for him than "the Slasher".

But then what do I know? Apart from that time I was wounded by shrapnel in Vietnam and had to fight my way out, I've never even worn a suit of armour.

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Swamp Thing vs Man-Thing: Poll Results.

Swamp Thing vs the Man-Thing
As the swamps of Sheffield bask in the hottest late September since records began, it's that time of day when I have to stop wrestling with that alligator, stop tying that anaconda in knots and concentrate instead on the matter at hand -- because the swamptastic results of our mudtacular poll are in.

And you The Public have decided that DC's Swamp Thing is better than Marvel's not at all similar Man-Thing - with Swampy winning by fourteen votes to nine. As you wouldn't expect for such an un-nimble character, Man-Thing got off to a racing start but, slowly, Swamp Thing caught up with him and overtook him.

Having only read one issue of Swamp Thing but numerous issues of Mike Ploog's Man-Thing, I can't deny that when it comes to scientists turned into mud monsters after jumping into a swamp when their work on a secret formula was sabotaged, I have a bias in favour of Ted Sallis' carrot nosed alter-ego and am therefore disappointed not to see him triumph.

Incredible Hulk #121, the Glob
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On the other hand, given the reverence people tend to have for Bernie Wrightson's Swamp Thing, I did fear Manny wouldn't get a single vote apart from my own. And so, seeing Swampy at least put up a good fight, gives me great cheer.

Of course, all true lovers of things that go glump in the night know the pair of them'd be flattened by the Glob from the old Hulk comics.

But clearly that's a poll for another day.