January 16th, 1980 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Beware the Death Mist!

I know I am. That's why I won't go near it.

But Flash Gordon's made of sterner stuff. That's why he has his own movie serial and I don't.

You guessed it. On this night in 1980, BBC Two was again showing Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe and, this episode, if its title's to be believed, he was indeed up against that murderous miasma.

Despite its fearsome-sounding name, I suspect he still somehow came through it unscathed.

With total inevitability, that episode was followed, immediately, by an episode of Pride and Prejudice.

Flash Gordon and Pride and Prejudice, two franchises that will forever be associated with each other in people's minds.

Over on the UK singles chart, after ten weeks on the hit parade, the Pretenders' Brass in Pocket suddenly leapt to Number One, knocking Pink Floyd off the top spot and providing that decade with its first new Number One.

Unless, of course, you take the view that the 1980s began in 1981.

Whether you do or don't, it was a week of perfect triumph for the Pretenders because their self-titled album simultaneously smashed straight in at the very top of the UK album chart.

I have a copy of that album.

And I've just realised I've never actually played it.

My knowledge of what happens on that Pretenders album may be almost zero, but my knowledge of what happens in this issue is even less.

I gather that Luke Skywalker gets to splash around in some water with a homicidal knife-wielder.

I do know, though, that this is the book's 99th issue and it has to be congratulated because not many Marvel UK mags ever reached the century mark.

In fact, off the top of my head, Mighty World of Marvel, Spider-Man Comics Weekly, The Avengers and Planet of the Apes are the only others I can think of that managed it.

It is, though, questionable whether Deathlok will live to see that 100th issue, as he spends this week's offering being being chased around by a tank.

Scorpio turns up at Kyle Richmond's country retreat, in search of its owner, only to find the Defenders are there.

Cue the obligatory scrap but what can the astrologically obsessed villain want with Kyle?

Elsewhere, in his own strip, the Hulk's still in El Dorado and meeting the mysterious trio known as They.

You do wonder what kind of people would refer to themselves as, "They," rather than, "Us."

The Black Knight's in a mystical realm, his quest for King Arthur leading him into the clutches of a fire-breathing dragon.

Elsewhere, a villain whose name totally escapes me has cured Ant-Man's problem of being permanently stuck at insect size.

But there's a catch. He's going to kill the Wasp unless Ant-Man helps him break into the Avengers Mansion.

And Loki's still in the process of trying to trick the Silver Surfer into fighting Thor.

Hooray! The Ogrons make the front cover!

I've always assumed the Ogrons were the show's attempt to jump on the Planet of the Apes bandwagon but that doesn't mean that I didn't love them and that they shouldn't bring them back.

I do recognise that cover shot of the Doctor from Day of the Daleks in which he attempts to flee the Ogrons on a motor tricycle so slow that, even at walking pace, the actors playing the Ogrons are having difficulty avoiding catching up with it.

Anyway, my knowledge of this issue's contents is sparse but I do know that in City of the Damned, the Doctor's having trouble with a tank.

And he doesn't even have a motor tricycle to flee on!

But, first Deathlok and now the Doctor. I think it's about time they banned people from having tanks.

By the looks of it, Spidey's about to come up against the Iguana, product of yet another of Curt Connors' ill-advised lab experiments. Will the man never learn his lesson?

I think we all know the answer to that one.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - January 1980.

Tremble with awe, for it is time for me to once more investigate Marvel Comics' less popular titles of forty years ago.

Upon encountering everyone's favourite resident of the Everglades, panic-stricken scientists do what any of us would and teleport him to the Himalayas where he's mistaken for a yeti, massacres a pack of wolves, slaughters a bear and helps foil a murder plot.

Life's never dull when you're a muck monster.

Shang-Chi and Blackjack Tarr blunder around in the swamps and jungles of South America, seeking out Fu Manchu's secret base there, while Reston and Leiko head off for Casablanca.

I'm assuming Reston and Leiko are on a mission and not just off on their holidays.

I do have to say those are very small alligators. I reckon even I could fight them off.

There's a hen-pecked accountant on a homicidal rampage - and he's doing it while dressed as a clown!

I've no doubt Spider-Woman quickly balances his books for him.

The male Defenders are in a mystical realm and, judging by that cover, things aren't going well for them.

More interestingly to me, back on Earth, the female Defenders find themselves in a town whose entire distaff population are under the control of the Mandrill.

And, of course, it's not long before the female Defenders are too.

Except for the Wasp who's going to have to hold the fort on her own.

I don't have a clue what happens in this tale but I've included it purely because it features a villain called Dr Time which is the sort of name a DC villain would have. It therefore appeals to me.

Much to my surprise, Marvels Battlestar Galactica is still going, which is more than it looks like we'll soon be able to say for Starbuck.

I do wonder if anyone in any Battlestar Galactica story ever said the immortal words, "OK, Boomer."

Then again, did anyone ever ask Starbuck for a coffee?

Not content with drawing this month's Daredevil, Steve Ditko also does the duties for Captain Marvel.

I suppose that's appropriate, as Jim Starlin's reinvention of Mar-Vell clearly owed a debt to Ditko's Captain Atom.

In this thrilling tale, the captain's recruited by the residents of another dimension, to help liberate them from some blokes who have some shadow things on their side or something. Meanwhile, the good guys can turn into shadows as well. Or something.

As you can see, I've a firm grip on what this tale's about.

Things are getting dramatic in the world of the Ghost Rider when the flame headed fighter of injustice finds himself up against a man who's created a nuclear-powered battle suit and is now going to show everyone the danger of nuclear power - by blowing things up with it!

Forty years ago today - January 1980.

Blog posts!

They need great openings, to draw the reader in and give him or her a reason to continue.

This post doesn't have one.

It's doomed! Doomed!

And so is the spirit of law and order in New York City because the Grey Gargoyle's on the rampage!

And he's not at all pleased when he finds out that, in his absence, his flat's been rented out to a random woman - and she's thrown away all his vital chemicals, to make room for her drinks cabinet!

Predictably, the Avengers make a right old mess of trying to deal with a villain they should be able to flatten in about two seconds.

The rest of the Fantastic Four are on the brink of death from old age - and only the Human Torch can save them.

But, first, he has to deal with a robot Skrull who's been left behind by his colleagues.

The good news is Torchie's got a robot of his own on his side, in the form of HERBIE the contractual obligationbot.

The Hulk finally deals with Tyrannus and his dreams of taking over the world with his magic flame in the Andes.

Somehow, after the end of the fight, the Hulk and Goldbug end up in New York where the villain bumps into Luke Cage and Iron Fist who have a grudge against him for some reason I can't recall.

Tony Stark travels to China to deal with an evil demon that's inconveniently killing members of his workforce there.

And it's all the fault of the company computer.

Only days after talking about Spider-Man tackling the thief who killed Uncle Ben, in Marvel UK's Spectacular Spider-Man Weekly, I'm at it again. Thus is the degree to which the British outfit has caught up with its American parent.

Morbius is back in town - and this time, he's cured of his vampirism, by being struck by lightning.

Why do I get the feeling it won't last?

Al Milgrom doing his Steve Ditko impersonation on that cover there.

It's all action as Thor returns to the Eternals' home base of Olympia, only to discover Odin, Zeus and the combined forces of Olympus and Asgard have decided to invade it. We're definitely going to need a score card to keep track of this one.

Captain America and the Punisher are after the same villains, which means we get the inevitable fight between the pair before they team up to mete out justice.

The Punisher's as annoying as ever in this one. Why Cap doesn't just smash his face in is anyone's guess.

Conan becomes the bodyguard of some queen or other in possibly the most racist comicbook tale in history.

Genuinely, virtually every single caption and speech bubble mentions skin colour.

As it's adapted from a tale by L Sprague DeCamp and Lin Carter, I shall be kind and assume Rascally Roy's merely being faithful to the source material which is attempting to be faithful to poor old REH.

I do believe this is the first time we encounter Kitty Pryde, when both the X-Men and Hellfire Club try to recruit her to their respective schools.

Steve Ditko suddenly turns up on the art, as Matt Murdock suddenly loses his memory and inadvertently relives the latter days of his father, by becoming a boxer who's ultimately ordered to throw a fight.

During all this, does no one watching him box notice the hot new slugger making all the headlines is the high-profile lawyer Matt Murdock who's not exactly kept out of the media, himself, over the years?

January 9th, 1980 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Have you ever felt swindled?

I know I have.

I felt swindled on this very evening in 1980 when BBC Two was showing the 1940s cinema serial Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe.

Despite its title, Flash Gordon at no point in it conquers the Universe. How was I going to ever overcome such disappointment?

I wasn't.

I still haven't.

Still, at least I could take solace in the pages of that week's Marvel UK output.

That cover may hint at excitement but the truth is that, inside, Luke's complaining that he feels bored since he destroyed the Death Star and now has no one to kill.

Charlie-27 certainly has someone to kill. Granted, it's just a computer because, for some reason, it's attacking him and endangering Vance Astro. Can the Jovial Jovian stop it in time?

Of Deathlok's affairs, I know nothing this week but I do know our tale of the Watcher covers events when another planet's about to smash into the Earth.

Needless to say, everyone's convinced we're all going to die - except for one man who has faith that God will save us all.

And then it turns out it's not a planet. It's an alien spaceship, here on a mission of friendship and we're not going to die.

At this point, the man starts telling everyone else off for not having faith, like he did, and they all agree that he was right and they should have listened to him, even though he wasn't right and there was no reason at all to listen to him.

The Hulk and Goldbug are in the Andes, meeting the enigmatic "They" for the first time.

Still trapped at insect size, Ant-Man and the Wasp have to survive an attack by an angry kitten.

When you write sentences like that, you suddenly realise why Ant-Man's strip never took off.

The Black Knight and Captain Britain are about to set off in search of King Arthur.

Loki decides to recruit the Silver Surfer, in order to get him to fight Thor.

And, now that the Red Rajah's been defeated, the Defenders reel with shock as Dr Strange announces he's quitting the gang.

Not only that but so are Luke Cage and the Red Guardian!

How can the non-team possibly survive such a threat to their existence?

It's good news for Charlie, as the Doctor finally makes the front cover of his own comic.

My information about this week's contents is sketchy but who cares about that? All that matters is we have a chance to win one of those horizontal Kodak cameras which took terrible pictures and were all the rage in the very early 1980s.

Devoid of his super-powers, Spidey's trailing the man who killed Uncle Ben, all the way back to Aunt May's old house. Can our hero possibly stop him, without his special abilities?

Elsewhere, Iron Man's up against the Super-Adaptoid in his brand new - and far more exciting - incarnation as the skeletal Cyborg.

Of the other strips featured in this issue, I can say nothing.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - January 1970.

A wise man once asked, "War! What is it good for?"

He then claimed it was good for absolutely nothing.

He was, of course, wrong because it's useful for giving people things to write songs about.

And proof of that was handed out in January 1970 when Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris reigned supreme atop the UK singles chart for the first half of that month. However, it then had to make way for Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) by Edison Lighthouse, for the second half of the month, meaning it was a spell in which love and war held equal sway over the singles chart.

But neither love nor war could compete with the power of the Beatles when it came to the British LP chart, and the Fab Four spent the whole of January at Number One with their last recorded album Abbey Road.

So, that was the fate of the popular.

But what of things that were not so popular? What of Marvel's less successful titles which bore that month's cover date?

Well, clearly, some of them were less successful than might be thought because, suddenly, both Captain Marvel and Nick Fury had lost their books. Would they ever recover from this ignominy?

Yes they would but not for a while.

Not content with thrilling us with the adventures of Kid Colt and the Two-Gun Kid, Marvel now treats us to the escapades of the Ringo Kid, a character I know nothing about.

In fact, so ignorant am I that, up until now, I think I'd always assumed he was an actual real historical figure and not a Marvel comics character.

Happily, I am fully aware that Kid Colt and the Two-Gun Kid were not real.

I do suspect that's a Joe Maneely cover, leading me to deduct that this is a reprint mag.

The Surfer takes on the Abomination in the streets of London, thanks to a bunch of occultists.

But, of course, the scaly fiend proves no match for the pewter powerhouse.

Now unable to breathe underwater, the Sub-Mariner's trapped on land and hounded from pillar to post, causing Dorma to threaten war if he's not handed over to the Atlanteans immediately.

With total predictability, things get out of hand very quickly and, the next thing you know, New York's being attacked by giant sea creatures, with the Atlanteans and humans all battling to stop them.

It's the launch of one of my favourite Marvel monster comics of the 1970s, as Where Monsters Dwell gives us three tales of terror.

First, we get a young couple who revive a Cyclops and then have to figure out what to do with it.

Next, an explorer revives an alien called Gorgolla who shows his gratitude by proceeding to summon his people to invade Earth...

...only to discover they've all turned into pacifists while he's been away!

Finally, we get Gor-Kill, a gaseous alien who's using a new home in a dam to harass the locals.

Needless to say, a good dose of dynamite soon stymies his plans.

Fifty years ago this month - January 1970.

Time may be a relative but I'll be a monkey's uncle if I understand a word of what I'm about to say in this paragraph. That's because I'm about to say that, in January 1970, the Unix time epoch was reached at 00:00:00 UTC.

I'm sure that's a pivotal moment in human history but I don't have a clue why.

But I do, at least, understand one thing that was pivotal - and that's that, in the UK, that month, the half crown coin ceased to be legal tender.

Admittedly, I lack all understanding of what a half crown was actually worth. Knowing the old Imperial monetary system, it was probably worth fifteen eighths of a quarter of five half-sovereign pieces or something that was equally nice and easy to calculate when trying to pay for something in a shop.

In a rather more user-friendly vein, were the Jackson 5 who, that January, scored their first ever Number One single on the Billboard Hot 100 with I Want You Back.

The cinemas, meanwhile, were seeing the release of two horror movies.

The first was Scream and Scream Again which I think is about rubber people committing murders while Amen Corner keep randomly appearing, to sing a song, for no noticeable reason.

The second was The Dunwich Horror. My horror senses tell me it was almost certainly an adaptation of the HP Lovecraft story of the same name. I think I've seen it but can't be certain.

Slightly less horrifically, the month also saw the release of the movie MASH.

But, Reader, can you guess in advance what the link is between MASH and one of the comics I'm about to look at below?

This is that very link because this issue appears in a 1974 episode of the MASH TV show where it's seen in the hand of a sleeping Radar O'Reilly. The Grand Comics Database really is the fount of unlikely knowledge.

Is this the first appearance of Zodiac? I'm fairly certain it's not the first appearance of Scorpio.

I could regale you with details of this tale but I must confess that, even though I've read it on more than one occasion, I don't remember anything about it.

I know Rick Jones is in it and the cover tells me Captain Marvel is too.

I think the story might begin with Rick creeping around on the roof of the Avengers Mansion, in a furtive manner.

There you go. It would appear Rick Jones is the most memorable element in this tale. It must be a classic.

If I remember right, some petty thug's given super-strength, by a mad scientist, so he can beat-up Captain America but, with the sort of luck only Stan Lee can bestow upon a man, the place where they're fighting just happens to be randomly blessed with the presence of that thug's son.

Needless to say, this revelation makes the bruiser lose all interest in the scrap, and Cap lives to fight another day.

Daredevil takes on Crime-Wave in a tale I'm struggling to recall anything of.

In fact, I'm struggling to even recall Crime-Wave. I get the feeling he was probably stuck behind the Masked Marauder in the queue to gain entry to the Super-Villain Hall of Fame.

Hooray! Agatha Harkness makes her sorcerous debut, as the Frightful Four decide to launch their latest attack and she makes sure they live to regret it.

It's another belter, as the Leader steals the government's Murder Module and attacks the Hulk with it.

Attacking the Hulk with a notoriously unstable mode of transport may not be the best idea any human being ever had.

I do always wonder, though, why the Leader steals the Murder Module. Can he really not build one of his own?

This is, of course, part of the brief run of stories in which the Hulk retains Bruce Banner's intelligence, except at times of high agitation.

Tony Stark decides to give the job of Iron Man to boxer Eddie March, not realising Eddie's been told that another blow to the head could kill him.

It's the tale where Spidey effectively announces to the world that he's Peter Parker, by telling everyone that he recognised the Chameleon in a crowd because he was disguised as Peter Parker, and Peter Parker's the one person Spidey knows he couldn't possibly be.

Strangely enough, no one draws the obvious conclusion from this statement, even though there's only one conclusion that could be drawn from it.

My memories of this are fuzzy. Does a dying billionaire kidnap Thor so he can have his mind transferred into the thunder god's body, and it turns out his device doesn't work on gods?

I've never read this tale, and Sunfire's in it, so I'm not likely to.

I gather, though, from the cover, that he's now causing maximum irritation in America?

January 2nd, 1980 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Have you ever been stuck on a train with a mummified caveman who's been possessed by an alien, while a Rasputin lookalike blunders around being weird?

If so, this night in 1980 must have felt like they'd made a movie of your life because that was when BBC One had the good sense to broadcast the magnificent madness of Horror Express, surely the greatest faux Hammer film of them all.

That's right. That means it's even better than The Creeping Flesh and The Blood Beast Terror.

How we gasped as Christopher Lee played a good guy, Peter Cushing played someone else, and Telly Savalas played a Cossack captain determined to completely take over the movie, despite only showing up halfway through it.

But it's time now to climb into our own Horror Express and ride it into the Dark Tunnel of Nostalgia, to see what other triumphs were dwelling within that fateful week.

I've not the slightest idea what happens in this issue's Star Wars tale but I'm working on the assumption that Han and Chewie still have an unconscious Wookie in their cargo hold.

Why they have it, I cannot say.

How they dispose of it, I also cannot say.

Whisper it quietly but I think the Guardians of the Galaxy may have finally defeated the Reavers of Arcturus and are now getting a bit of rest and recuperation.

Deathlok, on the other hand, is in no such mood for relaxation. He's in a right old mood.

And that mood gets even worse when he stumbles across a copy of Frankenstein in an abandoned library and takes it personally.

Which tale the Watcher's telling us this week is unknown to me but I'm sure its moral will well serve all who read it.

The Hulk and Goldbug arrive in El Dorado, unsuspecting of the sinister scheme which has been hatching there.

Ant-Man finally manages to stop the Wasp being homicidal - but they're still stuck at insect size!

We're getting yet more backstory about Captain Britain and the Black Knight.

The female Defenders are still trying to tame the Red Rajah.

The Silver Surfer's in the realm of Mephisto and resisting all offers and temptations his diabolical host can throw at him.

Britain's leading sic-fi mag's taking what appears to be a major look at the new Star Trek film which is packing cinemas across the globe.

It looks like we'll also be getting some coverage of Dark Star, which is always a thing to appreciate. After seeing that film, beach balls were never the same again, for me.

I've no recollection of the Gamma Monster the Hulk has to face this month and I'm not sure what the connection is between it and a Frankenstein-themed cover.

I do, of course, recollect the X-Men tale, in which, having crashed a space shuttle, Jean Grey bursts out of the sea, as Phoenix, and the X-Men promptly go on holiday to Ireland, causing some serious leprechaun action of the inevitable kind.

I don't have a clue what Phaseworld is or why it dies or why Dr Strange is mixed up in it all.

Typhon decides to get revenge on Hercules by kidnapping the Beast in order to force Iron Man to fight Hercules.

Doesn't this just mean the villain's now going to have to contend with Hercules, Iron Man and the Beast? Doesn't this make him worse off than he was in the first place?

Speaking of being badly off, the X-Men are in a bind. They've been ordered to disband, by the FBI, but they have to undisband when an evil force starts summoning all mutants to converge in one place for unknown sinister purpose.

Dr Doom's making his millionth attempt to form an alliance with the Sub-Mariner and trying to impress the crown prince of Atlantis with his robots, not suspecting that those selfsame machines are on the brink of turning against him.

We also get an interview in which Jarvis reveals what its like working for the Avengers.

Hooray! There's a Dalek on the front cover!

Granted, it's on fire but I'm sure that'll prove to be a mere minor setback to it in its plans to rule the universe.

Inside, the Doctor's still having trouble with the City of the Damned.

Now that the War of the Worlds adaptation's over, we get the start of an Invisible man adaptation. How big a part did the Invisible Man play in the defeat of the Martians?

Who can know?

Well, HG Wells can but he's not saying.

We also get a picture story about K-9's finest hour.

Presumably, that was on one of the few occasions when he wasn't left behind inside the TARDIS because no one could work out how to get him to work outdoors.

There's yet more sword and sorcery shenanigans from Britain's Number One receptacle of that genre.

We also get an interview with Boris Vallejo which I suspect would have been my highlight of the issue, if I'd had it.

It's an ever-loving calamity, as Spider-Man has to face the burglar who killed Uncle Ben - without the use of his powers.

Despite the claim on the cover, I'd have thought that, if Spider-Man was ever going to lose his powers before a fight, the best possible time would be for a scrap with the man who killed his Uncle Ben, as he's basically just some bloke.

Anyway, there's an obvious point here. And that's that Peter Parker could simply call the police in and leave it to them, what with the criminal being just some bloke.