Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. ***
Hooray! It's Guy Fawkes Night, the evening when we all celebrate attempts to blow up Parliament by a man who looked like Partick Stewart!
But you know what wasn't being blown up, this week in 1980?
El Salvador and Honduras.
That's right. It was the week in which the two nations signed a peace treaty, finally bringing an official end to the war - about qualification for the World Cup - which had broken out between them in 1969.
In the United States, that week, politics was being waged far less dramatically, as Ronald Reagan was elected the nation's 40th president.
I've no doubt that was all getting plenty of TV attention but also getting gogglebox coverage were the Goodies who, ten years after their first appearance, were still going and, on BBC One, on this very evening, conducted a satire of the UFO craze.
Meanwhile, BBC Two was celebrating Guy Fawkes Night by broadcasting a live fireworks display from Newcastle, staged to mark the city's 900th birthday.
Later that evening, the same channel treated us to a documentary about China's Terracotta Army and also broadcast the second part of its drama series about Robert Oppenheimer's quest to build an atomic bomb.
An atomic bomb? There was a man taking Guy Fawkes Night way too seriously.
The Micronauts are in Manhattan - and facing the deadly menace of the Toymaster.
To be frank, I don't have a clue who the Toymaster is but, from that name, he sounds like the kind of villain you don't want to bump into if you're a character based on a toy.
The Fantastic Four think they have problems when the Sandman tries to break free from the local jail but they don't know the half of it because, in Europe, Dr Doom's in his fortress and hatching a scheme to steal the Silver Surfer's powers and gain control of the whole world.
And it's not just the FF who have to worry about the tin-plated despot, because now Spider-Man's got to contend with him, as well.
Man-Thing, at least, doesn't have to contend with Doom but he does have other concerns, as, judging by that cover, a cop's threatening to shoot him!
Then again, thinking about it, that's no kind of threat at all for a creature made of mud.
That aside, all I know about this issue is its contents are drawn by Jim Starlin and inked by Herb Trimpe which is a combination that I don't think I've ever seen anywhere else.
The Beast discovers, to his consternation, that the New X-Men have been captured and put on display in a carnival.
If my memory serves me well, it turns out the bad guy behind it all is Mesmero who soon finds himself disposed of by a second, and far greater, threat.
Luke Cage is up against Dr Doom and, presumably, still trying to make the Teutonic troublemaker stump up the money he owes.
All I can say is Doom is very busy this week.
And, finally, the Thing meets Tigra to launch a, no-doubt, beautiful friendship.
Yet another of Marvel UK's weeklies goes monthly and, to celebrate, Luke battles a probe droid that's invaded a rebel transport ship.
We get more from Killraven's first-ever appearance. And, this time, the characters' heads haven't been redrawn as apes!
There's more from the reprint of Marvel's adaptation of the first Star Wars film.
And in this issue's tale of the Watcher, a genius, frustrated by how inferior the intellects of his fellow men are, flies to another planet, only to be locked up by that world's natives, on the grounds that he's too stupid to be allowed to roam around free.
It's nothing but trouble for the Avengers when a whole bunch of them go missing, thanks to the Collector. Meanwhile, Korvac's busy, scheming his latest schemings.
In the X-Men's strip, Cyclops, Marvel Girl and the Beast set out to rescue their captured team-mates from the Sentinels - a plan which involves dressing up as Quicksilver, the Scarlet Witch and the Toad and getting the Sentinels to fly into the sun, where they'll never be seen again.
The Champions are still battling the Crimson Dynamo, Titanium Man and Griffin, after that villainous trio have gatecrashed the heroes' civic inauguration do.
In a new strip adventure, the Fourth Doctor finds himself up against the menace of the Collector who I suspect has nothing to do with any other Marvel villains of the same name.
I do know the Doctor declares, "By Jove!" at one point in this tale. Clearly, the writer was mistaking him for Ken Dodd.
The Abslom Daak tale Star Tigers is still running.
We get a text adaptation of the First Doctor's final adventure The Tenth Planet, featuring the first-ever appearance of the Cybermen.
There's an interview with Ian Marter on his experience of writing Doctor Who novelisations.
Also, there's a feature on the serial Meglos from which I believe this month's cover image is sourced.
And there's a review of The Leisure Hive, which lavishes praise on new producer John Nathan-Turner.
The cover promises us a startling new direction for the magazine!
Exactly what that new direction is, is anybody's guess, as I detect no signs of this issue being any different to those that preceded it.
I do know that, thanks to the peerless pencils of Gil Kane, Conan finds himself up against a murderous gorilla. One he, needless to say, soon dispatches.
It seems Red Sonja may be finding herself up against Conan too, though the lack of punctuation in that sidebar blurb makes it difficult to be certain.
The UK's Number One sci-fi mag's still giving us all the latest news from Planet Speculative.
As well as a look at The Shining, it seems we're also supplied with info on the making of Starhunt, a film so awesome I can find no reference to it anywhere on the internet.
Hooray! The Titans makes its nostalgia-fulfilling return!
But not in landscape format.
Captain America finds himself in Vietnam and facing the deadly menace of The Sumo.
Even more excitingly, Iron Man has to thwart Gargantus, the deadly space Hypno-Neandertal.
And I would assume we're also getting one of Thor's very earliest adventures, to boot.
Marvel UK's clearly decided you just can't have too many comics with the Hulk in them.
Thus it is that we get a brand new book which reveals just how the mild-mannered Bruce Banner first became the Hulk.
We also get the terrifyingly magnetic terror of the Toad Men.
Just over a decade after the battling Cimmerian landed his own US mag, he lands his own UK pocket book which kicks off its run by reprinting his first three American issues.Do you spend your evenings sobbing your eyes out over your love life?
Now you don't have to do it alone, as Young Romance pocket book is launched to give you a whole slew of females, who've been fools in love, to cry along with.
And we get the launch of yet another monthly. Ye Gods, do Marvel UK think we're made of money?
I believe that, this issue, we're given the origin of the Punisher who swears vengeance upon criminals, following the murder of his family. So, no resemblance to the plot of Death Wish at all, then.
Elsewhere, a rich woman hires Dominic Fortune to kidnap her husband who owes her a quarter of a million dollars.
And it seems that, on his night off, Moon Knight is called into action to protect his friend.
It is intriguing to think of super-heroes having nights off. I wonder if Batman has to notify Gotham City Police, in advance, when his nights off are?
What's this? Valour weekly has only just been launched and, already, it has a winter special?
Thor decides to get involved in the Trojan War. A decision that brings him into conflict with the Greek gods.
In other news, the demon N'Garai penetrates Dr Strange's Sanctum Sanctorum, which sounds painful. You can probably get ointment for it.
We also get full colour pin-ups featuring Thor, Dr Strange, Conan, Red Sonja and even Devil Dinosaur.
And, as if that's not enough, there's even a one-page advert for Frantic magazine, presented to us by Batroc the Leaper.
And here is that very aforementioned Valour weekly, starring none other than that powerhouse driver of comicbook sales himself, Devil Dinosaur!
So awesome is he that we even get Part One of a jigsaw that's dedicated to him!
And that's not all, because there's also a Conan tale called The Devil Has Many Legs in which our hero's still mourning the loss of BĂªlit.
In a surprise development, we're served a Wally Wood narrated tale called The Bold and the Brave in which a youth with a dodgy leg seems to become a John Carter style fantasy hero.
Elsewhere, Dr Strange is up to something in New York and there's an old Lee/Kirby Tales of Asgard reprint.
It's November 1980 and you know what we need more of?
The launch of another new comic.
Seriously, what's going on? Has Paul Neary gone completely mad?
So, as far as I can make out, purely from the cover blurb, we've got the Micronauts (even though they're already in Star Heroes pocket book), Seeker 3000, Starlord and Paladin.
I assume we also get Nick Fury, judging by that image.
And it seems we have the chance to build our own space-ship. Elon Musk can only watch and envy us.
Hooray! The comic that was only launched mere months ago celebrates its 400th anniversary, making it older than the United States itself.
And it does so with style, by introducing the menace of the Rapier, surely Spider-man's greatest ever foe who I'm sure we all remember so well.
With both this week's Hulk and Spidey stories being granted 14 pages each, I'm assuming She-Hulk and Spider-Woman have found themselves dropped.
Will they return?
Who can know?
Apparently, Kaballa summons the fire-demons against the Golem.
I don't have a clue who Kaballa is or who the fire-demons are but it can't be good news for our clay-bound battler of evil.
The rest of this week's contents are a mystery to me.
Spider-Man and Nighthawk are still in pursuit of the Meteor-Man who's stolen one of Nighthawk's meteors.
I can't say I recall Kyle ever expressing any interest in collecting meteors in the pages of The Defenders.
Team-Up may be just eight issues old but, already, it has its own winter special.
From that cover, I'm detecting this is the tale in which Mary Jane gets possessed by the spirit of Red Sonja and she and Spidey get to fight some ancient wizard or other.
Elsewhere, in another tale, it's Spider-Man's turn to be possessed, as he's taken over by a woman called Karma who gets him to fight the Fantastic Four.
And, finally, Storm and the Black Panther unite to tackle someone called De Ruyter.
I cannot say whether possession is involved.
And here's an oddity, a winter special for a comic that doesn't even exist yet.
As far as I can make out, Thor and Loki team-up to find a Crystal of Blood for Odin and, in a separate tale, we're introduced to Omega the Unknown.
So, there you go, twenty-four publications hitting your news rack, right now. I hope you've got a lot of money because you're going to need it to buy that lot.