Fifty years ago this month - December 1970.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

***

December 1970 saw humanity reach for the sky when the World Trade Center's North Tower topped out at 1,368 feet, making it the tallest building in the world. However, it would be another two and a half years before the complex would be ready to open.

The Valkyrie makes her debut and the Not-So-New Masters of Evil make their return, as the Avengers head for Rutland and its Halloween celebrations, only to discover foul deeds are afoot.

But what can be the shocking secret of the tonsorially terrific warrior woman?

And how does it tie in with a remarkable new invention?

It's his second issue and Conan's messing things up for a bunch of beast-men, by liberating their human slaves.

MODOK's got himself a Bucky Barnes robot - and he's determined to use it.

I seem to recall the Red Skull also, at one point, getting his hands on a Bucky Barnes robot and using it against Cap.

All of which raises the question, "Is there a factory, somewhere, that churns out Bucky Barnes robots?"

Unless I'm wrong, this is the first appearance of The Tribune and he's out to do something about the commie pinko weirdos who're causing nothing but trouble wherever you look.

Jazzy John Romita's still in the artist's chair, as a man who's a walking ball of energy stalks the streets of New York, causing no end of trouble.

My main memories of this tale are that Sue Storm gets some solo action, instead of just standing around while Reed tells her to shut up, and Crystal discovers the atmosphere of our non-Inhuman world is going to kill her, unless she returns home.

Truly, drama cannot get any more dramatic.

He may be looking for a quiet life but the tears of a small girl convince the Hulk to assume the role of Golem and put paid to Draxon, his current location's resident dictator.

My memories of this one are very, very sketchy. Does an ordinary citizen, somehow, get turned into a robot and then blunder around, inadvertently endangering everyone?

That does seem unlikely. How, exactly, does one inadvertently turn into a robot?

Oh. Hold on. Does a robot come to the Earth, befriend an Earthwoman and then set out to save her from some criminals?

I must confess, the second idea seems far more plausible.

Following the death of her father, Gwen Stacy knows exactly what to do - enlist the help of would-be District Attorney Sam Bullitt to bring Spider-Man to justice.

Except, anyone with a functioning brain can see Bullitt's as big a crook as the criminals he's pledging to destroy.

Needless to say, that means J Jonah Jameson thinks he's as honest as the day is long.

Looking to rescue an imprisoned scientist, Thor visits Latveria but finds himself denied his hammer.

And that means it's Don Blake who has to work out a way to tackle the country's armour-clad despot.

The Juggernaut makes his wall-demolishing debut and Professor X reveals all about the origin of the human bulldozer who happens to be his semi-sibling.

December 3rd, 1980 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

*** 

Strange things were afoot in 1909.

Amongst them was that a group of people staged a play in Egypt, in an attempt to lift a curse that had, allegedly, been placed upon the pharaoh Akenhaten in 1354 BC. I only know this because, on this night in 1980, BBC One broadcast a documentary about the attempt.

Whether the bid to lift the curse succeeded, I cannot say and that is why I've resisted all temptation to try and locate his tomb, even though it's already been located.

It's clear we're being treated to the origin of Captain America. Surely, the least-told story in comic book history.

But that's all that's clear, as I've no knowledge of what else occurs within this month's publication.

However, from that corner box, I'm assuming Thor's also appearing.

And it's another one whose contents are a bigger mystery than a Toyah Wilcox hit. All I can say with any kind of certainty is the stars of Battlestar Galactica would appear to be up against a monster.

If that's the bad news, the good news is this issue's a hundred pages long and doubles-up as a winter special.

It's virtually doubtless this issue contains the tale where the Hulk's blasted into space, returns with no will of his own, becomes a puppet of Rick Jones, learns to leap and has to tackle the awe-inspiring might of the Circus of Crime before they set their sights on victory over their true nemesis Howard the Duck.

And it's another hundred-page special, as a group of occultists takes an interest in the Man-Thing for reasons that are not altogether clear to me.

In another Man-Thing tale, some kind of plague of madness is sweeping the globe - and I assume the swampy protagonist will, somehow, be the key to ending it.

Conan tackles the peril of the grim grey god, goes up the tower of the elephant and enters the clutches of Zukala's daughter. All in one issue. It's never a quiet moment for the world's most heroic criminal.

Cheeky Dr Doom's stolen the Silver Surfer's powers and is now in the process of trying to take over the world with them.

And only the Fantastic Four can stop him.

Or can they?

What's more, it's another hundred-pager.

And yet more hundred-page madness, as Peter Parker and Flash Thompson agree to settle their differences, in the boxing ring.

However, that's the least of their worries, as a killer robot, with the smarts to guess Spider-Man's true identity, is let loose in their high school.

Unless I miss my guess, this is the tale in which our hero disposes of his glasses for good.

Also, we get the story in which Spider-Man decides to gatecrash Dorrie Evans' birthday party and finds himself coming to blows with the Human Torch.

More tear-stained love trauma for a hapless bunch of young women in need of learning a valuable life lesson.

The X-Men find themselves up against Magneto again - and then find themselves being quickly defeated by him.

It is noticeable that the phrase, "X-Men," is now larger on the cover than the word, "Rampage."

It would appear we're about to receive Marvel's take on The Shining.

We're treated to yet more of the Punisher's origin, which, judging by that cover, may be a little violent.

Night Raven's up against the Phantom of Walpole Towers.

Dominic Fortune has to thwart a plot to cause an earthquake in California.

And Moon Knight must defeat a plan to steal an ancient Egyptian artefact.

The Fourth Doctor encounters a bunch of people who've ditched their televisions because they prefer to spend their time dreaming.

There's only one problem. A number of the dreamers have started dying!

Elsewhere, we get a retelling of the show's 10th anniversary story The Three Doctors.

And, because that event was a long time ago, there's also an eight-page pullout celebrating the show's 17th anniversary.

As if that wasn't enough, we're also treated to a text version of the 1960s Ice Warriors adventure The Seeds of Death.

And that's all before we finish off with Deathstar, a tale about the creation of time travel.

It's another bad day at the office, as the Avengers find themselves captured by the Collector.

Meanwhile, the X-Men take the injured Havok to be treated by a doctor.

The only hitch is the Doctor's Karl Lykos who promptly drains off a chunk of Havok's life force and turns into Sauron the pterodactyl man!

I hate it when doctors do that.

In the Champions' strip, the Black Widow has to take on Darkstar, which sounds like it should be a fairly one-sided fight.

What's this?

Flash Gordon, Joanna Lumley and Paul Darrow?

What more could one demand of a magazine?

It would appear that Lando Calrissian meets his boyhood idol who lets him down greatly by having turned into a pacifist.

Killraven finally manages to bump off his old nemesis The Keeper but finds he gains no pleasure from it.

We get a two-page report about the 1980 Marvel Comics Film and Fantasy Convention.

And we get more from Marvel's adaptation of the original Star Wars movie, in which Luke, Han, Chewie and Obi-Wan make a hasty getaway from Tatooine.

Conan's still blundering his way through the Hour of the Dragon.

I have to say that's a very long hour. He's been at it for months now.

Elsewhere, it would appear Red Sonja's in mortal combat with Conan, though I'm not sure what the tale is.

Could it be the Frank Thorne drawn epic from Marvel Feature #7 in which the pair clash over an attempt to acquire a page from the Book of Skelos?

Spider-Man and Iron Fist are still trying to stop the man who's living his life backwards.

Meanwhile, the Watcher continues to ask what would have happened if the world knew Daredevil is blind.

Franklin Richards is still being possessed by Agatha Harkness' son.

Ms Marvel's in the process of fleeing Modok's lair.

The Torpedo's out to discover who the mystery person is behind the Rocketeers gang.

And Morbius has been captured by a bunch of cat-people.

Belladonna's trapped Spidey and the new Prowler in an inescapable room she's about to fill with gas.

And the Hulk's on Jarella's world, living the life of a barbarian. I suspect this may be a Tales of the Watcher story.

Odd John's captured Arcturus and is about to skewer him on a pin.

But he'll be doing nothing of the sort if Marionette has her way.

Meanwhile, Odd John's killer-insects are on the loose - and nothing can stop them.

But Ant-Man's going to have a good try.

In a totally different strip, a barbaric world sees a woman called Shandra blundering around with her yetis and having flashbacks to when she lived in more hi-tech surroundings.

Elsewhere, Adam Warlock emerges from his cocoon to thwart the Man-Beast's attempt to kill the High Evolutionary.

And Star-Lord rescues a man from some people with wings.

A gang of cavemen attacks Devil Dinosaur and Moonboy.

And then, just to make things worse, an aggressive iguanodon shows up!

Elsewhere, some bloke or other tells Merlin and Arthur the story of how he once fought a fire-breathing dragon.

But can this tall-tale-telling stranger be trusted?

Clea's gone missing and Dr Strange hires himself a new assistant before setting out to discover where his girlfriend's got to.

Conan's now chief of the Bamulas but they're about to come up against a bunch of vampires.

And, in this week's Tales of Asgard, the youthful Thor tries to single-handedly fend off an attack on his homeland. An attempt for which he gets rewarded with a big hammer.

It looks like Kull's about to tackle the monster from Night of the Demon. I have no doubt the king shall prevail.

And ROM gatecrashes a phoney Dire Wraith funeral.

The Marvel Lucky Bag - December 1970.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

***

Wait!

What's that?

It's the sound of someone knocking!

And I'm not the only one who can hear it - because Dave Edmunds can too!

And it's lucky he can because, thanks to that sound, in December 1970, he grabbed the Number One spot on the UK singles chart, and he heard it so clearly that his was the only record that topped the hit parade that month.

That record was, of course, I Hear You Knocking, in case I was being a bit vague there.

Over on the UK album chart, Led Zeppelin started the month at Number One with Led Zeppelin III but then had to make way for the power and majesty of Andy Williams and his Greatest Hits package.

Led Zeppelin and Andy Williams. It's a rivalry as old as time itself. 

The cinemas, that month, saw the release of a whole slew of movies, possibly the best-known being Little Big Man, Love Story and The Aristocats. I must confess I've only seen two of those movies and neither of them is Love Story.

Thanks to Gerry Conway and Barry Smith, Ka-Zar and Garokk the petrified man return to the Savage Land to discover Zaladane's making a bid to take the place over.

Not only has she destroyed Tongah's village but, now, she's attacking the domain of the Lizard-Men!

And Ka-Zar's not the only one with a battle on his hands because Dr Doom has to defeat not one but two threats to his throne, in the Faceless One and the Doomsman.

I remember the Faceless One being the villain with a multi-legged goldfish bowl where his head should be. The Doomsman is, of course, just a man wearing bandages.

Readers of the Fantastic Four's monthly mag have only just got over the terror of seeing the hordes of Atlantis trying to invade New York and, now, thanks to this annual, they're going to have to watch yet another watery attack on the city, this time reprinted from the pages of the team's very first annual.

Also reprinted from that annual is a whole mountainload of pin-ups of the FF's deadliest foes.

Sadly, Jack Kirby's retelling of Spider-Man's first encounter with the FF, which was in that first annual, is not also replicated here.

Someone at Marvel clearly thinks Ka-Zar has the potential to be a people pleaser because he's still appearing in two books a month.

This one sees a reprint of Daredevil's first visit to the Savage Land, a visit which leaves him blind and at the mercy of a caveman, as the Plunderer makes his not-totally-overwhelming debut.

On top of that, we get the Angel in solo action. I don't know what happens in the story but it does appear to be an all-new adventure for the pinioned powerhouse.

Spidey has his first-ever meeting with the Chameleon when the two-bit spy frames him, as only the Chameleon can.

Then we get the wallcrawler's first meeting with the Vulture when the winged wrongdoer keeps helping himself to other people's money.

There's then a limited villain's gallery before A Guy Named Joe shows up for Steve Ditko's final Spider-Man tale.

Subby heads off to Lemuria, in order to forge an alliance against the untrustworthy surface-dwellers but finds its inhabitants also can't be trusted, as they're now being led by the luscious Llyra who can mentally control all sea creatures.

Can Namor defeat the azure aggravationist? And just what is the stunning secret she shares with her air-breathing twin sister?

The X-Men may be struggling to sustain a regular comic but that's not stopped Marvel from finally granting them an annual.

In it, the mutants blunder into the Avengers, in their attempts to stop Lucifer who's got his hands on an atom bomb that's wired to explode if his heartbeat doesn't do whatever it is his heartbeat's supposed to do.

The book's second half is dedicated to the Stranger's first arrival on Earth and his subsequent abduction of Magneto and the Toad.

Tomb of Darkness #13.

 Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

***

When I think of Code-approved horror in monthly slices, I always think of DC and Charlton.

Marvel was for super-heroes. Even their big horror titles, like Dracula, Frankenstein and Werewolf by Night, were super-hero yarns in everything but name.

But even the House of Ideas sometimes dipped its toes in the waters of full-colour anthologised horror, and Tomb of Darkness was one of those bouts of splishing.

As far as I know, #13 was the only issue of this mag my younger self ever owned. So - reacquainted with it - when I open it, what do I get? Will 13 be lucky for some?

First, there's The Man in the Tomb. The town's most exclusive masonic lodge has a problem when the local gangland big cheese shows up and demands it let him join, so he can impress his girlfriend with how classy he is.

As the lodge's initiation ceremony involves convincing new recruits they're about to be decapitated, I'm not sure membership of it really suggests classiness.

Nonetheless, undeterred, he's determined to join and, having the sense not to threaten to behead a man who's holding a gun, the members, instead, lock him in a local tomb, telling him he can free himself, with a key, any time he wants to but he has to stay overnight if he's to complete his initiation.

Their genius ploy is that, while he's entombed, they can flee to another part of town where he'll never find them and they'll be rid of him.

Unfortunately, in his escape attempt, the gormless gangster manages to drop the key and now has no way out. With the lodge having fled to another part of town, there's no one to liberate him, and his doom is surely set.

Next, Alone sees a famous actor become so fed-up of constant adulation that he wishes he could be left alone.

For no good reason, his wish is granted and he, indeed, finds himself alone in a world in which he's unable to see, hear or touch the people he knows must be there.

This is an odd one. Clearly, we're supposed to see him as a jerk who deserves everything he gets but, in truth, he comes across as suffering from a massive dose of social anxiety; and needing professional help, rather than salutary lessons.

Third, Stop the Presses delivers us a journalist who endures as much bullying from his editor as he can before he murders the man.

But not until after he's written up the story for his newspaper.

Finally, the comic delivers The Gal Who Talked Too Much. A long-suffering husband, whose wife never shuts up, agrees to slip her a Mickey Finn, so she can be entombed, alive, in a time capsule, for future generations to know what a human being was like.

Sadly, for the husband, it turns out the scientist who arranged that also arranged for her to drug him, and now he's trapped in the time capsule, for the rest of his life with, his nagging wife.

How terrifying are these tales?

Not muchly.

Even by the standards of 1970s horror comics, they're mild, being reprints from the 1950s when restrictions on mainstream comics were even more stringent than they were twenty years later. These are definitely tales for the very faintest of hearts.

And, unlike those DC and Charlton books, there's no host to tie the stories together, giving a sense of half-heartedness to the venture that contrasts with the more involved efforts of those other two publishers.

Egads, there's not even a letters page!

The longevity of many of DC and Charlton's books - and the sheer quantity of titles - would suggest there was a healthy market for such things. So, why Marvel lacked the will to seriously pursue it is anyone's guess.

November 26th, 1980 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

***

Who shot JR?

It wasn't me. I have an alibi.

And I had one 40 years ago.

And that's a good thing because this was the week, in 1980, the TV show Dallas revealed the culprit behind the attempted murder of its supreme villain.

And that culprit was...

...Kristin.

Frankly, I don't remember who Kristin was but I'm sure she was a very memorable character.

Even more memorable were ABBA.

And, also that week, their track Super Trouper hit the very peak of the UK singles chart, dislodging Blondie's The Tide is High in the process. This meant the Swedish superstars held the top spot on both the UK singles and album charts, their LP of the same name having already seized the summit of the latter listing.

Here's a cover that's familiar to Marvel UK readers.

That's because it had also appeared on the front of The Avengers #73 in 1975. 

In both comics, Spidey teams up with Iron Fist to tackle a villain from the future who's living his life backwards.

Needless to say, it all ends badly for the wrongdoer when he regresses into being a single cell and then nothing.

This is, of course, the second time Spider-Man's come up against a foe who's done that.

He must be starting to feel it's becoming a habit.

Of the rest of the issue, I can say nothing because I know nothing.

Dr Strange is still confronting the dweller in darkness.

But he's got an even bigger problem on his plate - because the blurb at the cover's summit announces that this issue includes Merlin but then describes him as the world's Number One wizard.

What? Even more Number Oney than Dr Strange? Does Marvel UK have no respect for the master of the mystic arts?

The touted Merlin tale is, of course, the Doug Moench and John Buscema one I touched upon in The Marvel Lucky Bag for July 1980.

Now the Micronauts have a problem.

That's because Bug's been captured by an insect expert called Odd John.

Personally, I'd have little faith in a man who has the word, "Odd," in his name.

And it turns out I'd be right, as, barely has he captured him, than the oddster turns the minuscule hero into a murderous monster.

Can his buddies rescue him?

And can they do it before he kills them?

Elsewhere, the crew of Seeker 3000 are having equally perilous trouble with a computer.

Star-Lord's fighting the reptile aliens who caused the death of his mother.

And, while the High Evolutionary sleeps, the Man-Beast sets about ruining the newly created Counter-Earth.

Spidey steps in to put a stop to the Cobra's feeble crime-spree.

Meanwhile, the Hulk and Jarella return to her own world.

Except, hasn't Marvel UK already featured her death? A long time ago? Perhaps it's a What If? tale?

Perhaps it's not and they're reprinting it totally out of sequence?

In all honesty, I do not know.

It looks like Machine Man has his hands - and feet - full, tangling with Alpha Flight.

Other than acknowledging that ROM's in this issue too, there's little more I can say of this book and its contents.

War of the Worlds!

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

*** 

The War of the Worlds, that stark warning by HG Wells that the British might not rule the world forever, unless we get our act together and make sure we're all diseased up to the eyeballs.

Happily, the British government has learnt that lesson and is making sure no germ-fearing Martian would ever dare set foot in the UK right now.

Still, the tale has an allure that even time itself cannot diminish.

At least, that seems to be the case, judging by how many versions of it have been created over the years.

This site's comments section recently demanded I do a feature about that story and, so, here it is.

I'm fairly certain I first became aware of War of the Worlds through the 1953 Hollywood movie which transferred the tale to the United States and brought it forward to the Nuclear Age, so that even mankind's mightiest weapon of the 20th Century could be shown to be useless against such invaders.

Even to this day, I love that movie. We may be able to see the strings on the Martians' war machines but, with their nod towards manta rays and cobras, they remain things of beauty as they glide around, sedately slaughtering all they encounter.

And who can forget the remarkable sound effects that film employed? So remarkable that they've been recycled in various productions over the years.

But, of course, that wasn't the first dramatic adaptation of the book.

That was Orson Welles' radio version from 1938, which, legend has it, terrified the people of North America who didn't realise it was a drama and reacted with mass panic.

At least, that's the claim. Apparently, the number of people taken in, and the scale of their panic, has been greatly exaggerated, possibly by Welles himself, and it's doubtful that more than a handful of people really fled their homes or decided to start shooting at water towers in the belief they were under attack.

Still, it was enough to make Welles' reputation and pave the way for him to find even greater celebrity.

Hollywood made a second stab at a movie, in 2005, when Steven Spielberg pitted Tom Cruise up against the monsters. Although the film's a masterclass in how to direct such an adventure, its plot and characters were, for some of us, less than involving and many find it difficult to have affection for the film, despite its technical virtuosity. 

Almost simultaneously, Pendragon Pictures released their own version which, almost uniquely, stuck to the original story. The film, though, had a budget of approximately £5, starred no one you'd ever heard of and was likened, by critics, to the work of Ed Wood.

Speaking of quality, we shouldn't forget that those purveyors of fine films Asylum also gave us their take on the subject. I haven't seen it but it seems to have gained the same rapturous critical reception that all their productions do.

Inevitably, TV has refused to be left out and 1988 offered up a series starring Jared Martin, a man some of us used to know as, "The bloke with the tuning fork in Fantastic Journey." It would be true to say it was a venture carried out on the cheap, with the Martians having mysteriously gained the budget-saving power to adopt human form, and footage from the 1950s movie being recycled wherever humanly - or inhumanly - possible.

2013 presented us with The Great Martian War 1913-1917, a TV docudrama which rewrote World War One as a battle between Earth and the Martians, incorporating footage from the real-life conflict. 

British TV finally made a stab at its own adaptation in 2019 when the BBC gave us a three-part series that didn't have anything like the funds necessary and was often reduced to having characters tell us what had happened elsewhere, rather than being able to show us. It also used a terrible framing narrative that meant the series was repeatedly flashing back and forwards in a way most viewers seemed to find annoying.

In the same year, Fox and France's Canal+ also had a go at making a TV version; this time, set in modern-day Europe and starring Gabriel Byrne. It seems to have gone down better than its British counterpart, judging by the fact that a second season's been commissioned.

But this is a comics blog and, of course, comics have been willing to tackle the torment as well.

Probably most famously, Marvel gave us Killraven, a man who could change his name at will and thwart talking apes whenever necessary but, mostly, stuck to his usual name and fighting Martians.

Spectacularly verbose, the strip could, at times, be a tough read but, under the care of Don McGregor and Craig Russell, it was always memorable.

Not satisfied with that crack at the tale, Marvel also gave us a straight adaptation of Wells' original, in the pages of Classics Comics #14.

But, arguably, the most offbeat version was Jeff Wayne's distinctly onbeat musical adaptation that, despite keeping the 19th Century setting, brought the book well and truly into the Disco Age.

Released in 1978, and packed with stars like David Essex and Justin Hayward, the double LP soon charged its way up the UK album chart, going on to achieve 9x Platinum status.

Not only that but, in Australia, it went 10x Platinum and, in New Zealand, the thing went 13x Platinum!

Could nothing stop this musical behemoth?

Yes! The Atlantic could!

Because, despite its juggernaut performance in those other realms of the Anglosphere, in the United States, it peaked at 98 on the Top 200, making it, surely, the greatest example of an album failing to cross the Atlantic the world has ever seen. One can only assume it was rammed by the Thunder Child, mid-journey.

So, there you go; War of the Worlds.

After all these myriad adaptations, cash-ins and rip-offs, my favourite version of the tale remains the 1953 movie.

Granted, that might be because I've never actually read the book. I remember making an attempt to do so, during childhood, but losing patience with it when I discovered it didn't have any pictures. That's how sophisticated I am.

But you may have other ideas about what's the best version.

Then again, you may have encountered versions of the tale that I haven't mentioned.

Or you may just have thoughts on the subject in general.

If so, let your voice ring out loud in the comments section, as those church bells rang out when everyone suddenly realised the Martians had corked it.

"Those church bells rang out when everyone suddenly realised the Martians had corked it." Yes, I'm pretty sure that was the last line of the book.

November 19th, 1980 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.

***

There aren't many bands would write a song about their lighting rig but, then, there aren't many bands like ABBA.

Thus it is that, forty years ago this week, Super Trouper, the album named after ABBA's spotlight, smashed straight in at Number One on the UK album chart, scattering all before it like chaff.

Over on the singles chart, though, the Swedish superstars had to settle for second place, as Blondie's The Tide is High kept the title track of their album away from the top spot.

At least, for now...

Conan battles to gain control of what I think might be the Zamboula tribe.

Needless to say, he has to fight someone for the honour.

Needless to say, he triumphs because he's Conan and he always triumphs.

Elsewhere, Moon-Boy reminisces about how he once brought his new friend Devil Dinosaur back to meet his tribe and, upon being greeted with nothing but fear and hostility, decided to vacate his tribe, forthwith, and make a new life for himself with his T-Rex.

The Cobra's about to break out of jail - and only Spider-Man can stop him!

Let's be honest, that's not really true. I suspect even Ant-Man could stop him. Once more, must I recall my old adage that any super-villain who can be defeated by being locked in a cupboard isn't a great super-villain.

Elsewhere, Jessica Drew turns up in a town called Jude, seeking to thwart a network that's smuggling wanted criminals out of the country.

But, when she gets there, she quickly discovers the Hulk's also in town - and he's in no mood for subtlety.

Just who that strangle-happy eagle man is, on the front cover, I cannot say.

The Micronauts find themselves in a hen house. It's the sort of excitement you experience when you're based on a line of toys.

In other news, it's the Chinese New Year but Paladin's in no mood to celebrate. He's too busy looking to avenge the death of a female friend who's just been murdered, right in front of him.

Meanwhile, the High Evolutionary's succeeded in creating Counter-Earth but, unknown to him, a certain lupine lawbreaker's watching, with plans of his own...

Other than the fact Spider-Man's still teaming-up with the Valkyrie, in order to tackle Meteor Man, I have little knowledge of what happens in this one.

I do, however, have good reason to believe this issue features a What If? tale that explores what would happen if the world knew Daredevil was blind.

Presumably, the Masked Marauder would have shot him in the head, with a bullet, rather than zapping him with his optic blasts, and Daredevil's career would have been fairly short.

And we finish with one whose contents really are an enigma to me.

However, it looks like things have all gone badly south for ROM.

And that means there's no one around to save his friends from the attack of the Thornoids!