January 3rd, 1976 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Hooray! It's a brand new year!

And that can only mean one thing.

That it's time for me to foist a brand new feature upon the world of blogging.

And here it is - my spanking new feature where I look at what Marvel UK were publishing forty years ago this week and I totally fail to recognise any of it.

I can't believe I've never thought of doing this before.

Maybe I'm imagining it but I'm getting a Rich Buckler vibe from parts of that cover, most notably Captain America.

That aside, it's the return of the mendacious Man-Ape.

I always liked the Man-Ape. He was definitely a man with an attitude problem.

It's the legendary Emergency Issue, which I never had and was totally unaware of until I gained access to the internet.

I'm still not totally sure what the story behind it was and why other Marvel UK comics were unaffected.

Gil Kane's Cowering Blonde makes her senses-shattering return.

That poor girl's shins must be worn out by now.

Modok's still causing trouble for our hero.

I do always wonder why he messed about with these schemes when he was the inventor of the Cosmic Cube and could therefore, presumably, make another one any time he wanted.

And the Spider-Slayer's still causing trouble for Spider-Man, which somehow isn't quite as dramatic as the thought of Modok causing trouble  for the Hulk.

At last, a Planet of the Apes cover which features someone who can actually shoot straight.

Admittedly, he clearly hit his target from a distance of just ten inches but it's more than most people on Planet of the Apes covers could manage.

Even more excitingly, it signals the start of the mag's adaptation of Conquest of the Planet of the Apes which I seem to remember having been drawn by the always stylish Alfredo Alcala.

"Once again Giant- Man must face the horrifying Human Top!"

I think they might be slightly overplaying the Human Top's ability to cause a sense of terror in an observer.

Marvel UK annuals, 1976.

As we all know, the greatest feature on the internet is the one where I post the covers of what Marvel UK were publishing forty years ago and then declare that I don't have a clue what happened in any of them.

But, of course, this time of year in 1975 was a very special one - because it was the time of year when the youth of Britain were ploughing their way through big Marvel UK comics. Big Marvel UK comics with hard covers.

That's right.

It was annual time!

Despite the company publishing seven weekly titles in late 1975, there were only three annuals that year. I didn't have any of them. What a nightmare Christmas it must have been.

It would appear that this book features the Valkyrie's debut, the first appearance of Arkon and a battle with the Squadron Supreme.

The Arkon one must have been a bit of a disappointment, bearing in mind that it had only recently appeared in the weekly mags.

I find it hard to believe that anyone could have been disappointed with the Valkyrie tale.

I can find nothing at all on the internet that tells me what's contained within this book.

I assume, from the cover, that the Hulk's in it and that it features the work of happy Herb Trimpe but couldn't swear to that in a court of law.

It seems that this features Ship of Fiends, Spider-Man Tackles the Torch and Dinosaurs on Broadway.

I'm trying to recall if the first of those is the Spider-Man vs Dracula tale and the third is the one where Stegron brings dinosaur skeletons to life. The Human Torch story could, of course, be one of a whole host of tales.

Maybe it's just me but I can't see the phrase Dinosaurs on Broadway without thinking of the Dr Who story Daleks in Manhattan. The shot of the half-human/half dalek at the end of that episode will be burned into my mind forever.

And not in a good way.

December 27th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Hooray! Santa's stuck in my chimney, Rudolph's eating my sofa and The Snowman's walking in my hair. It can only mean one thing.

It's more or less Christmas.

That means it's time to find out what tinsel-packed goodness Marvel UK was giving us on this very day of forty years ago.

Were they dishing out turkeys, left, right and centre?

Or were they giving us a veritable smorgasbord of crackers?

There aren't many Avengers tales from this era that don't grab me but, somehow, I've never been able to warm to the Cornelius van Lunt storyline. I think I just feel a need for super-villains in an Avengers tale.

Much as I might love Man-Thing and Werewolf by Night, I can't help feeling that, if Dracula really wants to take over the world, they'll prove more of a hindrance than a help, seeing as they tend to have a somewhat unfocused approach to life. In fact, when it comes to usefulness as partners, I'd feel happier about using Oddbod and Oddbod Jr from Carry On Screaming than those two.

Once more Cornelius finds himself up against people who took shooting training from the Star Wars Storm Troopers. Someone really does need to tell them that if you point your gun at the ground, you're not in any great danger of hitting anyone.

Spidey's still having trouble with the Spider-Slayer.

Hooray! It's the tale where the Hulk strip goes completely mad and Modok turns Betty Ross into the Harpy.

Meanwhile, I detect the return of Psycho-Man to the pages of the Fantastic Four.

The Super-Heroes is still quietly trundling along.

I finally got round to seeing Iron Man 2 the other night. I must confess I preferred Iron Man 1.

Of course, I'd have preferred it even more if Captain Marvel had been in it.

The most forgettable comics I have ever owned - Part 16: The Champions #12.

It's the night before the night before Christmas.

And that means just one thing.

That, just as Santa Claus will soon do, I've been travelling the world.

Unlike Santa Claus, I've done it without the aid of  a chimney.

I've done it via a mega-chimney. The mega-chimney of knowledge that is the internet. And so, yet again, my blundering around has brought me across a comic that I once owned but had totally forgotten I ever had.

In this case, it's The Champions #12.

As I may have said before, somewhere or other on this blog, I would claim that the Champions always seemed a strange concept for a super-team, except that I don't have a clue what the concept actually was

 It comes across like Marvel just decided to use up whatever heroes they had who couldn't support their own title and didn't have a berth in any established team.

And so it was that we got the unlikely alliance of Hercules, the Black Widow, the Angel, Iceman and, least likely of all, Ghost Rider. I may be mistaken but I do believe that, just to make the mix even more random, we later got the addition of Black Goliath.

Other than what's shown on the cover, I don't have a clue what happens in this comic but it seems unlikely to me that the Champions could possibly be powerful enough or organised enough to defeat a being as mighty as the Stranger. I therefore have no choice but to conclude that they must all get killed in this issue and subsequently continue their careers as a team of ghosts.

Admittedly that would mean Ghost Rider would have to be renamed Ghost-Ghost Rider which would instill into his name a certain degree of redundancy.

On the other hand, it would mean we also got the adventures of Ghost Hercules.

I mean. Come on. Ghost Hercules. Who wouldn't want to read the adventures of Ghost Hercules?

Granted, Hercules might not. But I would and when it comes to comics, once I've handed over my thirty cents, I'm all that matters.

December 20th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Big-time Brummie Santa-botherer Roy Wood once sang the immortal words, "I wish it could be Christmas every day."

But, if it were Christmas every day, it'd always be December the 25th.

And that means it'd never be December the 20th.

And that'd mean I'd never have the chance to find out what Marvel UK were up to on that day in 1975.

What kind of maniac is that man? Is he trying to ruin the 38th best blog in Sheffield?

I ought to have him hunted down and eaten by a rabid reindeer.

And, trust me, I have the terrifying power to arrange it.

I genuinely don't have a clue what the Avengers story is in this issue, as I can recall no Avengers tales from this era that feature giant robots.

I also don't have a clue what the Conan story is, as I don't remember any Conan stories ever that don't feature evil wizards.

Cap and Bucky are dangling from a missile-type thingy as it soars ever upwards.

I don't like to be negative but that sort of thing rarely ends happily for them.

I initially misread the speech balloon on this cover as, "Stay back, folks! So commands Dracula, lord of vampires!" I now can't imagine Dracula talking like anything other than a duff working men's club entertainer.

We're still escaping from the Planet of the Apes.

I don't have a Scooby what happens in the back-up strips this issue but I do know that's a very nice cover depicting what was the most tear-inducing moment in cinema history until that robot got run over in Silent Running.

It's news that all monster fans should celebrate, as Zzzax makes his electrifying debut.

As with the last few weeks, I never had this issue but had already read the Hulk story in the 1975 Marvel Annual, a review of which can be found by clicking this very link.

It's that rare thing, a Spider-Man Comics Weekly cover that's dominated by Iron Man and Thor.

The X-Men are still up against a pleasingly unlikely Pick & Mix of menace.

2000 AD - November 1977.

Well, smack me in the Force and call me a scruffy-looking nerf herder. It seems there's a brand new Star Wars film out and the whole world has once again gone Jar Jar Binks crazy.

How we'll no doubt gasp at the light sabres, the TIE Fighters and the cheeky little droids.

Of course, for me, the already leaked information that Jabba the Hutt reveals himself to be Han Solo's father is the most awesome revelation in cinema history and one I shall never forget.

However, we should remember that, when the original movie came out in 1977, the war of the stars wasn't the only thing that was happening in the Vast Beyond at that time. There was also a comic from beyond the galaxies as well.

That comic was 2000 AD.

And that all means it's time for me to leap into my Thrillennium Falcon, punch Hyper-Space in the gob and find out what that comic was doing in November of that fateful year.

As usual, my total inability to recall any of the contents of the issues in question means I can't think of anything at all interesting to say about them.

I can however say that the robot in the top picture seems to owe some vague debt to John Byrne's Rog-2000 as seen in the pages of Charlton Comics' E-Man.

I can also say that the star of the second cover has to be the most short-sighted astronaut in history. I can only hope that Tim Peake doesn't encounter a similar fate during his journey into space.

December 13th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

What madness is this? It's 5:50 pm and Hey Jude is currently being played on Absolute Radio. This means I have an uncontrollable urge to start going, "Na na na na," a lot. And yet, on this day in 1975, the Stylistics were riding high in the UK singles chart with a song that warned us that Na Na Is The Saddest Word.

What can it all mean?

It can only mean it's time to look at what our favourite comic company was offering us in this week of forty years ago.

After months of giving us the likes of Giant-Man and the Cat, Marvel UK finally wheel out one of the big-hitters, with, erm, the Scarecrow.

Still, in fairness, that's a pretty good cover and it does make it look like something you'd want to read.

But are those naked people I spy on the right-hand side of the picture? If so, are they the first naked people ever to feature on the front of a Marvel UK mag?

Arkon's still causing trouble, on a cover that features more super-doers than you can shake a stick at.

Does that cover mean this is the issue where Lady Dorma dies, becoming, I think, the first Marvel super-hero girlfriend to pop her clogs?

It's issue #60 and Dracula suddenly finds himself having to share top-billing with the Legion of Monsters.

It's issue #60 and our simian survivors suddenly find themselves having to share the cover with Ka-Zar and the Black Panther.

Given my liking for both the Panther and Ka-Zar strips, this is, to some of us, no bad thing. Especially as Planet of the Apes was the only Marvel UK mag I was getting regularly at the time, meaning it was my only weekly source of super-hero action.

I don't have a clue what the story depicted here is. From looking at last week's cover, the Hulk should be fighting Zzzax, in his own strip, and I don't remember any late-era Jack Kirby Fantastic Four tales where they tangle with the Hulk,

Such concerns of course pale into insignificance next to the news that the Stiltman is back.

It's even more exciting news than the Stiltman being back, as the Spider-Slayer makes its senses-shattering return.