The Marvel Lucky Bag - December 1969.

Only two records claimed the Number One spot on the UK singles chart in December 1969.

The first was Sugar Sugar by the Archies. The second was Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris.

Needless to say, I'll move swiftly on from that point but I will add that Kenny Rogers must have felt a bit fed-up, as his track Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town spent the entire month stuck at Number Two.

Amazingly, on the last chart before Christmas Day, there was not one Christmas song in the Top 50. The nearest we got to anything with any kind of relevance to the season was the presence, at Number 44, of the Hollies.

Admittedly, despite the band's Christmassy name, the record itself was not at all topical, being He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.

Over on the album chart, the Beatles began the month at Number One, with Abbey Road, before the Rolling Stones' Let it Bleed deposed them.

However, the Stones' triumph over their old rivals was short-lived, as, the following week, Abbey Road once more ascended to the top and stayed there for the rest of the month, making it the Christmas Number One for that year. Not that anyone ever talks about the Christmas Number One when it comes to LPs.

That month, the cinemas of the world unleashed upon us A Boy Named Charlie Brown, Hello, Dolly!, They Shoot Horses, Don't They? and something called The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes which starred Kurt Russell. As you'd possibly guess from the title, it was a Disney movie and, even though I've never heard of it, it spawned two sequels, both starring Kurt Russell.

Rick Jones moves into a block of flats whose sociologist landlord wants to torture his tenants to death, so he can make a fortune from writing a book about how he did it.

I'm not sure he's thought this plan through, as the book would be a confession to mass murder.

Still, in the end, it doesn't matter, because Captain Marvel's on hand to give him the good flattening he deserves.

Chamber of Darkness unveils its second, diabolical, issue. In it, an escaped prisoner is replaced by a four-armed alien, a shaving man sees a ghostly face in his mirror, and we get a modern-day retelling of The Masque of the Red Death, set in a concrete bunker.

Apparently, Hydra operatives follow Nick Fury around, in the hope he'll lead them to SHIELD's HQ.

Somehow, this leads to them being hypnotised into attacking completely the wrong building. Oh, Hydra, will you never learn?

No sooner is the Surfer reunited with his beloved Shalla-Bal than she suffers a potentially fatal injury which requires him to send her back to Zenn-La for medical treatment.

As the Surfer's repeatedly demonstrated the ability to resurrect the all-but dead, I'm not totally sure why he needs to send her back home, rather than curing her himself.

Hooray! Who doesn't love a good scrap between Namor and Doom?

As usual, Doomsie wants Subby to team up with him, in order that they can conquer the world together.

As usual, Subby doesn't like the idea.

As usual, it all ends in a punch-up.

More sobbing onto pillows ensues, as Our Love Story hits its second issue of unbridled lachrymosity.

Fifty years ago this month - December 1969.

December 1969 was a good month for all lovers of the anomalous because it was when we saw the release of possibly the most anomalous James Bond movie of them all; On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Not only did we get an Australian Bond who was never seen again and even talked directly to the camera but we got our hero operating outside the purview of British Intelligence, and an ending which I won't give away in case there's a single person left in the world who's never seen it.

Diana Rigg was, of course, present, as was Joanna Lumley. With Honor Blackman having already appeared in Goldfinger, it means Linda Thorson's the only Avengers girl to have never appeared in a Bond movie.

Then again, she's still alive. There's hope for her yet.

And, also, this argument depends upon me ignoring the existence of Uma Thurman.

Elsewhere, the month also saw the holding of the first draft lottery in the United States since World War II, courtesy of the Vietnam War.

Meanwhile, the Boeing 747 jumbo jet made its first passenger flight, carrying 191 people, mostly reporters and photographers, from Seattle to New York, and the Rolling Stones released their album Let It Bleed.

Let it Bleed is, of course, most known to me because it was the title of a Don Heck drawn Marvel Dracula story about a huge heart living in a shed, like a malevolent version of How's Jack Hargreaves.

I'm not sure there's much shed action in any of the following comics.

Hooray! The Avenger take on the Invaders, though Frank Robbins is nowhere to be seen.

Neither are Toro and Bucky, as far as I remember. Namor, to my knowledge, never had a youthful sidekick, which seemed a little unfair on him.

I do think it's odd the way the Invaders automatically assume the Avengers are Nazis, based on no evidence at all. Still, they get their just deserts and Roy Thomas's test run for the team is completed with their utter and total defeat.

Thinking about it, it's not an auspicious start for them, is it?

I am intrigued, though, that it's labelled, "The Final Battle," when it isn't the final battle for either team, nor is it the final battle of World War Two, nor is it the final battle in the contest between Kang and the Grandmaster. So exactly why is it labelled, "The Final Battle?"

My memories of this one are vague. Doesn't Cap become a college lecturer for some reason and then AIM or Hydra try to kidnap a scientist by pretending to be protesting students?

It does make me think, did any Marvel hero ever go to a university campus, in those days, without a student protest breaking out?

I really have no recollection of this tale at all. Is this Torpedo the same Torpedo who turned up later in Marvel comics or is he a totally different one?

I think this issue is the conclusion to the tale, in which the rest of the FF turn up to help the Thing thwart the Skrulls' racket.

I'm struggling to remember how the FF actually manage to get there, bearing in mind it's set in another galaxy. Do they use Kurrgo's flying saucer which has been sitting on their roof, seemingly forgotten about, since issue #7?

No one with any sense can ever resist a scrap between the Hulk and the Thing, even though I've a feeling this is the first time the FF have met the Hulk in the pages of his own mag. If that's true, it does seem amazing that it took so long for it to happen.

Anyway, what matters is that Bruce Banner comes up with half a cure for him being the Hulk and sets off to the Baxter Building to share it with Reed Richards who's independently come up with the other half.

Needless to say, it's not long before the obligatory punch-up breaks out.

I've a feeling Lucifer gives some random bloke super-powers so he can defeat Iron Man, on his behalf.

Granted, I'm not totally sure who Lucifer actually is or why he's so determined to beat Iron Man.

It's the story we never thought we'd see; the death of Peter Parker.

Admittedly, we were right to think we'd never see it because we don't. In retrospect, it does seem remarkable that the Prowler's debut has managed to be spread over two issues, bearing in mind how totally outclassed by Spidey he is.

But who cares? It's a pleasing story and you can't help feeling sorry for poor Hobie and his window cleaning frustrations.

I genuinely have no memory of this story at all, and I know for a fact that I've read it.

I gather the Wrecker makes his senses-shattering return. Apart from that, I'm clueless.

But that's a very intriguing cover. It looks like someone's got a Jack Kirby image and done fairly major amounts of redrawing over it.

I don't think I've ever read this one but I would assume Magneto and the X-Men are still in the Savage Land.

I'm willing to bet the blurb is lying and that Magneto doesn't triumph.

November 28th, 1979 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Do you know how much of any interest happened in the world in this week of 1979?

Zero much of interest. There wasn't even any change at the top of the UK singles and album charts for us all to get excited about. Therefore, I shall demonstrate my legendary imagination by flinging myself straight into my look at what our favourite UK Marvel mags were up to in this week of that year.

I know little of this comic.

In fact, when I say, "little," I mean nothing.

The Guardians of the Galaxy are probably still having trouble with the Reavers of Arcturus, Deathlok's probably still having trouble with his creators, and the Watcher's probably providing us with another morality tale designed to give us pause about the way in which we conduct our lives.

It also looks like Baron Tagge's having problems with icicles.

After all these issues, the Hulk's still fighting Machine Man.

You can't help feeling a fight between the two really shouldn't be lasting this long. In fact, I wouldn't have expected it to last for more than two panels - and one of those would involve Machine Man's body parts flying in various directions, while partially obscured by the word, "SMASH!!!"

Ant-Man and the Wasp are still trapped at insect size and still having trouble with the Whirlwind.

We're still working our way through the origins of the Black Knight and the Silver Surfer, while the Defenders are about to meet the Red Rajah who so isn't Dr Strange in disguise and no one could possibly ever suspect that he is.

The Iron Legion are still causing trouble for the universe and the Doctor.

We get a text piece about the ancient Doctor Who story The Keys of Marinus.

There's yet more of Marvel's adaptation of War of the Worlds. I can only hope it's being better received than the BBC's adaptation will be, exactly forty years later.

And that Cyberman's still investigating human emotion.

But, thrilling as that all is, it literally pales into insignificance beside the chance to win two portable televisions - even if they do look to be black and white.

But what's this? Someone's misspelt, "Delgado," on the cover? That's the sort of thing that can get you killed by a homicidal inflatable chair.

And, for that matter, for just how long has The Keys of Marinus been all one word?

Spidey's out to thwart the Black Cat who's determined to rescue her ailing dad from prison.

Is the Black Cat's dad the cat burglar who turned up in the strip, way back in Steve Ditko's day, just as the Master Planner storyline was about to break out?

Daredevil's fighting voodoo in Central Park, in the form of a man dressed as a skeleton who does things to chickens.

I think Godzilla's just polished off Red Ronin and has now found his true calling in life - terrorising cowboys.

The FF are in the Andromeda galaxy, trying to help the locals stave off the Skrulls in the Nova crossover we've recently been experiencing in the FF's American mag.

And Iron Man's still fighting the Super-Adaptoid at the Avengers Mansion. Needless to say, the villain they don't call, "Supie," is confident of victory.

2000 AD - October 1981.

If you live by the motto, "Ridicule is nothing to be scared of," then you were in paradise in October 1981.

That's because the month arrived in style with the UK singles chart ruled by Prince Charming from Adam and the Ants.

But, soon, it lost that spot to It's My Party by Dave Stewart and Barbara Gaskin which hogged the top slot for the rest of the month.

Over on the album chart, Genesis began October at Number One, with ABACAB, only to be deposed by the Police's Ghost in the Machine which, in turn, was forced to yield to the irresistible rise of the Human League's Dare.

Elsewhere in the music industry, something big was stirring because it was the month in which Queen released their Greatest Hits LP which has since gone on to become the UK's best-selling album of all time, just ahead of ABBA Gold and Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

On the football field, twenty four year-old Bryan Robson became Britain's most expensive footballer yet, with a £1.5 million move from West Bromwich Albion to Manchester United. The current British transfer record is the £89 million Manchester United paid for Paul Pogba from Juventus. Such is the nature of inflation.

Meanwhile, at the cinemas, October saw the release of Galaxy of Terror, which is a title that rings a bell, though I'm not sure if I've ever seen it, and Halloween II which I also can't recall if I've seen.

But scary-sounding films weren't all we had to keep us entertained that month, because we also had the Galaxy's greatest comic to keep us going.

It was still giving us The Mean Arena, Judge Dredd (who was suffering from Block Mania after sorting out The Hotdog Run), Tharg's Future Shocks and Rogue Trooper. 

However, the big news was that Prog 232 saw the debut of The Ace Trucking Co starring the pointy-headed Garp and sundry other characters I recall vaguely.

In other matters, I do wonder what the Zarjaz free gift was that came with that issue.

I have no recollection at all of KP Griddles, as advertised on the front of Prog 233. Apparently, they don't make them anymore, whatever they were.

I now have a craving for Rishy XL crisps. Whatever happened to Rishy XL? Once upon a time, you couldn't move for their crisps. Now, they're nowhere to be seen.

November 21st, 1979 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

On this night in 1979, BBC One was broadcasting The Trouble With Tribbles, that dreadful warning about why you should never ever feed your pets.

Clearly, with such terror on the loose, I was going to have to take refuge in my record player but that meant I'd need an intimate knowledge of what was happening on the singles chart at the time.

What was happening was that Dr Hook were still Number One with When You're in Love With a Beautiful Woman but challenging hard were Queen, at Number Two, with Crazy Little Thing Called Love while the Jam were reigning supreme at Number Three with Eton Rifles.

What chance did we have against a tie and a crest?

None whatsoever.

And we may have, likewise, been no match for their untamed wit but were we a good match for Marvel UK's comics of that week?

I'm not sure what's going on with Darth Vader's eyes on this cover. I can only assume he's been taking some of Rick Jones' vitamin C tablets.

However, it's all drama as Domina Tagge tricks Vader and Luke Skywalker into having a duel in a location which guarantees both their deaths.

Despite this, I suspect they both survive to duel another day.

I suspect Domina Tagge may not prove to be quite so fortunate.

Upon the doings of the Guardians of the Galaxy and the Watcher, I can shed no light but I do know Deathlok's busy being crucified by his creators, for the crime of having a will of his own.

Needless to say, it's not long before he exerts that free will by smashing in their skulls.

I'm also aware that this issue's back cover features an add for that most majestic of all synthesizers the Stylophone.

The Hulk's still trying to rescues Trish Starr from Machine Man, even though Machine Man doesn't have her.

Ant-Man and the Wasp are now both stuck at insect size and at the mercy of the Whirlwind. Some scientists they turned out to be.

We're still getting the origins of both the Black Knight and the Silver Surfer.

Meanwhile, the Defenders are up against the terror of the Cobalt Man, as Egghead continues his attempts to get his hands on some jewel or other.

Spidey and the Black Cat are getting randy again.

Elsewhere, Aunt May's recovered from the death that so threatened to disrupt her comic book career.

My knowledge of the back-up strips is patchy but I do know Iron Man's up against the Super-Adaptoid who's shown up at the Avengers Mansion for some reason.

Hooray! We get the chance to win some of those fancy futuristic digital watches that are all the rage.

Not only that but we get a feature about the universe's deadliest potatoes, the Sontarans.

Elsewhere, the Iron Legion are still causing trouble for our hero and, no doubt, the entire planet Earth.

We also get an adaptation of the First Doctor's adventure Marco Polo.

The War of the Worlds adaptation rumbles on and that Cyberman's still investigating the thing humans know as, "Emotion."

The Mighty Isis #7. Feel the Fangs of the Serpent King!

There was a time, long ago, when you could say you were a big fan of Isis without fearing the CIA were going to monitor all your phone calls from now on.

And that time was the 1970s when the heroine of that name was on our TV screens and in our comics.

She was like Wonder Woman but Egyptian instead of Greek, and obscure instead of iconic.

Granted when I say, "Our," I don't remember her ever being on my TV screen but I did, at least, experience her comic book incarnation, as I had a massive two issues of her mag.

Thinking about it, two issues was quite a lot, as the book only lasted for eight before folding.

Filled with the magic of Ancient Egypt, fully embracing bondage and supported by its own TV show, why did such a book fail? Why?

There's only one way to find out and that's to revisit the earliest of those two issues I possessed.

Fresh from having dealt with some threat to humanity, the mighty Isis is floating around the skies, woodland and cities of America, worrying about who she really is and why she keeps being rude to people, when Rick Mason, friend of her alter-ego Andrea Thomas, decides to investigate from where this mysterious heroine came.

So, he goes to the local museum and reads up on her, discovering, via a parchment, that she's probably the reincarnation of a young woman who once helped a benign wizard defeat Serpenotep the evil sorcerer who'd briefly taken over the land of the Nile.

The only problem is that, having worked all that out, Rick decides to totally ignore the parchment's warning to never say out loud a deadly phrase it contains, and the next thing he knows, he's been possessed by Serpenotep who's been lurking inside a nearby model pyramid for a few thousand years.

Admittedly, on the cover, it says one thousand years, meaning he was imprisoned in 977 AD, which suggests a little more research might have been needed from whoever worded the cover.

Suitably liberated, Serpenotep sets out to get his revenge on Isis, for trapping him in the model, and sets about turning innocent people into snakes.

Needless to say, our heroine isn't standing for that kind of nonsense and it's not long before she and her foe are conducting a battle of wits in the museum, one she wins, thanks to her knowing more about vacuums than he knows about plastic.

However, as she departs with Rick, she does so unaware that Serpenotep has control of his body and that Rick's mind is now trapped in the model pyramid.

Well this all sounds fine, so, why did it fail?

I think the fairly obvious answer is it's all far too low-key. Isis spends all her time, between fights, either fretting over her true nature or being haughty with mortals. She's nothing like as bad as the Silver Surfer but, then again, her agonising doesn't have anything like the same emotional content as his did. While he was always wracked with anguish over his psychological crises, she's just sort of a bit mopey about them.

There's also a problem that she seems to have no direct emotional link to her supporting cast of three characters, even though one of them is her mother, another is the man who loves her and the final one is her oldest enemy. They might as well be strangers for all the difference it makes.

On the plus side, her self-questioning and sense of alienation does seek to develop her more as a character than I would have expected from a spin-off of a Saturday morning children's TV show. It just doesn't develop her in a way that's particularly compelling.

In the end, writer Jack C Harris and artists Mike Vosburg and Frank Chiarmonte have given us a competent but workmanlike comic whose protagonist doesn't really engage us. There's nothing actively bad about the tale but there's nothing that makes you particularly want to find out what happens next either.

Ultimately, it all feels a bit depressed. Imagine Marvin the Paranoid Android created a comic. That's sort of what we've got here.

November 14th, 1979 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Just how disastrous can your life get?

This week in 1979, you almost found out.

That's because NORAD, and the Alternate National Military Command Center in Maryland, detected a massive incoming Russian nuclear attack.

Happily, it was all a misunderstanding and we're all still alive to laugh about it.

What else are we all still alive to laugh about?

Penelope Keith!

And Peter Bowles!

That's because, even as we were avoiding nuclear holocaust, the UK gathered around its TV sets to watch the final episode of the first series of that duo's sitcom To the Manor Born. In fact, so popular was it that 23.95 million of us did so, making it the UK's all-time highest viewing figure for a recorded TV show.

Elsewhere, on the singles chart, that week, the roost was suddenly ruled by When You're in Love With a Beautiful Woman by Dr Hook, the song which first made us aware of the full tragedy of those who must date the gorgeous.

Over on the album chart, the top slot was claimed by ABBA's Greatest Hits Vol 2. It seems amazing to think there was a time when the world had never heard of ABBA Gold and had to seek solace in a totally different greatest hits package.

Speaking of hits, what were Marvel UK's smash hit comics up to that week?

I don't have a clue what this smash hit comic is up to but I do know Darth Vader's in it, because he's on the front of it - and has clearly decapitated most of the main cast, having done it so recently that their heads are still flying through the air from the strike.

I would assume Deathlok, The Guardians of the Galaxy and Tales of the Watcher are also included.

The Hulk's still on a mission to rescue Trish Starr from Machine Man who doesn't have her.

Finally rid of the origin and uninteresting backstory of Captain Britain, we get the origin and uninteresting backstory of the Black Knight.

Ant-Man's reunited with the Wasp but, thinking him dead, her chauffeur's making moves on her - and we all know who he really is.

We get the origin of the Silver Surfer.

And Egghead's out to steal a mysterious jewel from the Defenders, not grasping that they don't actually have it.

There's been an awful lot of Egghead/Trish Starr action in this book over the last few weeks. I'm starting to wonder if it's all some sort of masterplan by Dez.

The Iron Legion are still causing trouble.

War of the Worlds is still going on. How appropriate, bearing in mind that, mere days from now, the BBC will start broadcasting its own adaptation of that book.

A Cyberman's out to learn more about human emotion, that he might better be able to defeat us. I think we can all guess where that's all going to lead.

But none of that matters. All that matters is we can win a Raleigh Chopper bike! Why, if the Doctor had a Raleigh Chopper, I bet he'd  never bother with the TARDIS ever again!

It's the return of the one foe Spider-Man can never hope to beat. Why? Because he has the powers of a fly and, as we all know, spiders can never hope to defeat flies.

Hold on, I think I'm starting to spot a flaw in the logic behind this match-up.