Friday 10 July 2015

Marisa Tomei is Aunt May!

Marisa Tomei is the new Aunt May in the new Spider-Man movie
Marisa Tomei, by David Shankbone
[GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0],
via Wikimedia Commons
As we all know, the greatest casting decision in the history of Hollywood was the one to hire John Wayne as Genghis Khan in The Conqueror.

Who better for that part than a man determined to play a medieval Mongolian warlord as if he were the sheriff of Dodge City?

But now there's an even greater casting decision been made - because the internet has informed me that Marisa Tomei is to play Aunt May in the next Spider-Man movie.

I would put it to the world that this is not only the greatest casting decision in the history of humanity. It's probably the greatest decision of any kind in the history of humanity.

Quite frankly, this is an act of perverse genius.

It's perverse because, on the face of it, it makes no sense at all to cast a woman who is sex on legs as an ailing octogenarian widow.

On the other hand, it's genius because it means we presumably won't have to endure the sight of Aunt May doddering around, clutching her chest and declaring, "My heart!" every time anything exciting happens. Something she managed to do almost every month for all the years in which I was a reader of the strip.

I can understand that having a character constantly on the verge of death does add dramatic tension to a strip but it also, like Aunt May, does tend to get old very quickly.

The casting also deals with the problem I've moaned about before on this blog. Which is, just how exactly can a boy who gets his powers in his mid-teens possibly have an aunt who appears to be in her eighties? To achieve this, she'd have to be older than her own mother. In fact, she'd probably have to be older than her own grandmother.

But of course the thing that really makes it a stroke of genius is it's Marisa Tomei. Unlike John Wayne, Marisa Tomei is a brilliant actor and should, by law, be in every film ever made.

And that's why it's a great decision.

Because, in the end, it's how good the cast are that'll make the film work. Not how old they are.

I therefore - despite the hornets' nest the casting has stirred up - give a great big Steve Does Comics thumbs-up to the greatest casting choice ever.


Anonymous said...

I never thought I'd say this, but, if Marissa is playing Aunt May, I would like to see a nude scene featuring Aunt May in the next Spiderman movie, or at least a scene where Aunt May is wearing something titillating, like a peek-a-boo nightie or a dominatrix outfit. Even just a scene showing Aunt may stepping out of the shower would be welcome.

B Smith said...

One suspects that when this movie comes out, there will be a lot of male viewers doddering about, clutching their chest and declaring "My heart!"....

Joe S. Walker said...

Marisa Tomei is 50. It's part of an actress' progress. A few years ago Bulle Ogier, the most beautiful and charismatic actress in French cinema,* said she didn't make films any more, by and large, because nearly all the parts she got offered were three days' work playing somebody's mother. At least Aunt May is a prominent supporting role.

(*And still kind of hot at 76!)

Anonymous said...

I think Aunt May in the comics was actually about 37 but a wild youth of drinking, smoking and drug-taking had aged her beyond her years (about 40 years beyond) - she'd probably been smoking 100+ cigarettes a day which explains her heart problems :)

Anonymous said...

You might be right, Colin.
That's what happened to me.

Joe S. Walker said...

When Aunt May was created in the comics she was just "an old lady" and in those frankly more sensible days that was enough.