Giant-Size Avengers #2. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 5.

Sometimes you can't help wondering how Kang the Conqueror keeps track of who he is at any one time.

Tipped off that the Avengers have been abducted by Kang, Hawkeye rushes to the Avengers Mansion, to be met by the Swordsman and Rama-Tut.

It seems Rama-Tut's a later version of Kang who, tired of endless conflict, returned to Ancient Egypt to reclaim his throne before deciding to prevent his former self from acquiring the Celestial Madonna. For that end, he had himself sealed in his tomb, in a state of suspended animation, until the time was right for him to awaken.

The trio set off to stop Kang's attempts to start World War Three but first have to defeat Kang's Macrobots, each of which contains and is powered by a paralysed Avenger.

Once that's finally achieved, Rama-Tut tackles Kang who refuses to listen to sense. The physical clash between the pair causes the walls of Time to break down, allowing Kang to see it's Mantis who's destined to be the Celestial Madonna.

The villain decides that if he can't have her, no one can and tries to kill her but the Swordsman flings himself at the shot and, as Rama-Tut and Kang vanish, fighting, the Avengers are left to ruminate on the death of their fallen colleague.

Hooray! Hawkeye's back! He may be the second-least powerful member the Avengers have ever had - and not always have the best of attitudes - but, like Hank Pym, he's always felt like one of the things that makes the Avengers the Avengers. Although I suppose the fact that he returns in an issue whose cover promises us the death of an Avenger tips us off as to who that Avenger'll be. Let's face it, they're not going to bring Hawkeye back as the natural replacement for Thor, Iron Man or the Vision.

That means it can only be the Swordsman who cops it and, at last, the poor sucker gets to be the hero he's dreamed of being. And finally, after spending chunks of the issue insulting him, Mantis comes to appreciate him.

It's interesting that on the page where Kang and Rama-Tut's fight breaks down the fabric of Time, not only do we get to see all of Iron Man's previous incarnations and Hank Pym's but we also get to see Dr Doom, leaving us in no doubt that Kang, Rama-Tut, The Scarlet Centurion and Doom are all supposed to be the same character. Apparently Doom was also going to be on the cover, alongside the other two but the idea was dropped. If we take it that Doom is indeed the same character as them, it does raise all sorts of questions of just where he fits in their various time-lines.

Also wanting to know where they fit in are Mantis and the Scarlet Witch. Held prisoner in large glass tubes, still not sure which of them's the Celestial Madonna, the fate of the world hung in the balance, it's good to see the pair of them showing their sense of perspective by bickering over which of them's the Vision's girlfriend. They really do come across as stunningly up their own backsides in these exchanges. Still, at least Wanda compensates to some degree by finally stopping being useless and flattening Thor with a meteor.

PS. Does anyone know if Neal Adams had a hand in the inking? Dave Cockrum gets sole art credit in the issue but there're certain panels where the inks have a noticeably Neal Adams vibe to them, not least in the last three panels and also the full-page splash where the Avengers combine to attack the Thor-powered Macrobot.

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 8: Batman meets the Spectre. Brave and the Bold #116.

Once more Steve Does Comics casts off the icy grip of the grave, whips out its Ouija and returns from beyond the veil to look at another comic I always wanted as a kid but never owned.

This time it's the meeting of DC's two finest men of mystery, as Batman teams up with the Spectre to fight whatever forces it is they're up against.

As a kid, I loved Batman and I loved the Spectre. Thanks to The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, I also loved murderous multi-armed goddesses. I loved Jim Aparo and I loved 100 page comics. So, when you put all that together on one cover, how was I ever not going to be drawn to The Brave and the Bold #116?

Although I never had it as a kid, I read this tale a few months ago, online, and was somewhat disappointed with it, as Batman and the Spectre acted like old buddies and even knew each other's secret identities. It has to be said the Spectre presented here seemed far removed from the totally unknown Vengeance of God character I knew from the Michael Fleisher Adventure Comics tales.

But then, I don't suppose that version of the character would even have wasted his time teaming up with Batman.

Avengers #129. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 4.

Way back in the early-to-mid-1980s, Madonna Louise Ciccone might've been singing about her Lucky Star but, in The Avengers #129, her Celestial counterpart gets her very own star - right above the Avengers Mansion.

To some this might seem like a good thing, as all that light spilling from it into the mansion'll save the Avengers a fortune on electricity.

But it only brings trouble, as Kang the Conqueror takes its appearance as his cue to launch an attack on our derring-doers.

It seems that, whoever the Celestial Madonna's to be, her child's going to be the most powerful being in the Universe and, like the unassuming soul he is, Kang's decided that if anyone's going to be father to that child, it's going to be him.

So he defeats the Avengers with ridiculous ease, captures the Scarlet Witch, Mantis and Agatha Harkness - in case one of them's suitable material to be the next Mrs Kang - and whisks them all off to Egypt where he's set up base in the pyramid of his earlier incarnation Rama-Tut.

Being the insensitive brute he is, Kang doesn't bother capturing the Swordsman, who he deems to not be worthy of his attention; leaving Swordy to make his own way to Egypt, under the captive Agatha Harkness' mystic guidance. Unfortunately, just as he's about zap Kang, he's stopped by someone who declares himself to be Rama-Tut.

I suppose the main thought this issue raises is what's going on in Kang's head? Not knowing who the Celestial Madonna's going to be, he captures all three women who're present at the Avengers Mansion - including the not exactly youthful Agatha Harkness. I don't like to be ageist but, really, what're the chances that a woman who looks like she'll never see 100 again is going to be one he's after? And what's he going to do if she is?

From one thing that doesn't bear thinking about to one man who doesn't get thought about. And that's the Swordsman. The former villain continues his long decline into psychic collapse as he now has to battle on, knowing that both the woman he loves and the Avengers' deadliest foe view him as beneath consideration.

Not only that but, as the issue nears its climax, he has to overcome the knowledge that he's only still alive to see it because a vampire he's encountered in Rama-Tut's pyramid couldn't be bothered to kill him when it saw more appetising prey. I know from personal experience that it rarely does a man's self-esteem good to know he's not even viewed as a worthwhile meal.

Still, there is at least hope at the end of the tale that he can turn it round.

But just who is that man claiming to be Rama-Tut - and how can he be there if Kang is too?

Only Steve Englehart and the next instalment of our thrilling serial can tell us.

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 7: Swamp Thing #5.

Glug, gluggle glog and slurg; bubbling like a mad thing, Steve Does Comics emerges from the swamp to list the latest comic it always wanted as a child but never possessed.

I only ever had one issue of DC's Swamp Thing - and this wasn't it. The one I had was, if I remember correctly, the penultimate issue and drawn by Nestor Redondo. While the inside of that comic was a beautiful thing to look at, the cover was pretty run of the mill.

Swamp Thing #5 on the other hand, I have no idea what it looks like inside but you can't ignore the thing it's wrapped in.

Actually this is the first time I've ever seen it in colour as, at the time, I'd only ever encountered it via those one-page ads DC used to run where they'd post a picture of five or six random titles they had out that month, while reproducing them with a seriously strange colour scheme. Therefore I had no inkling as to how brightly-coloured parts of the cover really are.

Still, even if I'd have preferred it to be more darkly lit, the sheer dramatic composition of Bernie Wrightson's image - with its echoes of old Universal horror films, and Swampy bursting out of the frame itself to do some serious smiting - was more than enough to sell me on the thing.

All of this inevitably raises one obvious question. And that's the subject of the site's latest life-or-death poll which can be found in the life-or-death sidebar to the right of this life-or-death blog.

Avengers #128. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 3.

If you should always know which witch is which witch, you should always know never to let anyone mystically seal you off in a room until cock crows.

Sadly, the Scarlet Witch fails to heed this advice as, after returning from the wedding of her brother to Crystal of the Inhumans, she agrees to let the Fantastic Four's nanny Agatha Harkness tutor her in the real ways of witchcraft.

Needless to say, trouble soon follows. Within moments of Harkness magically isolating the pair of them in the Avengers Mansion, they're attacked by a demon called Necrodamus who's after their souls.

With Harkness and her familiar knocked out, the Scarlet Witch is forced to defeat the demon on her own, using her hex power for an unprecedented fourth time in one fight, at which point it becomes clear the whole battle was set up by Harkness as part of the Witch's first lesson.

Meanwhile, on the nookie front, Mantis finally gets round to telling her supposed beloved The Swordsman to sling his hook, and then wastes no time coming on to the Vision.

The course of true lust rarely runs smooth though and, before she can make a serious stab at getting her leg over, a mysterious star appears from nowhere above the Avengers' Mansion, flooding the place with light.

When the Avengers rush outside, they're confronted by Kang who declares he's going to conquer the 20th Century. And there's nothing anyone can do to can stop him! Nothing!

With this tale, the emphasis suddenly shifts from Mantis and onto her love-rival the Scarlet Witch. It's not before time. She's been in the strip for years by this point and for the most part's been next to useless, spending most of their fights stood around trying to conserve a power that rarely achieves anything beyond annoying a foe. Clearly writer Steve Englehart's decided it's time to beef up her powers so she'll actually be more use in a life or death struggle than I would. She still comes across as fairly useless in the fight with Necrodamus but at least she comes out on top in the end, even if it's more by luck than judgement.

On the art front, the combination of Sal Buscema and Charlton Comics' stalwart Joe Staton's an odd one. Buscema always had a somewhat flat and simple style, with Staton having a more quirky, cluttered look and plenty of contrast between light and shade. At times his inks threaten to overwhelm Buscema's pencils while adding visual depth to them. It's not an off-putting combination but it's likewise not a natural one either.

Mantis really is coming across as a first class biyatch by now, callously dismissing the Swordsman's desperate declarations of love, while on her way to take advantage of Wanda's absence by coming on to the Vision.

But you have to hand it to Kang. How many times over the years has he turned up declaring he's about to conquer the 20th Century and that nothing can stop him, only for him to be sent packing five minutes later, with his tail between his legs? And still he never gives up hope.

One can only hope the Scarlet Witch can show equal sticking power in her romantic struggles with her love-rival.

Sheffield's Most Wanted. Part 6: Batman Limited Collector's Edition.

While Mantis takes a breather, pondering the twists and turns of her battle with the Star-Stalker, it's time for me to slide down the Batpole of Nostalgia, into the Batcave of Reverie, into the Batmobile of Memory and out onto the streets of Comicdom City to consider yet another mag I always wanted as a kid but never got.

You may just have guessed from my subtle intro that this time out it's Batman and his Limited Collector's Edition.

Sadly, even though I was indeed a limited collector, I never managed to come by a copy of it.

But one look at that Neal Adams cover, showing Batman running around in mud, when he should've had the sense to make Alfred do that, should be enough to explain why I wanted it.

Nor was the cover the only secret of its allure. If the accompanying blurb was to be believed, the mag had 6 spine-tingling stories, 3 super-size pin-ups, a guide on how to draw Batman, and yet another 3D diorama cut-out.

I'm telling you; if only I'd had all those collector's editions, my life would've been so 3D that I'd've ended up with a sense of depth that would've left me thinking Radiohead sounded like Wham.

Avengers #124. The Celestial Madonna Saga: Part 2.

This is the issue that reveals that sometimes in life the worst thing you can do if you're evil is to talk too much. Therefore, being a creature of purest evil, I'll learn that lesson and get straight to the point.

Still in the temple of the Priests of Pama, the Avengers find themselves confronted by Monsieur Khruul's killer, a talking  space dragon called the Star-Stalker which tells them it feeds on the energy of planets but had once been defeated by the priests, who'd discovered its sole weakness.

Now, with them having been killed last issue by Monsieur Khruul, there's nothing to stop it from destroying the Earth - and that includes the Avengers who get nowhere in their attempts to battle it.

It all looks like curtains for our favourite planet until Mantis realises the Star-Stalker can be killed by heat and gets the Vision to zap it with his solar eyeballs.

You do have to wonder about the lack of powers of observation of the Avengers. They're total inability to notice a giant space dragon mere feet away from them at the tale's beginning doesn't exactly suggest they're the sharpest knives in the drawer.

Then again, the Star-Stalker's not too bright either, giving them a long monologue about itself that lets them know it has a fatal weakness, before harping on at every opportunity about the fact it has a fatal weakness. Granted, he doesn't actually tell them what that weakness is but still you'd think he'd have the sense not to tell everyone he meets that he has one.

On the Mantis front, we learn more about her origins. It turns out her alleged tutors the Priests of Pama were Kree pacifists banished from their home world for not liking violence.

This seems a somewhat ironic back-story considering they were the ones who taught Mantis how to be handy in a punch-up and even, presumably, were the ones who taught her her legendary death-grip which, from last issue's example, seems to consist mostly of crushing your face between her thighs. Clearly the Kree have a somewhat liberal understanding of the word, "Pacifist."

On the art front, things are looking up considerably as John Buscema and Dave Cockrum take over to create a hybrid of their styles which looks as slick and polished as you'd expect. Mantis in particular looks the best she's ever done.

So, at last we're getting somewhere in our quest to find out what the deal is with her. Despite her protests, her knowledge of a secret panel in the temple suggests she is indeed Libra's daughter and that she was indeed raised by the Priests of Pama. But to what end?

Someone too busy to worry about that right now is the Swordsman who, after all his recent troubles, is clearly on a sad and sorry downward spiral. If only he'd never left that sideshow he used to work at.

But then, if only the Star-Stalker had had the sense to keep its trap shut.