The Golden Voyage of Sinbad - Worlds Unknown #7.

Apart from Rod Stewart, has there ever been a more famous sailor than Sinbad; that daring explorer who never turned down a chance to tangle with giant eggs?

There are those who'll tell you he was Chinese. There are those who'll tell you he was from the Middle East. There are even some mad fools who'll tell you he never existed at all.

One thing's for sure, all our childhoods would have been an awful lot duller if not for the inspiration he gave to Ray Harryhausen.

But Sinbad wasn't alone in enlivening our youthful lives.

So did Marvel Comics.

And so, when it happened, it seemed only appropriate that the worlds of Marvel and Harryhausen should at last be combined as Worlds Unknown #7 gave us an adaptation of Harryhausen's classic film The Golden Voyage of Sinbad.

Here's what's going down in Sinbadland. Sinbad is sailing around when one of his men spots a small, flying creature and, for no good reason, tries to shoot it, causing it to drop the strange metal object it's been carrying.

Not bothering to ask any philosophical questions about the ethicality of shooting at things that are doing you no harm, and then stealing what they're  carrying, Sinbad soon finds himself in the city of Marabia where he slaps around the object's rightful owner and then finds himself being recruited by the local, golden-masked king, to help thwart an evil wizard called Koura who, as we all know, was played in the film by the legend that is Tom Baker.

Needless to say, for reasons I'm not totally clear about, this sets Sinbad and Koura on a sea-born race to reach an island and learn whatever its secret is.

But that's not before Koura brings the wooden figurehead of Sinbad's ship to life and gets it to steal our hero's charts.

It's at this point that issue #7 terminates and we learn that we're going to have to wait for issue #8 to find out how it all ends.

Obviously, we all know how it all ends, because we've all seen the movie.

In fact, we've seen it frequently. Mostly every bank holiday Monday, because it's on TV every bank holiday Monday and has been for about thirty five years.

Therein may lie the adaptation's Achilles heel.

Which is that we've all seen the movie and can therefore directly compare it to the comic.

And it's in this direct comparison that the fatal flaw in the concept of adapting a Ray Harryhausen movie is revealed.

That's that the central pleasure of any Harryhausen film dwells not within its plot and characters. It dwells within seeing rubber models come to life and fight people. Sadly, in a comic, that thrill's lost, as there are no rubber monsters in it, just drawings on a page; drawings of monsters and drawings of people. Hence there's no gap between the real and fantastical elements and the enchantment is lost.

There's also the problem that there's very little difference between a Sinbad tale and a Conan tale and, by this stage, Marvel had been doing Conan tales for years - but with the advantage that they weren't tied to a movie script and could therefore make the strip far more dynamic, in the mighty Marvel style, with a freedom that a faithful movie adaptation inevitably lacks.

It's written by Len Wein, and it's drawn by George Tuska and Vince Colletta and, while the art's not off-putting (Tuska makes things less cartoony than he sometimes does), nor is it particularly gripping. Restricted by the need for faithfulness, the thing does often feel as wooden as Sinbad's murderous figurehead.

In the end, it's not terrible, it's all competently done but it does feel rather by-the-numbers and thus lacks the atmosphere and magic of the movie.

But the main appeal for me lies in seeing Brian Clemens get a first-page credit.

As a producer and writer, Clemens was of course strongly involved in such treasures as The Avengers, The Persuaders, The Protectors and The Professionals, not to mention Adam Adamant Lives and the cinematic oddities that were And Soon The Darkness, Dr Jekyll and Sister Hyde and Captain Kronos. And if that isn't enough to make him deserve being immortalised in a comic, I don't know what would be.

July 12th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

July 12th was an exciting Friday for all fans of Marvel UK.

Why?

Because it was the week The Savage Sword of Conan disappeared completely from the newsagents of Britain.

Admittedly, that in itself wasn't particularly exciting - especially if you happened to be from Cimmeria and had been rooting for your local hero.

However, it did mean Conan suddenly moved into the Avengers' mag.

As I read The Avengers every week and had never even seen an issue of Savage Sword of Conan, this was very exciting for me - especially as it featured tales from Barry Smith's peak period on the strip.

It was, however, the first time Marvel UK had suffered the indignity of having to merge two comics due to poor sales. But, if we'd momentarily feared that it signalled the start of a bleaker new era for the company, we could always rely on their remaining mags to divert our thoughts from such musings.

Help! Help! They're kidnapping Marisa Tomei!

Meanwhile, Lee and Kirby's attempt to make sense of Thor's origin continues apace.

This is it! We suddenly have a comic that features the Avengers, Conan, Dr Strange and Shang-Chi. There may be no common thread linking those four strips but what kind of lunatic wouldn't want a combination like that?

What with the Avengers' Adamantium Ultron storyline and the Dr Strange Shuma-Gorath tale, I'm trying to work out if this meant there were any issues in this period when The Avengers, Conan and Dr Strange strips were all simultaneously drawn by Barry Smith.

"Don't count on it, baldy!"? Are they sure he now has the mind of Bruce Banner? I don't recall Bruce Banner ever talking like that.

I do, however, believe this signals that the Hulk is back in the land of Jarella.

The bad news is that the Jester's back in the land of Daredevil.

I had the original US version of this tale, which was nicely pleasing for me.

Sadly, I can't remember anything at all that happens in it.

Yeah! That's right! I'm going to strangle you into taking me to Ape City, whether you like it or not! Even though you were almost certainly going there anyway, what with it being the only inhabited place on Earth known to the simian denizens of the Planet of the Apes movies!

Meanwhile, Marvel's adaptation of The Golden Voyage of Sinbad continues. A tale I aim to be reviewing in the not-too-distant future, provided I can find my copy.

I'd love to know what the story is behind this cover. It's always struck me as being very un-Marvel-like. It does have a relaxing elegance to it though.

Marisa Tomei is Aunt May!

Marisa Tomei, by David Shankbone
[GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0],
via Wikimedia Commons

As we all know, the greatest casting decision in the history of Hollywood was the one to hire John Wayne as Genghis Khan in The Conqueror.

Who better for that part than a man determined to play a medieval Mongolian warlord as if he were the sheriff of Dodge City?

But now there's an even greater casting decision been made - because the internet has informed me that Marisa Tomei is to play Aunt May in the next Spider-Man movie.

I would put it to the world that this is not only the greatest casting decision in the history of humanity. It's probably the greatest decision of any kind in the history of humanity.

Quite frankly, this is an act of perverse genius.

It's perverse because, on the face of it, it makes no sense at all to cast a woman who is sex on legs as an ailing octogenarian widow.

On the other hand, it's genius because it means we presumably won't have to endure the sight of Aunt May doddering around, clutching her chest and declaring, "My heart!" every time anything exciting happens. Something she managed to do almost every month for all the years in which I was a reader of the strip.

I can understand that having a character constantly on the verge of death does add dramatic tension to a strip but it also, like Aunt May, does tend to get old very quickly.

The casting also deals with the problem I've moaned about before on this blog. Which is, just how exactly can a boy who gets his powers in his mid-teens possibly have an aunt who appears to be in her eighties? To achieve this, she'd have to be older than her own mother. In fact, she'd probably have to be older than her own grandmother.

But of course the thing that really makes it a stroke of genius is it's Marisa Tomei. Unlike John Wayne, Marisa Tomei is a brilliant actor and should, by law, be in every film ever made.

And that's why it's a great decision.

Because, in the end, it's how good the cast are that'll make the film work. Not how old they are.

I therefore - despite the hornets' nest the casting has stirred up - give a great big Steve Does Comics thumbs-up to the greatest casting choice ever.

Forty years ago today - July 1975.

There are times in this life when no introduction is necessary.

Sadly, this isn't one of them.

That's somewhat unfortunate, as I can't actually think of an introduction.

Therefore, in the style of that woman in The Valley of Gwangi who made a living out of diving into a tub of water, on horseback, I'll simply plunge in at the deep end and look at what our favourite Marvel heroes were up to in July of exactly forty years ago.

I seem to remember this is that tale where the Avengers keep leaping into exploding floating balls for no good reason at all, until the Beast rescues them by coming up with the radical plan of not leaping into exploding floating balls.

No wonder he was seen as being the intellectual of the X-Men.

This was the first colour Conan comic I ever owned, bought in an indoor market in Blackpool.

I seem to recall it features a giant golden scorpion which - inevitably - comes to life and has to be stopped by Conan.

I don't have a clue if this Demon-Druid is related to the Demon Druid who once fought Thor, nor why he's wearing an outfit that doesn't in any way, shape or form suggest the word, "Druid," to me.

I've read this one but am struggling to recall anything about it.

I do like El Jaguar's mittens though.

I've never read this one but am familiar with Arkon and have long been of the opinion that he needs a good slap.

It's the first ever Hulk tale to be narrated in the first person, by the Hulk. Which, as the Hulk normally tends to refer to himself in the third person, is a strange concept indeed.

I'm not sure I've ever read this one - unless it turns out the Hulk is actually a robot working for the Mandarin. In which case, I have read it.

It's not just Conan who's having trouble with scorpions this month. So is Spider-Man.

Another story that I'm not sure I'm familiar with.

I like to think Ulik wins this time. I've always liked Ulik and am always disappointed when he loses.

July 5th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

This week in 1975, 10cc were Number One on the UK singles chart, with I'm Not In Love.

I suppose it's a classic of sorts but I'm not sure I'm a fan of it. To be honest, I always found that woman on it a bit creepy.

Who was she even supposed to be? Was she his girlfriend? His mother?

For some reason, I've always had it in my head that she was his kinky cyber-nurse from a future too weird to imagine.

Reader, that future is here

But the kinky cyber-nurse isn't.

Therefore, I'll occupy myself by looking back at what Marvel UK were flinging at us in the week when we were being so strongly reminded that big boys don't cry.

I'm assuming this is that Beetle tale where John Romita gets to re-tell Spidey's origin.

But, let's face it, that pales into insignificance before the consciousness-expanding greatness that is Thor's true origin, where they finally try to make sense of the whole Don Blake/Thor situation - and actually succeed!

It's the story where we finally notice that, despite him having been around for years, we've never previously found out what Hawkeye's real name is.

I've never read this one but I like to think it's a tribute to the legendary movie Horror Express.

I have no reason for thinking it might be. I just like the thought that it could be.

It's all getting macho on the Planet of the Apes.

Macho on the Planet of the Apes would have been a great title for one of those, "movies," that were cobbled together from episodes of the TV series.

Granted, it's possible that the world may not agree with that sentiment.

That's no thing in a temple. That's the dread Cancellation Monster that's closing in on our hero. I could be wrong but I think this may be the last ever issue of Marvel UK's Savage Sword of Conan.

It's the news we've all been praying for. It's the death of Mike Murdock. I remain amazed that fireworks weren't set off around the nation when it happened.

The Stranger's back, and causing no end of trouble for our pewter powerhouse.

Fifty years ago today - July 1965.

Melting Meteorologists! It's been the hottest day in over a decade, here in Perfidious Albion!

But how hot were things getting for our favourite Marvel heroes, way back in the month when I Got You, Babe was released, Bob Dylan first went electric, Edward Heath became leader of the Conservative Party and Help hit the cinema screens?

There's only one way to find out...

In the immortal words of Austrian pop legend Falco, the Commissar's in town.

And this is the first tale featuring the Kooky Quartet that I ever read. To this very day, I still recall the tale's shock denouement.

Granted, it wasn't that big a shock, bearing in mind it was the exact same denouement Stan Lee gave us in about fifty percent of the tales he wrote in the 1960s, but, still...

Dr Doom's still causing trouble at the Baxter Building.

It's one of my Thor favourites, as our long-haired hero comes up against a foe who seems to be genuinely unstoppable.

On the other hand, I'm not so keen on this one, as the webbed wonder finds himself as the meat in a Green Goblin/Crime-Master sandwich.

A genuinely strange and disturbing cover for the Thing and Torch.

I'm assuming this is the one where Iron Man thinks he's dreaming that he's up against a bunch of his old foes, when he's not dreaming at all.

Or something like that.

Count Nefaria was involved. That's all I'm sure of.

Meanwhile, it looks like it's joined by the one where Captain America falls victim to the Red Skull's mind-control methodology.

I have no idea at all as to what happens in either of these tales. I do, though, love the title Oh Wasp, Where Is Thy Sting?

The X-Men get themselves a higher class of foe than usual, as the Juggernaut shows up.

June 28th, 1975 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Granny, get your wellies on! It's Glastonbury Weekend!

And that can only mean one thing.

That I've been wading knee-deep in mud and enduring foul and unsanitary conditions at every turn.

Which is a bit worrying, as I've been watching it on TV, in my living room.

To be honest. I can't say Glasto has set my candle alight this year. I did my best to give Florence and the Machine a go - as I do every year, feeling the woman must be doing something right or she wouldn't keep getting invited back - but, just like every year, the secret of her popularity eluded me. Paloma Faith had bags of enthusiasm but possibly not bags of good songs. Burt Bacharach has plenty of good songs but I'd rather see other people perform them. The sight of Kanye West all alone on stage, seemingly performing to himself and himself alone, possessed an air of almost tragi-comic futility that suggests that, if the performance hadn't existed, Samuel Beckett would have had to invent it.

Still, there's all tonight's action to look forward to and if the current weekend does let me down I've always got a different weekend to fall back on.

That's the weekend of exactly forty years ago, way back when Kanye West was only boasting of being the greatest living sperm on Earth.

The Prowler's STILL stopping Spidey from getting to that airport.

Thanks to the magic pencil of Lord Barrington Windsington Smithington, Dr Strange is still up against Nightmare.

I generally try to avoid making definitive statements on the internet, as they're always instantly proven wrong by people who know more than I do but that genuinely has to be the worst-drawn cover I've ever seen on a professionally produced comic.

Those naughty apes are still causing trouble for fun-loving astronauts everywhere.

Conan battles dutifully on but cancellation is now only weeks away.

Unless I miss my ever-loving guess, this is the start of the Captain Axis/Shaper of Worlds tale.

Long-standing readers will be amazed to hear me declare this to be one of my favourite Hulk tales. Something I so rarely do.

I genuinely have no knowledge of this story at all.