Tuesday 12 June 2012

Steve Fights Crime! The journey begins!

Tales to Astonish #35, Ant Man points as a much larger foe aims a gun at him
From the moment I first started reading super-hero comics, I knew that one day a fateful moment would arrive.

Reader, that moment is upon us, as I at last face up to the fact that I can delay no more. I must take to the streets and fight crime wherever I find it.

"But, Steve, you great steaming fool!" I hear you cry. "Have you learned nothing from the first two issues of The Fantastic Four? You can't fight crime without a costume!"

And that's why, over the next few posts, I  shall be assembling a uniform that shall strike fear and dread into the hearts of evil-doers.

Needless to say, I shall take inspiration from the super-doers who've inspired me all my life.

And where else would one begin than with head-wear?

There've been many fine examples of head-wear in comics. Who could neglect the Phantom Stranger's trilby or the Shadow's slouch hat? There's Dr Doom's iron mask. And who could forget Mysterio's goldfish bowl of menace?

But, for me, when it comes to super-hero headgear, there's only one winner.

And that's Ant-Man's cybernetic helmet.

Now, as a child, I didn't have a clue what "cybernetic" meant - and I still don't. I only know it sounds cool.

More than that, it looks cool. Ant-Man might be a feeble, neurotic weakling who poses no threat to any serious wrong-doer but that helmet at least made him look like a pro while he was posing no threat. Not only that but it gave Ant-Man the power to control ants.

Being a cut above Ant-Man, I  of course shan't use it to control ants.

I shall use it to control the wallabies that so famously live wild in the Derbyshire countryside that lies so close to my own dear home. "Attack, my wallabies of justice!" I shall cry. And attack they shall, for even wallabies must bend before the power of cybernetics.

Thus is the first part of my costume assembled. But ahead of me lies an even greater challenge - and the subject of my next post.

A cape - and whether to wear one.

Reader, feel free to share with me your thoughts on your own favourite item of comic book head-wear.


Unknown said...

Great issue of The Ant Man, and with you on the head-wear! ;)

Dougie said...

Mento- "that pot-headed nut"- wore what can only be described as a football helmet with aerials in his mid-60s outings. The Thinker, under the pen of Gil Kane, had a groovy Thinking Cap.

My favourite,however,has to be Barry Smith's Elric and the stovepipe hat once modelled by THE Doctor, Patrick Troughton.

Boston Bill said...

I loved Magneto's helmet.

Steve W. said...

Magneto's helmet is a very strong contender. As is Heimdall's.

Kid said...

I think you should consider wearing a natty pair of those pajamas with the long sleeves. Y'know, the ones that tie your hands behind your back.

Steve W. said...

Eek! This is already my most viewed post of the last seven days. The power of Ant-Man!

Anonymous said...

Hi, I just want to say what a great blog this is. I agree with the point regarding Troughton's headwear but to keep the comics theme going, it's shown at its best in TV Comic.

Steve W. said...

Thanks, Lawyerwithalife. :)

Unknown said...

Surely a mask would be more highly desirable than Ant-man's crazy headgear. How, in point of fact, are you going to protect your secret identity? That is the most fundamental point about being a super-hero. May I suggest Robin's mask. After all, no-one would ever guess who he was under that brief black mask!

Steve W. said...

Argh! There's two Steve W's commenting on this blog. The world is set to descend into total chaos and confusion.

Still, that at least answers the question of how I'll protect my secret identity. I'll just tell everyone I'm you, and it'll be you, not me, the super-villains go looking for. :)

Unknown said...

Ah, but which one of us is the real Steve W?

Steve W. said...

Not me. That's for sure.

dbutler16 said...

But will your cybernetic helmet allow you to shrink down to wallaby size?

For great headgear, don't forget Galactus' purple antlers of Doom. Kirby must have had a thing for outrageous headgear.