Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Steve Fights Crime! Putting the boot in.

X-Men #103, a flying Storm dodges a shot fired from an Irish battlement as the Juggernaut returns
Those of us of a certain age still recall the celebrations when the Berlin Wall came down, and I suspect tonight'll see similar scenes of joy as probably the worst feature even this blog has ever come up with grinds to a halt. I finally complete my quest to assemble the ultimate costume in which I can battle with darkness.

Over the last few days, I've covered the rest of me in the finest attire a crime-fighter could want. Picking and choosing my favourite elements from the costumes of established heroes, I've covered my head, I've covered my chest, I've covered my torsal antipodes. But now for the most important item of them all.

I've never made it a secret that, as far as I'm concerned, the most important part of a super-hero's costume is the footwear. Just as Waye Rooney'll no doubt be bereft tonight if he's left his boots at home, so I cannot fight crime without the finest cobblery this land can produce.

Well, that's easily said, but what to wear?

I've always had a soft spot for calf-length boots that turn down at the top in the style of Captain America and Conan the Barbarian. Then again, I was the only person who liked Supergirl's short-lived 1970s carpet slippers. The Flash had little wings on his boots. The Green Goblin had boots that turned up at the toes.

These are all, no doubt, fine footwear. But I can't get round it; there's one pair of boots that stand out above all others for me.

And those are the boots of Storm. Her original ones. The thigh-high leather ones with the holes in them.

Who can forget the sense of leggy dignity they lent her - as opposed to her unlikely punk phase that made no sense at all and arrived about ten years too late to be topical?

So, there you have it. I now have my costume - composed of Ant-Man's helmet, Batman's cape, Captain America's shirt, Conan the Barbarian's loin cloth and Storm's boots. I think we can all agree it's the finest costume imaginable to mankind and guaranteed to impress passers-by as I stride through the streets of Sheffield.

Or maybe we can't. Maybe you think an altogether different combination would work the sartorial magic every crime-fighter needs. If so, you're perfectly free to outline what elements would, for you, make up your dream super-hero costume.


Dougie said...

Cockrum designed great boots! Shrinking Violet's thigh-length boots with the cuffs; Shadow Lass' batwinged footwear...Avatar of the Futurians had a particularly spiffy pair.

I thought Storm's punk phase was the summer of 1983? Very late in the day by UK standards maybe maybe not so in the US?

southfolkman said...

So now we await the photo of Steve in his full crime fighting regalia.

I mean, that was the point of all this wasn't it..?

Steve W. said...

I do feel some things are best left to the imagination.

Anonymous said...

No, we need the evidence!

Steve W. said...

What a shame my camera's broke.

Boston Bill said...

Here's a rarity: the short-lived Motor Mouth! I actually liked her - plus her boots had a super-power!

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