And I'm celebrating it by totally ignoring it!
Because nothing, NOTHING, could be more important than seeing what was happening in the 1980 Marvel comics which bore the name of this month upon their covers.
Conan decides to beat-up a bunch of height-restricted villains who're holding a group of his friends captive...
...not realising they have an eighty-foot tall bear on their side!
The Hulk's still on a quest to return Jarella's body to its rightful home and, fortunately, he has Captain Marvel around to help him.
Not that that'll stop the pair of them having a punch-up first.
Barely has the Dazzler been launched into the Marvel universe than the company tries to convince us we're interested in her, by having her team-up with Spider-Man to tackle the return of the dreaded Lightmaster.
Admittedly, "team-up," might be a wild misrepresentation, as, from what I can remember, she just blunders around being controlled by the villain.
At last! A huge, talking eyeball reveals to Thor the Asgard-juddering origin of Odin.
I have the idea in my head that he's cobbled together from a bunch of older Asgardians who grabbed hold of a stick which had belonged to the previous incarnation of Odin before he pegged it at Ragnarok.
The Hellfire Club may be a rip-off of a group of villains from the old Avengers TV show but it takes them little time to sort out the X-Men.
All except for Wolverine who's still alive and at liberty to stage a rescue mission from the depths of the sewers.
The only thing I can remember about this tale is we discover that, in his time away from fighting evil, Wonder Man's working as a clown in a children's TV show.
A zillionaire's brain's been transplanted into a stolen Life Model Decoy and now Cap has to stop it as it rampages around town looking to hurt everyone because it's not happy about looking all melty.
It's the big one! HERBIE shows his true colours when he attacks the Fantastic Four.
Except it's not that simple because they're not really HERBIE's true colours. They're those of brain-in-a-bottle Dr Sun who's taken mental control of the diminutive robot.
Having knocked out the Hulk, Iron Man's now trapped in his immobile armour - and his oxygen supply's running out!
There's only one thing for it.
Ant-Man has to enter that armour and repair it before it's too late in a blatant retread of the Avengers tale in which the bug-sized hero enters the Vision's body to repair it.
Black Goliath's changed his name to Giant-Man and helps Spider-Man fight the return of the rapidly growing Meteor Man.
Having said that, I'm not sure Giant-Man's any greater help in this fight than the Dazzler was in hers.
Poor old Bill. No wonder he always seemed depressed.
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23 comments:
Happy Easter All.
Anyone else notice the smoke coming out of Iron Man's nipples?
I never read this issue of Pym's "fantastic voyage" into Iron Man but I do have to wonder if he enters through his nipple?
Conan also has nipples.
Charlie, Iron Man's nipples were completely unmolested in this comic. Ant-Man entered his armour through the rockets in his boots.
My understanding is that Dazzler first appeared in a couple of high profile Marvel guest star slots because she was developed in a licensing deal with Casablanca records who had planned to market a singer, Steve, only it didn't happen. If only we could say the same about Kiss!
Personally, I didn't mind Dazzler. Not that I know anything about that Amazing Spidey story, but I did read the first couple of issues of her own comic - she entered a singing contest to further her career only to make an enemy out of the runner-up, who turns out to be the Enchantress.
Quite why an Asgardian sorceress wanted to win a record contract I don't recall, but the story was endearingly daft. Better than Thor talking to a giant eyeball about Celestials and Wagner for months on end, thats for sure.
We didn't get to see Dazzler's nipples though. I'd definitely have remembered that.
-sean
Sean
On panel 2 of page 11 of ASM #203, the electrodes attached to Dazzler's breasts look very much like areoalae. I have to salute the penciller. Or Lightmaster. Or both.
There may also be the shape of a left nipple showing through her top on panel 1 of page 3.
You're welcome.
I knew we could count on you for helpful info on that issue of ASM dangermash aka The Artistic Actuary, thanks.
-sean
You know, it's interesting that Meteor Man also has two ornamentations on his uniform to accommodate his nipples as well on the Peter Parker mag.
DM - is there anywhere we can see those pages of ASM 203 without buying it? Some other blog perhaps? (I would not expect it here, being a family blog.)
Steve, that Thor issue is where Roy Thomas make Odin's history so complicated and convoluted no sane man could figure it out. And if memory serves, it was told by Odin's own severed eyeball, courtesy of Mimir, everybody's favorite talking fiery well. In Norse mythology Odin plucked out his eye to gain wisdom. I guess that worked.
I not going to recount Thomas' tale of Odin's origin here, because it will make everybody's head hurt and some of us are already nursing hangovers.
Some years later, Walt Simonson would discount the whole thing, having Buri telling Thor that Odin's wayward eyeball had a "grudge" and was fulla bulls#!t.
What have we learned here, besides the fact that I've got entirely too much time on my hands and it's not healthy? We've learned that Odin is such a big deal that even one of his eyeballs is sentient and can go rogue and cause trouble.
M.P.
Sean, that's the first time I ever heard about the Dazzler/Casablanca connection. Sounds plausible,though, seeing that Casablanca Records was pretty disco-heavy back in the day. The only rock acts signed to them that I remember were Kiss & Angel.
Wish I had kept in touch with my pal who was a Polygram/Universal sales rep. He might've been able to detail who the singer would've been & why the deal fell through.
Maybe I'll try to hunt him down on Facebook.
I've emailed those panels to our glorious master, Charlie. Let's see whether they make it past the censors.
It's not mentioned on the cover but Dazzler also makes a brief cameo in Fantastic Four 217.
Charlie, I've forwarded Dangermash's emailed message to you. Let me know if it fails to arrive.
Anonymous, I do have vague memories of her showing up in the FF at some point.
Well, thats very nice for Charlie, Steve, but what about the rest of us? What if we all want to see those panels too?
-sean
Steve - I did get the panels! Thanks DM!
Ummm... Charlie is actually taken aback with how Dazzler is hooked up like a prize cow at a county fair that just delivered a calf.
Good grief what the heck was the artist thinking... or not???
Here you go, Sean. I've found the relevant page online. You can find it here: https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.1ZMb2Swn3iS2SHjU1LXAMgHaLY%26pid%3DApi&f=1
Well, that doesn't work. Let's try shortening it to something less insanely long: https://tinyurl.com/ubhsod3
Cheers Steve, although I have to say after the build up from dangermash aka The Artistic Actuary and Charlie it was a bit underwhelming. Appreciate the effort though.
Charlie, on what the artist was thinking, I can only assume Keith Pollard drew that months Thor first - twenty pages of tedious Roy Thomas exposition about Odin, Celestials, and whatever else he was on about in that issue would mess with anyone's visual sensibilities.
-sean
Sean - anytime I see a woman's bosoms hooked up like "that" well I just think it's over the top. It's one thing to see Iron Man's metal nipple smoking. It's even irrelvant to see Meteor Man with decorative nipple ornamentations. But this is just weird... By Odin's Eye!
Fair point Charlie. Maybe I was already weirded out - before Steve's reply I looked to see if I could find that page online, and no sooner had I typed "Dazzler Spider-Man" than Google prompted "fanfiction"...
Not recommended!
-sean
Actually what were Iron Man's nipple accouterments for?
The circle in the middle was a blaster? And I only recall it being used once, and even then in Marvel's cartoons from 1966 which were just images of the comic. And I seem to recall Pepper Paltrow inserting a pacemaker into his chest through the hole in IM 1 movie?
But the nipple things, I have no recollection. Would he tweak one to make his roller skates come out or something?
Charlie, I think they were stuck on there for artistic reasons. Y'know, break up the empty space a bit, add a little detail.
I'm not saying it's not stupid-looking.
But who can say. Quite often I do not know what I am talking about.
M.P.
Possibly one of Iron Man's nipple things is a cigarette lighter Charlie, you know, like you used to get in cars (hey, its an old costume design).
That would explain the bit of smoke coming from one of them on that cover, right?
I guess the other could just be aesthetic, for symmetry.
-sean
As far as I'm aware, Iron Man's "nipples" were where he connected the cables to recharge his armour.
I only remember his chest light ever being used as a light source, except for one issue in which he used it to change the shape of one of Mr Doll's figurines. How it managed to do that, I have no idea.
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