Thursday, 29 April 2021

April 29th, 1981 - Marvel UK, 40 years ago this week.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon
***

Yet again, the day of the week is named after Thor. And that can only mean it's time for me to investigate what Marvel UK was doing, 40 years ago, and pray I can manage to summon up at least some clue about it all.

Spider-Man and Hulk Weekly #425

Spidey has to fight a bunch of samurais, which you wouldn't have thought would be much of a challenge for a man of his talents.

I'm sure, though, that he'll make a right old meal of it before triumphing.

We also get rip-roaring, rollicking action from the Daughters of the Dragon, the Hulk and Dragon-Lord. All I can say is that someone at Marvel UK is obsessed with dragons, right now.

Presumably, Bruce Banner, Dr Phobos and the Soviet Super-Soldiers are still confronting the menace of The Presence.

Captain America #10, Mr Hyde, Marve UK

Captain America's finally on the oil tanker that's threatening New York - and confronting Mr Hyde who's threatening him.

Then again, it's not much of a confrontation. From what I recall, Mr Hyde knocks him out with remarkable ease.

Tragically, I can shed no light upon just what Iron Man, the Dazzler and Defenders are up to, other than to guess that Tony Stark's still trying to get the better of Justin Hammer and his armour-sabotaging tricks.

Marvel Action #5, Dr Strange and Dormammu

This week's Marvel Action wonders what would have happened had Dr Strange become Dormammu's disciple.

Presumably, the world would have been doomed, as there'd have been no one to protect it from Strange. Frankly, I can't imagine either the Ancient One or Mordo managing to stop him.

Maybe Dr Doom would have stepped in to do something about it, as he'd probably be the Earth's leading practitioner of sorcery who's not working for Dormammu.

Where's Agatha Harkness' phone number when you need it?

Thor and the Fantastic Four are also up to things but I don't know what.

However, I would assume the thunder god's still facing the Grey Gargoyle and his piratical space crew of animal men.

Future Tense and Valour #26, Conan the Barbarian

In a majestic moment of triumph for this blog, I know even less about the contents of this week's Valour and Future Tense than I do the other Marvel UK books.

But, from that cover, I'm assuming we're getting the tale where Conan finds himself battling a city of vertically-challenged people who worship a vertically liberated bear.

Can Conan possibly stop small people and huge bears?

Of course he can.

Apparently, we also get elves and Star Trek this issue but I could not claim to be able to shed any light upon them.

Is ROM in this one? I'm assuming he is.

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

I’m just happy that Cap is on the cover of his own mag for once.

b.t.

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about the blurb on that Cap cover, Steve - "4 New Wave strips from Marvel!"

Does this mean Iron Man was up against Public Image Ltd or Pere Ubu? Or maybe Dazzler was crossing over from disco, and teaming up with the Nipple Erectors?
Did the Defenders wise up, and move on from Blue Oyster Cult to Cabaret Voltaire or Human League lyrics?

Or maybe I've misunderstood, and underneath the mask Batroc ze leapair was really Jean-Luc Godard?

-sean

Anonymous said...

'Spider-man & Hulk Weekly' # 425 & 'Captain America Weekly' # 10

Common themes? 1.) Oriental stereotype stories 2.) Power/energy parasites 3.) Powder kegs

4.) Floating restaurants/floating island compounds

1.) Oriental stereotype stories - Last week, 3/4 of Spider-man & Hulk Weekly's stories had an oriental theme. Well, at the end of this week's Hulk story, incredibly, the teaser says that next week: "The Hulk surfaces in Japan for a tale called...Sunset of a Samurai!" Come on, guys - I know we were all obsessed with Japan - what with Shogun - but this is getting beyond a joke!

2.) In Hulk, Professor Phobos turns out to be a 'power parasite',draining the mutant abilities of his students, to create his own mental powers. Likewise, in 'Captain America Weekly', the Omegatron is absorbing the energy generated by the Anything Man's fights with the Defenders.

3.) Powder kegs - In Captain America, Mr.Hyde describes the hijacked oil tanker as a floating powder keg. Similarly, Dragon Lord throws a small, hand-held powder keg, at the Godzilla-type monster.

4.) Floating restaurants/floating island compounds - Japanese restaurant in Spidey - In Iron Man, Justin Hammer's floating compound.


The covers. With covers, Marvel UK's nasty habit of changing the colours is once again apparent. Also, as Steve has previously noted, Marvel UK is obsessed with yellow. Compare Marvel UK's yellow Samurai slashing at Spidey to the original cover:

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Peter_Parker,_The_Spectacular_Spider-Man_Vol_1_54

It's a good job Green Lantern's never on a Marvel UK cover - he's allergic to yellow!


'Spider-man & Hulk Weekly' # 425


The Amazing Spider-man

The Maggia has kidnapped the Smuggler, for squealing to the Feds, and has him stowed aboard a floating Japanese restaurant, which is acting as a respectable front for the Maggia. The Japanese boss's goons are all dressed up in post-medieval samurai armour, despite it being the twentieth century. Spidey duffs up one of the goons, and disguises himself in samurai armour.

Unfortunately, the Japanese boss then asks Spidey to get some weights to send the Smuggler to Davy Jones' locker, whereupon he realizes web-head's a fake samurai! This leads to some stereotype-based gags. The Japanese boss tells Spidey he's caused them to lose face in front of the Maggia, then slashes Spider-man's samurai mask off, whereupon Spidey quips back, "How do you think I feel?" Also, Spidey's embarrassed, having gagged a samurai with webbing, when the guy was mute, anyway (a bit like Oddjob?)

Anyway, Spidey & the Smuggler beat up the baddies, then jump off the floating restaurant, but Josten gets hit by a bullet. Lieutenant Snider arrives, just in the nick of time, but the baddies deny everything, and the diners corroborate their story. Luckily, Spidey finds some drugs in the diners' doggie bags! The story has references to bansai trees & Kabuki plays, just to make sure you know it's Japan themed. Oh - and the samurai warriors.

The teaser for next week advertises Nitro - but we never got Nitro the following week. Would he have upset poor Mary Whitehouse?

Anonymous said...


The Hulk

Last week this was a mediocre story. This week it upgrades to a good story - verging on the very good, in fact.

The Soviet Super soldiers are betrayed by Professor Phobos, their Obi-Wan like mentor. What's more, Vanguard & Darkstar have a Luke & Leia moment, learning they are brother & sister, and Sergei, the Presence, is their father. Does this make Ursa Major Chewbacca, and Crimson Dynamo C3PO?

Those gifts Phobos gave Vanguard & Darkstar, in the flashback last week, were the means whereby he drained his proteges' mutant powers, to create his own mental abilities. But why did Phobos name himself after one of the moons of Mars (this is never explained)? Everything Phobos told the Soviet Super Soldiers was a lie. He - not Sergei - is the one who spread radiation in the Forbidden Zone, to create more mutants, thus increasing his own powers. Moreover, Sergei & the Red Guardian are the goodies who were trying to prevent this! Anyway, by the story's end, good triumphs over evil, and Sergei & the Red Guardian become beings of pure energy - or something!


Spider-man & the Daughters of the Dragon

In certain stories, there's one line that sticks in your mind - even years later. In this tale, it's when the Steel Serpent starts laughing, and sneers at Misty & Coll: "With an ally like Spider-man, you have little need of enemies!"

The two ladies surprised Steel Serpent with a double whammy. Misty set Davos up, using her bionic arm to slam him into a wall, whereupon Colleen steps out & swings her katana (safely inside its scabbard) at him. Spidey saw this, and mistakenly thought Ms.Wing was going to murder Steel Serpent, and so gummed up Colleen's katana, with webbing!

At the page count's end, Spidey's cornered against some playground netting - but luckily Iron Fist arrives, just in the nick of time, to save the day. Last week's female doctor must have been a miracle worker!


Showcase: The Drqgon Lord

Last week, Dragon Lord threw a keg of gunpowder at the Godzilla monster. He never returned from his mission - but nor did the monster, which sank beneath the waves. Dragon Lord's son is heartbroken, and vows he will continue his father's mission. And so does his son - and his son, etc. Does this mean that this entire bit is just an origin story - and that Dragon Lord is actually going to be a twentieth century character the reader will meet next week? This Steve Ditko venture has not started well!

Next week - the Return of the Wani, and the Emergence of Dragon Lord!



Anonymous said...

'Captain America weekly' # 10


On the inside cover, under the letter's page, it says: "Don't miss next week's issue!" and an arrow points to a picture of this week's cover! Sloppy, guys - real sloppy!

Captain America

In this story, Batroc's playing a dangerous double game. He demands the authorities send his old frenemy, Cap, as a hostage whilst the ransom is delivered. Batroc also prevents Hyde from beating Cap to death. Nevertheless, by the page count's end, Cap's cast in the role of the oil tanker's figurehead, as Mr.Hyde sends it headlong into New York City!

Like Machinesmith, to Batroc, Cap's the only man up to the job - Daredevil, Iron Fist & Spidey would be most offended, if they knew!

Batroc's image gets a facelift in this story, with him described as a 'mercenary' - a bit like Marc Spector. I thought Batroc was originally an assassin - has Cap conveniently forgotten all the people the leaper's bumped off?


Iron Man

Tony Stark tries to escape Justin Hammer's compound, but fails, as it's floating in the sea, off the coast of Monaco, somewhere.

Meanwhile, the reader is introduced to Bethany Cabe's Colleen Wing-like partner, Ling McPherson. We also learn Bethany had an old flame, named Alex, before she ever met Tony Stark.

Like Kraven the Hunter, Justin Hammer really does his homework on his opponents. Tony Stark asks his guard for some hooch, and the guard refuses, replying: "The boss's info network says you been hittin' the sauce to hard lately!"

A few weeks ago, Melter, Blizzard & Whiplash, rather than attacking Iron Man individually, successfully co-ordinated their attack, working as a team (unlike the New X-Men, in their first battle against Magneto!)

This week, in contrast, rather than "Many hands make light work", it's "Too many cooks spoil the broth" ! About 13 of Justin Hammer's super villains are about to attack Iron Man, simultaneously, hindering each other's efforts. The Constrictor should have had more sense than to associate himself with that bunch! Besides, there's some crossover, between his and Whiplash's powers.


Dazzler

By coincidence, Dazzler's concert is at the United Nations Building, at the same time that Dr.Doom's family jewels (pardon the expression) are about to be stolen.

This story introduces a new character in Dazzler's life - Lance Steele, a vain, obnoxious back stage manager, who nevertheless quotes poetry & can handle himself in a fight - or thinks he can. Lance Steele's a bit like Ms.Marvel's Frank Gianelli character. As a kid, this kind of soap opera stuff completely put me off! More fights please.

The story references Elvis Costello - something Roger Stern did in Captain America, a few weeks ago. Was Costello big, in the bullpen?

The Latverian ambassador employs a hood named Arturo Frazen, & his goons, to steal Doom's family jewels. However, when the goons enter the United Nations chamber, the Latverian collection is already gone!

In the final, full page splash, Dr.Doom makes his dramatic entrance, scaring everybody half to death!


Anonymous said...

The Defenders

The Anything Man (Jeff Colt) wants to fight the Hulk, but the Defenders refuse. Dr.Strange makes the Hulk hold back, whilst Jeff Colt attacks the weaker Defenders, defeating them. Finally, the Hulk refuses to stand back, so Dr.Strange transforms him back to Bruce Banner - yet Jeff Colt starts pummeling Banner, anyway.

It's the Gary Mitchell thing again. Colt's become so powerful that humanity isn't relatable to him, anymore.

Nighthawk leads Jeff Colt - who can now fly - off to a deserted island, and turns the other cheeks, whilst Colt beats seven bells out of him. Without any resistance, Jeff Colt's power fades away - and then Nighthawk flies off, leaving Colt stranded on the island.

Later, Jeff asks Dr.Strange to remove his power to become the Anything Man - which he does. The energy from Jeff's fights had been feeding the Omegatron - which could have caused the end of the world - for some reason. The end.

Phillip

Anonymous said...

Damn typos - should be "letters' page" ! Or, maybe no apostrophe at all?

Phillip

Steve W. said...

Thanks for the latest majestic summary, Phillip.

But, Elvis Costello? Is that what the blurb was referencing when it boasted of New Wave strips? Sean, it seems we may have one-quarter of an answer.

Bt, and not only does Cap manage to make the cover, he does it with style. I love that image of Hyde looming over him.

Anonymous said...

I think Spidey was into Elvis Costello around this point too, Phillip - I seem to recall someone in the comments recently (dangermash probably) mentioning a comic where he sang Oliver's Army while webslinging around town.

The references tend to confirm my opinion that behind the hype Costello was a fairly standard singer-songwriter, and something of an older person's idea of what was new and exciting as the 70s turned into the 80s.
But then I am the sort of cultural snob who doesn't rate Bucks Fizz either...

-sean

Anonymous said...

Sean - It's not always the music, but the memories you associate with the music!

Phillip

dangermash aka The Artistic Actuary said...

Wasn't me as far as I remember, Sean, but a quick bit of googling reveals him to be singing Oliver's Army to the Purple Man in Marvel Team-Up Annual #4. I do remember PP playing an Ella Fitzgeperald album, though, sometime in the Conway/Andru Bronze Agey era.

Anonymous said...

I have a Ross Andru image in my head of MJ holding an Aretha Franklin album while going through Peter’s record collection. And a year or two before that, he and Gwen just had time to listen to the JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR album before catching a plane to the Savage Land.

b.t.

Colin Jones said...

The corner boxes with faces in them which were dropped from the weeklies at the start of the Marvel Revolution have now quietly crept back with the exception of Future Tense. So why is Future Tense holding out?

Phillip, it's interesting that you only cared about the fights in comics because a few years ago I was reading SFX magazine in which somebody said that the fights were the most boring parts of the comics. I hadn't really considered it up until then but I tended to agree - I rather liked the soap opera stuff.

Anonymous said...

Phil, I always thought Batroc WAS a mercenary, albeit with a personal code of honor.
I'm not sure what that code of honor entails, exactly. "No women no kids"? I dunno.
What I don't get is why anybody would team up with Mr. Hyde for ANY reason. Cobra and the Scorpion sure regretted it.
It would be like signing up to be Donald Trump's running mate.
What sane man wants to sign up for that boat ride?!

M.P.

Killdumpster said...

Hello, oh my brothers.

In my younger days I used the fact that Thursday was named after Thor to indulge in drugs & drink. Like I really needed an excuse.

In the mid-70's I had books where Cap & Falcon fought Mr. Hyde while teamed up the Scorpion. They seemed to hold their own pretty well back then. Guess Hyde must've got an upgrade when the story featured in this post was presented. Hyde's strength always seemed to fluctuate between writers. He's still one of my silver-age faves. I remember when they did the grey Hulk/Mr.Fixit (80's, 90's?) Hulk still trounced Hyde, even with reduced strength.

While those. grey Hulk stories where fun to read, grey Hulk's power was all over the place also. He scrapped with Werewolf By Night, and an amped Thing, then later destroyed a huge asteriod. Heck, I think that run may have been by the same writer.

Hope all you folks are well & healthy.

Anonymous said...

K.D., hey pal!
Always nice to hear from you.
The way I understand it, is Hyde's strength varied by how much of that serum he had.
At optimum levels, he could be a minor pain in the ass or annoyance to the likes of Thor or the Hulk. They'd still knock him out, but it might take a few minutes.
If he was running low on the juice, Captain America could take him out with one punch, as you saw in that Captain America comic.
Which was a great comic, BTW!
He got downgraded, is what happened to him. Ended up fighting Daredevil. Sorta like the Stilt-Man in reverse.
The last time I saw him was in a Punisher comic, and Frank Castle used some kinda death metal music to blow out his eardrums.
I might havta check out that Grey Hulk stuff, K.D.
Cheers!

M.P,.

Killdumpster said...

M.P., the grey Hulk/Mr.Fixit storyline is definitely a big twist in Hulk history. Think McFarlane did the art early, but it went downhill later.

While a minor proponent for Big Orange, I can see the similarities you've brought up between him & Hyde. Hope we here in the States won't wax nostalgic for an arrogant bully, and have to pay $4 to $5+ a gallon for gas.

My little Green Hell is going to be on the road soon. I'd like to throw some "Mr. Hyde" on the accelerator. :)

Steve W. said...

Dangermash and Bt, I'm pretty sure the Conway/Andru era contains a scene where Peter and MJ are walking down a street, eating ice cream cornets, while MJ mocks Peter's love of Ella Fitzgerald.

Colin, I think it's certainly true that the rise of Marvel in the 1960s was down to the stuff inbetween fights being more interesting than the stuff going on between fights in the DC comics.

MP, pretty much every Batroc story I ever read had him suddenly switching sides when he was hit by the realisation that his employers were the bad guys. The number of times it happened didn't suggest he was very bright.

KD and MP, yes, Mr Hyde's strength seemed very undefined. I think, in his first couple of Thor appearances, we were told exactly how many men he was as strong as but even that number varied.

Anonymous said...

Colin - I wrote "that kind of soap opera stuff" - i.e. stuff like Lance Steele & Frank Gianelli. The soap opera stuff in Colan Daredevil, for example - that was better. You obviously need to give the characters lives, and make them appear real - but it's a question of how you do it .Good TV dramas make characters relatable, without soap opera exaggeration/ caricatures and silliness. In the X-Men, for example, eventually you got too much Kitty Pryde. Less is more!

As regards music, early Roger Stern Spidey frequently had references to songs. I'll have to fish them out sometime.

Phillip

Anonymous said...

M.P. - As regards whether or not Batroc was an assassin before he was a mercenary, I think I was remembering the title of the Iron Fist story in which Joy Meacham hires Batroc to kill Iron Fist. The title is: "Batroc, and Other Assassins!" (Marvel Premiere # 20 featuring Iron Fist, or Marvel Essentials.) I think this story's title is for dramatic effect, and maybe I was taking it too literally. Batroc was acting as an assassin in this instance - but whether he'd done it before, I don't know (?)

Phillip

Redartz said...

To those who prefer the 'soap opera ' elements of comics to the battles, count me among you. Not that I don't enjoy seeing a vigorous round of superheroic conflict; perhaps the personal segments hit the heart (and the gut) a bit harder.

Steve- "ice cream cornets"? Love the term, I've never heard it before. Incidentally, that scene of Pete and MJ consuming their more geometrically named ice cream cones was from Amazing Spider-Man 136, iirc. A favorite issue, when Harry Osborn took on the Green Goblin's mantle...

Anonymous said...

Redartz - in the UK, there used to be a type of ice cream, whereby the top of the wafer cone was more rectangular/cuboid (?) This shape was to fit a rectangular/cuboid block of ice cream which was inserted in the wafer cone. These are slightly different from the traditional cones. In the US, do you know about 99s? These are large ice cream cones, with a Cadbury's flake inserted in the ice cream!

Phillip

Anonymous said...

Anyone remember Red Devils, Orange Dragons and Haunted Houses (iced lollies)? I've still got an Orange Dragon badge somewhere!

Phillip

Colin Jones said...

Phil, I doubt that Redartz knows what a "Cadbury's Flake" is, let alone a "99" :D

Colin Jones said...

By the way, Phil, "The House On The Borderland" by William Hope Hodgson is currently being broadcast on BBC Radio 4-Extra - the final part is tonight at 6pm.

Colin Jones said...

And does anyone remember the "Space: 1999" ice lolly? Takes me back to the hot summer and drought of 1976.

Anonymous said...

Colin - Thanks for the tip. What I remember from the long hot summer of '76 was white dog muck in my school's playground. Was it caused by the heat, or something dogs were eating?

Phillip

Charlie Horse 47 said...

Charlie also does not know about UK ice cream culture, LOL! I do know about Pimms though, but only from reading!

Charlie Horse 47 said...

MP - after the dramatic down sizing I went through the last 8 months, and paring down the comic books being part of that, I made a mental note getting rid of the 1980s - 90s Hulks to go back and reread that stuff by Peter David.

It was really enjoyable. I must admit the issue where Rick is hosting his bachelor's party, watching pornos, only to find his fiancé is in one of them, is a classic case of the "soap opera" being way more enjoyable than the "slug fest." IIRC talking intelligent Hulk, Doc Samson were at the party too.

I am 99% sure you can get this run, in color, through your library system.

Anonymous said...

The ‘Soap Opera Stuff is better than the Fighting Stuff’ thing isn’t a Universal Law. In just about any Lee / Kirby title (FF or THOR or CAPTAIN AMERICA) I think it’s the action (and the wild sci-fi concepts) is where the books sing. The soap opera elements are fairly basic — Ben is wallowing in self-pity, Reed isn’t giving Sue enough attention, Crystal is mad at Johnny because he’s so immature, etc.

Also, the ‘Old School’ sexism, although very much ‘Of It’s Time’, makes for awkward reading these days. How many times did the FF go into battle with Reed locking Sue in the room next door for her own safety? And Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter, holy crap — it’s all , ‘Honey, you must quit your job at SHIELD! Fighting super-science-y crypto-fascist terrorist organizations isn’t women’s work!’

The soap opera in Lee and Colan’s DAREDEVIL is particularly painful. Matt’s constantly thought-ballooning, ‘Oh Karen my darling, if only I had the courage to tell you how much I love you —but I could never burden you by asking you to love a blind man!’ They dragged that crap out for YEARS. THOR isn’t much better — Jane knows Donald is into her, but just won’t come out and say it. Once Jane is gone and Swordmaiden Sif takes her place, it feels like Thor has finally met his equal, but soon even she gets all simpery with worry every time her Thunder God strides into battle.

I think AMAZING SPIDER-MAN had the best soap opera stuff. I can sit down with a stack of ESSENTIAL SPIDER-MANS and happily spend a couple of hours reading the romance / relationship storylines and just skimming through the fights with Doc Ock, Mysterio, The Scorpion, etc.

b.t.

Anonymous said...

The key to a better superhero-type comic is the blend of different elements imo. Which is obviously hard to do well, or there'd be more good 'uns.

Red, Charlie, as well as ice cream cornets, the Brits have chocolate trumpets, marshmallow saxophones, and all that jazz. Mmmm, nice. Smokin'...

-sean

Charlie Horse 47 said...

Soap Opera vs. Smash.

As a kid, first priority was a Smash cover. If that box was checked, then I'd look inside for good Smash.

If it was all Soap inside, I'd put it back.

I think in part, b/c I would sketch the covers or insides, I wanted a good Smash b/c it made for more fun mimicking it.

Hmmm... had the artist drawn the contents of the porno film Rick Jones's wife was in, would that fall under Soap or Smash? Assume there was no intelligible dialogue. (Just asking for a friend, lol.)

Charlie Horse 47 said...

Sean, Steve, et al...

Charlie, b.t., MP, KD, et al... do not know UK Ice Cream.

I think you guys need to just set up a cultural exchange for us to come over and eat your ice cream, drink your Pimms, read your comics, eat fish n chips, eat beans on toast... you know... the full monty of UK experiences!

And you could show us the sights from Spidey 50 years ago this month b/c IIRC he's swinging his way across London!

Charlie Horse 47 said...

Gents - I don't really recall anymore but was there DD-BLack Widow soap when she featured in DD until around issue 100?

I seem to think there was? What was the reason they didn't link up? I mean, talk about an ideal comic book match up!

Black Canary and Green Arrow was a good match up too. I was just re-reading Brave and Bold 100, where Bats gets shot and the bullet is lodged near the heart. (The one I bought off the spinner 50 years ago!) She seems one part flaky, one part adventuress as does Oliver Arrow. A perfect match.

Steve W. said...

Phillip, I'm fairly sure that, in the old days, manufacturers used to bulk-out dog food with chalk, which turned the droppings white. Once the practice was banned, everything returned to its true colour.

I'm afraid I have no memory of Red Devil, Orange Dragon and Haunted House lollies. I do remember Dracula ones, though.

Colin, I think I vaguely recall Space: 1999 lollies. Wasn't there a Thunderbirds one, as well?

Red, that's the issue. I was torn between it being that one or the Longest Hundred Yards one.

Bt, I agree that the Daredevil love triangle was Stan's weakest attempt at soap opera. Then again, the whole Mike Murdock thing did add a whole, weird, new dimension to it.

Sean, personally I can't get enough haddock trombone.

Steve W. said...

Charlie, I vaguely remember there being a short-lived Daredevil/Black Widow/Danny French love triangle and also a Daredevil/Black Widow/Hawkeye one. I think there were also disagreements between DD and the Widow over his chauvinism towards her.

Anonymous said...

There was a short-lived Daredevil/Black Widow/Moondragon triangle Steve... and then Shanna the She-Devil turned up! DD was quite the ladies man.

On the chalk thing... well, its hardly surprising a Yorkshireman would know all the tricks of the dog trade!

-sean

dangermash aka The Artistic Actuary said...

Steve and Red are both right on that it's ASM #136 with ice creams where MJ gives Pete stick about Ella Fitzgerald.

And I miss those old days of Walls and Lyons Maid being big lolly rivals, each offering 10-15 different lollies. The days when the top of the range item was a choc ice. But then came the cornetto age. Lyons Maid tried to fight back with king cones but it was too late and they disappeared. All those ranges of lollies disappeared too, presumably because everyone wanted cornettoes. Now we're in the magnum age and cornettoes are no longer a luxury item. And the magnum age will last until someone works out how to put slices of vienetta on sticks.

Charlie Horse 47 said...

UK Gents -

The term Lollie means...?

I know when I read the Broons and Oor Wullie I have the impression they are referring to what we call lollipops or suckers (hard candy on a small stick) , not ice creams.

And as long as I am asking, often in the Broons or Oor Wullie they seem to be sucking on something that I assume is a sucker but with a loose string going into the mouth, not the stiff small, round paper stick. Are those succkers too or something different? Again, it's just the loose, flimsy string going into the mouth.

Help?

Colin Jones said...

Steve, I don't recall Thunderbirds ice lollies but I definitely remember the Dracula ones. You can find TV ads for the Space: 1999 lollies on YouTube.

So the infamous white dog poo in the '70s was caused by adding chalk to dog food?? Now that we've freed ourselves from the shackles of the evil EU perhaps UK manufacturers can return to those good old days of cutting corners, hurrah!

Colin Jones said...

Charlie, "lolly" means lollipop and an "iced lolly" means a lollipop made of ice-cream or some kind of frozen fruit-flavoured concoction.

But the "sucker" with a loose string going into the mouth...?

Anonymous said...

Our old family dog never pooped white, but boy did he poop. When it was really cold outside he would crap right outside the front door and scramble to get back inside. (When it was warmer he went further from the house, which I put down as a gesture of decorum)
When he did the deed right out front guess who got sent out to clean THAT up.
At least they were hard and frozen.
It's funny how this conversation has veered between dog shit and ice cream.

Charles, I might check that out. One can get graphic novels through the inter-library system too! Just got done reading an Elric graphic novel. Free of charge.
Charlie, I bet you proverbial dollars to proverbial donuts your local library's got it.
Think, man! Almost anything you want!
I'm currently re-reading Laird Barron's incredible collection of short stories, "The Beautiful Thing That Awaits Us All". If any of you fellers are fans of great horror fiction, check it out.
For a true horror fan, it's fun on a bun.

b.t., I hated that soap-opera stuff.

M.P.

Anonymous said...

What, you didn't cry about Gwen Stacy, M.P.? Or care what happened with Scott and Jean?
How heartless can you be?

-sean

Anonymous said...

Apparently I am a sociopath, Sean.

M.P.

Killdumpster said...

All this conversation about ice cream reminded me of a "Mexican" restaurant chain here in the States that featured deep-fried ice cream. I never had it. Did any of you folks?

We've had some pretty crappy dog food here as well. My cheapskate father would buy giant sacks, 30 pounds or so, of this dry garbage called "Dad's". Swear it was less than $2 a bag.

My dog wouldn't touch it, and he wasn't a picky eater.

At that time I worked at a chicken farm after school and weekends. Since they were tight on pay ($2 per hour) they gave us 2 flats of eggs each week. That's 5 dozen eggs.

My family and I loved eggs. My littlest sister was a baking fiend, and made egg custard & and put extra in her cakes to make them super-moist. Man, that was so fine for pot-smoking munchies. We still had tons of eggs leftover, though.

After I saw my beagle wasn't eating that crap dried food, I started busting 4-6 eggs on it. He'd wolf it down like a champ.

My dad screamed at me, "Don't feed the dog those!!!". I replied " We have so much extra, they're virtually free, you buy shit, he's my dog, and I BRING IN THESE EGGS!". That was the first and only time I spouted out at my father.

My beagle was a hunting dog, and pretty active, so apparently after a few years of that diet he didn't die of cholesterol at age 17. Plus he had a really thick coat.

Anonymous said...

Everybody who's family had a dog has a few good dog stories, I guess!
My favorite was when my aunts came over to visit for coffee and cake and my dog came out and sat in the middle of the living room and sprouted a huge erection.
My mom hollered at me, "Matt! Take Tipper outside!"
I replied, "I don't really wanna get anywhere near him right now...he looks like he means business" but she hollered some more so I hadda take him outside, so he could run it off.

M.P.

Steve W. said...

Charlie, I don't have a clue what the string things were, unless they were some sort of Sherbet Fountain which involves a length of liquorice covered in sherbet.

KD, I've never encountered deep-fried ice cream. I suppose the closest I'm familiar with is Baked Alaska.

Killdumpster said...

Hah! M.P.!
Here's one. My grandparents had a standard poodle named Tippy. While we were eating Thanksgiving dinner, my 3 year old sister shouted, "Looky! Tippy has an eraser!!!"

The whole table burst out laughing. My poor little sister was in a state of confusion as to why we thought that was funny as hell.

Killdumpster said...

Steve, though it was so-called Mexican restaurants that deep-fried ice cream, I'm led to believe it was an American thing from the southern states.

They deep-fry everything. Oreos, pickles, bananas, cheesecake, everything and anything. No wonder they have a higher rate of heart attacks than the rest of our nation.

Hell, there's a commercial bakery here in the States called Krispy Kreme where down south they use their glazed donuts as hamburger buns! They may as well fill their arteries with cement!!

Anonymous said...

Those cholesterolly challenged southerners or Mexicans must be of Scottish descent Kd. Scots cuisine might be best known for the deep-fried Mars bar, but north of the border you can't put anything down without someone deep frying it.

-sean

Colin Jones said...

Sean, my father was Scottish and he definitely didn't eat deep-fried confectionery!!

Redartz said...

KD- I think that restaurant was "Chi-Chi's". No longer in business, it was my wife's favorite. We'd indulge in the fried ice cream whenever we dined there. It was kind of like a scoop of vanilla ice cream surrounded by cinnamon taco chips and drizzled with honey. Yes, a definite sugar high.

Regarding the string lollipop question: does anyone else recall the "safety suckers" that small kids used to get? There was no stick, just a loop of string attached to the candy. Don't know what made that any safer, though.

My best dog story was one Christmas, when the dog got irritated with the cat. Chased the cat who proceeded to jump into the Christmas tree. Literally knocked it over, the dog went wild, chased the cat who dragged the tree down the hallway, littering ornaments everywhere. A mess, but hilarious...

Charlie Horse 47 said...

Red! That was what I was just going to write about the "safe suckers" that had a string loop and not a stick so that if you tripped and fell you didn't jam the thinking down your throat or take out your eye!

I actually, back in the day, assumed that the reason the Brits had string suckers was because they played Conkers and would do that with their lollies as well, LOL!!!



Charlie Horse 47 said...

Cooking in the south USA... not to overly generalize because times have changed... but their diet was extremely unhealthy. Back in the 30s or 40s the Federal Government had to send teachers into the south to show them how to cook. I think everything was simply deep fried. Literally,


In the mid 80s I went with a roommate to visit his dolly up near Dalton Georgia *We were at flight school in Ft Rucker Alabama). Sunday the big dinner was an experience. The grand pappy was telling me how we were going to have his favorite dish: big, huge lima beans.

I was cool with all the veggies (Charlie's family always had a garden as does Charlie to this day). But one bite in, I could NOT swallow them.

My throat just kept passing over the lima beans. They had been so deeply greased it reminded me of when I had to down a bottle of castor oil for my barium enema in the Army. I mean, you just can't swallow that stuff... it goes down your throat at its own pace!!!



Killdumpster said...

Redartz-
Yes! Chi-Chi's! My pals & I used to drink there when they had free nachos.

Think they had a hepatitis issue with green onions that put them out of business.

Killdumpster said...

Charlie, I used to have a huge garden in my early teens. It was a lot of work, having to reformat soil that was mostly sandstone, and dealing with critters (rabbits, deer, bears, Japanese beatles, birds, etc), but still very rewarding. Nothing like fresh picked homegrown vegetables.

Always managed to score a couple of blue ribbons each year at our local farm show. Everyone involved in 4-H in our region entered. Hell, I wonder if 4-H still exists. I sure miss a garden.

Kicked around the idea about having the idea of a "boxed" garden way back in the rear parking lot of my hotel. The owner gave me approval, but I figured drunken bastardd would raid it constantly.

Anonymous said...

Red, that "fried ice cream" you're talking about sounds like it might kill me on the spot, or at least induce a coma.

Steve, our ever-patient host (or master of ceremonies), are you ever alarmed by the wild and uncontrollable topic drift on your blog? It's like a juggernaut! And I am not free of blame.
As long as you're presiding over this chaos, Steve, you oughtta get yourself an on-line identity like those old comic book horror hosts.
You know what I mean...like the Crypt-Keeper, the Grave Digger, Dr. Graves or Baron Weirwulf. (my favorite was Winnie the Witch)
Like maybe, a cartoon rendering of you holding a skull with a candle sticking out of it whilst standing in a tomb and a diabolical mission statement.

I'm only here to help, people.

M.P.

Steve W. said...

MP, I find the twists and turns of the comments section endlessly fascinating.

Anonymous said...

M.P. - Regarding hosts/masters of ceremonies, did you ever read Creepshow? An American relative of mine brought a copy over, in 1982.

Phillip

Anonymous said...

Ooh, Favorite Horror Host is a topic waiting to happen. Or just a thread-drift....

I’m partial to Uncle Creepy myself....

b.t.