Forty years ago today - July 1981.

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon. 

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It's Sunday, the 11th of July, 2021 and a nation holds its breath, as English football balances on the see-saw of History.

Which way will that see-saw tip and who will be sent soaring skywards and who will be sent plunging to the ground to lie there in a crumpled heap of bitter disillusion?

I've no idea.

But I do know what else is History.

And that's the Past.

And you know what lives in the Past?

The following comics do.

At the request of a concerned father, Cap goes in search of a youth who's run off with a biker gang but Doc Ock turns up, looking to steal Cap's shield, so he might discover the secret of its metal, and a fight breaks out.

One that, it has to be said, lasts a lot less time than Spider-Man's battles with the tentacular terror normally do.

Could it be? Could Captain America be a better fighter than Spidey?

In a nightmare of gargantuan proportions, the Sandman and Hydro-Man have amalgamated into a huge, brainless monster and, now, an impresario wants to charge people to see it.

The story then unfolds into a duff reenactment of King Kong.

We know it does because the script keeps, laboriously, pointing out that it has.

I'm willing to claim this is not the greatest Spider-Man story of all time.

Now that his wife's dead, the Kingpin's reasserted his control over New York's mobs and hired Bullseye.

But Daredevil's out to put a stop to all of that.

Or is he?

Thor must fly to the rescue when evil property owners take to destroying their own buildings, for the purposes of insurance fraud.

Which wouldn't be that big a deal, except they insist on doing it when the residents are still in the buildings.

I'm pretty sure a recent issue of Captain America featured the exact same premise, except, in that case, the buildings were being destroyed by a man with a flamethrower instead of a flying tank.

Having finally escaped Dr Doom's various traps, the X-Men set about putting a stop to his and Arcade's antics.

And you know what? They succeed.

Then, they all, basically, shake hands with each other and go their separate ways, bearing no hard feelings, with Doom and Storm still being a bit flirty with each other.

What is this madness you are inflicting upon us, Claremont?

I believe a rogue Skrull poses as Jarvis, in order to poison the Beast's girlfriend and blackmail the Avengers into getting some stone or other that does something or other. Judging by its name, it probably resurrects people.

I forget how this tale ends but I'm assuming the Skrull's foiled and the Beast's girlfriend makes a full recovery.

Two underground civilisations are at war with each other, and Conan finds himself leading one of the armies.

Needless to say, his army's triumphant and the battling barbarian causes the death of the rival sorcerers who are behind it all.

From what I can recall, some South American bad guys kidnap some of Tony Stark's scientists. So, Iron Man heads right down there to rescue them.

Only to discover the main scientist's on the side of the bad guys and doesn't want to be rescued!

Diablo's back, and out for revenge upon the first family of comics.

To do it, he sets four elementally-powered creations upon the quartet but, as always the do-gooders prove too clever for his cunning connivings.

The Absorbing Man's lost his memory, and the Hulk's turned back into Bruce Banner. Now, the two men are stuck on an island together.

But how long can it be before Crusher regains his memory and Bruce is, once more, the green goliath?

In other words, how long can it be before a punch-up breaks out?

Obviously, the answer's, "Not long."

Now, there's a familiar-looking cover.

Having been blown up in his recent fight with Machine Man, Jack O'Lantern wastes no time in getting back on the crime bandwagon and, for reasons that escape me, takes Aunt May's new boyfriend hostage.

But, of course, Spidey's soon to the rescue.

And it turns out Jack has little stomach for a fight.