Saturday, 19 February 2011

Fourteen ways to spot if your neighbours are Inhumans.

There goes the neighbourhood. Marvel Comics, Inhumans #2
Thanks to a well-known Australian soap opera, we all know that everybody needs good neighbours. But how do we know if our neighbours are members of a highly advanced secret race that’s been super-evolved by a bunch of aliens to be used as an army in a future war with another bunch of aliens? Well, here’s where we find out.

They can’t get through a sentence without mentioning someone called Black Bolt who they expect to do absolutely everything for them.

They speak English as a first language despite being from South East Asia.

They can’t make their minds up if their house is in the Andes or in the Himalayas.

They all have super-powers but half of those powers are of no use whatsoever, like being able to swim, or being invisible but with a shadow that means everyone can still tell you’re there.

They’ll accept any madman as their king if he sticks a crown on his head and says he is.

They keep accidentally creating a dome of impenetrable energy over their house that they then can’t escape.

They speak only in exposition.

One of them used to be evil but is now good, and no explanation has ever been given for this.

They keep calling themselves a family even though it’s not clear in which way any of them are related to any of the others.

They think they can get what they want just by stamping their feet.

They say they’ll love you forever, in a love greater than all loves - and then promptly marry someone else.

Their weddings get gate-crashed by Ultron.

Even though they’re from a completely landlocked kingdom, one of them’s been genetically modified to only be able to live in the sea.

Their comic always gets cancelled after twelve issues.


cerebus660 said...

I used to have neighbours who were SUBhumans, but I don't know if they qualified as INhumans...

Steve said...

I actually can't help feeling this is the worst post I've ever done on this site. I think I might give it some sort of award.

Anonymous said...

15. If you say "Hello" to the head one, and he replies, you'll find half the suburb destroyed and yourself blown a good couple of miles away.


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