Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon.
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Who hates Stevie Wonder?
Probably no one on the entire planet.
However, to be honest, in September 1984, I was starting to wish he'd never been born, as his latest single I Just Called to Say I Love You clung on to the UK Number One spot for week after week after week. In fact, it spent the entire month and more in pole position, giving some of us a distinct air of having outstayed its welcome.
Over on the British album chart, an almost equal level of dominance was achieved by Various Artists' Now That's What I Call Music 3 which seemed like it was going to rule the roost forever. But, then, at the very death of the month, it was finally dislodged, by David Bowie's newest offering, a thing called Tonight.
Much as I may enjoy the film, I can't say I've ever viewed it as fitting into the categories of sci-fi, fantasy or horror.
Elsewhere, this issue reviews new cinematic offering Iceman which I've never heard of, and interviews Laurene Landon, star of upcoming sword and sorcery flick Hundra which I've also never heard of.
Fortunately, I have heard of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Starburst interviews him about his latest gift to the world Conan the Destroyer.
We also receive a preview of The Philadelphia Experiment and are presented with a review of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
And he accompanies that cover with an interview about his stint on the show.
We also discover, within, Part 3 of the comic strip the world must call The Voyager.
In keeping with the Fourth Doctor theme of the issue, there's a look at the the life and times of the anti-matter antagonist Omega and a look back at Baker's first-ever story Robot.
But it's not all nostalgia, because we also encounter a look ahead to the return of the Cybermen in whatever story it is they return in. I'm assuming it's the splendidly violent one with Brian Glover and all that shooting in the gravel pits.
Then again, it's not far off being the last issue of it that anyone ever read, as the mag will survive for just one more month before folding.
In it, Captain Britain returns to Braddock Manor to do whatever it is he returns to Braddock Manor to do. I think the creation of a computerised butler may be one of the feats he achieves while he's there.
Next, Night-Raven finds himself in a tale called Pathology III.
Then we discover four-page Marvel Showcase yarn Unicorn on Winchester, as brought to us by Martin Lock and Dave Hartwood.
And we round off the issue with the X-Men and Micronauts still battling an evil version of Professor X who, for some reason, is roaming around dressed like a Roman gladiator.
No danger of the UK Savage Sword of Conan folding imminently. Anyone can tell it's got bags of life left in it yet. Just like its star.
Having sad that, I can't tell you anything about the contents of this one, although I am going to assume pirates are involved and Conan gets to fight them.
No doubt, he kills their captain and then takes over as their leader, as that's what usually happens when Conan encounters pirates.
He'll then lead them into terrible danger in some jungle somewhere and get most of them killed, as that's also what happens whenever he encounters pirates.
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15 comments:
Puffins, Penguins, Hydrox and Oreo cookies… come for the comics and stay for the subsequent musings.
STEVE - when were the Arctic Penguin-Human encounters… like 500 years ago or…?
BT- yes, Hydrox sounds like a industrial-chemical outcome!
RED - I really enjoyed grade skool book sales. I was 100% Charlie Brown paperbacks and picture books of racing cars like F1 and Indy.
It’s raining in Chicago. Time to break out the long boxes!!! Maybe some bronze age Luke Cage HERO FOR HIRE!
ChArlie!
The other week I picked up ‘Signed Sealed Delivered’ by Stevie Wonder for £1 from a charity shop. It completes my run of 70s Stevie Wondee albums. I listened to it yesterday whilst cleaning the kitchen and it reminded me yet again what a sheer JOY he was for so long. So much talent. Peerless.
But yeah, the Casio years were bleak. ‘I Just Called’ was surely the nadir.
Was ‘Tonight’ the Bowie LP with ‘Blue Jean’ on it?
I had that Starburst. Surely soon I’ll cancel that subscription? I had many many better things to spend my money on in 1984.
I guess that MWOM too but I don’t remember it.
Imagine being whoever Dr Who was played by then and seeing Tom Baker on the cover. You’d be gutted!
‘Wonder’, not ‘Wondee’. Thanks for nothing, autocorrect.
Charlie:
For your information “Hydrox” cookies first appeared in 1906 and the name is derived from Hydrogen and Oxygen, the two elements in plain old, good, clean, natural water. But I agree with you and Phillip — the name DOES sound like some kind of industrial chemical compound :D
Books I got through those once-a-year School book sales back in the day: THE SHADOW OF FU MANCHU, those awesome Airmont editions of DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN and David Gerrold’s BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES. Educational!
Redartz, did you say you got CONAN AND THE SWORD OF SKELOS thru a school book sale? If I’m not mistaken, that may be the only book in the officially licensed Conan paperback series where Conan rapes a woman. When the story was adapted in SAVAGE SWORD, Roy Thomas tried to clean up Andrew J. Offutt’s mess by implying that Conan and the lady were merely indulging in somewhat rough foreplay (and that she DID verbally give her “consent” at the last minute) but it was still wildly problematic. I guess the vetting process for books sold through that program must have been pretty loosely-goosey.
b.t.
Why do that Conan cover's pirates resemble figures out of Treasure Island, rather than a time before recorded history? Then again, Roy Thomas had medieval castles, so why not cutlass-wielding, ear-ringed 18th century pirates, with headwraps? At least sometimes the books used the term, 'Freebooter' (although that's got problems of its own! ) to distract the reader from the idea of 'pieces of eight', 'Raise the Jolly Roger, lads!', etc!
I've watched Dick Turpin, starring Richard (Man About the House) O'Sullivan, on Rewind TV. Back in 1979, I never realized it was kind of a dry run for Robin of Sherwood. The writer's Richard Carpenter, whilst baddie, Captain Spiker (c.f. Guy of Gisborne), is the county sheriff's (c.f. Sheriff of Nottingham) henchman. To start with, it's set in Hertfordshire & Essex. Lesley Dunlop played a tavern's kind-hearted serving wench!
Charlie - Peanuts books were a staple for me, too! USA ones had yellow covers, didn't they?
Phillip
b.t. - I got 'Conan and the Sword of Skelos' - but I don't recall that bit! Nevertheless, I'm now certain my English teacher didn't go through it with a blue pencil!
Phillip
Oh - I forgot to mention, Dick Turpin returned from soldiering, to find the county sheriff had confiscated his parents' farm. If not literally Robin Hood, a very Robin Hood 'vibe', without a doubt! Rewind TV's had a very promising start!
Phillip
Charlie, the last known true penguins were killed in 1844 when Jón Brandsson and Sigurður Ísleifsson strangled them while Ketill Ketilsson smashed their egg.
However, there was a possible sighting of five specimens in 1852, near Newfoundland.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_auk#Extinction
Matthew, Tonight had both Blue Jean and Loving the Alien on it.
Colin Baker was the Doctor at the time. Judging by that cover choice, one might almost think he wasn't as popular as he could have been.
Red, I remember our school also having a thing through which you could buy books. The strange thing is I remember filling in the form but have no memory of ever receiving any actual books. I don't even recall what books I ordered.
Phillip: I read SWORD OF SKELOS back in the day too — I’m older than you, so I bought my copy from an actual book store :) — and l have to say the rape scene didn’t really register as such with me at the time, either. I started seeing discussion of it in various online forums maybe 20 years ago, re-read that sequence and sure enough, it’s undeniably a non-consensual sexual encounter — in other words, rape.
As for why Hyborian Age pirates look exactly like the 17th Century kind — that was actually a deliberate part of REH’s game plan when he created Conan’s world. He loved writing historical adventure stories of all kinds — Pirate Stories, Crusader stories, Oriental adventures, Viking stories etc — but found that the research required was very time-consuming and ate into his bottom-line. So he designed the Hyborian Age as a pre-historical setting
where he could tell all those kinds of stories, but with “Proto-Egyptians”, “Proto-Cossacks”, “Proto-Romans” etc instead of the real things.
The “Intentional Anachronism Effect” works better in some stories than in others. There’s a scene in “The Black Stranger” where he shows up wearing a pirate outfit that sounds EXACTLY like something out of TREASURE ISLAND.
b.t.
b.t. - I know something about R.E.H - but that's interesting extra information. Thanks! Conan the Adventurer's the first Conan book I read (which didn't seem to have anachronisms - although I was young, so may not have noticed.) Subsequent Conan books made less of an impression. I've blamed Roy Thomas - not R.E.H. - for anachronistic laziness (so, I owe Roy a mental apology, then!)
Phillip
Charlie, b.t. and Steve- indeed, those school book sales were a high point of school life (hope you don't mind the topical divergence carrying over from your last post, Steve). Phillip, I too often got "Peanuts" books; but they had various color covers. One I specifically recall was "Peanuts Cookbook", with a red cover. Odd that I ordered it, as I wasn't much help in the kitchen.
One book that always grabbed my interest was anything about dinosaurs. And baseball. Aaaaand, Encyclopedia Brown.
To address at least a bit of your original discussion, Steve- "I Just Called to Say I Love You" held a lot of airplay here too. I did buy the 45, but also got a bit fatigued by hearing it so frequently. That may have been one of the last 45s I did buy, actually...
Redartz - A distant American relative gave my brother & myself (aged 6 or 7?) our first Peanuts books. Mine was, "It's Your Turn, Snoopy" - and I remember that as having a yellow cover. I think my brother's had a yellow cover, too - but I may be wrong ( he 'phoned today, so I could have asked!) Subsequent UK purchased Peanuts books, had covers of various colours. From what you say, maybe the same editions as in the US. "You Cannot Be Serious, Charlie Brown" I remember as having a brown cover ( for the others, it's all a blur! ) Apologies for too much trivial detail!
Phillip
Phillip- to continue your penchant for detail (no apologies needed- the more trivial detail, the better)- you are probably right about the UK/US editions. Of the 6 vintage Peanuts books I still have: one is brown, one yellow, one green; four are white with a cover featuring a cartoon panel from within (how's that for mind numbing minutae). The three color covers have printing dates from the late 60's. The cartoon covers are all from the 70's. One final tidbit of trivia (if anyone is still awake)- the yellow book, "Peanuts Every Sunday", is appropriately a collection of Sunday strips, and is horizontal in format, unlike all the others.
Phillip :
One last thing about the Intentional Anachronisms in the Conan stories — they’re much less obtrusive in prose. When I first read REH’s “The Black Stranger” I didn’t pay much attention to what Conan was actually wearing in that one scene I mentioned, but when I got the illustrated Del Rey edition about ten years ago, I saw that the artist Gregory Manchess had chosen to illustrate that very scene and Conan looked like one of Howard Pyle’s pirates — with the long coat, the traditional Pirate Hat and his hair pulled back into a ponytail — it was pretty jarring! In the comics, the artists usually default to fairly generic “One Size Fits All” costumes and architecture, as if the entire Hyborian Continent is one big Arabia.
b.t.
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