Tuesday 23 January 2024

Speak Your Brain! Part 70. Design your super-hero costume!

Thanks to Charlie Horse 47 and Killdumpster for their sponsorship of this post, via the magic of Patreon
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The Steve Does Comics Megaphone
Image by Tumisu
from Pixabay
As I type these words, many of us have been battered by storms with names like Isha and Jocelyn but is that what the blogosphere wishes to discuss?

That, I cannot say. As, for once, I have no say in the site's subject matter.

And that claim can only signal one thing.

That it's time to revive the feature in which you The Reader get to decide just what should and shouldn't be the day's topic for debate.

So broad is the spectrum of this site that that topic could be almost anything. From the grandiose to the trivial. The ludicrous to the sublime. Therefore, whatever it is you wish the Steve Does Comics True Believers to pontificate upon, post it in the comments section below and we shall discover just what the massed herd has to say about it.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Imagine you are a superhero! Design your uniform!
Cap / No cape?
Gloves / No Gloves?
Mask / No Mask
Etc.

Extra credit:
Super powers or just highly trained like Tarzan, Hawkeye, Green Arrow…

Cheers! CH-47

dangermash said...

I'd go with what's comfortable. Helly Hansen type longjohns and top. The sort of things you'd wer under your clothes as an extra layer. They normally claim to hold in the sweat so that your outer clothes don’t end up smelly. I'm sure you know the bear I mean.

The mask is the interesting thing though. You want to obscure your secret identity while not impeding your vision or feeling heavy. And a Robin-style mask won't fool anybody. My solution is the beardhead (https://beardhead.com/) which I find makes you hard to recognise while also not impeding vision or feeling clunky. Might get a bit hit in the summer, mind.

I'd look odd in underwear and a beardhead. Like some crazy hermit in the Deep South standing outside his door in the middle of the night with a rifle shouting at raccoons.

My brains would be my superpower, I’m particular my ability to spot the quickest way to solve a problem or to get something done. This ability wouldn't be reflected in my superhero name, though. With that costume, people would just call me R*****k Man. If that's a word that it's OK to use these days.

Anonymous said...

My superhero's name: Yorkshire Man

Cap/no cape?

I'd take a cap - a flat one, along with a whippet!

The flat-cap, when thrown, would ricochet - like Captain America's shield. The whippet would attack villains, with fantastic bursts of speed - and greater endurance than a greyhound. My footwear would be loose wooden clogs, which could be kicked at adversaries.

My enemies - villainous dog thieves - wherever they lurk - who give Yorkshiremen a bad name!

Periodically, Yorkshire Man's power needs recharging, with copious helpings of Yorkshire Puddings!

Enough of this cringeworthy nonsense!

Phillip

dangermash said...

You'll need to head down to the cricket club, Phillip. Stamp out all that racism that's giving Yorkshire a bad name. I can already picture the last page of the first issue of your comic as you smash down the door of the chairman's office expecting to see Colin Graves but the chair spins around to reveal the true mastermind behind these heinous crimes. It's him! It's every Yorkshireman's enemy! Come back next month to see Yorkshire Man take on……

…The Red Rose!

Steve W. said...

Charlie, thanks for the topic.

Apart from a mask to protect my vital secret identity, I'd just wear normal clothes, as designing and making a costume sounds like far too much hard work. Plus, in the real world, you couldn't wear a costume without looking silly. Plus, if I wore a super-hero costume, everyone would know I had super-powers, and I'd rather take them by surprise.

Superpowers: flying, mind-boggling strength, mind control, invisibility and dumb luck.

Steve W. said...

And sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

dangermash - indeed! The Red Rose, armed with his black pudding club, and a tank of Lancashire hot-pot on his back, fired from a high-powered spray gun! The Red Rose's arsenal is supplemented with a supply of Chorley & Eccles cakes, to choke Yorkshiremen with, until they agree to submit, and go over to the other side of the Pennines!

Phillip

Anonymous said...

I hope you don't mind, Charlie, but I am more one for a spot of the old super-villainy than heroism.
Tbh, as a shadowy, underground-type figure whose chief weapon is surprise I haven't given much thought to a costume. Deciding whether to have my secret base in an orbiting asteroid or disused volcano is more of a priority.

As are my secret schemes. Which are:
1. Ending British rule in the six counties (I reckon I'll be able to cross that one of my list pretty soon actually)
2. Wiping out the kulaks and establishing a glorious worldwide workers paradise.
3. Solving the anti-life equation.

As for powers... well, my perfect physique and evil genius are probably enough to get by on. But I do like the idea of having the power of the Mandrill - an army of women to do my bidding would be nice.
Plus, I wouldn't mind being able to shoot Omega beams out of my eyes. That looks cool.

-sean

Anonymous said...

PS Thinking about it, maybe I should wipe out cricket too.

-sean

Steve W. said...

I feel compelled to declare that Great TV in Britain is currently showing an episode of MASH in which Radar's got a copy of Avengers #60, even though that came out in in the 1960s and MASH is set in the 1950s. What time-bending madness is this?

B Smith said...

"...the power of the Mandrill - an army of women to do my bidding would be nice."

Thing is, with an army of women to do my bidding, any thought of world domination would fly out the window....

Anonymous said...

Steve - Given O'Riley's uncanny powers, a Daredevil comic would seem more suitable! Then again, Avengers # 60 does feature a Hawkeye (Barton, not Pierce!) in it! As regards MASH's time-frame, the early 1950's was never a period it really evoked; so a 1960s comic, read in the both 1973 & 1978 in the UK, on a tv show watched in the 1980s, about the early 1950s, repeated in 2024 - it sends your head spinning!

Phillip

Anonymous said...

It makes the Kang/Immortus thing look straight forward, Phillip.

-sean

Anonymous said...

Sean - indeed! I've just fallen victim to it, myself - it wasn't 1978 when Avengers # 60 was re-printed a second time (Avengers Annual 1978), but 1977! As the MASH writers might have said: "I'll see your Kang, and raise you a Rama-Tut!"

Phillip

Charlie Horse 47 said...

Man oh man! You cool cats have quite the imagination!

Ummm... is the Rose a reference to something like the War of the Roses? I suspect Charlie is culturally under-achieving at this moment, lol!

Phillip! Ridding the world of those nasty dog Yorkshire thieves would seemingly be a high priority for anyone, super hero or politician, up that way! Then again, where would Lassie be without Yorkie dog thieving?

Charlie Horse 47 said...

So - Charlie has had this idea bubbling around for a few years...
Anti-Maga Man! Drawn a la Kaluta's Shadow, so no flashy costume necessary, the AMM has the power to become stupider than stupid and engage any Maga Troll in a face to face argument and win. The Maga Troll walks away, stupefied, doing very unnatural things like helping old ladies cross the street, donating to charities...

AMM is accompanied by his two side kicks:

- Dutch Oven Boy who traps villains in confined situations and releases an enormous bolus of flatulence rendering them unconscious. I always figured DOB would be modeled after Forbush Man, since Forbush Man wears a Dutch Oven for a helmet! (Inspired by that murder case wherein the husband had eaten an enormous amount of Indian food and then trapped his wife under the duvet cover while flatulating and depriving her of oxygen.)

- Kabuki Boy whose powers are as yet undefined. (Inspired by watching Batman dance in his 1966 show where he does the Batusi while trapped as a slave by King Tut.)

I think there is something in all this, though perhaps for Mad Magazine and not comics?

dangermash said...

Yes Charlie. The red rose signifies Lancashire. Yorkshire and Lancashire don¡t ever seem to have forgotten the WOTR.

I like the sound of Dutch Oven Man. When I was playing Championship Manager (that's soccer management) a few years back and my chairman announced we were buying a new ground and I could name lit myself, I went for The Dutch Oven.

Anonymous said...

Charlie - To quote Musical Youth:

"I say
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side"

Phillip

Anonymous said...

I’m too lazy to think of anything original so I’m just going to default to a just-this-side-of-legally-actionable Jack Of Hearts rip-off because it’ll be so fugly my enemies will be too busy laughing or projectile vomiting at the sight of me to put up a proper defense. So — half a mask, no cape, lots and lots of brocade.

Powers-wise, I’ll just have Superman’s because he pretty much has them all. I’d especially like to fire miniature ripoff/homage Jack of Heartses out of my fingertips at my enemies.

b.t.

McSCOTTY said...

Powerwise the ability to change the amount of alcohol in any liquid therbye stopping idiots from getting too drunk and anoying folk. Or indeed the ability to have a cheap night out on special "water", I may use that power more!. My outfit a string vest and old grey tatty suit ( a la Rab C Nesbitt) to blend in with the drinkers.

Charlie Horse 47 said...

Boy oh boy! Thanks all for your contributions!

I am bemused that this sort of devolved into tribal wars, dog thieving, booze, weed, and women. Perfect! I would have expected and demanded nothing less, LOL!

Cheers All, CH47

Anonymous said...

I would want to be a shape-shifter.
Absolute and complete control over every molecule in my body. Like the Impossible Man. I could reverse the aging process, make myself taller, more handsome, stronger...

...then I could devote my time to "tribal wars, dog thieving, booze, weed, and women"!

Just like in the old days.

Although I don't remember stealing any dogs...


M.P.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, sure M.P. The dogs of South Dakota are safe, are they?
We believe you.

-sean

Anonymous said...

I would never steal a dog.
I don't care how hungry I get.

M.P.

Matthew McKinnon said...

We had a similar question fairly recently didn’t we? So I’m going to lazily re-use my answer to that.

Super-speed: I always liked the idea of The Flash at the beginning of Kingdom Come keeping the city safe invisibly at super-speed at all times.

Although thinking about it, I am generally impatient of people in real life if they aren’t moving/thinking/working quickly enough. So I think super-speed might exacerbate that.

And I think rather than keep things safe I would be just tidying up and picking up litter. I despise litter.

I think my answer says a lot about me.

I’d like to fly as well, but I’ve had room many flying then falling dreams to be confident with that.

Anonymous said...

*too many